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Know Your Temperament - Literature - Nairaland

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Know Your Temperament by gbemmy2k10(m): 7:15am On Sep 08, 2016
Melancholic
In a nutshell...
Melancholic people are emotionally sensitive, perfectionistic introverts.
Perfectionistic
The defining feature of a melancholic attitude is perfectionism. They are idealists
who wish for things to be a certain way, and they get distressed when they are
not.
They hold themselves and others to unrealistically high standards, and get
distressed when these standards are not met.
This leads to them being self-deprecating - because they do not meet their own
standards - and critical of others - because those others do not meet their
standards.
Their generally dour demeanour comes from their inner struggle between an
imperfect world and a desire for perfection.
Many melancholics wish to learn and to understand, to know the details of every
little thing, because to be ignorant is to stray from perfection. They are not content
to just accept things the way that they are.
They are inquisitive and ask specific questions in order to come to a clearer
understanding.
This leads many of them to be overanalytical, neurotic worriers.
They are very stubborn, because they try very hard to stick to their own carefully
considered views and standards of perfection, and are not easily shifted from this
path. They do not go with the flow.
They are tenacious and cannot let things go, because 'good enough' is not good
enough. They strive for perfection.
They are very pessimistic, and assume the worst due to these unrealistic
standards.
They think and plan before they act; they are not the types who will resort to rash,
impulsive behaviour, and will panic if they are unable to plan in advance.
It's easier for them to reject and hate things than it is for them to love and
embrace them. Their interests and tastes are picked carefully, and they give a lot
of attention to each one, and hold them close to their hearts, rather than having
many fleeting interests that change quickly and often.
They complain a lot, in a 'whinging' kind of way rather than a 'put down' or
'demanding' kind of way.
They tend to argue, because they cannot simply let things be if they seem wrong.
They argue using reason, evidence, logic, and explanations, delivered analytically or
with pleading. They only argue to set wrongs right, rather than to assert
dominance. The argument is about the issue, not about them.
They respond poorly to compliments, often 'rebutting' them by saying that they're
not so great after all.
"Wow, that's a really nice painting you just made!"
"I don't know, the eyes are probably too big..." (rather than "Thanks!"wink
They will blame themselves for mistakes, because they are acutely aware of their
own imperfection.
They tend to prefer things to be tidy, organised in some way or another. This
doesn't necessarily mean 'neat' as such; often they have very idiosyncratic
organisation methods.
They are idealists, who imagine perfect fantasies and feel upset when things don't
live up to these fantasies.
They prefer to tackle the heart of the matter, which can lead to them avoiding
'beating around the bush'.
Introverted
Melancholics are the most introverted of the temperaments in that they crave time
alone, and are most at ease in their own company.
They can enjoy spending time with others, but this drains their energy, and they
need alone time in order to recharge.
Much of their introversion comes from their perfectionism. They are picky about the
sorts of people that they associate with; people who meet their standards and
share their outlook. People that don't will make them uncomfortable; they do not
wish to talk to 'anyone and everyone'.
Their self-deprecation also makes them think that they might not be very
interesting anyway, that they aren't really worth spending time with, even if they
know in the depths of their minds that they are very interesting indeed.
Once they have someone to talk to in a quiet and relaxed environment, they can
talk a lot and will enjoy sharing thoughts and ideas.
They are very wary of making friends. Unlike sanguines, it can take them a very
long time for them to consider someone they're familiar with a 'friend', but once
they've reached this point, they will likely stick with that person loyally.
They prefer having a few close friends to many acquaintances.
They can be seen as selfish, because they prefer to be alone with their thoughts, to
have their own things, rather than sharing time or possessions socially with others.
They are usually very possessive about the things that they own and are reluctant
to let others borrow or use them, because they treat their own things well, care
about everything deeply, and will worry that others will not look after them with the
same level of care.
They could be described as 'intense', rather than 'easy-going'.
