ATERI:


She didn`t say that directly, but everyone of her problems originated from denying him sex, and she is here complaining about condom

Like seriously eh... The thing tire me.

willibounce1:


Yes oo. So long as she doesn't suspect at all...you gotta be extremely codes and very submissive at home.. if you know the number of men who cheat on their wives, in fact judgement day go sweet die

Hahaha, many mouths go open in disbelief ba?

yeyeboi:
Go on ur kneels and pray there is nothing prayers cannot do.

This is the best advice. Hand your husband over to God and see what God will do. Look for a job if you can't find one go and learn a skill or two and start making your own money. Stop lamenting and get to work.

Thank God his using condom so that you can be safe God will restore your home and change your man for good.

holluphemydavid:

I wnt to scroll down and make dis exact comments, d moment I saw urs, I felt dere is no nid for dat again, some girls are so dumb, can u imagine, she knws all dis abt d guy background and still married d guy

Please be careful... I made that comment because I wanted her to reply me and tell me more about the issue... Insulting a human being no matter his/her level of ignorance is way below me....

I agree that what she did was beyond unreasonable, but I kind of understand everything that led to this point... how and why she married the guy and all that stuff, but I want to hear it from her first...

No girl is dumb, they are just ignorant and natural

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

[b]

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

[/b]

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

YOU ARE LONELY AND AM LONELY TOO. WE CAN TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL. DON'T YOU THINK SO?

ItsQuinn:
Divorce him straight! ....you're not benefiting anything from him, even your child is not benefiting anything from his/her father, what's the point of staying together then? The mistake you made was to marry him in the first place, next time get to know who you are marrying and the family's background before marrying. Now it's time to correct that mistake with a divorce

My sister, go look for a good job to support yourself and your baby. Stay blessed

see I don't have problem with she divorcing him, what I have problems with is the manner in which u say it, asive it is ur pride to see divorce parent all over the place, what is wrong in u helping her to see how the marriage can work again. Just imagine how u said it "divorce him" like is something of pride, don't u know that making ur marriage work is better than divorce, it is after one has tried and the marriage is still not working or if there are signs of abuse in the marriage, then divorce comes as the last option for everyone that want to have a peaceful life.
See my sister marriage comes with different challenges, it is how u are able to manage them that now matters, try and see how u can change this husband of urs talk to him, get people to talk to him, people he respects a lot people he has regards for, not his parent, people like his imam if he's a Muslim or pastor if he's a Christian, people that can talk to him that he listens to. After u most have exhausted all of these avenue and he still does not change, then u can consider the option of divorce.
I pray u have a peaceful home.......

ItsQuinn:
Divorce him straight! ....you're not benefiting anything from him, even your child is not benefiting anything from his/her father, what's the point of staying together then? The mistake you made was to marry him in the first place, next time get to know who you are marrying and the family's background before marrying. Now it's time to correct that mistake with a divorce

My sister, go look for a good job to support yourself and your baby. Stay blessed

This definitely a girl talking. And an un-married one who doesnt understand what marriage is

May God forgive U...

bettercreature:
Lol I'm under serious pressure just using this site to pass time at the moment

ok

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

I feel your pain madam, it's very sad. No insults but your husband is not mature and irresponsible except he has a reason why he's treating you that way. Maturity is not by age. Also his family is not a good family as well. For them to say that he's married does not mean that he won't enjoy himself means that such family is highly iresponsible. I think you should've noticed all these before marriage but you can still change it through and only through prayers. Read your psalms if you are a christian and always pray about your marriage WITH FAITH. You will be suprised of how things will turn around for you.

bettercreature:
Put it inside plate cover it and serve him as dinner,allow him to open it then tell him that is what you found in his wallet
Slap him 3-4 times then kick him out of the house

Are you a human being?

@poster


Lemme tell u the mistake that u made

1. Denying him sex
2. Checking his wallet
3. Nagging

Many ladies are exactly like u and do this things to their husbands,


A man does not like any of this three things, The moment a man senses that u are using ur pussiiiii as a weapon to deny him of sex, u have automatically sold him out to other gurls.

The first time u do not, a man will never forgive u, He married u cuz he wants to sleep wit u everytime even when u are tired.
How can u deny ur husband of sex and exepct him to remain loyal to ur pusssiiiii, is ur pusssiiii the only pusssiiii in the world,??

U see where u fooled urself now. u are now coming to paint the man bad on nairaland not knowing that u are the useless one.


anyway my advice to u.

1. Divorce him and regret ur entire lifetime

2. Get a job, dont rely on him for money all the time.

3. Be independent. almost everyone in this forum has told u this.

4. DO not report him to ur family or his family or to anyone. There is nothing a man hates than his wife reporting him to people . its like selling out ur own family u are a betrayal,

5. In case u do not know, cuz u appear to me as an extremely ignorant lady. sorry to say that to u. but a man does not play with 3 things, sex food and w aoman arguing with him all the time.

anytime u see a man coming home late, the woman at home is making life at home hell for him. no man, i repeat no man wants to come home after a hectic 9 to 5 work to meet a woman who will nag the entire 3 hours when he is supposed to be relaxing and happy in his wifes hand.


my sister, na u do urself, only u can repair urself. a word is enuff for the wise.

DO not confront him about any stupid condom cuz u pushed him to it , if u do u will make it worse cuz he will insult u for refusing him sex in the first place. perhaps. if u have never denied him sex he would never have had any reason to look for another easy pussiiii outside. even a 12 year old girl knows this, talkless of u an adult.

change ur immatured ways , and never in ur life deny him ur pussiiii cuz ur pussssi was given to u free by the maker.

