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10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends - Romance - Nairaland

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10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Bekwarra(m): 10:44am On Sep 01, 2016
There is a set of guys we popularly call assistant boyfriends. Just like the name suggests they are assistants to the real boyfriends. Some people might mistake it for a friend zoned guy but they are different. An assistant boyfriend is the mid-point between the real bobo and the one who has a duplex in friend zone avenue. The type of assistant boyfriend a guy is and the level of smartness will determine whether he becomes the main bobo or the friend-zoned one.
Assistant boyfriends are important to most ladies because they play active and decisive roles to them and like I opined earlier, an assistant boyfriend has a good chance of upgrading to the main guy or downgrading to a friend-zoning. ABF as I will refer to it subsequently is not as good as being the main bobo but it's definitely better than being in friend zone. One thing I want us to note is that many of us have been ABFs at different times. While some of us have ended up as main guys some among us also have become BOT chairmen as friend zone corporation. For others in multiple relationships, you might be a main guy in one and ABF in another.

Here are the 10 types of ABFs from my observations.
1. ABF Finance
He is the Dangote and Bill Gate rolled into one. The real money bag so to say. He's in charge of all her finances. The wicked ladies might want to refer to him as "maga" or "mugu" but that's unfair because bros is only being generous. Whenever she wants to pay her school fees, rent a new apartment, pay her rent that's due or go on a shopping spree, his name is the one that pops up in her head. He's the financier and caters for her financial needs. If he's smart enough he might get more than the hugs and kisses and get to visit Aso Rock Villa but you can never tell with some guys. Dear lady are you feeling broke? Please look for an ABF Finance.

2. ABF Emotional Affairs
He's in charge of emotional matters. He's most susceptible to ending up in a friend zone. He's very close to the lady and also a confidante but that's also his albatross. He's knows everything that goes up in her relationship and acts as the chief adviser. He also advises her on who to date and who not to. You'll always hear things like "Wristbangle see David has started again o, he's no longer picking my calls" or "Tosyne2much can you believe Akin used another girl's picture as his dp?" Or "smellymouth do you know that cute guy in our department? He just asked me out, should I tell him yes? Whenever she has issues with her bf or gets heartbroken, it's the work of the ABF Emotional Affairs to provide emotional support; a shoulder to cry on. In fact some go the extent of having the contact of the main nigga and act as mediators whenever there's a conflict. I was once in this category with a girl but in my own case a shoulder to cry on became a deek to ride on.

3. ABF Religious Affairs
He's the brother in the lord. They are mostly Bro David, Bro Samuel and Bro Joshua. Bros sees her as the one whom God might have chosen for him but she sees him as just her brother in the lord. On campus, he's always coming to share tracts and devotionals with her. They read and study the bible together. They pray together. In fact if she has problems, bros sometimes to join her in fasting or even fast on her behalf. But because of his religious creed, he cannot even ask her out straight up. They are both workers in the fellowship and while Bro John hopes and pray God opens her eyes to see him as her dream husband, sister Rebecca continues going off campus to spend the weekend with Lalasticlal.a the main guy. At home, they know him in her house as the brother who comes every evening to do voice training with sister Hannah and discuss biblical issues with her. They know that every Sunday morning Bro Rasaq must come to their house to remind Sister Balqiz that they will be going for Nasfat prayers that morning.

4. ABF Stomach Infrastructure
Like the name suggests, he's responsible for stomach affairs. She remembers him whenever she goes hungry. He's the one that takes her out for meals, buys her snacks and drinks. Whenever she feels like taking peppersoup and malt on a friday night, his name comes into remembrance. You'll hear things like "and I feel like eating Shawarma oooo. Ok let me call kinglekan" I know many of these guys back on campus then. They are always ready to take the girls out to Tantalizers, Spices to take peppersoup and sminrnoff or to eat Amala Skye bank in Bodija with assorted meat yet they can't buy even one bottle of Satzenbrau for their guys. At the end of it all na ordinary hug u go collect as thank you while she uses the energy given to her buy the food you bought to ride the main nigga to heaven.

5. ABF Repairs and Maintenance
Baba is always the one responsible for repairs and maintenance of household items. If you fall under this category, you know yourself. You are always remembered when her wall socket gets burnt, she wants to change the bulb, her wristwatch suddenly stops working, her laptop needs to be reformatted, her small tiger gen is refusing to start or her extension bo blew off, then you fall under this category. Well December is almost here and she wants to repaint her room, bro go and get some of your clothes you no longer wear, change into them and grab the goddamn paint container and brush abeg.

