It’s a painful experience for me, the doctors say nothing is wrong with me but for the third time I have had three stillborn babies.


My husband says we should stop trying, but my mother in-law will hear nothing of it, she says a real woman will keep trying and gives birth to babies who will stay alive.


I feel so much pain in my heart, I know my husband does too, but he wants my safety first, recently he suggested we adopt a new born baby, so I won’t feel the loss of mine, but I am not so sure I want to adopt, I have heard stories where mothers come back for their kids, or babies were stolen and sold, I don’t want to love a child and years later the real parents will show up.


I want to keep trying, maybe after a few years from now, I want to have my own biological child, I want to feel a child suckling from my breast, I want things every mother wants but maybe the time isn’t right yet, what do I do, I am in no right frame of mind to make any decision.





Talk2Bella.





I am so sorry about your babies, God in his infinite mercies will not let yours or that of your husband’s effort be in vain Amen.


There’s absolutely nothing wrong with adopting a baby, a child is a child, it doesn’t matter where he or she comes from, it doesn’t matter who the biological parents are, they are the same as every other children.


I am very sure you will make a great mum, I can feel the love emanating from your words, go ahead and bless that child with your love, some unwanted kids become the pathway to blessings and greatness.


Please pay no heed to your mother in law, you can try again when the doctor says it’s okay for you to try, do not be pressurized into trying too soon, your husband’s love should be your concern and you have got It in abundance, do not dwell on the past, there are good and legit adoption agencies in Nigeria, make your research and visit one of them, I hope you find happiness again soon.

http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/09/i-have-had-3-stillborn-babies-should-we.html

Wait for God, HE never disapoints his own....truth is, if you adopt a baby now, you will still born in the course of time...i dnt wanna qoute bible but i'm sure you know the stories of these noble women, sarai, the case of hannah, peninah, elizabeth and etc.

Atleast she's not barring.
She should keep trying with prayers anything is possible.

She should please adopt ....there are millions of orphans praying to God to get adopted and have a family. When you adopt it will be a blessing to your life and also to the child's life, it will bring happiness to your home and also to the child ....God can even use that to bless you with your own children. This is one of the things you can do to help humanity. God bless you

Lalasticlala
Ishilove

please this needs to get to front page biko

herbie27:
Atleast she's not barring.
She should keep trying with prayers anything is possible.

its not about being barren dear, its about her health and life, she should adopt now so she won't feel the losses of her children

ItsQuinn:
She should please adopt ....there are millions of orphans praying to God to get adopted and have a family. When you adopt it will be a blessing to your life and also to the child's life, it will bring happiness to your home and also to the child ....God can even use that to bless you with your own children. This is one of the things you can do to help humanity. God bless you

children are children, it doesn't matter who the parents are/were they are all gifts from God

Africans sef

what's wrong with adoption

an adopted child will even love you than a real child

firstking01:
Wait for God, HE never disapoints his own....truth is, if you adopt a baby now, you will still born in the course of time...i dnt wanna qoute bible but i'm sure you know the stories of these noble women, sarai, the case of hannah, peninah, elizabeth and etc.

Ahan

cant believe this is coming from you

after 3 losses, she should take a break and adopt mbok, its obvious she needs a child badly and adoption isn't bad

CuteHector

Bamisepeters

Talk2Bella:


its not about being barren dear, its about her health and life, she should adopt now so she won't feel the losses of her children

But not everyone feels comfortable with adopted kids, n her mother inlaw is a pain in the ass.

Talk2Bella:


children are children, it doesn't matter who the parents are/were they are all gifts from God

Africans sef

what's wrong with adoption

an adopted child will even love you than a real child

True "children are children", but another's biological child can't be yours biologically.

herbie27:
True "children are children", but another's biological child can't be yours biologically.

does it matter if a child is biologically ours or not?

Talk2Bella:


Ahan

cant believe this is coming from you

after 3 losses, she should take a break and adopt mbok, its obvious she needs a child badly and adoption isn't bad

Children only comes from God.

