Hey good people of NL, am i need of some advice here, since i was born, i dont remember seeing my father, i grew up with my mother. To note, father is from the South East while my mom is from t mehe North Central, however since i was born my father knew of my existence but however did not make any effort to see me. My mother tried to cajole me into agreeing to put up a meeting but even though young, i stood my ground that i wanted to be able to understand its implication before doing that. Sometimes i learnt he was dead. Am sorry bit it makes no difference to me, for me, its like hearing that someone died without knowing the cause and the name of the person. Am so indifferent. I know he has his family somewhere though i dont care. However, a few days back, i was in the bank with my grand mother when one guy approached me and inquired about my grand mother an then my mom, he somehow was and stil is the IGBO leader in the area as i later got to find out, they were discussing in low tunes cos my grand mom know better note to put such nonsence crap in my face in the bank when the bank is pissing me up. Now i suspect they want to arrange for some sort of meeting between me and his people. If they try that, am going to give them back to them. I say an ADAMANT NO to that. This is not because am crying foul for not being there, this is for the millions of other children who will be brought to this world and whose potentials will be limited because some crap of a man was not there. Listen, there is this common saying espcially if the kid like me is a guy, the stupid fool brags and says, "he is a man, he will look for me" I will not look for anybody, whats a father by the way, I want to prove to those nonsense men around the world that I and many other born out of wedlock who are termed illegitimate can go on and become successful and fulfilled without em, we can reach the top. I want to say we only give men more ego to make babies they would not care for when we go looking for them. Same should apply to women who such dirty dusty, satanic evil caps fits. (I DEY VEX WELL WELL)

If i were you i wouldnt even bother wasting my time.

He should be the one sincerely looking for you and not family members trying to pair you up. What he did was very heartless, I wouldn't want to associate myself with him.

chaircover:

The fact that you are angry about this all says that you still care about things and are terribly hurt by all this.

If its any consolation to you, many of men & women in this generation had absent fathers, fathers who went off and had other wives, fathers who wanted a child of a particular sex etc

My advise to you is if they want to meet you, then go for it. You can then close that chapter of your life; knowing your roots.

If after you meet them, and then choose not to have a deep relationship with them, then that's fine. You don't have to commit your self to anything if you don't want to. All you have to do is call them occasionally etc.

sometimes it is not worth getting angry over these situations; its their loss for losing out on a fulfilling and rewarding relationship with their children, and many absent fathers go on to regret it for many years to come.

Well said.
@Poster,u alone can choose either to meet him or not though If i were in ur shoes,i wud def. want to meet him atleast once.

Thank you for your responses, he is not there, he is dead. I guess the fact remains that the family is trying to hook me up cos i am the supposedly first son. I dont need his properties nor his money, sincerely people of whoes benefit will it be if i get to meet his family? And about roots, I know my roots, i bear my mothers surname and i will keep doing that, that is my root. It takes more than pregnanting a woman to be a father. thanks for your responses.

You have the right to be angry, cos it takes any man with Pennis to be a Dad, but a real man wth a heart to be the father.
However, if he wanna make the move to know you and spend time with you, allow him, but if you have to be the one to initiate the meeting, wait till you are comfortable, cos if he is forced to meet with you, it might not be fun.
But you need to heal your heart, bro

@Chaircover.

That was so true, he is not whole identity till the other side is recognized