NNE u have time to complain, remember time waits for no man, if he has No respect for ur vows n go after other women wot stops u from enjoying urself too. or better still confide in one of ur good female friends let her call u at odd hours when he's around, talk excitedly but quietly into d phone anytime she calls, dress seductively, wear a nice Cologne, put some makes on go out to that ur friends house but don't let ur husband know its a girl u r going to see. change ur attitude make every effort to look happy even when u r serving him his food or going abt ur daily chores be polite n do it with all smiles. #remember d rule# don't ever mention abt him seeing any other girl that's his worries, ur target is to get him jealous just as u r now jealous of him

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Well, this is an advice from a man.

The harsh truth is that your man is cheating on you.

And another harsh reality is that you landed yourself in this mess by yourself.

His father has plenty concubines and his mum can't do anything about it and has not done anything about. Your husband grew up in this kind of setting. You knew this fact but you still went ahead to marry him. An apple usually doesn't fall too far away from the tree does it?

My candid advice is that you learn to live with it. You have made the mistake already. For the sake of your child learn to live with it. At least he is smart enough to use a condom.

You can download this book "Secret Of Family Happiness" @ https://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/The-Secret-of-Family-Happiness/ It will prove very helpful indeed.

On the other hand if you think you can't live with it, you know your way to the court don't you. I believe the process is called something starting with letter D

You knew his family background and went ahead to marry him? Thats why it is said marriage is sweet depending on the cutlery you use to eat it( depend on your choice of partner).
Did I hear you say u resigned from your job? Now u're complaining he doesn't give you money? Biko did he burn all your certificates and resume too? Put the baby in a day care abi na creche and Begin find another job. You used your two eyes and senses to marry your kind of husband so make we hear word for nairaland biko.

In going into a marriage, you look at your background and look trice at the background you're going to. Look out for family values, social values, religious values, individual value system if it doesn't tally with your own family values, or better than your own. You have your own discerning ability to make your own final decision.

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Did you and your husband decide you stay at home for the baby or did you just decide on your own?

Do you know if your husband would rather have a live-in maid with you working than you staying at home 'non-productive' with the baby?

I have no idea about the cheating part however,

Ask him if he wants/likes a stay at home mom... if he finds them attractive then move on from there.

CSTR13:
Your husband is a yoruba man. Then his behaviour and the response of his family is not surprising.
Good-luck.

So, are you saying that Igbo men don't cheat or are not promiscuous? I have been with igbo guys and my cousin married one. So pls, spare us this

I think he inherited dat kind of life from his father. If only u knew earlier, u wouldn't have married him bc its only God dat can help him now.

I am new to commenting on Nairaland,but some commenters could be inhumane.....she needs positive answer to her question and not insults. She is already married to her husband;that's for sure, and there are thousands of ladies out there that are willing to endure just to be his Mrs.... Madam lets talk in private(cos i am still learning how thinz work around here) I also just learn of a Weapon/secret to happiness in marriage; and apart from that kindly go get a book SECRET by Rhonda Byme.And Lets talk if you are ready to be factual about some thinz in life

Let this be a lesson to single ladies don't marry out of desperation, wait for Gods time many men out there are nothing but sperm donors DAT knows nothing about commitment

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Put him in prayer, Pray that God will change him, don't pick quarrel or fight with him if he comes back late welcome him don't ask him why r u coming this late. Read the bible and get a counseling from Bible believing Church.

Trouble siddon, yanga go wake am. Now that you have found the condom, do what you like! Na your pocket? Wetin you go find inside?

just keep praying, ignore d condom and make yr family work. meanwhile u only told us ur husband side, u nko, what did u do. maybe u are a trouble maker too. close ur mouth and work out ur marriage. iyawo elese osun.

Abioooooooo

0kp0nku:
Trouble siddon, yanga go wake am. Now that you have found the condom, do what you like! Na your pocket? Wetin you go find inside?

genieluv:


So, are you saying that Igbo men don't cheat or are not promiscuous? I have been with igbo guys and my cousin married one. So pls, spare us this

No.
I am saying an igbo man will not cheat with such effontery and without fear, neither will his family openly support it. Infact, he will get serious scolding from his parents especially when his wife already has a child for him.

I will be controversial and ask all people saying don't deny him sex he is entitled to it.
Is it for his gratification only or for both of them.

Is it just a. ...I can take what I want bang and don't bother whether she is enjoying it too
If it's a 1 minute I need to relieve tension will women bother.

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Golden opportunity!

ItsQuinn:
Divorce him straight! ....you're not benefiting anything from him, even your child is not benefiting anything from his/her father, what's the point of staying together then? The mistake you made was to marry him in the first place, next time get to know who you are marrying and the family's background before marrying. Now it's time to correct that mistake with a divorce

My sister, go look for a good job to support yourself and your baby. Stay blessed

Bad advice,u really 're bloody single.U get a different mentality when you married.

Jobia:
I see his kind of men everyday on this forum.

If it were me i would leave the idìot. Imagine telling you to your face that he will 'get it' outside, after you sacrificed your job for the marriage. Mtchw.

Hope you have something to sustain you though..

Another bloody single lady who doesn't know anything about marriage!

SHOCK7:

Another bloody single lady who doesn't know anything about marriage!

oga shirt and tie oya tell us what you know about marriage

Jobia:
oga shirt and tie oya tell us what you know about marriage

listen well dis is how it's handled,without bias:
*Make yourself happy... dress well, go job hunting... make friends (responsible, motivated friends).
*Talk to your family, family is everything. They'll never leave you 'lonely'.
*Talk to him, like a civil human being.
*Protect yourself...since he inserts in random Kitty-cats.
*Worse case scenario, separate temporarily with him if he doesn't change.