Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,143,203 members, 7,780,357 topics. Date: Thursday, 28 March 2024 at 12:57 PM

How Did You Choose Your Partners? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Did You Choose Your Partners? (5010 Views)

Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? / Can You Use Your Partners Tooth Brush? / How Did You Propose To Your Wife? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (Reply) (Go Down)

How Did You Choose Your Partners? by chronique(m): 9:34am On Oct 01, 2016
I'm asking the married folks amongst us,this question. It's common knowlege that getting a partner to commit to,isn't the easiest of tasks considering the avalanche of options that usually present themselves. There are several boxes that one has to tick before saying,"this is the man/woman I want". Yes,we usually have a long list of criteria but as we grow older and find that our desires aren't readily available,we tend to start reducing our standards.

Personally,I used to envisage being with an extremely pretty and ggorgeous woman,that super model/beauty queen kind of woman. Reason for this is that to me,the first law of attraction,is what the eyes feed on. And in additin to being extremely pretty,I used to wish the lady in question would be decent,God fearing,loyal,of a good character,christian by religion,and above all,intelligent. I got too used to dating pretty chicks very early in life and I'd thoought it would always contnue like that till I'm ready to settle down. Anyways,as I grew older,I began to come to terms with the reality that finding such a woman,mght just amount to a wild goose chase cos almost every man out there wants the same thing,and of course,finding such a lady might just be impossible. So,I decided to reduce my expectations and focus more on the intellect of the lady,than the looks. But that being said,the looks should also be average(I can't deal with someone not a tad bit attractive).
Even at that,it's still not workng. The ones who pick interest in you,do not look attractive enough. The ones you like are either irresponsible,not loyal/honest,too artificial,of a different relgion,not intelligent,not into you, or not serious or sure of what they want. There's also the issue of you guys not being compatible and all of these,affects both sexes(male and female).

I know for sure,that no one gets married to a perfect spouse,and that at the end of the day,we make compromises and as such,I'm not lookng for a perfect being. At some point in life,you do not limit your decisions to your own knowlege and what you think;you open up your mind to learn from others. What I'd love to learn from those who have been able to cross this bridge,is how they did it. Perhaps,some of us can learn a thing or two from it. What are the major attributes you picked out from the lady/man you settled with,and how well are you coping with their weaker parts? If you had to choose all over again,will you guys make same choices?
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by forreelinc(m): 9:45am On Oct 01, 2016
Scatter the pictures of your options in a circle and play spin the bottle

4 Likes

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by chronique(m): 9:47am On Oct 01, 2016
What's that?
forreelinc:
Scatter the pictures of your options in a circle and play spin the bottle
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Nobody: 10:49am On Oct 01, 2016

as we grow older and find that our desires aren't readily available,we tend to start reducing our standards.

you mean readjusting?
I would hate to think am with some who's managing me.


So, I have come to realise that men want ready made women as much as woman want ready made men.

I am very sure you've dated your specs in the past who probably lacked one or two things that could be worked on or managed, but because you felt there-are-many-fishes-in-the-river & time-dey, you let them go.

You don't just wake up one morning on your 35th birthday and start looking for a wife material. Everyone is a work in progress.

Besides women always aim higher and marry up. so I hope you can match the standards you set.

8 Likes

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Dyt(f): 11:09am On Oct 01, 2016
I have a list

Tall
Slim
Bald
Left handed
Stutter
Tattoo
A man that can clean
Outspoken
Hardworking
Smart
Great in bed and a wonderful man

This list
He's just short of one

That's how and why I chose him
cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by lilmax(m): 11:15am On Oct 01, 2016
Dyt:
I have a list

Tall
Slim
Bald
Left handed
Stutter
Tattoo
A man that can clean
Outspoken
Hardworking
Smart
Great in bed and a wonderful man

This list
He's just short of one

That's how and why I chose him
cheesy cheesy

11 Likes

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Nobody: 11:17am On Oct 01, 2016
Same interest
Understanding(very important)
Educated and intelligent
10 years older
Responsible
smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley

2 Likes

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Dyt(f): 11:17am On Oct 01, 2016
lilmax:
.

Clown
cheesy cheesy

Who are those liking that ppst
undecided undecided
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by misspicy(f): 11:17am On Oct 01, 2016
Make that imperfect person perfect for you.
We are humans,who can adjust(almost all Nigerians has adjusted to the recession)

Meaning,if the woman you want and have is unintelligent,develop her,if she is not physically appealing,Behind her up,no one is ugly.

No man/woman married the person that actually fits into their idea of a partner.

6 Likes

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by sisisioge: 12:33pm On Oct 01, 2016
Dyt:
I have a list

Tall
Slim
Bald
Left handed
Stutter
Tattoo
A man that can clean
Outspoken
Hardworking
Smart
Great in bed and a wonderful man

This list
He's just short of one

That's how and why I chose him
cheesy cheesy

Babe, you went out to look for stutters? Now I know you are weird! Abi you meant those ones that stumble over their words a little? I think those can be sexy... grin lucky you all the same...you found the one!

