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Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. - Family - Nairaland

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Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 2:55pm On Sep 13, 2016
Part 1.
I met this girl some years ago in my area. Then I just gained admission into uniben as a diploma student after which I immediately took up part-time degree form from the same school. I became fond of this girl because of she is very industrious, hardworking and generous to me.
Because we live in the same neighborhood, we got talking and I always encouraged her to go back to school. Then she was helping her mum to sell fruits close to my shop where I operates a barbing salon.
She told me she can't go back school now because she has nobody to sposor her to school.i told her money for school cannot be saved down and I explained it her how I started and struggle to gained admission into uniben. She was reluctant but she loves to spend money on wears, and all those things girls do to look good but hers was excessive.
Since she was not having the interest of going back to now, I encourage her to go learn a hand work like tailoring, hair dressing or make up or even open a bussiness of her own rather than staying on the street helping her mother to sell fruits. She kept procastinating but eventually she managed to open a small bar,also involved in the fruits bussiness.
I have a girlfriend in Auchi poly who I was in a serious relationship with. When she graduated before her youth service she started coming around that was when she she discovered one day that I have a relationship with this girl. She became furious with me and threatened to leave me. Abeg and promised her that as soon as I graduated we will get married. To be sure am serious she asked me to see her parents which I did. Her parents being pastors asked me bring my parents to know how serious I am about they daughter.
I was planning to do that when one day this girl, my baby mother called me and said she is pregnant. I thought she was joking. I called her over to my place and talked to her. I was confused because I couldn't remember how and when last time I met her. She insisted am the one responsible for the pregnancy. I asked her to abort it she refused and said over her dead body will she abort the pregnancy.
When the other girl found out about the pregnancy she left for service and we broke up.
Since she refused to abort the pregnancy and I wasn't ready to marry because am still schooling with huge financial Borden as a part-time student.
She was then staying with her mum and there She eventually delivered a baby girl. But I must admit here that through out the pregnancy I wasn't show care until the day she delivered and she called me and I told her we are going to do a DNA test to determine if truelly am the father of the baby. She got angry with me and kept insisting an the father. With the talks of people and persuision by my family and friends I went to see the baby.Though everybody said the baby looks exactly like me, some said the baby resemble my junior sister.i could no longer deny it because am very fair, the baby is fair too,but the mother is very black.
So, that was how I started taking caring of the child. One year, two years I put her in school and before the issue of marriage now started. She started telling people to come to beg me to marry her. She called the whole of her family members to her landlord place to know when I want to marry her but I insisted that I just graduated last year and still awaiting my result. That I will not marry now until I have gotten a job, get another apartment because presently I live in a room apartment with my junior sister who is learning a trade and she intend to round off the process by next year.
Then and there, I told them my conditions before I can marry her.the conditions are, ....
Part 2.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by Artistree: 3:40pm On Sep 13, 2016
Be fast about it...

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by ChemicalReaction(f): 3:42pm On Sep 13, 2016
OP, where are you? Let the part two be 'THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL FATHER'.

1 Like

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by LivinaPatrick(f): 3:50pm On Sep 13, 2016
Odi egwu,so this is a story,abi
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 3:51pm On Sep 13, 2016
Hmmmm... Sorry oooo.. Am not too familiar with the way this thing work.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by ahnie: 3:59pm On Sep 13, 2016
Permishun to hiss


Mtcheeeew!!!

