Did you see my profile picture? Look at it again. I'm thinking of using a better picture! First of all, I'm a young man, I want to project online self esteem. I want girls to fall for me by mere looking at the picture. Do you know how it works? I need to visualise my "social category placement" either upper class, middle, lower or no class! I can emulate the following: Chief Executive Officer of a business that doesn't exist, force man without recruitment, student of no institution, factory worker that produces nothing, yahoo or yahoo plus boy who doesn't know how to operate computers, son of a bigman who is a gate man in a nearby private primary school.

My choice: Chief Executive Officer

I need to get one good suit; sources doesn't matter; it could be through borrow, hire, stealing or one for laundry. Dress up with a agood looking well noded tie; sources doesn't matter.

I need an expensive looking car; sources doesn't matter, go to a car dealer, seek permission to pose, standby the one parked during occasion in my neighbourhood, use my pastor's own; sources doesn't matter.

I need a big and well finished build. Very simple! I'm already a bricklayer and a painter too! I can pose in any of the numerous gigantic buildings I had painted or all this different offices that I had painted in the past, even pose in one of the executive upholstery with all those gadgets around the table or simply stand in the premises.

I need to work on the picture! Very simple, the magical Photoshop can do the bidding, recolours, reshape, blend and blur the black spots, filters, perfect touch to give me that ajebota look, then I'm good to go straight to nairaland.

In nairaland, I have to comment on an issues that are not even relevant to what I know; even the ones I know nothing about just to attract attentions! Then in my profile I shall put my phone number boldly where everybody can see it; as you know, nairaland has so many hidden spots I must avoid those nooks and crannies.

My image online will be larger than life!

Finally, I shall start mentioning, quoting and liking and sharing only the females, but the mistakes will be, there are many gender confused Nairalanders who are neither male nor female, gay nor lesbian, homosexual nor heterosexual, unisexual nor bisexual. I can end up romancing a fellow man without knowing it. Last time I spotted a hidden phone number in a profile with a beautiful female picture, in fact the lady was a diva, I quickly wrote down the number, when I got free airtime from Etisalat load one get two promo, I decided to call. I called on Sunday morning because I was always pessimistic about profile photos online; Sunday morning will take him unaware I was right. Bros! A thick male bass voice echoed at the other end! Hello, who is it! I quickly switched of my phone, throughout that day, I didn't on my phone. Never again did I seek hidden profile phone numbers.


Broses! Na joke oh!

Thanks, if you burn your time reading such a dry joke!