Hello Everyone, this is my first story on this forum. If lots of people enjoy this story when it's completed and give good reviews, I would post other short stories based on some of the characters to make it a series of short stories

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I never thought I would hear the words ‘shut up and drive’ unless I was blasting the Rihanna song while chilling with a bottle of something cold and struggling with my fried chicken on a Sunday afternoon, but alas the universe had other not so pleasant ideas.
The masked men jumped on me from nowhere and started shouting, ‘get in the car, where are your keys abi oleribu le le yi ni?’

Haaaa my own don end was the first thought that crossed my mind, I didn’t even remember to zip up my trousers… Did I forget to mention that it was 10 pm and I was just returning from Garki market where I sell assorted home appliances, beddings and curtains but I stopped by Gudu junction and entered the bush to urinate? If someone had told me that I would be robbed, I swear, I would have even urinated and defecated on my seat inside the car while speeding away to safety.

Suddenly I received a set of stinging slaps on my face which made me yell in fright.

“Mr. Man are you a mumu? An M.U.M.U?’ one of my attackers screamed at my face “You and everything you have are now our property, you belong to us, if I talk jump, you jump sharp sharp, if I talk sleep, you sleep sharp sharp, you hear?” Armed Robber number one shouted at me, in fact in my mind I abbreviated his name to ARnumber1

“Yes sir” I shouted while pressing my hand to my face, with all the slaps and random blows I had received, I guessed at that point, I would look unrecognizable to even my girlfriend Claro.

“Oya jump, up , up, jump, up , up, oya let us go for a drive” ARnumber 1 said and shoved me into the driver’s sit while he sat himself in front and the other 2 robbers entered at the back.
I would not pretend that I was stoic throughout this ordeal, tears were freely flowing down my face, i made sounds that rival a newborn wailing!

“I say shat up ya darty mouth and drive deadbody” The fair complextioned armed robber shouted as he repeatedly slapped the top of my head from the back sit. I nicknamed him Yellow paw paw.
“Yes sir!” I responded in an octave that would make SIMI (the songstress) jealous of the high notes I hit.
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First to gboriwole .
I can imagine the last line, imitiating simi
Intresting piece Op. Please continue

goldenruby:
First to gboriwole .
I can imagine the last line, imitiating simi
Intresting piece Op. Please continue

Thanks for reading and dropping a comment goldenruby, an update is coming later today just for ur kind words

Great story so far.. .

Oya do your odenshi now now

ttime:
Great story so far.. .

Oya do your odenshi now now

Thanks for reading and commenting ttime. Nnamdi's odenshi na only for mouth

Update please!!!!

I remembered my girlfriend Claro, that obviously wasn’t the name her parents christened her but she was a highly functional alcoholic and an avid prescription medication abuser. When questioned about her habits, she always responded with a quirky

‘You have to be high to commune with the most high’.

So, her friends dubbed her ‘Claro’ which caught on much quickly than her parent-given name Linda.

I met Claro a year and a half ago at her shop in Maitama. My cousin, Chinyere whom I fondly called Chin-Chin was having a picnic for her 25th birthday in Millennium park in Maitama . So, although I was running late, I still made a quick dash to shop for a birthday gift (Chineyere would never let me live down coming to her party empty handed). Chineyere was an avid reader of novels in the fantasy genre and with that in mind; I drove to a fashionably looking multicolored bookstore that sold assorted drinks (alcoholic, slushes, smoothies, coffee, yogurt, ice-cream etc.), confectionaries and a shisha bar.

I glanced around looking for a sale girl while also bemused by the ambiance of the store. It wasn’t every day you saw people sprawled and lounging on comfortable looking sofas in different relaxed positions drinking, smoking and reading. A lady approached me, waved and asked how she could be of assistance.

I would not deny that I was short of words for what felt like 5 minutes.

It wasn’t her great beauty that made my tongue seize. NO. It started out with her hair which was in 7 braids coloured as the rainbow! With her black lipstick (which I’ve since learned is Cyber by Mac) contrasting her very light complexion and with her rainbow rimmed eyeglasses and a black sleeveless flowing chiffon kaftan.

She looked classy though eccentric and atypical.

She saw my reaction and burst out laughing until she was clutching her ribs and trying not to choke up. At some point, I joined in the laughter because it was contagious and well, I couldn’t help myself.

“I sometimes have that effect on people” the lady said smiling. I smiled along, in fact, I found myself mirroring her actions, which was the easiest thing to do as my brain took a vacation at that moment.

“How can I assist you, what are you here for, a drink? a book? a smoke?” She said gesturing dramatically towards their respective sections in the shop.

“Well, how about your phone number first?” I laughed, that was really the only thing on my mind at the moment. I wanted to see more of this creature that could laugh with careless abandon during this present economic crisis.

“How about I attend to you first while I decide if I want to give my number to you?” she said as she moved her glasses to rest on her hair
“So, what will it be?” She asked with a smile

“Alright then, a fantasy novel for a 25 year old lady as a birthday gift” I said pointing to the shelves of books

“ Cool cool cool, this should be easy” the lady said eagerly rubbing her palms together “Do you know the books she has read before, you don’t want to buy something she already has” she said while sauntering towards the shelves

“She’s new to this genre, I guess she hasn’t read any of the non-mainstream authors” I told her , my brain had already resumed its function, thankfully. I watched as the lady went into her own world, murmuring while picking and dropping books haphazardly.