Sensitive
Melancholics are very emotional. They are moved deeply by beauty, and by
distress. They are very easily hurt, because of their perfectionistic tendencies.
Often their moods are like delicate glass sculptures; built up slowly, deliberately,
and carefully, but easily broken, and hard to repair once shattered.
They respond to things that they dislike with misery and with tears rather than with
rage.
They are very slow to 'snap', but will hold onto emotions for a very long time. They
hold grudges, because people who have failed to meet their standards, who have
hurt them, will not just suddenly meet those standards without changing
drastically.
They can become very 'moody', and they can be difficult to interact with because
they are so easily hurt.
They are not aggressive, and wish to flee from things that cause them distress.
If they want to get back at another person, they are more likely to make them feel
guilty than to insult them bluntly.
They are 'thin-skinned'.
Role
In our distant ancestors, the melancholic members of a pack may have been the
analysts, the information gatherers. They scouted for potential danger, or for food,
and reported back to the pack leader. The more accurate their findings were, the
better; this led to a trend towards perfectionism, as the 'analysts' closer to
perfection survived better than those that made sloppy mistakes.
In current society, they often tend towards analytical roles such as scientists,
analysts, programmers, logicians, and so on. In fantasy settings, they may be
wizards or sages.
Re: Know Your Temperament by gbemmy2k10(m): 7:16am On Sep 08, 2016
Phlegmatic
In a nutshell...
Phlegmatic people are meek, submissive introverts who live to please others.
Submissive
Phlegmatics do not act as if they are better than others. They are eager to please,
and quick to give in to others rather than asserting their own desires as if they're
the most important.
They take the path of least resistance whenever possible. They so desperately wish
for peace, for everyone to get along, and to avoid conflict at all costs.
Conflict terrifies them. They do not start it (except perhaps in extreme
circumstances), or provoke it, and try to defuse it when it comes up. When forced
into an argument, they get very upset and distressed, seeking escape rather than
victory.
If confronted, they are likely to admit that they are in the wrong in order to prevent
hostilities.
They don't believe that they know best.
They have no desire to be a 'winner'; they only wish for peace.
They are well-behaved; rebelling against established rules would feel deeply
uncomfortable to them. They're the sort who'd say, worriedly, 'should we really be
doing this?' or 'we might get in trouble!'.
They really, really do not wish to be a bother to others, and always put others first.
This is due to a deep-rooted unease about asserting themselves rather than a lack
of confidence, or a conscious desire to be a 'nice person'.
They are quick to apologise for any mistakes that they may have made, and will
sacrifice their own happiness to ensure that others are happy.
They are empathetic, and acutely aware of the feelings of those that they are
interacting with, as they do not wish to hurt these feelings.
They have tremendous difficulty saying no, and will go along with things that they
dislike to make others happy.
They are extremely trustworthy; if they make a promise, it's very likely that they
will keep it.
They're terrified of doing things wrong.
They will blame themselves if mistakes are made, even if it was someone else's
fault, just to make others feel better and more at ease.
They try and word things in a way that is not offensive to others. The will be more
supportive than critical.
Indecisive
They'll defer to others to make choices, and will feel upset and pressured if they
have to make a decision themselves; this comes from their inability to see
themselves in a 'leader' role.
They are natural followers, and work best when they are told what to do.
Their language is generally full of uncertain phrases such as 'I think', 'maybe',
'perhaps', 'or something'. Compare "maybe you could do X, or something?" to "do
X" or "you should do X".
Rather than saying or doing the wrong thing, they'll say or do nothing at all.
Obstacles that get in the way of their steady path will cause them to halt and
fumble around, not sure what to do. They're more likely to travel around than
through it; their path is easily changed by others.
Calm
Phlegmatics are introverted, and enjoy time alone. However, they are much 'nicer'
and more friendly and social than the melancholic, as they're unburdened by
'perfectionism' and as such do not judge others.
