why do i seem to be running into some African men who have been complete assholes. i am a Nigerian myself but it's so sad that i have never dated or had a serious relationship with a Nigerian because of their aggressiveness toward women. i always try to give the benefit of the doubt to the ones i meet but they can't seem to be gentlemen to me. they always want to rush to have sex without even getting to know me. i just don't know what is wrong. i don't want to be one of those Nigerian girls who doesn't give Nigerian men a chance. so far all my bad encounters with men have been with Nigerians or other African men. is there anyone else who has gone through what I've gone through and have you met any good ones out there. sorry to all men on this board, don't take this personal. I'm just saying what I've been through.

Hello chigurl. Thanks for sharing!

Why don't you give the other men (Whites, Asians, etc) a chance? Life is to short to be experiencing unhappiness just because one is determined to only date people of a particular race or color. Go for whoever will make you happy - white, black, yellow or purple. Don't date a jerk just because he's a Nigerian. Don't limit your chance of finding real love!

sorry to burst your bubble. But it goes both ways...where are all the good girls? remeber Joe's song(why are all the good girls taken every time). Just define what you want in your relationship before you enter it. Trust me it would work.

Simple response to your question my dear Chigurl...

They have not been born yet!

Stop whining. You haven't searched hard enough yet.
Seriously though, there are the good ones, and there are the bad ones. You just haven't been able to find a good one yet, as the bad ones outnumber them.

you can try me? you will not be disappointed

well, as shockreaction said, there are a no of good nigerian guys out there jus that they are outnumbered by the bad once. a good one will definately come around. have been with a few good ones myself and trust me, they were good so dont give up on them jus yet

Chigurl, i understand ur plight. what attracts u to a guy? what kind of a guy do u want? u need to have an image in mind. not all or any guy will b good for u. itz just one unique guy. what u need is a matured guy. who knows what he wants and is sure of himself. u can try me if u want. am different.

lumzzy:

u can try me if u want. am different.

otokx:

you can try me? you will not be disappointed

Seems like all the 'good' ones are still in Nigeria

are you sure if i try you i wont regret

Yeah Seun is right, if you have'nt seen the right guy in an African, youn can try out other races, and besides, because you have known some jerks does'nt mean that they are all jerks...

Ah tammy, yoruba says u don't stay far away to enjoy good things, so u can't expect to find the real Naija guys in US or anywhere, because most are economic refugees, so u need to come home and fine the real naija guys like the guys that are asking you out above.

So kindly don't complain, untill u come to naija and you don't find the correct naija man.

The real African guys are in the village farming.

the same way u've women looking for good guys there are men looking for good babes.so be a good babe and pray that you meet a good guy.you should ask yourself why you attract the wrong ones,are you sending the wrong signals? and like some guy said, race is no factor when it comes to romance or love. what matters is mutual affection,respect,passion and understanding.all i can say is keep looking and you'll be smiling soon.ciao.

Ol girl, while I understand your plight, I think life gives to us what we desire, if we desire hard enough and know it well enough. The fact that you have not met a good Nigerian/African guy does not mean they are born yet or that there aren't any, it just probably means you have not "walked or worked" in the means of the good ones.
I am sure it is just a matter of time before you find him, if you really want it.

I know a few guys who I can vouch for, that tells me the good ones are still out there ( Don't know about them in the US O !)

@chigurl, hey girl, welcome to Nairaland! you're among friends here so go on and lay your burden on us, we'll share it with you and give you the best advice (to the best of our ability and knowldge) and help you get through your problems.Concerning your question, i know what it must feel like. It should be really heart beaking but as seun said, don't limit your self to dating just black men and/or Nigerians. Expand your horizons, date whatever colour of man so long as he shows you real love and treats you good, i know i would! it's rather unfortunate though that all the Nigerian guys you've met have been pains but i know there's still a lot of them who are the very meaning of the word gentle men, so still keep your heart open to loving a Nigerian because a person's skin colour dosen't neccesarily define their character. Take care girl!
@ diseny, haha, very funny!

There are so many good Nigerian guys ,but if you can't find one ,then try other race as Seun said.Well I'm still available,

My main problem is finding a good african/nigerian woman. Each time I meet a nigerian woman, I am never sure what they are after in life. They never seem to be straight forward and you spend yoyr second guessing. Or is that all women in general!!! Like most things in life the bad nigerian people always makes things bad for the good ones. Good luck to that woman

@ balogun,
i think its both ways. Its difficult finding that one person that'll meet ur criteria. But i'm sure there's someone out there

Balogun:

My main problem is finding a good african/nigerian woman. Each time I meet a nigerian woman, I am never sure what they are after in life. They never seem to be straight forward and you spend yoyr second guessing. Or is that all women in general!!! Like most things in life the bad nigerian people always makes things bad for the good ones. Good luck to that woman

Balogun, equation balanced! The thread-starter is looking for a good Nigerian man and you are also looking for a good Nigerian lady. Why don't the two of you hook up? 2 ge 4...Ma fi para.

You know, that will be the real "I found love on Nairaland"

pretty ,
Won't that be cooll, naira land hookup....................l help in preparing for ur wedding ok, infact, l be ur chief's bridemaid since we are all naira's land buddies.

Did i hear wedding bells? ha ha just kidding! but Balogun and Chigurl, why not get together some time, you never know what the out come will be. Naira land will then be known as the LAND OF LOVE which by the way it is All the best to the both of you!

He's in the Uk and i'm in the US, hence the distance will be a problem. thanks for trying to be matchmaker ocho.

anytime girl

If everything fails, the whiteshark will never fail, why you nor try me?? I am as good as you get my dear with the bonus added to it. I kook, klean and do almost anything you ask 4.

On a serious note, there are still some very good and decent guys out there even in the states wer we have so much madness and deceit so dont loose hope dear gurl, your own dey come one the way... In the mean time, How old r u

I think there r still nice guys around.Why not try an undergrad n see that they gona give u all dat ur heart desire.Take care.

There are good men believe it or not
all the eggs in a basket cannot be BAD.

they r not yet born.

i totally agree with the people who still have hope for African men. i try to not to generalize and say that a group of people are the same way but it's like when you have been rubbed the wrong way by the same type of people it kinda makes you believe that they are all the same. so i hope you guys understand what i'm saying. i don't think all African men are bad but i've run into a whole lot of those bad ones. all i need is one to show me that they're not all jerks.

Hey Chigurl , i 'm the right candidate for u

U wish Buk but u r too late. I don hook am up with my broda and dem don dey flow like the river mississippi..... Nah marry nai remain now