Talk2Bella:


does it matter if a child is biologically ours or not?

In the Africa settings it matters.

Talk2Bella:


children are children, it doesn't matter who the parents are/were they are all gifts from God

Africans sef

what's wrong with adoption

an adopted child will even love you than a real child

I tell you

I think she should listen to her husband... take a year or two and recuperate from the depression.


If she doesn't want to adopt, fine.. her husband shouldn't force her abeg. She's d one hurting, so her husband has to stand by her at this time.

firstking01:
Children only comes from God.

Thank God

Cutehector:
I think she should listen to her husband... take a year or two and recuperate from the depression.


If she doesn't want to adopt, fine.. her husband shouldn't force her abeg. She's d one hurting, so her husband has to stand by her at this time.

she doesn't want to adopt because of all the bad stories she's heard

Talk2Bella:


she doesn't want to adopt because of all the bad stories she's heard

she still won't be happy if she finally adopts..... its good when her mind is totally up for it.

Cutehector:
she still won't be happy if she finally adopts..... its good when her mind is totally up for it.

Yea

She did say she isn't in the right frame of mind to make any decisions now

Talk2Bella:


Yea

She did say she isn't in the right frame of mind to make any decisions now

dats why I mentioned earlier dat her husband shouldn't force her to adopt.. infact if I were her husband, I would prefer her to bring up that idea by herself.

Cutehector:
dats why I mentioned earlier dat her husband shouldn't force her to adopt.. infact if I were her husband, I would prefer her to bring up that idea by herself.

The husband is just trying to please her I guess

Talk2Bella:


The husband is just trying to please her I guess

nope, he just wants a kid dats all... he is concerned abt what people will say abt him if his wife isn't able to give birth to kids. Dats why he wants a kid by any means.

She has gotten valid point as adoption is concerned, we are in Nigeria where documents are not properly signed in order to work with change. However, for the main time she should try adopt from reputable orphanage homes. Adoption is never a lost of faith in God. Mother-in-laws are always like that and it is normal because every woman want to be proud to hear their grandchildren call them grandma.

You can't say, it might be adoption that will lead to your happiness, i share in your pains but pray to God for guidance and keep the faith.

Cutehector:
dats why I mentioned earlier dat her husband shouldn't force her to adopt.. infact if I were her husband, I would prefer her to bring up that idea by herself.

Don't blame the man, he just want the woman's happiness, only him can tell how saddened his wife his, he thought she might even get consoled through show of love to someone else's offspring.

Take your mind away from.the previous 3.
adapt a baby that you will be happy with and help you to build your confidence.
be patient with yourself, maybe 2 yrs
Be prayerful.

Cutehector:
nope, he just wants a kid dats all... he is concerned abt what people will say abt him if his wife isn't able to give birth to kids. Dats why he wants a kid by any means.

Nah I don't think so, if that were the case second wife no scarce

She's depressed I think this loss is recent that's why the man is trying to placate her

bamisepeters:
She has gotten valid point as adoption is concerned, we are in Nigeria where documents are not properly signed in order to work with change. However, for the main time she should try adopt from reputable orphanage homes. Adoption is never a lost of faith in God. Mother-in-laws are always like that and it is normal because every woman want to be proud to hear their grandchildren call them grandma.

You can't say, it might be adoption that will lead to your happiness, i share in your pains but pray to God for guidance and keep the faith.

Thanks

Talk2Bella:


Nah I don't think so, if that were the case second wife no scarce

She's depressed I think this loss is recent that's why the man is trying to placate her

well in that case he is doing it the wrong way. Telling her they can adopt wasn't the right thing to say.. he has to show her more love in this tryn times of hers.. make her understand that they both share in this problem and not try to seek for easy way out. He should also be with her, assure her that everythn will be fine and she will give birth to her own child who she will carry in her arms..





He also should try to escalate things by shouting on her when she errs.. but in love, just quietly shove it all aside. This is a very critical moment in their marriage now, so any slight thing should really not be taken for granted.