“Excuse me” I said tapping the lady and she looked at me for a full second like she didn’t know what I was doing there, then I saw the knowing look on her face when she realized that I was a customer.

“Call me Claro” she said smiling at me “I got so engrossed I forgot that I was looking for a book to sell and not to read” She laughed softly and winked. I laughed along though wondering how someone could get engrossed and mentally lost in a few minutes. (I’ve since learned that happens after she abuses ADHD medications).

Believe me when I say, nothing makes a person seize reminiscing faster than a heavy blow to the side of the head.

cc goldenruby, here's ur update
cc ttime, thanks for reading

(btw the book will soon come to an end, it's a short story after all)

“JESUS!” I shouted which prompted the thieves to land another 2 blows on my head. I immediately learned to swallow my screams.

“Shat up there he-goat” Armed robber Number 2 AKA yellow pawpaw shouted.
“Park the car now and come down for this dirty car” He continued shouting as the robbers came down from the car.

As I was coming down from the car, yellow pawpaw just snatched the car keys from me like it was jollof rice and then they began to strip me of my clothes, wallet, wristwatch, shoes , two phones, house key and shop key.

The only thing I had left on me was my boxers.

I, Nnamdi Njoku, could not recognize the road or bush way that I was standing in at this very point in time, It may have had something to do with the tears and catarrh that covered my face. As all the armed robbers zoomed off with my car, I still knelt down in the bush for about 20 minutes and when it did not feel like more blows would be forthcoming, I wiped my face with my arm and dusted my knees as I got up from the ground.

I had no money! every part of my body was hurting and i wasn’t sure where in Abuja I was, the only thing I perceived clearly were the stones digging into my bare feet and the smells of human waste emanating from the nearby bush.
I plugged my nose with my swollen fingers and began the trek towards the light that I could see at a distance while praying and pleading with all gods known to man that no one would decide to kidnap me for rituals, since I could barely defend myself.

One more post and this story is over guys! Let me know here if you'll like me to post other stories based around characters from this book.

Kontinu abeg!!

I didn’t even walk far before I recognized Madam Pumping’s bar as we fondly called the local pepper soup joint in my area of Kubwa, a little distance more and I noticed a few other local spots that were just beside the apartment that I was renting.

“AHHH” I shouted from the heavy slap that I gave myself trying to correct whatever the armed robber, yellow pawpaw, must have dislocated in my brain because I could see places that were just beside my apartment.

‘Did the thieves really just drop me off at my bus stop?’, I asked myself because I couldn’t believe it was true.

I cannot really tell you what happened next

I just found myself running towards my backyard and the next thing I knew, I was slapping and kicking the door to my apartment like a crazy person

“Haba. Who is making noise at this ungodly hour?” Claro said as she opened my door.
I knew just the moment when sleep disappeared from her eyes as she took in my appearance because just then, her jaw dropped and I could see panic in her eyes as she struggled for what to say.

“What happened to you? Where have you been? What’s wrong? Are you Okay?” Claro rushed her words together as she squeaked in alarm.
I just pushed her to one corner inside as I entered the house and locked my door.


“Babe, I don’t even know how to tell this story” I said as i curled into a ball on the floor and tried not to weep.

(The end : Nnamadi Njoku character )

I love this story dye

Osjaay:
I love this story dye

Wow thank you for the kind words, u just made my day

its got humour, action... I love this work bro.. Keep it up

Beautiful piece Op! I Look forward to more interesting stories from you. Don't forget to give me a mention.
Thumbs! *

Very well written and really interesting but too short for my liking!

I still want more, morer and morest!

Great job OP,now I can come and go and live in peace! Lol, you know Na!


Mods, please consider this story for FP, it's very short and funny, exactly how nairalanders like their stories,lol.

Op for your mind

i noticed you got the girl

Interesting and entertaining......[b][/b][color=#000099][/color]"As a fresh guy without pimples but of course dimples"

shadowzy:
My name is – and most likely soon to be was- Nnamdi Njoku and I am a graduate of the prestigious University of Lagos where I majored in financial accounting, I am 30 years old and i graduated university approximately 4years ago. I worked at a couple of private companies where my bosses planned to use even my soul to make profit including on weekends while not paying me properly. Shortly after, I gave up working for people and tried a couple of unsuccessful money making projects. In fact, I almost had a sugar mummy (As a fresh guy without pimples but of course dimples) but I decided to reduce the amount of regrets my future self would likely have by rejecting that line of work.

I told my parents about my desire to have a shop 2 years ago and that I would still be applying for better jobs even while running my business. They agreed and gave me the capital to startup the business.

As my life story was flashing before my eyes, the gunmen were still yelling insults about how they plan to dismember along with other obscenities while pointing out the directions I should take while driving.

I remembered long ago in University, my guys and I were talking about the things we would do if robbers attacked us .We were naming death defying Jet-Li skills that we would do and facing the nozzle of a gun with ODENSHI, I remembered that I even said I would just grab the gun and pop 2 bullets into the armed robbers and show him i am boss.

Where are you nawn OP

The story is very funny and very short pls more