While there are many secrets to getting along with the love of your life during the ugly, tense, and smelly times, the number one thing you should embrace is the ability to just let stuff go. “You have to choose between being right or being happy," says Claudia Six, Ph.D. "Happy couples let go of being right." That good old "forgive and forget" mechanism is a majorly necessary component to any successful long-term relationship because it allows us to prioritize the future, instead of getting stuck in the past.
Below are six things happy couples always let go of:

1. Who's doing More:


Happy couples work as a team. They do not compete against each other. They don't argue about the small stuff like who washed the plates last night or who contributed more money to the upkeep of the house this month. they have a common goal and understanding of working together to live their best lives possible.

2. The Past stays in the Past.

Often in relationships, we tend to compare our current partner to a past lover, which can result in developing forms of insecurities, inadequacies, and ineffectiveness in moving forward. If one wants to truly enjoy their current situation and remain happy, one has to effectively let go of any past situations. You keep imagining what your yoruba boyfriend would have done different from your warri husband or what your bini wife lacks that your calabar girlfriend always gave you. You are looking for trouble. Allow your partner be their own person. That was why you married them wasn't it?

3. The need to be in contact 24/7

Allow your partner to breath. People had happy relationships before the internet and mobile phones and social media. You will have so much more to talk about at the end of the day if you haven't dragged the person through your day with text messages and incessant calls. When you are together, shut the world out for a while. Silencing your cell phone lets the other person know that they are the most important thing in your life right now.

4. Bad news about marriages

Happy couples give no credence to the stereotypical putdowns of husbands and wives that are often featured in pop culture. They love each other and don’t seek to belittle, disrespect, or poke fun at each other like they may see on TV or nollywood. If you’re not already aware of how common it is for marriage to be the brunt of many bad jokes and sadistic news, begin to notice the subtle and not so subtle messages about marriage you may be viewing on a daily basis.

5. The Need for Secrecy

Let go of privacy. I'm not talking about using the restroom with the door wide open, but rather being completely transparent with your mate. And unless your mate has given you a valid reason to doubt their loyalty, trust that there are no secrets between you. True intimacy has no secrets.

6. Fights with In-Laws

You really don’t like your partner’s parents. So what? Happy couples know that they’re not going to change their imperfect in-laws, and they put the relationship they have with their partner and the partner's parents in perspective. Finding a sense of humor, as well as effective boundaries, are great ways to have a happy relationship by letting go of the fact that you just don’t like his or her parents too much. Inasmuch as his mother in law might appear overbearing, realize that she is family now and unless she literally floats in the air and cackles like a witch, she deserves love and respect too.

Source: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/happy-couples-let-go-of

True talk, but inlaws cn b a pain in d neck atymz...

canDy4eva:
True talk, but inlaws cn b a pain in d neck atymz...

Yes they can but so can brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. The trick is to take them all in your stride and realise that at the end of the day what really matters is the relationship between u and your husband.

True talk!

...Wot abt an instance whr a mum-inlaw hz a beef wit her son but empties it on her daugher-inlaw n went as far as cursing her..??

Wot should b d girls reaction?

RiloKiley:


Yes they can but so can brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. The trick is to take them all in your stride and realise that at the end of the day what really matters is the relationship between u and your husband.

canDy4eva:
True talk!

...Wot abt an instance whr a mum-inlaw hz a beef wit her son but empties it on her daugher-inlaw n went as far as cursing her..??

Wot should b d girls reaction?

Like the article said, somtimes u have to choose between being right and being happy. When we look back at some of what our parents did to us we realise that in some instances we were right and were actually punished unjustly. But because they were our parents we let it go. We took it without complaining. For the fact that the woman is older than you and your husband's mother, you can accord her that respect (and respect your husband in the process)by ignoring her and letting the matter rest. If you feel so hurt about it you can tell your husband later when u both are alone.

Wow!

Tnkx a bunch...

RiloKiley:


Like the article said, somtimes u have to choose between being right and being happy. When we look back at some of what our parents did to us we realise that in some instances we were right and were actually punished unjustly. But because they were our parents we let it go. We took it without complaining. For the fact that the woman is older than you and your husband's mother, you can accord her that respect (and respect your husband in the process)by ignoring her and letting the matter rest. If you feel so hurt about it you can tell your husband later when u both are alone.

expensive

RiloKiley:


Like the article said, somtimes u have to choose between being right and being happy. When we look back at some of what our parents did to us we realise that in some instances we were right and were actually punished unjustly. But because they were our parents we let it go. We took it without complaining. For the fact that the woman is older than you and your husband's mother, you can accord her that respect (and respect your husband in the process)by ignoring her and letting the matter rest. If you feel so hurt about it you can tell your husband later when u both are alone.

This takes the grace of God my brother, it's not easy I tell you