5 Likes

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 4:18pm On Sep 13, 2016
The conditions are one, she must be ready to go back to school, or alternatively, learn a hand work.Two, learn to keep secrets and privacy and cut off bad friends she is associating with. Three, Be committed to God because she hardly ever go to church. All she does is money, money. And fourthly, be responsible and be respectful. She is rude and very arrogant to me. She doesn't take my advises.. One day told me I always claims I know it all. That whatever I said is the always the right and correct thing.i was shocked when she made that statement. So she promised in the presence of everybody that she is ready to change.
That as for going back to school, that she doesn't have the money. I promise to assist her get the form from UNIBEN or poly or college of education Where she can do part-time studies.
Do you know that this girl spent over two hundred thousand she used for the baby one year birthday?. After the birthday, she incurred huge debt that she was still paying before she travelled out. In March, she planned the two years birthday again trying to involve me but I vehemently refused to be part of the waste.
She started narratting me up and down that I don't love the baby . I have to called the mother and explained to her how she is living a wasteful life.She still went ahead and held the birthday though not elaborate like the first year birthday.
Then, the baby school now came up.she insisted the baby must start school before even celebrating the two years birthday. I have to put the baby in school, in play class less than two yes old just to make her happy. I spent nothing Les than fifty five thousand to put the child in school.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 4:25pm On Sep 13, 2016
Meanwhile, I was not having enough money because I have been having health challenge that have defiled all the medications I tried. Unknown to me that am having ulcer. I almost die of this ulcer one day when I was terriblly having stomachache only to get to hospital I was told it is ulcer. I have done all the tests, including HIV.infact, we both went to the hospital to carry out the HIV test and we tested nagetive.
One Day she came to me and said she is tired of waiting for me that she want to travel out.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 4:52pm On Sep 13, 2016
Thought she was joking. I sat her down that day in my shop and explain to her excersice patient with me till next year hopefully by the mid of next year so that I will be able to put one or two things in place. Most importantly get another accommodation. This girl refused oooo.. That next year is too far. Then and there I told her to do what is in her mind. Three weeks later she traveled. I thought they traveled for the holidays because the baby just vacated. I called her she refused to pick my calls. I met the mother who told me she didn't know her where about.
It was last three weeks that I started hearing rumours that she has travelled out.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 5:05pm On Sep 13, 2016
The day, been on monday, I went to see the mother again to confirm if it's true that she has travelled out and to find out where the baby is. To my surprise the mother confirmed it that she travelled and that she took the baby along.
I asked the mother to give me the number she is calling her with. She refused and said that she calls with different numbers and that each time she want to call her back that the number doesn't go through.
Surprisely, on Friday last week she called and told me she is in Tripoli, Libya with the baby. Later, after asking her I want to talk to the baby to be sure the baby is safe. She told me the baby is sleeping. Later around 11.30 pm she called again and said let her tell me the truth that they are now in Italy. That the baby is in a camp.while she is in another place working. That she is only allowed to see the baby once in two days because the amp is far from where they are staying. We have started chatting now with a number she cleaimed is for her friend. That she doesn't have her phone yet. Since morning we have been chatting. She promised to send me the pictures of the baby soon.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 5:11pm On Sep 13, 2016
Now, she is asking me if they should come. That she still loves me.am really confused right now. All I want to hear or see is the baby. Am really worried about the baby.She has assured me that the baby is safe and healthy. That I should not bothered about the baby.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by Iffffffy(f): 5:36pm On Sep 13, 2016
This one na wa o.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by udysweet(f): 6:17pm On Sep 13, 2016
No be small thing o
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by FameG(f): 7:19pm On Sep 13, 2016
typical benin semi-illiterate.(mind u am from Edo state). First of all, i blame u 4 letting konji to take over your common sense. With all uv typed now, its ur baby that is keeping you together if not you wouldnt have an idea where she is. My bro, even if u marry her no rest of mind for you. She doesnt want to work, no school, no erm what again


Solution:: Beg her to come home with the pretense a big job has landed for you. when she gets home. collect ur baby and give her money for transport to libya abi is it Italy again.

23 Likes

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by WorldRichest: 8:12pm On Sep 13, 2016
My guy, God just saved you from being tied to a common prostitute for life. Some girls' mind will never be at rest until they get to Italy and become professional prostitutes. You did not do a DNA, yet you accepted the child as yours despite your doubtfulness. Even if the baby is yours biologically, are you going to die without the baby? My guy, forget the baby mama, forget the baby and move on with your life.

Why do good guys like you always end up with Oloshos?