@ OP, I haven't been lucky to find the one yet although I have realized over time (going by the people I have dated) that physical attributes can't hold a candle to the innate attributes. One just gets to that point where the list just focuses on:
-Fairness in dealings
-Fearful of God
-Moral uprightness
-Intelligence
-Family Values
-Sexiiiiness(Can't be compromised)
-Well put together looks(Yeah...can't deal with shabbiness)
-Good education
-Respect

Every other good thing that comes with the person is an addendum! In my opinion, if one checks all these on the lists...you are almost there. You have the basic ingredients to start with. Na to begin pray make you get the hots for the person remain and hope its mutual.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Dyt(f): 12:39pm On Oct 01, 2016
sisisioge:


Babe, you went out to look for stutters? Now I know you are weird! Abi you meant those ones that stumble over their words a little? I think those can be sexy... grin lucky you all the same...you found the one!


Some words ni
Ofcus he's sexy
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

I know I am weird
I was looking for the one with blue eyes
Sadly I didn't find
cry cry cry
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Funjosh(m): 12:40pm On Oct 01, 2016
lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Funjosh(m): 12:40pm On Oct 01, 2016
Ok let me come back and read.
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by sisisioge: 12:48pm On Oct 01, 2016
Dyt:


Some words ni
Ofcus he's sexy
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

I know I am weird
I was looking for the one with blue eyes
Sadly I didn't find
cry cry cry

grin grin grin of course! Sexxyness carries 100% mark!
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by chronique(m): 1:14pm On Oct 01, 2016
Sorry for using the wrong word. Readjusting our expectatons to suit reality,is what I meant to say. Yes,young men and women tend to look for ready made spouses until they get matured and start facing reality. Yes,I missed the opportunities to be serious with my specs way back,but that was cos I was too yyoung to understand certain thngs and the truth is,all youngsters probably have behaved that way. That being said,I don't think my current expectations are too high. Once she's averagely attractive,intelligent,decent/loyal/honest,God fearing,good use of english, and homely,I'm good to go.
Joavid:


you mean readjusting?
I would hate to think am with some who's managing me.


So, I have come to realise that men want ready made women as much as woman want ready made men.

I am very sure you've dated your specs in the past who probably lacked one or two things that could be worked on or managed, but because you felt there-are-many-fishes-in-the-river & time-dey, you let them go.

You don't just wake up one morning on your 35th birthday and start looking for a wife material. Everyone is a work in progress.

Besides women always aim higher and marry up. so I hope you can match the standards you set.
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by chronique(m): 1:21pm On Oct 01, 2016
Have you ever tried talking to an unintelligent being? Gosh! It's a painful experience. I can manage that outside but not with someone who I'd be living the rest of my life with. I'll probably almost go gaga. And yes,no one ever marries a perfect person.
misspicy:
Make that imperfect person perfect for you.
We are humans,who can adjust(almost all Nigerians has adjusted to the recession)

Meaning,if the woman you want and have is unintelligent,develop her,if she is not physically appealing,Behind her up,no one is ugly.

No man/woman married the person that actually fits into their idea of a partner.

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by chronique(m): 1:27pm On Oct 01, 2016
Funny enough,your list isn't a bad one. More or less like my list. Only dfference is the "sexiness" cos I don't know exactly what you define as sexiness. Basically for me,averagely endowed front and back,with a good height and just normal weight,is ok. She shouldn't be skinny or fat;just in between.
sisisioge:


Babe, you went out to look for stutters? Now I know you are weird! Abi you meant those ones that stumble over their words a little? I think those can be sexy... grin lucky you all the same...you found the one!

@ OP, I haven't been lucky to find the one yet although I have realized over time (going by the people I have dated) that physical attributes can't hold a candle to the innate attributes. One just gets to that point where the list just focuses on:
-Fairness in dealings
-Fearful of God
-Moral uprightness
-Intelligence
-Family Values
-Sexiiiiness(Can't be compromised)
-Well put together looks(Yeah...can't deal with shabbiness)
-Good education
-Respect

Every other good thing that comes with the person is an addendum! In my opinion, if one checks all these on the lists...you are almost there. You have the basic ingredients to start with. Na to begin pray make you get the hots for the person remain and hope its mutual.
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by sisisioge: 1:46pm On Oct 01, 2016
chronique:
Funny enough,your list isn't a bad one. More or less like my list. Only dfference is the "sexiness" cos I don't know exactly what you define as sexiness. Basically for me,averagely endowed front and back,with a good height and just normal weight,is ok. She shouldn't be skinny or fat;just in between.

Lol...sexiiness is when he has crazy eyes, unbelievable humour, kisses right and when he just increases the room temperature just because he touches me. Hmmmmmmmm...grooooooovy cool
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Nobody: 1:58pm On Oct 01, 2016
chronique:
Sorry for using the wrong word. Readjusting our expectatons to suit reality,is what I meant to say. Yes,young men and women tend to look for ready made spouses until they get matured and start facing reality. Yes,I missed the opportunities to be serious with my specs way back,but that was cos I was too yyoung to understand certain thngs and the truth is,all youngsters probably have behaved that way. That being said,I don't think my current expectations are too high. Once she's averagely attractive,intelligent,decent/loyal/honest,God fearing,good use of english, and homely,I'm good to go.

