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Single but Living Married (Part 1, Episode 1)
“You see snakie, u need to go to the university, dont be deceived by the money that’s coming your way now, you will have plenty of money when you graduate. As for the girls, there are many of them in the university. Big, small, thin, fat, dark or light skinned…you will get them plentiful. ….just try and gain admission and you will see that girls will start coming your way unlike this one you are disturbing yourself with presently”……..(My uncle advise)
I was surprised hearing from my uncle who graduated from the university two years earlier that I will get enough girls to bleep once I gain admission into the university….”so, na how babes plenty 4 those university b dis? Then I must gain admission for me to get enuf bleeping” I said to myself…
Fastforward to some months after, I already passed my jamb and eventually gained admission after my name came out on the final list. This was not after we knew somebody that knows someone and connected us to somebody that knows the right person and was able to give tips to that right person before my name came out…..This was more reason I was frustrated about university in the first place cos how will u explained someone that scored 253 in jamb and had all his SSCE result completed but still has to tip someone before he could gain admission.
A night before my first day in school, my mother called me to advise me…… (I will say this in yoruba and translate)
“snakie, eti e melo…”meji ni ma”…..kilo fi nse….”mo fi ngboro ni ma”…….jhoor oko mi, owo oniru, owo oniyo ati owo alata la fe fi ran e lo si ile iwe…..to ba de skool, ranti omo eni to nse, ma kegbe kegbe, ma rin rin kurin, iwe e ni ko koju mo…..eyi to se pataki ju nipe, ma kobinrin, ma ba won ni girlfriend kaakiri, koju mo iwe e….even to ba ma lobinrin, eyokan ti to e, de je ki nmo……oko mi, sori awa obinrin, idi o yato sidi ooo, oju ni gbogbo eyin okunrin ma ndo, eyin okunrin le ni orisirisi oko but iho kan na lowa lara awa obinrin……..so, ma tele oju kiri, to ba ti nikan, gbamu daada ko de ma tele fine face kaakiri”…….”mo ti gbo ma, e seun ma”
Meaning…….”Snakie, hw many ears do u have…”two ma”…what are they mearnt for?…”to listen ma”…my son, the money we are using to send you to school is from our hard earned sweat, when you get to school, pls remember the child of whom you are, dont join bad gangs, dont go to where you are not suppose to be, focus on your book pls and the most important thing is that you should never follow girls….even if you want to have girlfriend, one is okay for you and you can let me know her, you know one thing aboug girls is that, our pussy are not different from each other, its faces that you guys bleep (u see different fine girls and u want to bleep her but in reality its the same pussy she has that your girlfriend have too), we are not like you guys that have different sizes of dickson, all ladies have just one hole….pls my son, dont follow face and be bleeping all around, when you get the perfect person pls be ohk with her my son……”thank you ma, have heard all what you said and I wont disappoint you ma.”…I replied”
Omo-Ola

Single but Living Married (Part 1, Episode 2)
My mind was like a tabula rasa when I resumed school, I knew I was a brilliant student way back in my secondary school days but after waiting over four years for admission, everytyn has disappeared. ….school started smoothly and I was coming from home to school as my school had no hostel way back then, I mingled with so many people in school just because all freshers received faculty course in the same hall while departmental courses were taken once in a while.
As time goes on, I started getting to know people from my facaulty and eeoartment but not so close to any1 aside Bola who we always go home together in the same bus even though we don’t leave in the same area….didnt take long b4 I got use to bola. From going home together, we started mingling in school, keeping seat for each other during lectures, hanging around all the time.
I was trying to cope with school activities and assignments were coming in without having idea of how to go about it but thanks to segun who was my helping hand. Segun has been a friend since my primary school days and he was the headboy in our secondary school…he was already in 300level studing elect/elect in another university in the state. Every night, I come home with my assignment, dashed to segun’s house in the get assignments solved, take it to school the following day and bola will b the first to copy assignment from me before any other person. I tend to always sort segun out every weekend with recharge cards.
Like play like play, people started noticing me as the first person to solve any assignment relating to calculations and some tend to always come and ask me for my assignment. I became a bit popular among girls and some guys. This made them to start challenging me to explain solutions to them including Bola. Only if they knew the person that has been helping me out was Segun, Bola always make shakara as her close pal was the one everybody always wanted to learn from……I don enter am as I no fit derep nor belittle mysef…..
I realized I needed to buckle up and moreover segun has been helping me with assignment, how will I do it during exams and people are already expecting more from me.
Me: How far sege
Segun: U get another assignment?
Me:Yes…….
Segun: wey my recharge card first,
Me:c as u dey talk..who u dey call sef cos I no even sure say u get girlfriend
Segun:Just bring am…..This one na 1k oooo..wetyn happen
Me:wetyn happen b say, after you help me with the assignment, you will explain everytyn to me and make me understand
Segun: why nau…
Me:na wetyn I want b dat
Segun: Ohk…no problem
That was how I started receiving classes from Segun too…he explained to me while I go to school and teach people, I realized that was what I could have done earlier in the semester but it was already late as exam was fast approaching……I sat for my exam, result came out and my GPA was 1.35………….I realized there was need for me to focus more in other for me to achieve my goal of graduating with a good grade.

To be Continued...

Single but Living Married (Part 1, Episode 3)
It was a Monday afternoon and I decided to surprise Bola one day and told her to let us visit a place before going home which she agreed…We got to the place and opened the door of a flat
Me: Welcome to my hostel Bola
Bola: Your what? You are not serious
Me:Am serious…..i moved in over the weekend, u know have always been telling you now but I never knew it will be this fast
Bola:But we talked over the weekend, why didn’t u tell me
Me:I wanted to make it a surprise
Bola: Hmmmmm…so, you and who will be staying here
Me:Alone except you want to move over
Bola:Me ke? If my boyfriend catche u ehn…
Me: And my own girlfriend go dey look u like mumu
Bola:I know u wont allow her do anytyn to me now
Me: And same here to your boy friend too
Bola:lolzzz…..Ile atura oooo
Me:Amin ooo..so, lemme prepare something for you to eat before going home atleast for the first time
Bola:Don’t worry, I have things to catch up with, we can do this tomorrow, I only have one faculty lecture for 9am after which I will be free then we can come home together
Me:No problem, i have departmental course for 10am and I believe we should be through by 12am then we can leave for house then.
Bola:No problem, you can come and see me off.
That was how I saw her off and expecting to see her the following day for a nice moments together…………….
We finished as early as noon the following day, it took me more than an hour before I was able to locate Bola who told me she was already at the gate waiting for me…I met her there and we took bus to my hostel…we got in, she dropped her bag and brought out something from another bag she was holding…
Bola:u see your life, u no even get anytyn for house to eat
Me:wetyn make I do now…I moved in over the weekend
Bola: where your pot dey jhoor and lets go to the kitchen
I never believed Bola had already gone to the nearby market close to our school, brought food stuffs to prepare for me. We went to the kitchen together, prepared stew and she later boiled rice…..We eat to the fullest, watch film and gist about so many things . we got a bit personal and knew so many things about her. She told me her parent will never allow her to stay in the hostel. She was the only girl and the last born. Daughter of the house. Nepa struck as usual and we both laid on bed and started talking all over again.
We both slept off and woke up around 4pm before she decided to make her way home…I asked if she really wanted to stay in the hostel and she said she will prefer her freedom then I told her she can always come and rest in my hostel everyday and go home late so that she can use that as excuse for them to see reason with her to secure an hostel close to the school. “What a nice idea” she said.

To be Continued...