They enjoy spending time with friends, and are very loyal to these friends, sticking
with them through thick and thin, even through abuse. This is because they put
others first, and will not leave another even if THEY want to because the other
person may not want them to leave.
They are almost immune to anger. They have extremely long fuses, and will only
snap after a long period of prolonged and persistent abuse. Even then, they're more
likely to retreat within themselves and cry than to try to harm another.
They like calm and steady lives, free of surprises. They can be relatively confident in
familiar situations - if not necessarily assertive - but panic when placed in new
ones. They do not seek thrills, and enjoy predictable, quiet, ritualistic lifestyles.
They are very quiet, and do not share their own inner thoughts readily, as they fear
judgement and don't wish to bother others by waffling on about themselves.
They are however excellent and attentive listeners, who will quietly and politely take
in and absorb the conversations of their friends. They will always pay attention, and
will offer supportive feedback rather than criticism or advice. They'd never say
things like 'bored now', as if it's the duty of others to entertain them.
Since they hate to offend or hurt others, they generally don't ever resort to
aggressive insults or attacks. Belittling or hurting another makes them feel bad,
not 'powerful and in control' or amused, so they'll worry about having done this
accidentally.
They could be described as 'nice guys/girls' or, more horribly, 'doormats' by those
with different temperaments.
They barely express emotion at all. While the sanguine might whoop and cheer and
jump for joy at the slightest provocation, phlegmatics are unlikely to express more
than a smile or a frown. Their emotions happen mainly internally.
They lack 'passion', as their emotions are mostly internal. They often rely on others
ordering them to do things to get motivation.
Role
In our distant past, the phlegmatic members of a pack might have been the
obedient followers who'd get much of the actual work done at the command of
their superiors. They may not stand out, but without them, nothing would work.
They are the cooks, the cleaners, the quiet office drones, the redshirts, the white
mages.
Re: Know Your Temperament by gbemmy2k10(m): 7:17am On Sep 08, 2016
Choleric
In a nutshell...
Choleric people are the proud, extroverted 'alphas' of our species.
Dominant
Cholerics people are leaders and directors. They seek to be in control of situations,
to be on top, to be the best.
This doesn't necessarily mean that they are all driven to reach the top of the
corporate ladder or anything, or that they all want to have leadership roles, but in
day-to-day interactions with other people, they have a tendency towards one-
upsmanship.
They use imperative, commanding language, wording things as orders rather than
requests. Compare "get me a drink" to "can I have a drink?". They probably use
phrases like 'deal with it', 'get over yourself', 'stop being such a wimp', etc, or may
start sentences with "look", or maybe "look, buddy" or "listen, pal" or things like
that.
They word things with confidence and certainty. Compare "X is this way" to
"maybe X is this way, or something?".
They are firm and forceful in their approach to problems. They believe in 'tough
love', and try to 'help' others by challenging them to prove themselves, as they
themselves would.
They're more likely to tell someone who they are trying to 'help' that they're
pathetic, expecting the person to say 'no, I'm not pathetic, I'll show you!', as
indeed a choleric would in response to such a thing.
If met by opposition, they react confrontationally to defend themselves. They are
constantly trying to be 'dominant' in every situation, subconsciously, either by
being louder and better than those around them, or more restrained and therefore
superior to those who lose their cool.
Most bullies are choleric, but few cholerics are bullies. Many will in fact stand up
to those who bully others, rather than letting them get away with things.
Their confidence and demanding natures make them natural leaders, though this
doesn't mean that they would necessarily enjoy leadership positions; they're just
more likely to take charge if necessary rather than fumbling around worrying.
They will 'challenge' others aggressively in order to show their respect for the
person's strength. They believe that it is important to 'prove oneself'.
They have a tendency to argue for reasons that are different to the melancholic.
They're more driven by a desire to prove themselves greater than whoever they're
arguing with, to assert that they are right, rather than to reach some kind of truth
or compromise. They can lie in order to maintain the dominant position. The
argument is about them moreso than the issue; a battle of egos rather than a
quest for truth.
