The guy was crazily in love with the GF and just when they decided to settle down and get married, they find out they couldn't . . for health reasons.

Now the guy's heart-broken and the girl too! The love each other but they know they have to move on.

The girl's gone ahead decided to try out sth with a few of her 'suitors' . . the guy too is desperately searching for someone to fill in the empty space created by the girl.

Then he meets you and is like . . . 'I want you to be the one'

Now you know, he still loves his ex but you know they can never be together and you actually stand a chance to get his total love . .

Will you stay and help him tru his heartberak, and bear some of those awkward moments when he'll 'mistakenly' call you his ex's name or when he goes like . . . 'she'll be coming over this weekend, can you pls not come around'?

No way. He will start comparing everything I do to her, he will say Grace always does it like this or that. I wouldnt want to be second best so I will bow out gracefully.

LOL

Well you are right! But what if he's really willing to try and you beleive you can do better than his ex

My dear even if you can believe you can do better, that doesnt change the fact that he is in love with someone else especially if they are still in contact.
I dont think it would work out because the girl will become jealous and insecure.

everyone still hangs on to the previous r/s,
but there is a time limit to which that can be accomodated.
if he doesn't change then, i suggest u go.

and in this ur case, what says they would not still be seeing each other behind their present partners!
no gaurantees, so maybe its best u dont even try atall.

Ebonyeyes:

My dear even if you can believe you can do better, that doesnt change the fact that he is in love with someone else especially if they are still in contact.
I dont think it would work out because the girl will become jealous and insecure.

Pers

Hmmn

izeek:

everyone still hangs on to the previous r/s,
but there is a time limit to which that can be accomodated.
if he doesn't change then, i suggest u go.

and in this your case, what says they would not still be seeing each other behind their present partners!
no gaurantees, so maybe its best u dont even try atall.

Nothing is guaranteed except that he can NEVER get back with his ex.

To me, that's worth a shot. The fact that the guy is finally willing to try another relationship is a good thing!

so u dont mind not being sure he is stiill seeing her on the side, as long as u are the legit mrs?

izeek:

so u dont mind not being sure he is stiill seeing her on the side, as long as u are the legit mrs?

Funny!

Even guys without exes still cheat. Nobody going into any r/ship can guaranty that the guy will NEVER cheat! It's all a risk right?

sorry to disapoint, but its not.

why marry when you know there is the possibility of ur hubby wandering.

i tot the main reason u married him aside love is trust and loyalty.

if he fails u then its something u should frown at.

on what health grounds did they break up? amswer that before u start worrying about trying him out first.

smooooooth:

on what health grounds did they break up? amswer that before u start worrying about trying him out first.

They are both AS!

izeek:

sorry to disapoint, but its not.

why marry when you know there is the possibility of your hubby wandering.

i tot the main reason u married him aside love is trust and loyalty.

if he fails u then its something u should frown at.

But they are talking of just dating, not marrige!

His heart is somewhere else. That would bug me the hell out.

Ujujoan:

They are both AS!

oh ok, then i think its worth a try, time will definately erase the past and both parties will forget each other. and u are bound to get fond of your new partners as u get to spend time 2geder and know each other.

Ebonyeyes:

His heart is somewhere else. That would bug me the hell out.

I broke up with my ex because of this same AS thing, so more than anyoda person, I know how hard it is to let someone you love go just like that! But with my ex, I've come to realize that there's no going back. We just had to say goodbye!

I'd hurt me to see him with someone else but life goes on right?

We'd prolly love each oda for the rest of our lives, but the fact that we cant get married has made it neccessary that we try to love other people.

If I meet a guy who I think is right for me, I'll give him that chance and move on with him, and I'm sure my ex will do same.

Now this guy is prolly going tru the same thing right now, but dont you think all it takes is someone right for him to get over his ex!  

smooooooth:

oh ok, then i think its worth a try, time will definately erase the past and both parties will forget each other. and u are bound to get fond of your new partners as u get to spend time 2geder and know each other.

Yea, that's what I thought too.

