Azubuike’s mother walked in slowly. She moved her feet like those of a woman who was unsure of herself, one who had gone through life being pronounced guilty of other people’s mistakes. The air in the room was thick and heavy and she wondered if she was the only person that felt like the walls were closing in on her. The secretary—who was seated in the only corner of the room with a window—seemed consumed by her work but anyone that lived in this country could tell that she was putting on the charade most office workers have mastered. They do it by pretending to be hard at work when they see a person approach the office and then acting surprised when their attention is called. The apparent hard work is added as a special effect to give them an almost legitimate reason for ignoring the inquirer. Normally, Azubuike’s mother would get paralysed at the thought of calling the attention of a seemingly busy worker in an office but today she was determined to do whatever it takes to make sure that her son’s future—which she was convinced was as bright as the early morning sun— was not dimmed.

‘Good afternoon ma’. Azubuike’s mother’s words bounced shakily off her jittery tongue and she could not bring her eyes to rest on the secretary’s face.
The secretary looked up, she seemed half the age of Azubuike’s mother but the boy’s mother continued to address her as ‘ma’.
‘Ma, please I would like to see the school principal’.
‘He’s in a meeting, you may want to come back tomorrow but he actually has another meeting then’. The secretary’s face held no emotions as she spoke. Azubuike’s mother could mark out the areas on her face that seemed to have escaped the effects of skin bleaching.
‘But he said I should come today, my son has already missed the first week of learning, biko nu, he’s a bright boy I don’t want him to miss too much’. When she said ‘my son’, the corners of her lips turned up slightly.
‘okay, you have to fill out that form, you will have to wait for a long time and be sure to clearly write your reason for wanting to see the principal’. She spat out her words in a tone that was sharp and rude, as if the very existence of Azubuike’s mother multiplied the needles under her skin. All the while, Azubuike was hard at work trying to get out the congealed phlegm that stubbornly lodged itself at a corner in his nose. As his mother searched the recesses of her bag for a pen she heard the principal emerge alone—over-polished leather shoe first—from his office. Hadn’t that ill-mannered woman with the camouflage patterned face lied to her that he was in a meeting? She would have to keep her resentment for the secretary aside and dwell on it later. Now, what she had to do was grab this opportunity with both hands. So she took her son’s arm, forcefully yanking his index finger out of his nose and went after the principal.

‘Good morning sir! I don’t know if you remember, you told me last week that my son could start today, he has already missed one week of learning, he cannot afford to miss any more’.
The principal could sense that all was not quite well with this middle aged woman, the world seemed to have given her more than her fair share of problems but he could tell that beneath all the anguish, she was a decent woman.

He went with her to the secretary’s office, where the secretary was now putting up an exaggerated show of industriousness.
‘Miss Kehinde, has this lady been to see you?’
‘Oh yes sir, I told her to wait for you for a brief while, but she insisted…’
Azubuike’s mother’s eyes widened. ‘Brief while? You said I would have to come back tomorrow’.
The principal sensed the growing tension in the already stuffy room and sought to make light of the whole situation. ‘Oh well, I am here now and you neither have to wait nor come back tomorrow. So remind me what your son’s name is?’ The principal’s demeanour was calm and composed and Azubuike’s mother saw something in him that she recognised as lacking in her life, but she could not find the words in her thoughts to define what it was.

A few minutes of formalities and Azubuike was on his way to primary 3 red. The class he was put in left Azubuike’s mother unsettled. Why primary 3 red? Did they not know that Red was the colour of the blood that ran down the corner of her lips a few days ago when Azubuike snr, her son’s father hit her across the face at the centre of the field at Azubuike’s former school? It was after this incident that Azubuike snr decided that Azubuike would have to start his class over at a different school, not minding the implication that for the rest of Azubuike’s school years, he would be a class behind his age mates. Leaving several questions unasked for lack of courage, the next day she was out in search of a school that would lead her son to attaining the immaculate future that she had conceived for him. The reality of the situation was that she was as concerned for herself as she was for her son. You see, before she got married she was Nnenna, just Nnenna, simple and quiet and unintentionally the only child of her parents. After marriage, she lost her personality even further under the weight of her husband’s power and she became nobody, a nonentity but the birth of her son gave her an identity, with his arrival she became ‘Azubuike’s mother’. So it is clear, Azubuike’s future had to be bright, for if he became nothing, then she, the mother of nothing would become an even greater nothing.

Azubuike’s mother could feel the secretary’s gaze fixed on her and the Secretary knew that the boy’s mother could feel her gaze. Why does the mother of the boy stand with arms akimbo and watch as the boy walks bouncily to his new class? He seems happy, other parents would hug and bid their weepy children farewell but with these two the emotions seem reversed. Anyways, I see someone approaching the office, why do these bothersome parents come here so often? I must now furrow my brows and appear busy.

Azubuike’s mother stood and watched her son for a while then she turned sharply and headed decidedly to the junction before the devil infiltrated her mind and seized the sense of direction that filled her at this moment. She looked left and right and ran across the road...

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