more like a rap music, trynna save.


For the baby

ex-sniper, spitt'n fire, it's kookny on nL;

you know im fly and den still gett'n higher;
I play this game so well lyk a'Roger Miller;
I got this buckz pool'n like o'Rockefella;
I'm feeling dope, buh im still gon' miss her;

back den when we were sophomores;
casually I was really gonna ask 4 more;
she tell me she ma doing serious & all;
den my niggaz say I shouldn't beg n fall;

I knew I had d talent, knew I got the gut;
raters rated d ratio pro-rata & said im poor;
I didnt kick d bucket buh I stood and fought;
wrought wrong rules and dem created d force;

you know when I say you are my baby, baby;
maybe I nor go school lyk Soyinka, maybe;
cos dont know how to express ds feeling, it's killing;
4give my wobble, my babble, hope you get ds meaning;

hello guys,

please I need reviews on this as this is my first attempt on writing these on NL... constructive criticisms are welcome

Its a rap...

Poems are not sung.. So they don't have chorus.

imohchard:
Its a rap...

Poems are not sung.. So they don't have chorus.

Oh dear! Really? My bad!

Thanks for the input. I really appreciate.

New stuff:

I dey vex


yea... these people trynna do d dynasty;
dem don't fvckin care 'bout d legacy;
dem wine, swine on we bleedin pipy;
whareva-cracy dey say, it's a tyranny;

we begin to criticize we realized dem despised us in disguise;
d vices, chop pies, close eyes and laugh cry, suicide people;
I don't blame dem, ve been tied. no, I blame dem, for acceptin ds lies;

how do we forfeit ds conflicts? complete;
we call 911, dey pick, take to d court, dey judge, nawa o!
dem promise fake promise and no promise's did;
stupid people, class racism, crass we don't need;

my people in agony, how can there be harmony?
we still dey dance shoki, dem call us monkey, buh e no funny;
we know dey re phoney, dem think we dummy, jus dey travel go Turkey;
chai, wicked people, chop our honey, money, still dey find our body;

this house we have built with our sweat, CAC;
all dem know is to enjoy, kill, PPP, GDP;
dey re same people, different brands, DAC, ZPZ;
God give us grace to be happy, even in ds country;

take this to rap section

Kruzilano:
take this to rap section

Yea, my bad...

Could the MOD help me transfer? Pls

Kookny:

Yea, my bad...
Could the MOD help me transfer? Pls

na em EPP u write am