That's good. and shouldn't be hard to find.

You just have to socialise more. I know lots of women with those qualities.

All the best.
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by chronique(m): 2:53pm On Oct 01, 2016
Oh,I see.
sisisioge:


Lol...sexiiness is when he has crazy eyes, unbelievable humour, kisses right and when he just increases the room temperature just because he touches me. Hmmmmmmmm...grooooooovy cool
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by fav444(f): 8:37pm On Oct 01, 2016
ItsQuinn:
Same interest Understanding(very important) Educated and intelligent 10 years older Responsible smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley

10 Kini? Ha!
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by fav444(f): 8:49pm On Oct 01, 2016
sisisioge:


Babe, you went out to look for stutters? Now I know you are weird! Abi you meant those ones that stumble over their words a little? I think those can be sexy... grin lucky you all the same...you found the one!

@ OP, I haven't been lucky to find the one yet although I have realized over time (going by the people I have dated) that physical attributes can't hold a candle to the innate attributes. One just gets to that point where the list just focuses on:
-Fairness in dealings
-Fearful of God
-Moral uprightness
-Intelligence
-Family Values
-Sexiiiiness(Can't be compromised)
-Well put together looks(Yeah...can't deal with shabbiness)
-Good education
-Respect

Every other good thing that comes with the person is an addendum! In my opinion, if one checks all these on the lists...you are almost there. You have the basic ingredients to start with. Na to begin pray make you get the hots for the person remain and hope its mutual.


Can I send you a PM? Please
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by fav444(f): 8:56pm On Oct 01, 2016
sisisioge:


Lol...sexiiness is when he has crazy eyes, unbelievable humour, kisses right and when he just increases the room temperature just because he touches me. Hmmmmmmmm...grooooooovy cool


I almost asked u to explain this but thank goodness someone else did.
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by sisisioge: 8:59pm On Oct 01, 2016
fav444:



Can I send you a PM? Please

Babes, I can't access my PM o. Sorry wink
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Nobody: 9:04pm On Oct 01, 2016
fav444:



10 Kini? Ha!
To me 10 years over is fair enough embarassed....nothing less. Every girl has their requirements smiley wink

1 Like

Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Countrygirl(f): 10:34pm On Oct 01, 2016
let me follow this thread
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Odunharry(m): 10:44pm On Oct 01, 2016
Joavid:


you mean readjusting?
I would hate to think am with some who's managing me.


So, I have come to realise that men want ready made women as much as woman want ready made men.

I am very sure you've dated your specs in the past who probably lacked one or two things that could be worked on or managed, but because you felt there-are-many-fishes-in-the-river & time-dey, you let them go.

You don't just wake up one morning on your 35th birthday and start looking for a wife material. Everyone is a work in progress.

Besides women always aim higher and marry up. so I hope you can match the standards you set.
God bless u
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Odunharry(m): 10:47pm On Oct 01, 2016
See list grin
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Nobody: 11:03pm On Oct 01, 2016
We alk have this expectation of what and who our life partner is going to be like and will be. As i grew older i realised some of these expectations are unactualizable. so i choose to focus on the following;

Godliness
Intelligence
Industrious
sense of humor( i can joke for Africa)
Family values( it matters alot to me)

Any other good quality is a bonus.
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by pendragon35(m): 11:19pm On Oct 01, 2016
funny enough bro am not married but,such search z never easy bt alwas walk with prayers dats the best option.
My neighbours who ar nt up 1yr of marriage keep on fightng on daily basis,atimes i keep on wondering if it was those same beings that kisses at the sightest opportunity now fightng z dia hobby.........xo afraid of this institution"marriage"
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Olanna45(f): 11:42pm On Oct 01, 2016
pendragon35:
funny enough bro am not married but,such search z never easy bt alwas walk with prayers dats the best option.
My neighbours who ar nt up 1yr of marriage keep on fightng on daily basis,atimes i keep on wondering if it was those same beings that kisses at the sightest opportunity now fightng z dia hobby.........xo afraid of this institution"marriage"
Lol. no need to fear the institution. just pray to marry the right one for you.

personally, i quit desiring TDH after my last affair packed up. i now look out for more concrete qualities. so i narrowed it down to;

Family values

How industrious he is. i can't deal with a lazy man biko. he will draw me back. my man has to be a source of motivation and inspiration to me.

how intelligent he is. He doesnt have to be an aristole, but atleast, let him be able to hold an intelligent conversation.

sense of humor. Choi, i can't trade that for anything.
Every other good thing na jara.

I am yet to come across someone that fits into these qualities. untill then....
Re: How Did You Choose Your Partners? by Nobody: 7:14am On Oct 02, 2016
Am curious. what do you mean by family values?

(1) (2) (Reply)

About The Ministry Of Help / Should I Stop Helping Anyone Living In Nigeria? / Me And My Husband Syndrome

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 72
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.