Hated for not having a male child?
By GIDEON OPARINDE[tomgidops@yahoo.com]
Sunday, September 6, 2009


•Oluwakemi



http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/wiveslive/2009/sept/06/wiveslive-06-09-2009-001.htm



This was an unusual gathering. Moladun wondered why all her in-laws were visiting them this Sunday. It was Uncle Jide that first arrived. Not quite long after that, her husband’s immediate sister, Mummy Mofe came in.

Then grandpa and grandma arrived. Ha! Something bad is in the air. But what could it be? She wondered. Her husband of ten years, Dayo, looking a bit worried was around, so also were her four daughters. She had just spoken to her parents an hour ago, so what could it be?

It was when grandpa started talking and Uncle Jide contributing to what he was saying that it dawned on her. One of Dayo’s numerous mistresses had given birth to a baby boy! His family had come to appeal to her.

The issue of a male child had been a running battle between her and her mother-in-law. Mama had threatened to marry another woman for Dayo so that he would have a male child, as if it is the woman’s fault for not producing the required baby boy. Many a times, Mama had even suggested that packing out of her matrimonial home could be an option if she fails to give her a grandson. Now, she has finally achieved her aim. How would you react to this kind of threat if you were in Moladun’s shoes?

OLUWAKEMI A.
To the best of my knowledge, in-laws should be advised to stay clear of their children’s homes. Most times, in-laws are the major cause of problems young couples encounter. Once you have given your child out in marriage, the next thing I expect is they keep praying for them, seeking their joy, happiness and not looking for their downfall.

CHINAZA IKECHUKWU
I have found out that everything that happens positively abroad goes the opposite direction here in Africa, Nigeria to be precise. Abroad, nobody takes the issue of male or female child personal. But here, it has become an issue of open debate and an area of great attention. I can say categorically that there are great women worldwide that are more recognized than men; they have significant impacts in the society than men.

It is in Nigeria that a woman is always in hot soup when she is unable to give birth to 11 or 12 children, when she could not give birth a year after her wedding, or when she could not have a male child; as if the female child is not equally good. What of people who don’t even have any?
If there are no female, how would this mother-in-law emerge, or where would the father-in-law get a wife? Whoever is sad that her child has no male child should adopt one, at least if that would make her happy.

MODUPE A.
In the African setup, a male child is well recognized because he is the shield of the Family. He is the heir of the family; the one that will continue the family’s lineage after the father might have passed on. But what some families/men fail to realize is that we are now in a generation where women are of great value in the society. We have female pastors, lawyers, and doctors etc.

In old age as well, women are the ones that take care of their parents most. Besides, scientifically, it is the man that determines the sex of a child and not the woman. So, women should not be blamed for this.
Also, we need to understand that in this 20th century, civilization has been the order of the day, different things happen day in day out. We have women with compound names. We have women who still answer the names of their father after their husband’s names. In such instance, the name of the man will be totally blotted off.

However, if all my children are female, first, I will have to thank God for giving them to me. I will accept them as gift from God because Psalm 127:3 says Children are the heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is His reward. Secondly, I will train them in the way of the Lord, give them well and sound education.

As they grow, I will teach them sex education, the type of friends they keep both in schools, church, at home and make sure they are not wayward.
Finally, I will commit them into God’s hand because without God, they cannot achieve anything in life and be useful to their generation.

SAIDAT HASSAN
For God’s sake, do such evil people still live in our midst? I wonder the planets they come from. At times I wonder why wicked people should still remain on earth.
If they want male children at all cost, they should tell their son to find solution to himself because men are sex determinant when it comes to having babies. Such wicked mothers-in-laws have forgotten they will face God’s judgment when or before they die. My advice is that we should please fear God and stay away from evil. Let us not think we would live forever on earth. Where do they want these poor girls to go just because they couldn’t have a male child?

OMOBOLANLE OLATOYE
Generally speaking, if all my children are female and there is so much pressure from my in-laws, I will first explain to them that it is not the fault of the woman having only female offspring.
God and the man are the main determinants on having a male or female child. The man donates the “Y” chromosomes, which are responsible for the male child, while the woman donates only the “X” chromosome. The woman is not to blame. More so, children are gifts from God. God made both male and female. That is the fact they have to understand.

