The process of telling my story has been looming over me, I find myself unable to overcome the impossibility of this exercise. How can I convey my story in the most contrite way.

Graduating from a Private University in the year 2011, I thought I had the plans of my life all set up. Ready for my youth service in 2012, I was posted to Katsina state and redeployed to abuja, the city of gold or so I thought. I always wanted to serve there but I soon realized I was making a decision inconsistent with my ideal fantasy. Given my family circumstances, I expected my greatest leap awaited me in Abuja.

About 5 years earlier, when I gained admission, I had just moved back to my father's house since aged 7 when I moved out with my mum and two siblings
I am from a polygamous home and I was opportuned to travel out on some holidays and was given a stipend out of which i saved half or more all the time. I said to myself I was going to graduate a millionaire. I was placed on a monthly allowance of 20000 naira monthly out of which I spent 2500 to 5000 monthly and saved the rest. By the time I got to the second semester of my 200 level I had already saved about 500 to 700000 naira. While in school, I was responsible for my mum's rent sometimes, I paid her rent twice which was about 500000 naira, bought her gifts, gave her money but she was never ever satisfied. I was solely responsible for my other siblings also. Bearing the full weight even though they got their allowances just like me, I never complained.

Surviving the rigors of starvation and self sacrifice, I kept on denying myself so much to save as much as possible as my school dosent allow businesses and my father is a volatile man. I knew at some point I and my siblings had to move out as is all with every child under him. My mum used I and my siblings for financial security frommy dad so depending on her was like sitting on the ocean. I fell ill so many times due to my starvation from low blood cell count to ulcer to somanythings yet I persevered.

Aged 19, I graduated a multimillionaire. My most important plan was to buy a land and start building on it gradually as I have never had the security of a home before. Serving in Abuja, I got carried away with the beautiful scenery and the hopes of hitting it big. Tales of how people meet their life partners during their service year flooded my mind. This was it. I decided to make myself as comfortable as possible, I had lived in the most uncondusive environment with my mum and siblings when we moved out of our dad's house at a young age. And after travelling out and living in a nice house with my dad, I had become accustomed to wealth and good living. I got an apartment worth 550000 in abuja, spent over 400000 furnishing it. Then the icing on the cake I decided to buy a nigerian used car worth 400k, but one of my siblings persuaded me to buy a foreign used as Nigerian used cars always had issues. I was so excited.

My plan was to use the car for a year, sell it, move my furniture to my new home if I couldn't get a job in Abuja. I ended up spending 752500 for the package of the whole car. I came to lagos, checked the car went back to Abuja and sent the money to my siblings. The day the car was purchased, I asked to see some pictures, my sibling never sent it. Even the day the driver was to bring the car, he left lagos by 3pm unknowing to me so I wouldn't see the car I picked wasn't what was being brought to me. Fortunately for me, the driver was arrested at night by the police for driving without headlamps. I wondered what kind of car comes without headlamps. I also sent money for a new front tire and suspected foul play that the driver would tell me it got burst onthe way. Exactly it happened and I told him to bring the burst tire along, he called my sibling and my sibling called and said how wouldhe bring a burst tire. Since the carwasnt coming that day, I went to work.

The next day upon arrival, the car I picked wasn't what was brought was enraged, it had been accidented by the side, called my sibling who kept on lieing to me. I paid the driver his balance and couldn't even think straight. Upon opening the boot, I noticed so many bottles with water filled inside. Even the car key was like something brought out of a pit. I had the car washed thinking it would automatically transcend to what I had picked in lagos, I was damn wrong as this was only the beginning of my woes.

Whenever I drove the car, I noticed smoke always coming my the window functions, gear and from every orfice in the car. I had to stop every 5 minutes to water the car to avoid having an explosion. The same month thecar was brought the gasket spoilt, and also with the other thingsin thecar that wasn't working like the window functions, headlamp, no sunshield, no ac, I spent 40000 fixing them. I thought it was done as the mechanic assured me everything was fine only for the car engine to get knocked not up to a month after making me spend over 200000 fixing the engine. I also fixed the upper arm of the car, bought new tires, bought break pads and fixed the brake as it was so bad. Dumping the car was no option for me, the loss was unbearable. I was told so manythings to send the car back to lagos. My sibling and I fought, my sibling said I wasn't returning anything and I would be attacked if I tried anything. I wasn't even fazed by the threats, all I knew was it was a lost cause because I would only end up spending more. Few months down the line, I was robbed, about 90000 was taken from me, my laptop,atm and documents. I spent a few ten thousands moving from one place to the other outside abuja, I was done with Abuja. What kind of life is this, did I deserve this, who did I offend, I wailed. I wasn't even paid my allowance for 3 months. The so called youth service I came for has ruined me.