80 Likes 15 Shares

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by curvysola(f): 10:45am On Sep 01, 2016
cheesy you try

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Bekwarra(m): 10:46am On Sep 01, 2016
6. ABF Defence and Strategy
These ones are the defenders of the universe both online and offline. Whenever she posts a picture or write up on facebook or instagram. They are there to give her multiple likes and give her sweet comments. If anybody tries to give a negative comment on her, they go berserk launching missiles, grenades and nuclear weapons. On campus they are always there following her about as security guards. If the lady is the saucy type that can yab a dead man back to life, it is the ABF Defence and Strategy she runs to after finnaly getting her cup full and abusing those stronger than her father. You will hear her running and shouting at the same time "mrcork oooo I don abuse some mad guys o abeg come threaten them with your range rover"

7. ABF Logistics
He's the on in charge of logistics. He follows her to the bank to deposit or withdraw, she wants to collect a new atm card, he'll escort her, her line has been blocked and wants a retrieval, he's there with her. She wants a new apartment, he'll be the one to go and scout, find the agent and caretaker, get painters and electricians to fix the apartment. He's the one to help her copy assignment, he will go online, finish the assignment, type it, print it and spiral bind. He'll do 80% of her final project. Get the "engineer" to repair the faulty gen, go to dstv office to help her pay for subscription, take her gas cylinder out for refilling, help her get a carpenter to repair the kitchen cabinet, take her laptop for repairs. Baba is everywhere at every time.

8. ABF Miscellaneous
Baba is in charge of recharge cards, data subscription, subscription for dstv, lawma fees, money for fuel, buying of a new charger and earpiece after the old one got burnt, buying of new bulbs and wall sockets, refilling the gas cylinder, new cartons of noodles and provisions. Baba is not as financially buoyant as ABF Finance so he can't be burdened with the major expenses so the minor ones go to him because he's either a civil servant or his daily earnings come from baba Ijebu or bet9ja. Once her dstv sub expires, she picks up the phone and call "HungerBad dear please my dstv subscription just finished and I must watch Saloni and Married Again tonight, baby please help me out" or "Vizkiz! sweetie my gas has finished o and I was planning to cook for you this weekend o. How are we going to do it now? And the thing is just 3800"

9. ABF kpanshing
Baba has nothing to offer other than his long and rigid tool and also his strength and virility in bed. Baba gives her multiple orgazms due to the rough and hard way he handles her in bed. Baba blows her out and knocks her off every time they tango in bed. The match always looks like a Chelsea vs Atletico Madrid match. She always leaves for home satisfied. Although they might not be emotionally attached but she doesn't joke with baba as nobody does it better than him.

10. ABF General Secretariat.
Baba is the jack of all trades and master of all. He multi-tasks all the above roles together with to much expertise. The ultimate utility player whose versatility is second to none. He's the closest thing to the main guy and might end up becoming one.

Do you think this list is complete or I should have added or remove some? Kindly show your opinions in your comments.

137 Likes 23 Shares

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by dollyjoy(f): 10:48am On Sep 01, 2016
Eeeewwwwwwwwu!shocked
Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by obiorathesubtle: 10:53am On Sep 01, 2016
If she has an itchy vagina, she go get P.A to the girlfriend on 69, cowstyle, missionary, and doggy affairs..

1 Like

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by freebreezeyz(m): 11:14am On Sep 01, 2016
OP ur post is truly unique and accurate!! weldone!!! Some peeps while reading am sure would have already placed themselves where they belong!
You were really funny tho!@''Use all their energy gotten from free food to ride their main guys to heaven''! hehehehe!

23 Likes

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Lahotte(m): 11:17am On Sep 01, 2016
Funny tho...

Even your boo get a boo.

6 Likes

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Bekwarra(m): 11:18am On Sep 01, 2016
freebreezeyz:
OP ur post is truly unique and accurate!! weldone!!! Some peeps while reading am sure would have already placed themselves where they belong!
You were really funny tho!@''Use all their energy gotten from free food to ride their main guys to heaven''! hehehehe!
Some ladies are wicked nah. Chop ur food finish, give u thank u hug, collect transport money and go to the main guy to ride him.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by kinglekan: 2:07pm On Sep 01, 2016

Wetin my moniker dey find for ABF Stomach Infrastructure?