MRS. ABDULFATAI
To start with, I have three questions for these so-called in-laws: First question, which of these children is not a child? Two, which of the children can they create? Third, which of these children can they predict would expand their family tentacles and what is the assurance that the wife they are agitating for would give them a male child? If they can give answers to these three questions, especially the last one, then they should move on with their plans.
They should leave me and my children alone, I believe we will be fine; I will take care of my children and would ensure they have a bright future.

ENIGBOKAN BOLA
I’m not God, I cannot force myself do what is beyond me. If my mother-in-law wants a male child, there are things she could do on our behalf. She can help us pray to God, and not resort to threatening me. After marriage, in-laws should have limited control over their children’s affairs. These are the major crisis in most homes today. Finally, if there were love between couples, they would not allow intruders into their family.

MRS. JOSEPH
Well, responsible mothers-in-law should be source of joy to their daughters-in-law. No wonder some spinsters don’t pray to have mothers-in-law. They have learnt from others’ nightmare. Hmm, Wives and mothers!

ONENYERE G.
Let’s take it from this angle; I don’t think there’s any woman that would not want to have a male child. No woman dislikes a good thing for herself and her family. But if it is not forth coming, the wife should not be victimized. The mother-in-law should have been her support whenever she is troubled about this, not to be a torn in the flesh.

Aloy~Emeka:

Hated for not having a male child?
By GIDEON OPARINDE[tomgidops@yahoo.com]
Sunday, September 6, 2009


•Oluwakemi



http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/wiveslive/2009/sept/06/wiveslive-06-09-2009-001.htm



This was an unusual gathering. Moladun wondered why all her in-laws were visiting them this Sunday. It was Uncle Jide that first arrived. Not quite long after that, her husband’s immediate sister, Mummy Mofe came in.

Then grandpa and grandma arrived. Ha! Something bad is in the air. But what could it be? She wondered. Her husband of ten years, Dayo, looking a bit worried was around, so also were her four daughters. She had just spoken to her parents an hour ago, so what could it be?

It was when grandpa started talking and Uncle Jide contributing to what he was saying that it dawned on her. One of Dayo’s numerous mistresses had given birth to a baby boy! His family had come to appeal to her.

The issue of a male child had been a running battle between her and her mother-in-law. Mama had threatened to marry another woman for Dayo so that he would have a male child, as if it is the woman’s fault for not producing the required baby boy. Many a times, Mama had even suggested that packing out of her matrimonial home could be an option if she fails to give her a grandson. Now, she has finally achieved her aim. How would you react to this kind of threat if you were in Moladun’s shoes?

OLUWAKEMI A.
To the best of my knowledge, in-laws should be advised to stay clear of their children’s homes. Most times, in-laws are the major cause of problems young couples encounter. Once you have given your child out in marriage, the next thing I expect is they keep praying for them, seeking their joy, happiness and not looking for their downfall.

CHINAZA IKECHUKWU
I have found out that everything that happens positively abroad goes the opposite direction here in Africa, Nigeria to be precise. Abroad, nobody takes the issue of male or female child personal. But here, it has become an issue of open debate and an area of great attention. I can say categorically that there are great women worldwide that are more recognized than men; they have significant impacts in the society than men.

It is in Nigeria that a woman is always in hot soup when she is unable to give birth to 11 or 12 children, when she could not give birth a year after her wedding, or when she could not have a male child; as if the female child is not equally good. What of people who don’t even have any?
If there are no female, how would this mother-in-law emerge, or where would the father-in-law get a wife? Whoever is sad that her child has no male child should adopt one, at least if that would make her happy.

MODUPE A.
In the African setup, a male child is well recognized because he is the shield of the Family. He is the heir of the family; the one that will continue the family’s lineage after the father might have passed on. But what some families/men fail to realize is that we are now in a generation where women are of great value in the society. We have female pastors, lawyers, and doctors etc.

In old age as well, women are the ones that take care of their parents most. Besides, scientifically, it is the man that determines the sex of a child and not the woman. So, women should not be blamed for this.
Also, we need to understand that in this 20th century, civilization has been the order of the day, different things happen day in day out. We have women with compound names. We have women who still answer the names of their father after their husband’s names. In such instance, the name of the man will be totally blotted off.

However, if all my children are female, first, I will have to thank God for giving them to me. I will accept them as gift from God because Psalm 127:3 says Children are the heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is His reward. Secondly, I will train them in the way of the Lord, give them well and sound education.

As they grow, I will teach them sex education, the type of friends they keep both in schools, church, at home and make sure they are not wayward.
Finally, I will commit them into God’s hand because without God, they cannot achieve anything in life and be useful to their generation.