My service year was rounding up and I had suffered more losses than anyone could imagine for a young and promising graduate. I left Abuja with pain, hatred and regret. I drove my car myself with the help of a friend from Abuja to Lagos. Moved my things to a friends house. Few months after my service I and my siblings time expired with my dad. We were asked to move out. I moved to my mums paid rent, moved my things from my friends house who had taken possession of my brand new property orchestrated by his mother. I was lucky to get what I could. In good faith, I went with what I got because I didn't even pay them to keep my things for me. I cut them off after. I cut so many people off from my life because most of them wanted money from me.
Now 4 years after I have been solely taking care of myself, looking for a job. I tried doing cab business, it failed, tried travelling out, I don't have anywhere to stay. With just 25000 in my account, i wont make it to 30. I have noone. The economy is not helping. I have applied for the most menial jobs and got turned away sometimes, the excuse was I am too butty for the job. Other times, I left in shame. The worst part is that I am a virgin. I can't have sex for money. I have been sucidial. What should I do Become a RUNS girl or kill myself. I was only seeking a more satisfying life as I have never been truly happy. I am drifting toward become a RUNS girl.
I know I would be judged for choosing to become a RUNS girl. I did the same too judging others. This is a personal decision inspired by my needs, certain and uncertain. This may not be a worthy statement but it is a genuine one. I have thought long and hard in deciding to follow my heart but I am in survival mode. I am ready to start a new life, one which I haven't been looking forward to or might just kill myself. I have come to understand life as with intelligence, it's better to be patient.

Heart wrenching story. What did you study? What city are you residing now? Don't do the runs thing; keep up your morale.

Be prayerful and don't give up hope.

Spirit1:
Heart wrenching story. What did you study? What city are you residing now? Don't do the runs thing; keep up your morale.

Be prayerful and don't give up hope.

I stopped praying and have lost all faith

Mathew 6vs 33

Please don't go down that path ooooo
No matter how dark the night is not cometh in the morning.....
Hold fast to God now my dear

Very funny!

Young lady, read your last sentence by yourself and there, you have the answer.

Didn't want to say anything but since I've already hit the reply button, I should just go ahead to ask, if you were a guy what will you do differently? Will becoming a runs girl be your option? Look at it from that angle.

Having a vagina is not an express ticket to amassing wealth.
#nuff said.

So what do you want us to do?
You obviously know that path you're contemplating isn't right...
So i ask again..
What do you want us to do?
Don't get people annoyed this afternoon /evening

Modified
Not even sure how 20,000 monthly can make you a millionaire in 4 years

Modified again
So you almost died because you were saving.
This thread just worsening my already bad mood
You have sense to save and almost die in the process only to buy car you don't need and rent house you dont need

If you wanna do runs do am na. Who send you?
Small money wey u manage get, you don't know how to use it. Mtscheew.

Life is in phases dear. You need to understand if there is life, there is hope.
I believe your current situation is to help shape your future. Most people don't know how to manage their first earnings. If I tell you what I have lost in life, you will know you still have reasons to be thankful to God.

Change your mentality and your views about life, everything that happened to you is not by accident at times the kind of friends we keep can lead us in many dangers or over expectation.

RUNS Girl? I laugh in Spanish, I think you will not be able to cope with that lifestyle because many things are involved.

Be positive because you are educated, opportunity can knock on your door any time. Don't lose hope in God because He knows everything, though things can be so bad but keep hoping better days are ahead. Many times I cry but honestly when I looked back, I do thank God. Have you been to hospitals lately? WILL YOU SAY THOSE PEOPLE DONT PRAY?

Who is this nobody? Your profile cannot be viewed. How did you do that?

But Why not summarise?