Any Nigerians here that don't actually want to/plan on getting married? If so, what are your reasons?

Hold on for few minutes lemme break my fast den I will giv u my reasons...

Marriage just scare the shít outta me.

(1) I hate responsibility - i hate to be responsible for anyone's one feeling or financial burden or anything. (2) Privacy - i love my privacy. (3) Freedom - when you get married you automatically lose your freedom, you will have too explain all your movement.

RAKITIC:
(1) I hate responsibility - i hate to be responsible for anyone's one feeling or financial burden or anything. (2) Privacy - i love my privacy. (3) Freedom - when you get married you automatically lose your freedom, you will have too explain all your movement.

so you dont need children according to this right?

RAKITIC:
(1) I hate responsibility - i hate to be responsible for anyone's one feeling or financial burden or anything. (2) Privacy - i love my privacy. (3) Freedom - when you get married you automatically lose your freedom, you will have too explain all your movement.

I piri the lady that will eventually settle down with you cos you will end up being an irresponsible husband and father.Please do this generation a favour by not getting married as you've prophesied.

because its just a piece of paper.

How was your NL sabbatical

Jolsnow:
Marriage just scare the shít outta me.

What exactly scares you about it?

forap:
How was your NL sabbatical

Lol twas ok thanks

1bkaye:
What exactly scares you about it? Lol twas ok thanks

You welcome.
Do you mind sharing your outlook on marriage?

forap:

You welcome.
Do you mind sharing your outlook on marriage?

I'm pro-marriage but I also don't think it's the end all be all to live a fulfilling life

1bkaye:

I'm pro-marriage but I also don't think it's the end all be all to live a fulfilling life

In my own view also, marriage is not a must in every person's life, but if two people can make it work, it's a very good thing.

MRBrownJ:
because its just a piece of paper.

So, You're Indifferent?

I've Been An Advent Follower Of Your Posts,there Is Always One Or Two Things To Pick From Them. This Is Actually My First Of Quoting You.

Kudos Sir..

OmichaelO:
So, You're Indifferent?

I've Been An Advent Follower Of Your Posts,there Is Always One Or Two Things To Pick From Them. This Is Actually My First Of Quoting You.

Kudos Sir..

Marriage seem overrated in this part of the world and economy isn't helping matters too, but as far as I'm concerned marriage really worth it..... Getting the right person is the deal.

**shyly raises hand**
Me.
I really don't fancy the fact I will wake up to one man plus I'd give birth to children coupled with the recent marriage crashes I see these days.
I love my freedom.... A lot


Note:this thought is subject to change

MRBrownJ:
because its just a piece of paper.

Why did you bother going to school when you would only get "a piece of paper" at the end of the day?

Yea.. Me

1. I have never met anybody i want to spend the rest of my life with, even when i fall in love, i don't not imagine it to be more than temporary.

2. I do not understand why people get married. I think it is an attribute that is passed on from generation to generation. I don't understand the importance.

3. I am very much happy alone. If the ultimate goal of marriage is happiness then i already have the answer: "Being Alone"
I don't get it when people talk about lonliness. I am never lonely, i don't think my life is incomplete without another person in it. Nothing is amiss.

4. Everything obtainable in marriage, i can obtain being single.

5. Marriage looks like bondage & entrapment to me. So much rules, boundries & don't.
For example: you married someone & along the line, they changed into horrible monsters you wouldn't have dreamt of having a relationship with but then you stay cuz u made vows some years ago.

6. I am better off alone, my life is awesome that way. I can't tell you how awesome enough except you are me.

sbabimbola:


Marriage seem overrated in this part of the world and economy isn't helping matters too, but as far as I'm concerned marriage really worth it..... Getting the right person is the deal.

very True.
But Parents Expect Too Much. Let To Me, I'm Kind Indifferent.

would love to get married but for some reasons like finance don't wanna bring a child to suffer the way I did,
it very rare to find a faithful wife I stick to only one woman no more no less what people say

RAKITIC:
(1) I hate responsibility - i hate to be responsible for anyone's one feeling or financial burden or anything. (2) Privacy - i love my privacy. (3) Freedom - when you get married you automatically lose your freedom, you will have too explain all your movement.

The problem is that you have bought into other people's / society's concept of marriage instead of designing your own.
You don't have to be financially responsible for your spouse and even less emotionally. In fact, the best relationships are those where everyone takes full responsibility for themselves. You don't have to give up your privacy and freedom either.

OmichaelO:
very True. But Parents Expect Too Much. Let To Me, I'm Kind Indifferent.

ParentS!!!! They are just performing their communal roles. One needs to thread softly most times because ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

Mindfulness:


The problem is that you have bought into other people's / society's concept of marriage instead of designing your own.
You don't have to be financially responsible for your spouse and even less emotionally. In fact, the best relationships are those where everyone takes full responsibility for themselves. You don't have to give up your privacy and freedom either.