SAIDAT HASSAN
For God’s sake, do such evil people still live in our midst? I wonder the planets they come from. At times I wonder why wicked people should still remain on earth.
If they want male children at all cost, they should tell their son to find solution to himself because men are sex determinant when it comes to having babies. Such wicked mothers-in-laws have forgotten they will face God’s judgment when or before they die. My advice is that we should please fear God and stay away from evil. Let us not think we would live forever on earth. Where do they want these poor girls to go just because they couldn’t have a male child?

OMOBOLANLE OLATOYE
Generally speaking, if all my children are female and there is so much pressure from my in-laws, I will first explain to them that it is not the fault of the woman having only female offspring.
God and the man are the main determinants on having a male or female child. The man donates the “Y” chromosomes, which are responsible for the male child, while the woman donates only the “X” chromosome. The woman is not to blame. More so, children are gifts from God. God made both male and female. That is the fact they have to understand.

MRS. ABDULFATAI
To start with, I have three questions for these so-called in-laws: First question, which of these children is not a child? Two, which of the children can they create? Third, which of these children can they predict would expand their family tentacles and what is the assurance that the wife they are agitating for would give them a male child? If they can give answers to these three questions, especially the last one, then they should move on with their plans.
They should leave me and my children alone, I believe we will be fine; I will take care of my children and would ensure they have a bright future.

ENIGBOKAN BOLA
I’m not God, I cannot force myself do what is beyond me. If my mother-in-law wants a male child, there are things she could do on our behalf. She can help us pray to God, and not resort to threatening me. After marriage, in-laws should have limited control over their children’s affairs. These are the major crisis in most homes today. Finally, if there were love between couples, they would not allow intruders into their family.

MRS. JOSEPH
Well, responsible mothers-in-law should be source of joy to their daughters-in-law. No wonder some spinsters don’t pray to have mothers-in-law. They have learnt from others’ nightmare. Hmm, Wives and mothers!

ONENYERE G.
Let’s take it from this angle; I don’t think there’s any woman that would not want to have a male child. No woman dislikes a good thing for herself and her family. But if it is not forth coming, the wife should not be victimized. The mother-in-law should have been her support whenever she is troubled about this, not to be a torn in the flesh.

2009 Does shi't'e like this still happen in Naija in this days and age Ignorance is truly blissful

Wait . . . you mean things like this still happen?

IyaBasira:

Wait . . . you mean things like this still happen?

trust me things like this still happen - its not just here i know it happens in india and china as well.

and trust me in the next 5 years u will still here these stories on nairaland. and we wonder why we are not progressing.

I doubt that any in laws will walk into someones home if they know that she just might jump up and take a chunk of their ass.

Outstrip:

I doubt that any in laws will walk into someones home if they know that she just might jump up and take a chunk of their backside.

Where are you gonna live after taking that chunk?

Please can someone explain to me how this was wicked?
I mean the man had a child outside and that was not ideal but at the end of the day that child is his flesh and blood and has a right to his father.
The in-laws came to appeal to her. What is wrong with that.
Children are never to blame. If the woman loves her husband and her own kids would she deprive them of the joy of a son/ brother?
Is that boy not a brother to her kids. She should accept the child even if she is not happy with the situation.

Aloy+Emeka:

Where are you gonna live after taking that chunk?

In my house. where else

Outstrip:

In my house. where else

Better watch your back after that because your inlaws will eat you alive. Is it worth the stress?

Aloy you seem to live in fantasy land. What in laws? If they have free access to my house to sit on my couch and disrespect me then what you are talking about will make sense. I don't know why you think that anybody could just walk into anybody's home and be allowed to act like they are in a cave. It will never happen in our home

Is mutter for real?

The inlaws supported his having an affair with various women and now they've come to plead,plead what exactly? do you really expect the woman to just accept the child just like that?

Seriously are you for real or a spam bot?

Outstrip:

Aloy you seem to live in fantasy land. What in laws? If they have free access to my house to sit on my couch and disrespect me then what you are talking about will make sense. I don't know why you think that anybody could just walk into anybody's home and be allowed to act like they are in a cave. It will never happen in our home

Its like you've been out of naija for a while. Dem go scatter that your door with 5 thugs and 3 kidnappers and show you pepper. There is no 911 or 999 in Nigeria.