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by ifyalways(f): 8:33pm On Sep 13, 2016
I just hope she has not sold the baby to facilitate her travel plans undecided

5 Likes

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 8:45pm On Sep 13, 2016
FameG:
typical benin semi-illiterate.(mind u am from Edo state). First of all, i blame u 4 letting konji to take over your common sense. With all uv typed now, its ur baby that is keeping you together if not you wouldnt have an idea where she is. My bro, even if u marry her no rest of mind for you. She doesnt want to work, no school, no erm what again


Solution:: Beg her to come home with the pretense a big job has landed for you. when she gets home. collect ur baby and give her money for transport to libya abi is it Italy again.
Hmmmm.... Thanks.. But she has repeatedly told me that if I don't marry her I will never see the child again.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by oyomii(f): 9:20pm On Sep 13, 2016
U probably stay at ekosodin ryt?
U opened ur mouth to promise her marriage. While promising her marriage nd sleeping wit her u didn't notice dese character flaws oooo.its after dis na dat u r realising dese. Dude go nd think of things clearly nd decide wat u truly want bt consider d baby too.

4 Likes

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by uyiekpenm(f): 9:38pm On Sep 13, 2016
Benin girls and Italy are like 5 & 6. my dear you have tried move on with your life and leave the rest for God.

2 Likes

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 10:12pm On Sep 13, 2016
WorldRichest:
My guy, God just saved you from being tied to a common prostitute for life. Some girls' mind will never be at rest until they get to Italy and become professional prostitutes. You did not do a DNA, yet you accepted the child as yours despite your doubtfulness. Even if the baby is yours biologically, are you going to die without the baby? My guy, forget the baby mama, forget the baby and move on with your life.

Why do good guys like you always end up with Oloshos?
Hmmmm...thanks for the advise. I wented to actually do the DNA but the whole of Benin there is no place where DNA is done. My doctor told me if I really want to do it that he will give a referral letter to LUTH or one other place like that in Lagos or enugu. But the amount was outrageous. He said it will be between 120 to 150k to do the test and I don't have that kind of money.with the advises of my family and friends even my pastor told me to forget the DNA and take care of the baby.
The truth is that she wasn't an olosho. U know in Benin hardly any home that don't have somebody outside the country and she has alot of this girls as friends who were her neighbor before they traveled out and they are the one who have been encouraging her and her mother didn't help matter. She repeatedly told her that she should do what is in mind that I will not marry her.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 10:18pm On Sep 13, 2016
uyiekpenm:
Benin girls and Italy are like 5 & 6. my dear you have tried move on with your life and leave the rest for God.
Thank u.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by Neverquit(f): 10:19pm On Sep 13, 2016
1) Do DNA
2) Confirm that she is really in Italy
3) Do not marry her
4) If the child is yours, carter for your child, but do not be manipulated
5) Next time use protection
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 10:30pm On Sep 13, 2016
oyomii:
U probably stay at ekosodin ryt?
U opened ur mouth to promise her marriage. While promising her marriage nd sleeping wit her u didn't notice dese character flaws oooo.its after dis na dat u r realising dese. Dude go nd think of things clearly nd decide wat u truly want bt consider d baby too.
No. I Don't stayed at ekosodin. I promise her marriage when the pressures from her family, my family friends and neighbors even majority of my customers and my pastor were all involved.
They all talked to us and she promised to change. As said at the beginning of this write up, she was very generous, and industrious. I didn't not notice those characters flaws. Was was nice and kind to me. It was only during and after the pregnancy she showed me her real color.
At first I started seeing some changes in her. More so, I became so fond of the baby because she is very beautiful and intelligent.she was now calling me daddy, u know that kind of feelings. Each time the baby is with me and the mother asked her to go home with her, she refuses and cried that she wants to stay with me. The baby is really adorable. That was why I changed my mind.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by soonest(f): 10:31pm On Sep 13, 2016
This is a typical Benin story. So very typical. Pray they deport her if not your baby don go be that
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by fabem(m): 10:36pm On Sep 13, 2016
mickool:
Now, she is asking me if they should come. That she still loves me.am really confused right now. All I want to hear or see is the baby. Am really worried about the baby.She has assured me that the baby is safe and healthy. That I should not bothered about the baby.

Bro, immediately you said she travelled out to Tripoli, Libya. I knew what your baby mama is up to. Do you even know that most African Migrants crossing Mediterranean sea moving to Europe especially Italy and Spain are from Edo? The truth is they lure most of them into prostitution. Now, about marriage aspect, she is out of it unless you want to dig your grave. You need to involve your family in this matter. You can't marry such Lady and stay happy. Just try to give your daughter best life a father can give his child and move on with your life.