How many women can boldly say they don't feed off the need to be emotionally catered for/validated by their husbands?

I don't share his views completely, but I kinda understand what he means when he says he hates being responsible for another person's feelings.
A woman's need for constant emotional validation can be quite tiring for some men.

crackhaus:

How many women can boldly say they don't feed off the need to be emotionally catered for/validated by their husbands?

I don't know how many but certainly the miserable ones.
He can get himself a happy girl though. They exist.

I don't share his views completely, but I kinda understand what he means when he says he hates being responsible for another person's feelings.
A woman's need for constant emotional validation can be quite tiring for some men.

I perfectly understand it too but he can choose someone who takes full responsibility for her happiness. If he does the same, two happy beings will come together to create a happy relationship. It's the only way.

OmichaelO:
So, You're Indifferent?
I've Been An Advent Follower Of Your Posts,there Is Always One Or Two Things To Pick From Them. This Is Actually My First Of Quoting You.
Kudos Sir..

bro, i will never get married, and although my parents were married, they lived in a different era where it was "needed" to do so. marriage will bring nothing to my life that i havent already gotten. in this day and age, you can get the wifeys and the kids and dont need that pointless certificate...what is important is to ALWAYS have an updated WILL (even if your only wealth is a pair of shoes). but hey, if anybody believe that they must get married then fair enough.

PresVA:
Why did you bother going to school when you would only get "a piece of paper" at the end of the day?

you need to study for a few yrs and pass exams to get a diploma but there are no requirements to get married, any 2 strangers can do it.

a diploma allows you to be "certified" to work in a certain field, while a marriage certificate can be had by any 2 donkeys out there.

a diploma makes sure you get paid accordingly, after years of studies, while a marriage certificate makes sure that 2 people stay together, even if they dont want to, til death do them part (ask Titi Arowolo, Nike Shonde, Rose sougie or even Mr. Oyelowo).


so with the points above, i can safely say that a marriage certificate has absolutely NO VALUE (apart than within your mind) compared to a diploma

Mindfulness:


I don't know how many but certainly the miserable ones.
He can get himself a happy girl though. They exist.



I perfectly understand it too but he can choose someone who takes full responsibility for her happiness. If he does the same, two happy beings will come together to create a happy relationship. It's the only way.

Only miserable women seek constant emotional validation from their husbands?

crackhaus:

Only miserable women seek constant emotional validation from their husbands?

Well, miserable is a strong word and I don't mean to be mean.
Besides, I didn't say 'only' but certainly.

I strongly believe that happy women do NOT need constant validation from anyone. They do not feel any lack, they feel abundant. They do not seek, they have.

sbabimbola:


ParentS!!!!
They are just performing their communal roles.
One needs to thread softly most times because ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

True Again..They Are Just Playing Their Basic Roles,the Thought Of It Alone (long Term) Could Be Scary.

@MRBrownJ I have not too different view, but then, my parents especially my mother
I Will Have To Learn 4 More Languages To Get Close In Convincing Here.

I have some I like though, and I really don't mind getting married to her "if/when" the time comes.

OmichaelO:
@MRBrownJ I have not too different view, but then, my parents especially my mother
I Will Have To Learn 4 More Languages To Get Close In Convincing Here.

as soon as there are grandkids, parents soften like butter on a hot plate...

I have some I like though, and I really don't mind getting married to her "if/when" the time comes.

***devil's advocate mode ON***
ok, if you believe that marrying her is the solution then so be it... but before you do, ask yourself the important question: you will date this gal, spend a few months/years then eventually love her to the point of wanting to spend the rest of your natural life with her... so how is "marrying her" gonna change or improve the r/ship you guys already have?

OmichaelO:
True Again..They Are Just Playing Their Basic Roles,the Thought Of It Alone (long Term) Could Be Scary.

Don't worry, you'd pull through..... you get scared because deep down within you, you care for and cherish family life a lot.

MRBrownJ:


as soon as there are grandkids, parents soften like butter on a hot plate...



***devil's advocate mode ON***
ok, if you believe that marrying her is the solution then so be it... but before you do, ask yourself the important question: you will date this gal, spend a few months/years then eventually love her to the point of wanting to spend the rest of your natural life with her... so how is "marrying her" gonna change or improve the r/ship you guys already have?

Parents have grandkids already.

I'm last on the list.


the devil's advocate mode advice got me thinking though, thinking it rationally you're right .
but then, how will one accomplish the idea of starting and having a family

living apart ?

sbabimbola:


Don't worry, you'd pull through..... you get scared because deep down within you, you care for and cherish family life a lot.

Amen.
Thank you for the kind words.