Aloy+Emeka:

Its like you've been out of naija for a while. Dem go scatter that your door with 5 thugs and 3 kidnappers and show you pepper. There is no 911 or 999 in Nigeria.

They have rights in the US so it will even be better for them here. In Nigeria they don't have rights. You break down my door then you will really pay the consequences. I don't care where you are in this world. The most abusive people are usually the biggest wussies. In laws are no exception. I might have been gone from Nigeria for a while but I still know what's up. A teacher hit me once and he paid for it and yes it was in Nigeria. How much more when my family knows where they live. My home is my sanctuary and my children and I will live in peace. If you come to cause trouble I will not rest until you burn.

mutter:

Please can someone explain to me how this was wicked?
I mean the man had a child outside and that was not ideal but at the end of the day that child is his flesh and blood and has a right to his father.
The in-laws came to appeal to her. What is wrong with that.
Children are never to blame. If the woman loves her husband and her own kids would she deprive them of the joy of a son/ brother?
Is that boy not a brother to her kids. She should accept the child even if she is not happy with the situation.

Is this down to old age or wisdom,hmmmmm, the jury is out

---

Jennykadry now what is not for real here.
It is indeed painful and mean for the in-laws to encourage him to have a male child outside and that is what makes a few women go outside to bring children for their husbands, when there is no issue or no male child.
But that aside. Does a child not have a right to his father, his name, his family.
Even if the woman rejects what difference does it make. This child is the first male chid and accepted by the husband and his family.
The woman accepting the child would only bring harmony in the home on the long run and make the children grow up to love each other.
If I were in the same situation I would not let my hurt get in the way of depriving my kids a brother or my husband a on.
I have seen cases like this were women accepted the children outside and showed them love and helped make something out of them. these children grew to love their step mums so much and would move the world for them.
Do you know the faith of that child tomorrow. He may be a pillar to his siblings and family. The case of the stone the builders rejected.
I have also seen cases where the child was rejected by the step mum and these children when the grew up were only targeted at destroying the woman and her siblings.
Do you know what a child is? An innocent human being that also has fundamental human rights.
You need to have an overall view of the situation.

Any man that can not look into any extend family face to say no to the distruction of his destiny does not deserve to be called the head of a home many Man has given thier wife and children out to thier family to mess up the woman should just accept her fate and take care of her girls God will wip her tears soon by making her children prominent people in this world

chaircover:

OK back to simple secondary school Biology

The spermatozoa cell determines the sex of an individual. If a spermatozoa cell containing an X chromosome fertilizes an egg, the resulting zygote will be XX or female. If the spermatozoa cell contains a Y chromosome, then the resulting zygote will be XY or male.

So my next question is what will the in-laws say if the woman decides to get pregnant out side because her home-husband cant give her a male child? 

I think the Government should do more to further teach these educated- illiterates & the plain normal illiterates on how babies are actually made.

Do you really think education will help? I think for 90% of the people that go with this they will not care. We are not only talking about the men and the in laws here but even the silly women. I mean how many times have you heard a woman say that she knows without a doubt that it is her husband that has the problem but she would never voice it in public even when he beats her and abuses her for not giving him a son. How many times has the man stopped having sex with her and picks a woman outside that then has a son with that other woman then everybody shouts glory halleluyah we finally have a son.
You cannot educate these kinds of people. To me this kind of ignorance is demonic LOL. Seriously. It makes no sense to be as ignorant as some people "choose" to be. You can come in there and tell him, sperm, zygote, x and y etc and expect them to take you seriously. When people are this ignorant there is simply nothing anyone can do but leave with it or move on
We saw the sad case that just happened in Florida where the man murdered his wife. I really hate to bring it up again but it turns out that the only child in the family was not even his son. Which means when everybody was shouting that no marriage until she gets pregnant the woman realizing that the man was not capable went outside and did it. 16 years later she tells the man and then this tragedy follows. That is what I mean by silly women. You know the man cannot have kids but you go out and get pregnant and the man blissfully ignorant raises another mans child.

Outstrip:


We saw the sad case that just happened in Florida where the man murdered his wife. I really hate to bring it up again but it turns out that the only child in the family was not even his son. Which means when everybody was shouting that no marriage until she gets pregnant the woman realizing that the man was not capable went outside and did it. 16 years later she tells the man and then this tragedy follows. That is what I mean by silly women. You know the man cannot have kids but you go out and get pregnant and the man blissfully ignorant raises another mans child.

But what the woman did to the man was evil and nobody will find it funny.

