The first phrase of the topic above happens to be my understanding (yours might differ) of gender equality and as a feminist who stands toe to toe, shoulder to shoulder and looks eye ball to eye ball against the patriarchy in our society especially in the cooperate world, I can now breathe a huge sigh of relief when I see women doing superb and amazing things in today’s cooperate and business world. Gone were the days when the competition used to be between men but now it is between men and women tussling it out for a place in the cooperate world, left to me I will even point out that the female folks are getting some form of “upper hand” compared to the opposite gender in terms of getting more opportunity in recent times.

However, coming from this part of the world; the third world as “they” call it, we have been indoctrinated into this particular mentality that the female folks are not fit to compete in “our” male world, right from time immemorial when our sisters have been delegated with the duty of washing the dishes, cooking, fetching water and doing other house chores while the boys play football, roll tires and fly kites at the field. Some of these boys now grow into men and only see women as marriage objects that they subject to the kitchen and in some cases degrade to a punching bag and reject after a while all because of how they have been raised to believe that they are all so superior to the female folks. This reminds me of what my lecturer once said about girls who we studied accountancy together back then, he said most of them will end up as WEEK (Women Education Ends in the Kitchen) sounds “somehow wrong” to sane mind but obviously I don’t blame him because I guess he grew up playing football and flying kites while his sisters washed and cooked.

But in a modern society of ours, Women are more than what society have perceived them to be because beneath “some” Brazilian, Peruvian, human and Ogbomosho hairs they carry are some creative and functioning brains that can think up great ideas, chase their dreams and be all that they can be. Women are caring mothers, loving wives and supportive sisters. And as a matter of fact, I have been blessed to have them around me (if you know what I mean).

Kudos to the feminist movements though, more men are beginning to buy into the feminist gospel of equality from husbands to CEOS of blue-chip organizations, pastors etc but there is a problem; and it is the problem of gender equality in marriage. Men have changed their paradigm towards gender equality in the business circle but hardly have they in this aspect.

According to the definition of gender equality; both sexes are allowed, given the chance, have the same opportunities and rights to do whatever the other sex can do. Bringing this to the relationship and marriage setting, I seldom see any reason why it should be scorned at by the female folks if a lady woes a guy into a relationship or propose marriage; besides… aren’t we equal?

Recently a lady proposed to her man in far away Europe (the so called more civilized society), and the whole internet went agog with unprintable words of insults against this lady; questioning her dignity as a woman and how men are meant to declare their love to any lady and even follow suit with affirmed seriousness, and I begin to wonder the hypocrisy behind this gender equality (besides the lady is happily married now and most of you are still single and doing aso-ebi girls even picking up bride’s flower every saturday). Are we ever going come to a point where the female folks start paying for a date instead of it always being churned out from the guys’ pocket? He who finds a wife they say finds a good thing but what of she who finds a man? Besides… aren’t we (now) equal? Make we dey fear God oo.

It is not only about expecting the men to cook (that’s if you are blessed enough to have a man like me who can cook extremely good food), bath the kids, change diapers, you will also expect us to breast feed the baby if our breast or chest produced milk, run house chores, wash your clothes and to you that is the definition of gender equality in marriage? No my dear! As much as you want these to be the idea of equality, it is also about putting yourself in a position to change what you have been indoctrinated to believe since when “Obi was a boy” or the times of “Edet lives in Calabar”. Forgo what you will rightfully expect of a man to do to you or for you in the marriage and do it yourself or to him including initiating SEX. Besides aren’t we equal again? You believe in gender equality in marriage, but yet you still expect monthly allowance, upkeep allowance, august meeting uniform money or money for iya Monsura’s aso-ebi for Monsura’s wedding as well as money for fueling your car from your man! My dear I thought we are now equal? You seldom buy your man Valentine’s day gifts or any romantic gesture and you expect the whole world as gift from him on your birthday? How hypocritical of you!

Enough said and done, I am still a staunch feminist and the male folks shouldn’t for a slight second think I am saying you should side line your God given responsibility ( financial and otherwise) to a woman because that is exactly what it is not.

What I think should be done is a much more intelligence approach to it by re-branding the name and clamoring for what is called “GENDER EQUITY” Which is the process of allocating resources, programs and decision-making fairly to both males and females. This requires ensuring that everyone has access to a full range of opportunities to achieve the social, psychological and physical benefits that come from participating and leading any industry, Field or social development program. It does not necessarily mean making the same programs, social strategy and facilities available to both males and females. Gender equity requires that girls and women be provided with a full range of activity and program choices that meet their needs, interests and experiences.

By changing the name you are sure to get support from everyone even from some male folk with self-esteem issues, and it won’t make it seem like you are competing with the male folks in anyway because nature has always created the female gender in its own unique way as well as the male gender.

*confidently expecting the bashers and critics to come for me*
By TemmyTee007

http://mytemmytee..com.ng/2016/06/the-hypocrisy-behind-gender-equality.html

yes temmytee is back with he's well compiled articles

well it can be said any better,
the truth is many of this so called feminist poo know all this but the hatred they hold on to won't let them tell themselves the truth.....
after they will be complaining of not getting tthe right husband when time is no longer in their favour...
but i know ogar seun and lalasticlala will always want gender equity anyday anytime, abi no bi so lalasticlala

BTW if you stand for Gender equity CLICK LIKE and if you stand for gender equality CLICK SHARE ....let's see the motion that takes the day.....

bayulll01:
yes temmytee is back with he's well compiled articles

well it can be said any better,
the truth is many of this so called feminist poo know all this but the hatred they hold on to won't let them tell themselves the truth.....
after they will be complaining of not getting tthe right husband when time is no longer in their favour...
but i know ogar seun and lalasticlala will always want gender equity anyday anytime, abi no bi so lalasticlala

BTW if you stand for Gender equity CLICK LIKE and if you stand for gender equality CLICK SHARE ....let's see the motion that takes the day.....

lolz
rightly said there bro it's get me irritated when you promote double standard

op made alot if sense. In the secular world, equality is been practiced already and the competition between both sex is getting more interesting.

In marriage, it's a different ball game. A woman is to submit to her husband and a man is to provide for the family emotionally, financially and in security
this setting does not and should not make a woman a second hand citizen, it was designed by God to create order and decorum.
But because men a stronger, women are prone to abuse in the relationship and that's were feminism comes in
a woman should never be beaten, made to pack out with children when her husband dies or drink the water from his dead body, humiliated by inlaws

many of us are going to have daughters. you will cherish her so much, spend time and money to train and want her to have the best of things and opportunities in life, I bet you wouldn't like one boy somewhere to think he is better than her just because he was born a boy, you will defend her even to your grave. let's support our girls, sisters and mothers to believe in themselves, develop themselves and achieve their dreams

op made alot of sense. In the secular world, equality is been practiced already and the competition between both sex is getting more interesting.

In marriage, it's a different ball game. A woman is to submit to her husband and a man is to provide for the family emotionally, financially and in security
this setting does not and should not make a woman a second hand citizen, it was designed by God to create order and decorum.
But because men a stronger, women are prone to abuse in the relationship and that's were feminism comes in
a woman should never be beaten, made to pack out with children when her husband dies or drink the water from his dead body, humiliated by inlaws

many of us are going to have daughters. you will cherish her so much, spend time and money to train and want her to have the best of things and opportunities in life, I bet you wouldn't like one boy somewhere to think he is better than her just because he was born a boy, you will defend her even to your grave. let's support our girls, sisters and mothers to believe in themselves, develop themselves and achieve their dreams