They say things like "if anyone tries to mess with me, I make them wish they'd
never started on me in the first place".
They love competition... but hate to lose.
They are defiant of authority, challenging them as if to knock them off the top spot
and assert their own dominance as the alpha of this pack, the leader of this tribe.
They can be very condescending to those that they look down upon.
They may take pleasure in the pain, misfortune, or humiliation of people they are
not on good terms with. This is because it brings them pleasure to feel superior to
others. "Haha! Look at that loser messing up! Hilarious!" (Compare this with the
phlegmatic, who'd be more likely to feel distress when seeing someone being
harmed, even if it was their worst enemy.)
Words like 'hot-blooded', 'brash', 'domineering', 'overbearing', might be used to
describe this temperament.
They blame others for their own mistakes, often to the point of lying to save face.
They feel that they can define and understand and advise others, but laugh at the
thought that others could do the same to them. This is because analysing and
defining another puts you in the superior position, while being defined would put
them in the inferior position, which they resist.
Extroverted
Cholerics are extroverted in the sense that they will meddle in others' affairs and
'speak their mind' if they feel it is necessary, rather than minding their own
business.
They generally respond well to new situations, and seek thrills.
They seek to prove themselves externally, to show that they are great and the best
and things like that. They must prove that they are strong.
They believe that it is important to 'say things how they are', to be bluntly honest
about their opinions rather than 'sugar-coating' them.
They speak their mind, but often don't mind their speech.
Their pride and drive for dominance, as well as their open expression of emotion,
naturally leads to outright aggression when challenged. They will raise their voices
and get angry to show that they are the biggest and strongest, and to assert
superiority.
They brag and boast to show how amazing they are, in an 'I am better than others'
kind of way.
They are pragmatic, doing what needs to be done bluntly rather than worrying
about fantasy scenarios.
They will plough through obstacles that bar their path (metaphorically speaking);
they are single-minded in moving towards their goals.
Proud
They generally believe that they are right, and have immense stubbornness about
admitting their flaws, UNLESS admitting these flaws would make them look better
than others ("I'm strong enough to admit I'm wrong, unlike you"wink.
They demand respect from others, and will hold grudges against those that they
consider to be rivals.
They can be great, supportive friends who'd take a bullet for those close to them,
unless you get on their bad side, in which case they'll try their best to 'rub your
nose into the dirt'.
It is important to them that they are strong and courageous, not afraid of
anything. If they are afraid, they will deny it (again, unless admitting it makes them
look strong).
They often - but not necessarily - have high self-esteem.
They will 'rise to the challenge', in order to prove themselves, and look for
opportunities to do so.
It's important for them to be tough and strong.
They are in many ways the opposite of the phlegmatic in that they are controlling,
assertive, and see conflict and challenge and competition as a desirable form of
interaction.
They have similarities to the melancholic in that both are stubborn and opinionated,
but the choleric is more forceful and 'tough' while the melancholic is uncertain and
sensitive.
Cholerics strive for independence, because to be dependent is to rely on others, to
not be in the superior position. Dependence is weakness.
They are 'thick-skinned', in many cases bulletproof against the criticisms of others,
able to shrug or laugh them off.
Role
In our distant ancestors, the choleric members of the pack would be the alphas,
the leaders. They would command their subordinates, and assert their dominance
using force. If challenged, they would respond by getting angry, larger, in order to
intimidate and to prove that THEY were the strongest, the most fit to lead.
In current society, they often tend towards leadership roles, such as managers,
politicians, captains, team leaders, and so on, though not necessarily. In fantasy,
they might be the proud warriors, the esteemed Kings.
Re: Know Your Temperament by gbemmy2k10(m): 7:18am On Sep 08, 2016
Sanguine
In a nutshell...
Sanguine people are boisterous, bubbly, chatty, openly emotional, social extroverts.