3 Likes

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 10:41pm On Sep 13, 2016
soonest:
This is a typical Benin story. So very typical. Pray they deport her if not your baby don go be that
Hmmmm.... Thanks. My worry now is the baby. She told me today they collected the baby from her at the camp and that before she can see the baby again it will be two days after.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 10:52pm On Sep 13, 2016
fabem:


Bro, immediately you said she travelled out to Tripoli, Libya. I knew what your baby mama is up to. Do you even know that most African Migrants crossing Mediterranean sea moving to Europe especially Italy and Spain are from Edo? The truth is they lure most of them into prostitution. Now, about marriage aspect, she is out of it unless you want to dig your grave. You need to involve your family in this matter. You can't marry such Lady and stay happy. Just try to give your daughter best life a father can give his child and move on with your life.
thank u sir. The problem is I don't even know where about of the baby. She said the baby is at the camp. She called me on Sunday afternoon on whatsapp when I was offline. She said she was with the baby and the baby wanted to talk to me. When I called her back as soon as I saw the msggs She didn't pick utill later in the night when she called me back again .she said that she has left the camp. I Asked her to take a snap of the baby and send the pictures to me through whatsapp. Though she has promised to do that by Thursday when she will be going to the camp again. She said she doesn't have a phone of her own now. That she is using her girlfriend phone..
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 11:03pm On Sep 13, 2016
Neverquit:
1) Do DNA
2) Confirm that she is really in Italy
3) Do not marry her
4) If the child is yours, carter for your child, but do not be manipulated
5) Next time use protection
Thank u Ma. The problem too is that she has boasted several times that if I don't marry her I will never be the father of the baby. Am told too that the mother ask her to change the baby surname, my name to her father's name. They are delta igbor of heigbouring agbor near Benin. and I was told that when u don't pay Bride price of they girls u cannot claims be the father of the child.
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by Marvel1206: 11:13pm On Sep 13, 2016
Funny how you appear so tied to the baby you once told her to abort undecided

This lady is not a wife material... Please are you sure the baby really resembles you? The DNA test shouldn't be ruled out here. If you don't have money, just keep it in mind.

But how that hemi-demi-semi illiterate wan take get to italy na? What is her business there?
Is she a migrant? I just hope she's not toeing a sex worker's path

CONCLUSION: YOU ARE IN TROUBLE
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by mickool(m): 11:41pm On Sep 13, 2016
Marvel1206:
Funny how you appear so tied to the baby you once told her to abort undecided well, is not funny. It's surprised. It's beyond my comprehension.

This lady is not a wife material... Please are you sure the baby really resembles you? The DNA test shouldn't be ruled out here. If you don't have money, just keep it in mind.

But how that hemi-demi-semi illiterate wan take get to italy na? What is her business there?
Is she a migrant? I just hope she's not toeing a sex worker's path

CONCLUSION: YOU ARE IN TROUBLE
Conclusion : Am sure out of the the trouble my brother. Thanks u

1 Like

Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by Marvel1206: 11:48pm On Sep 13, 2016
mickool:

Conclusion : Am sure out of the the trouble my brother. Thanks u

amen grin


but on a serious note... She said she is in italy, aren't you concerned about how she got there?
Re: Am Confused : My Baby Mother Disappears With Our Baby. by Neverquit(f): 12:01am On Sep 14, 2016
Do.Not.Marry.Her until you see a genuine change (I highly doubt it).

That being said, demand for a DNA test. Stop all forms of financial assistance until you do a DNA test from your own reliable doctor/center (so that she won't be able to tamper with the result).

If she refuses, move on. If the child is really yours, she will come looking for you in the future.

mickool:

Thank u Ma. The problem too is that she has boasted several times that if I don't marry her I will never be the father of the baby. Am told too that the mother ask her to change the baby surname, my name to her father's name. They are delta igbor of heigbouring agbor near Benin. and I was told that when u don't pay Bride price of they girls u cannot claims be the father of the child.

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