Ujujoan:

I broke up with my ex because of this same AS thing, so more than anyoda person, I know how hard it is to let someone you love go just like that! But with my ex, I've come to realize that there's no going back. We just had to say goodbye!

I'd hurt me to see him with someone else but life goes on right?

We'd prolly love each oda for the rest of our lives, but the fact that we cant get married has made it neccessary that we try to love other people.

If I meet a guy who I think is right for me, I'll give him that chance and move on with him, and I'm sure my ex will do same.

Now this guy is prolly going tru the same thing right now, but dont you think all it takes is someone right for him to get over his ex!  

The guys is not healed and cant carry the luggage to the next relationship. I think he should remain single for a while.

Ebonyeyes:

The guys is not healed and cant carry the luggage to the next relationship. I think he should remain single for a while.

Hmmmn MAybe you are right!

But does it ever go away. There are somethings you dont let go, you just deal with them!

Ujujoan:

Hmmmn MAybe you are right!

But does it ever go away. There are somethings you dont let go, you just deal with them!

Time they say heals all wounds.

I would advise you to be patient with him; because with time he would get over her and love you. So relax.

I think u can
date him if u love so much nd u beleive he wil get ova it wit time

If a man is still in love with his EX, I think you need to just move on! If you're both meant to be im certain things will work out at a later time when things are a bit calm. You don't want to be a rebound or a jump off type girl.

Everything you do, he will compare you with his EX and thats definitely hellish, if you ask me!


If he keeps his friendship with his EX open and is not answering her phone calls in secret maybe there's a chance but a secretive friendship with his EX can lead to lots of trouble. Like the girl who calls from blocked/restricted numbers at 2/3am in the morning, Y U CK !

No. Torture for both of us, it would be.

i refuse to be used as a consolation price

na so I see am o

y me:

i refuse to be used as a consolation price

Also as a hanging towel

Ebonyeyes:

The guys is not healed and cant carry the luggage to the next relationship. I think he should remain single for a while.

sound reasonable, bt u should also knw tht da more lonely
he is.da more his gon b thinkin abt da gurl..^{(so nat a best advice to giv)}

@ post
i dnt think he nid a gurl to date @ dis time, he shud jst go out
meetin nu female friends,hang out more, thts gonna take his
mind off da ex & can see da fun side of others which can lead to
feelings.^girrit?
so, ma best advice 4 him is--go out meet nu foes,nat avin da mind
of findin luv,bt 4 da fun of it(friend), I bet he wil surely find sum1
real amng those nu gurls,
ma 2cent

NOOOOO. It will only hurt your relationship with him because he will compare you to her and want to talk to her and so on. It will cause jealousy and anger. Make sure he's over her before he starts something with you. You can help him with that

Nope, cause my brain would interprete it as 'babe, u can have my body,my money but u can't have my heart cause it belongs to my ex' and that is baaaad competition 'cos u may likely lose. The guy should take sometime to heal his broken heart

yah

Oh gosh!! Some ladies can be so lazy even to build up trust and love.
The love that existed in his first relationship was as a result of hardwork from the both parties.
It took them time, months and probably years to build such a strong love and trust. It took them tolerance and endurance for such love to exist.
And some ladies thinks he can jst jump into love with them over night.
If the guy was so open to tell you the truth means he is ready to give you a chance to build up another love. And and i see it as an act of laziness running away from such an opportunity.

This is a man that genuine loved b4 and can genuinely love again. We all know that is hard to fine, as many ladies prefer a man who can promise them true love at first sight. A true relationship is not jst that easy to built and if the man tells you 'oh i easily got over the past', then u need to run coz he has no value for relationship. We are all human and we know how we feel when we lost what is precious to us.

If we believe that love is the true foundation of every relationship, then it must start from the scratch ,and such situation give u the opportunity to start up that foundation.If the mans heart is being won at last he will be come yours forever. Who knows, he might finally love you more than the Ex. but this time don't make the same mistake, go for blood test to check your compatibility b4 it becomes too late.