I am not a regular poster but I have issues and I wish to hear people's view on it.
There is a friend of my husband,I am not close to his wife just hi hi stuff but my husband is very close to her husband,to cut the story short, we met at a friend's naming and a conversation started between us. I told her I would soon leave because I have a lot to do at home, and she said she is suppose to leave early too that she has clothes to wash too that her husband is not ready to go yet and he won't help her with the chores, so I said not all men helps at home but if you know how to persuade your man he would help you,I said men likes to be pet, that it's just wisdom we need as women to get things about marriage right. we just gisted about that and we departed
The following week my husband just came to ask me what I discussed with his friend's wife that I have cause fight between the couple,he said the wife told her husband that I said it's my husband that is doing the chores at home that her husband should go and cook for her, even said at times I pretend as if I am sick and allow my husband to do all the chores that her husband is not caring bla bla bla they fought seriously on the issue,and the guy came to report me to my husband that I am teaching his wife bad things and my husband told him I can never say such things, it nearly cause disagreement between them but as guys they just argued and ended it.
But I felt so bad because I never said such things, we just talked generally about guys helping out at home and how we women can make our men help us at home, my husband do help me at home a lot and I felt that would make him feel I am taking him for granted and also make him reduce his assistance at home,Infact I started wondering on all the things I said because I ddnt give her any advice Sorry for my long story story, please tell me how I was wrong.

You were not wrong from your story.

You have however just found out she's not someone you can chat with about anything personal.

Your discussions with her should be as it used to be, hi hi. How's the weather and nothing else. Your husbands being close doesn't automatically mean you guys have to be close.

Just kwantinu your romance with your hubby, and always try to keep whatever you do for yourselves as a couple between yourselves.

Even if your husband washes your undies for you or buys a house for you, keep it to yourself.

You didn't do anything wrong,you just met a woman who lacked tact.

Don't worry about them just live your life and mind your family.Keep your relationship 'hi hi' with her.

jewelflakky16:

... To answer your question as to what you did wrong, absolutely nothing. All you did was have a woman to woman conversation with your husband friend's wife. It's obvious it wasn't your intention to cause any disruption between the couple, so in my opinion you can't be held liable for whatever the naive women chose to do with your simple and honest suggestion. So just let it go.
But tip for next time, don't be so quick to share things about your marriage to someone you just met. Maybe if you had known the kind of person the woman was, you would have exercised a little discretion. Its seems to me this other lady isn't matured enough to have taken things up in such a way with her husband.

The woman though ... This goes to show some people take what they read/hear seriously, whether true or false..

Some people may be attacking their spouses cos of what they read on nairaland, funny


People should learn to be content with their choices while striving to make it better (if possible), in a healthy way..

My first impression was that you gave her unsolicited advice. She mentioned that her husband doesn't help with chores and you went on a marital counselling rampage.

My second impression is that you two were just having ordinary girl talk and that you meant no harm.

Stay away from this woman. Keep it friendly but formal.

And look out for people who know how to have fun.

jewelflakky16:
I am not a regular poster but I have issues and I wish to hear people's view on it.
There is a friend of my husband,I am not close to his wife just hi hi stuff but my husband is very close to her husband,to cut the story short, we met at a friend's naming and a conversation started between us. I told her I would soon leave because I have a lot to do at home, and she said she is suppose to leave early too that she has clothes to wash too that her husband is not ready to go yet and he won't help her with the chores, so I said not all men helps at home but if you know how to persuade your man he would help you,I said men likes to be pet, that it's just wisdom we need as women to get things about marriage right. we just gisted about that and we departed
The following week my husband just came to ask me what I discussed with his friend's wife that I have cause fight between the couple,he said the wife told her husband that I said it's my husband that is doing the chores at home that her husband should go and cook for her, even said at times I pretend as if I am sick and allow my husband to do all the chores that her husband is not caring bla bla bla they fought seriously on the issue,and the guy came to report me to my husband that I am teaching his wife bad things and my husband told him I can never say such things, it nearly cause disagreement between them but as guys they just argued and ended it.
But I felt so bad because I never said such things, we just talked generally about guys helping out at home and how we women can make our men help us at home, my husband do help me at home a lot and I felt that would make him feel I am taking him for granted and also make him reduce his assistance at home,Infact I started wondering on all the things I said because I ddnt give her any advice Sorry for my long story story, please tell me how I was wrong.

Your fault is clear.

It is: this is your side of the story, and in ones side of the story, one rarely says the part where one is wrong.


Have ever seen where 2 people have an issue and the wrong one in reporting to an arbiter says that he was at fault or tells the issue exactly as it happened?

jewelflakky16:
even said at times I pretend as if I am sick and allow my husband to do all the chores

Op, do you do this or not? ?

[quote author=PresVA post=47856392] Op, do you do this or not? ?
No I don't make u too no go report me to my husby

That's one thing with information.You have to give it out in bits and quantum depending on the receivers capacitor.

Disciple yourself against the urge to cast pearls to pigs.

When you keep to yourself, they will say you are proud. And when you try to become a little chatty, they will still find something to pin on you..

Stay away from her, she lacks tact and wisdom..