Do I look like the Minister of Agriculture? grin grin

Fantastic Write Up Op....Thumbs up

24 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by kinglekan: 2:19pm On Sep 01, 2016
Bekwarra:


5. ABF Repairs and Maintenance
Baba is always the one responsible for repairs and maintenance of household items. If you fall under this category, you know yourself. You are always remembered when her wall socket gets burnt, she wants to change the bulb, her wristwatch suddenly stops working, her laptop needs to be reformatted, her small tiger gen is refusing to start or her extension bo blew off, then you fall under this category. Well December is almost here and she wants to repaint her room, bro go and get some of your clothes you no longer wear, change into them and grab the goddamn paint container and brush abeg.

This one almost got me shedding tears! grin grin grin.. Gehs are pure evil

JeffreyJamez come see your ministry ooo! Mr FixIT grin grin grin

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by JeffreyJamez(m): 2:34pm On Sep 01, 2016
kinglekan:


This one almost got me shedding tears! grin grin grin.. Gehs are pure evil

JeffreyJamez come see your ministry ooo! Mr FixIT grin grin grin



Guy!.....I just evaluate my existence right now cry cry cry cry cry.....I know how many I don be No 2 for! cry cry cry....na life be this? cry cry

26 Likes

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Nobody: 2:35pm On Sep 01, 2016
kinglekan:

Wetin my moniker dey find for ABF Stomach Infrastructure?

Do I look like the Minister of Agriculture? grin grin

Fantastic Write Up Op....Thumbs up

hahahahaha. You are Fayose's heir grin cheesy



Some are All but #9. They do all yet never get to kpansh. Too bad.

Girls bad

8 Likes

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Nobody: 2:46pm On Sep 01, 2016
Op...

4 Likes

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Bekwarra(m): 2:47pm On Sep 01, 2016
kinglekan:

Wetin my moniker dey find for ABF Stomach Infrastructure?

Do I look like the Minister of Agriculture? grin grin

Fantastic Write Up Op....Thumbs up


Minister of Agriculture loooool. Ayaf die. But baba you know how many times wey u don buy shawarma na.

1 Like

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by kinglekan: 2:47pm On Sep 01, 2016
JeffreyJamez:



Guy!.....I just evaluate my existence right now cry cry cry cry cry.....I know how many I don be No 2 for! cry cry cry....na life be this? cry cry

Nor be only u bro! After i watch that "Igodye joke" i just dey think my life cry cry cry cry cry

1 Like

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by kinglekan: 2:49pm On Sep 01, 2016
Jacksparr0w127:
hahahahaha. You are Fayose's heir grin cheesy



Some are All but #9. They do all yet never get to kpansh. Too bad.

Girls bad

Hahahahaha...fayose indeed cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Chaii.. Bois dey suffer ooo.

Na person go be ABF defence and strategy aka Minister of Defence... Olorun o ni jekin shoribu laye ti mowa cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by tosyne2much(m): 2:50pm On Sep 01, 2016
This is a brilliant write-up by oga Bekwarra... I dey come make I add my own cool
Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Bekwarra(m): 2:50pm On Sep 01, 2016
kinglekan:


This one almost got me shedding tears! grin grin grin.. Gehs are pure evil

JeffreyJamez come see your ministry ooo! Mr FixIT grin grin grin

An average guy has been at least five ABFs. Only God can save son of man. Wetin love of kittycat go do us ehn.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by charijee(f): 2:54pm On Sep 01, 2016
JeffreyJamez:



Guy!.....I just evaluate my existence right now cry cry cry cry cry.....I know how many I don be No 2 for! cry cry cry....na life be this? cry cry
Make i follow you cry cry cry cry cry cry
cry cry cry cry cry cry


Kinglekan, stop making this young guy shed tears! cry

1 Like

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by naijaboiy: 2:55pm On Sep 01, 2016
Surely every guy must be in one or more of the categories listed above, except he's not into girls at all.

10 Likes

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by kinglekan: 3:01pm On Sep 01, 2016
Bekwarra:


Minister of Agriculture loooool. Ayaf die. But baba you know how many times wey u don buy shawarma na.

All they have to do is form sexy voice or show small cleavage and i don turn mumu... May God deliver us from Karishikas!