Social
Sanguines find social interactions with faces both familiar and unfamiliar
invigorating. This is how they recharge, and time alone - while sometimes desirable
- can bore them quickly.
The more people they're surrounded by, the better they feel, and they're not picky
about who they get to know. They enjoy having many, many friends.
While sanguines enjoy being around other people, it's largely because they enjoy
the attention of others and feel good about the fact that they are not lonely.
They are talkers more than they are listeners.
They may move away from friends that they consider to be boring or dull.
They are bubbly, fun-loving, extroverted people-people who are always in the mood
for a good time. They love wild nights out.
They make friends quickly, and they'll cheerily talk to strangers. People of the
melancholic temperament might perceive a room of twenty strangers as frightening
or uncomfortable, while a sanguine might see them as opportunities to meet new
friends.
They are not picky, and will usually like more things than they dislike. They tend to
enjoy things that are trendy, popular, and so on.
They enjoy social situations, and believe that everyone else would too. They're
likely to convince people to come along with things like 'come on, you'll enjoy it!'
or 'you don't know what you're missing!'
Being friends with a Sanguine is often as simple as knowing each other's face and
name.
They aren't particularly trustworthy... as they'll be too eager to spill secrets with
others, and their general flightiness can make them unreliable as they're likely to
get easily distracted by other things.
Expressive
They are talkative, and speak in a friendly, energetic, playful kind of way; they're
often charismatic, and when interacting with them, you can feel like you've known
them all your life.
They are very emotional, and their emotions can be extreme but fleeting. They are
the sorts who will be screaming "I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!" one day, then mere
hours later, they'll be profusely apologising about it, then expecting everything to
all be water under the bridge after that.
They are quick to 'forgive and forget' - and expect others to do the same -
because they live in the moment rather than dwelling in the past.
They tend to have open senses of humour (rather than dry or subtle humour), and
laugh and smile often and clearly.
They may tease others in a 'playful' way, expecting them not to 'take it so
seriously'.
They are very show-offy and have high self-esteem. They're prone to bragging, in a
'look how amazing I am!!' kind of way rather than 'I am better than you' (which is
more choleric).
They are extreme in their emotions, and may go through stages of melodramatic
misery and self-loathing as well.
They can be very easy-going, suggesting that more serious people 'mellow out' or
'take a chill pill'.
Sanguines can be great motivators, as they'll enthusiastically encourage others
towards action, and they see things positively, optimistically, and would convince
others to see things that way too.
They are naturally physical with others, very 'touchy-feely', openly expressing their
affection through hugs and stroking and grabbing shoulders and things like that.
They could not be said to be neat and tidy. They live in the moment, which can
lead to poor planning or disorganisation, messiness.
Attention-Seeking
They love attention. They desire to be in the spotlight, and for people to
compliment and praise them. Everyone loves compliments, but sanguines will go
out of their way to get them.
They are often performers, party animals, drama queens.
They wish to fit in and be popular. Or, they'll seek to be Different in a way that will
make them remarkable.
The embarrassment of making a fool of themselves is outweighed by the pleasure
of putting on a show. They will go to extraordinary lengths to add the life they feel
is missing from any party, such as dancing on tables, eating food off the ground,
etc.
Of course, the reason they'd do silly things isn't JUST to get attention. They do
these things because them find them amusing themselves.
They require constant entertainment, and will complain about being bored if they
are not sufficiently entertained, often at another person who's failing to entertain
them.
They will show off their abilities to others in order to get praise.
They are dramatic, and will exaggerate to make things seem more extreme than
they are.
They have a tendency to be vain, and to care about how they look.
If nobody is paying attention to them, they will barge into a conversation or say
something in order to attract some attention. They are very uncomfortable being
left out.
Role
In our distant past, the sanguine members of the pack might have played a
supportive, encouraging, social role. They would have been the glue that kept the
group together.
In modern society, you might see them as entertainers, singers, dancers, or perhaps
simply as the energetic people at parties. In fantasy, they might be Bards.

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