Why can't she give him a son? i will advice her to stop having sex with her husband for 6 months after which she will have a son is easy. What is even the prove that the outside wife's son is his? she might just get the son from another man and give to him.

mutter:

Jennykadry now what is not for real here.
It is indeed painful and mean for the in-laws to encourage him to have a male child outside and that is what makes a few women go outside to bring children for their husbands, when there is no issue or no male child.
But that aside. Does a child not have a right to his father, his name, his family.
Even if the woman rejects what difference does it make. This child is the first male chid and accepted by the husband and his family.
The woman accepting the child would only bring harmony in the home on the long run and make the children grow up to love each other.
If I were in the same situation I would not let my hurt get in the way of depriving my kids a brother or my husband a on.
I have seen cases like this were women accepted the children outside and showed them love and helped make something out of them. these children grew to love their step mums so much and would move the world for them.
Do you know the faith of that child tomorrow. He may be a pillar to his siblings and family. The case of the stone the builders rejected.
I have also seen cases where the child was rejected by the step mum and these children when the grew up were only targeted at destroying the woman and her siblings.
Do you know what a child is? An innocent human being that also has fundamental human rights.
You need to have an overall view of the situation.

No one is against the child born out of wedlock. What the people are against is  some people in 2010 still thinking not having a son makes you a lesser man and going ahead to have a child outside marriage cos of that

I remember a man (supposedly educated) who had 3 daughters with his wife, then went outside cos he was looking for a son. unfortunately for him, his mistress only gave him another 2 girls

Then his wife conceived again and gave him a son and the foolish man said to the wife; 'why did you allow me to go outside when you know you can give me a son? you should have given me a son 1st'

^^OAM4JENNY (a.k.a MR MJ wanna be) where have you been? how was the surgery? and how's CC's Tura working on your face?heard your artifical nose fell off like MJ's

OCCULTIST:

Why can't she give him a son? i will advice her to stop having sex with her husband for 6 months after which she will have a son is easy. What is even the prove that the outside wife's son is his? she might just get the son from another man and give to him.

chaircover:

OK back to simple secondary school Biology

The spermatozoa cell determines the sex of an individual. If a spermatozoa cell containing an X chromosome fertilizes an egg, the resulting zygote will be XX or female. If the spermatozoa cell contains a Y chromosome, then the resulting zygote will be XY or male.

So my next question is what will the in-laws say if the woman decides to get pregnant out side because her home-husband cant give her a male child? 

I think the Government should do more to further teach these educated- illiterates & the plain normal illiterates on how babies are actually made.

Please,I need your email address.I have somethn personal I need to talk to you about.
Please if you cant drop it here,send it to justwise@hotmail.co.uk

chaircover:

OK back to simple secondary school Biology

The spermatozoa cell determines the sex of an individual. If a spermatozoa cell containing an X chromosome fertilizes an egg, the resulting zygote will be XX or female. If the spermatozoa cell contains a Y chromosome, then the resulting zygote will be XY or male.

So my next question is what will the in-laws say if the woman decides to get pregnant out side because her home-husband cant give her a male child? 

I think the Government should do more to further teach these educated- illiterates & the plain normal illiterates on how babies are actually made.

Please,I need your email address.I have somethn personal I need to talk to you about.
Please if you cant drop it here,send it to justwise@hotmail.co.uk

jennykadry:

^^OAM4JENNY (a.k.a MR MJ wanna be) where have you been? how was the surgery? and how's CC's Tura working on your face?heard your artifical nose fell off like MJ's

Been busy making more money for Muki, Spikey and I. Also Muki cancelled the surgery and Spikey threw away CC's Tura, they both love and prefer me as I am. BTW how is it going with you and denzel2009?

---

You got mail!

You got mail!

chaircover:

See you!! Throwing away items you havent paid for

Could it be that you are so pako that the crean no fit work Jenny pls send this guy some brillo pads and vim

Where have you been anyways? We have missed you o! I thought you were busy swimming accross the Alantic with a flower in your . . . . .

unpaid? are you sure? Anyways, how do you receive payment? - in cash, card or in kind?

Nothing. What is there to do? For the sake of my sanity I will not be popping out babies, that I know I don't want or have the resources to provide for them, just for the sake of producing a boy. Yeah, all men desire a boy just for the sake of saying that have someone that looks like them. But at the end of day a healthy, thriving child should be most desired even if it's not a boy.