just as i was standing infront of the bank and crying like someone who lost his d!ck, my fone rang. I looked at the screen and it was a friend named segun. I do call him “sege the guru” because is into blogging and ICT. SEGE: ogbeni how far? U number no dey waka since yesterday Me: sege how far SEGE: I dey o. Wetin do ur voice, u no dey sound normal my guy, u dey sound like life fowl wey dey inside hot water. wetin do u? ME: I have been duped by a woman i love so much. SEGE: say wetin, abeg pick a bike dey come Egbe right now. I stoppd a bike going to Egbe where segun lives. After 8mins. I am at segun’s room entrance Me: ko ko ko sege: who be that, come in.
I entered, sat down, then without wasting time, I summarized the whole episode to sege in 3minutes. SEGE: “were ni e o” omo porta ti lo agbari fun e... Ode ni e ME: no be my fault, this babe fine die and get assets for front and back. I just so much love her SEGE: Ogbeni, you are the “baddest maga ever liveth” me: thank u. Wetin i go come do now segun SEGE: no worry, we go arrange collect part or the whole of that 10k from her, u go still straff her free for the next 2days and u go discharge her without giving a kobo Me: is that possible, how i go do am now? Just immediately, a message came in from adebimpe which says “baby, i’m on my way back”. I showed it to sege. He laughed and said to me. “ogbeni, if u fall again this time, then u don break world maga record”. He opened a bulk sms application on his phone, draft an Access bank debit alert of 25k and send it to my line. Me: what should i do with it SEGE: Show it to her wen u reach house, tell her say ATM debit the whole 25k wey u wan give her and the money no come out of the machine, so u dey go the bank tomorrow to complain. But if she no fit wait, tell her say u get person wey u fit collect the money from and then call me make i show.
We go dey write d script on whatsapp as u dey go. But make sure u clear the whatsapp chats after ooo I dashed out of segun’s house. I went home straight, on getting home, i met adebimpe sitting on the bed restless. As i entered, she hugged me and gave me a kiss. BIMPE: baby, u look unhappy, what happend? Me: ** i brought out my fone and showed her the alert and then act the drama as directed by segun”*** bimpe wore a sad face BIMPE: What do we do now? This is 11:08am and i must get to PHC today.

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