Lalasticala which one be your ministry oooo? grin grin grin

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by kinglekan: 3:03pm On Sep 01, 2016
charijee:
Make i follow you cry cry cry cry cry cry
cry cry cry cry cry cry


Kin.glekan, stop making this young guy shed tears! cry

Is your fellow ladies oooo! The things y'all put us through cos of puzzzayyy, only God wee judge. cry cry cry cry
Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Bekwarra(m): 3:14pm On Sep 01, 2016
kinglekan:


All they have to do is form sexy voice or show small cleavage and i don turn mumu... May God deliver us from Karishikas!


Lalasticala which one be your ministry oooo? grin grin grin

Naso one girl carry her laptop come my room that time make I help am do assignment o. The girl no even dey my department. I rush go online, check all the soft copies of materials wey dey her system. I use two days do assignment as per say I wan do better job. After I don type finish I carry system dey go her hostel. As I don dey near na hin I call her say I don almost reach o. Naso the werey girl. Talk say "hey sweetheart I'm very sorry I'm in Daniel's place off-campus. He's sick and I've gone to help him cook. Can you please help me bring it tomorrow morning when coming to the faculty." I just stand there they look like mumu. Daniel na guy wey she tell me say na her toaster who just dey disturb her and she don tell am say dem no fit date. My creator will never forgive that girl.

41 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Adeyinka1758(m): 3:30pm On Sep 01, 2016
Bekwarra:

Naso one girl carry her laptop come my room that time make I help am do assignment o. The girl no even dey my department. I rush go online, check all the soft copies of materials wey dey her system. I use two days do assignment as per say I wan do better job. After I don type finish I carry system dey go her hostel. As I don dey near na hin I call her say I don almost reach o. Naso the werey girl. Talk say "hey sweetheart I'm very sorry I'm in Daniel's place off-campus. He's sick and I've gone to help him cook. Can you please help me bring it tomorrow morning when coming to the faculty." I just stand there they look like mumu. Daniel na guy wey she tell me say na her toaster who just dey disturb her and she don tell am say dem no fit date. My creator will never forgive that girl.
LMAO, those babes ehn sad
Bekwarra:

Naso one girl carry her laptop come my room that time make I help am do assignment o. The girl no even dey my department. I rush go online, check all the soft copies of materials wey dey her system. I use two days do assignment as per say I wan do better job. After I don type finish I carry system dey go her hostel. As I don dey near na hin I call her say I don almost reach o. Naso the werey girl. Talk say "hey sweetheart I'm very sorry I'm in Daniel's place off-campus. He's sick and I've gone to help him cook. Can you please help me bring it tomorrow morning when coming to the faculty." I just stand there they look like mumu. Daniel na guy wey she tell me say na her toaster who just dey disturb her and she don tell am say dem no fit date. My creator will never forgive that girl.
LMAO, those babes ehn
Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by dollyparton(m): 4:58pm On Sep 01, 2016
Hahahahahaha. I don laff tire. Wicked hoes everywhere you go.

Where is lalasticlala sef

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Beamborla(f): 5:14pm On Sep 01, 2016
cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by ipledge10(m): 5:20pm On Sep 01, 2016
kinglekan:


This one almost got me shedding tears! grin grin grin.. Gehs are pure evil

JeffreyJamez come see your ministry ooo! Mr FixIT grin grin grin

grin grin grin why bring oracle into the matter cheesy
Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by ipledge10(m): 5:21pm On Sep 01, 2016
Beamborla:
cheesy cheesy cheesy
abim
Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by ipledge10(m): 5:22pm On Sep 01, 2016
Bekwarra:

Naso one girl carry her laptop come my room that time make I help am do assignment o. The girl no even dey my department. I rush go online, check all the soft copies of materials wey dey her system. I use two days do assignment as per say I wan do better job. After I don type finish I carry system dey go her hostel. As I don dey near na hin I call her say I don almost reach o. Naso the werey girl. Talk say "hey sweetheart I'm very sorry I'm in Daniel's place off-campus. He's sick and I've gone to help him cook. Can you please help me bring it tomorrow morning when coming to the faculty." I just stand there they look like mumu. Daniel na guy wey she tell me say na her toaster who just dey disturb her and she don tell am say dem no fit date. My creator will never forgive that girl.
grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Beamborla(f): 5:33pm On Sep 01, 2016
ipledge10:
abim
Sweetim, how's you cheesy
Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by ipledge10(m): 5:36pm On Sep 01, 2016
Beamborla:

Sweetim, how's you cheesy
eeem sad please don't sweety me at all sad

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 10 Types Of Assistant Boyfriends by Beamborla(f): 6:16pm On Sep 01, 2016
ipledge10:
eeem sad please don't sweety me at all sad
What i do?

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