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Pls I Nid Ur Advise. - Family (2) - Nairaland

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26 And Still Living With My Parents (advise) / See Advise Woman Received After She Caught Her Husband Assaulting Her Sister / My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by babythug(f): 11:24pm On Oct 08, 2016
This scenario depicts the type of trash some men subject thier wives to! The wife has to accept or be seen as not submissive or not ready for marriage ! If the uncle had no house won't the husband source a place for his family?

@ Ajity you've received some good tips here from other posters!

Act fast

1 Like

Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by cococandy(f): 8:24am On Oct 09, 2016
The main problem is that your husband's uncle invited you guys to live with him without her approval. Buying food bla bla bla is commendable but may not solve the problem. You guys should move out pls.

I don't know why people do stuff like this. Married couple moving into someone else's matrimonial home. Next thing you know you guys will start having kids in their house and it will become a communal/village house. Is there a concrete plan to complete your own house in place? You can't live there saying you will move when you complete your house. Something we know might take years to happen.
I wouldn't like that if I was your uncle's wife.
Move out pls. I don't know how you intend to communicate that to your husband but pls do.

4 Likes

Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by Ajity: 9:06am On Oct 09, 2016
@cococandy she knws we ar coming, initially d house was built for 2wives cos d uncle has 2 wives.. D house has 2 parlors and 5 rooms, each parlor has 2rooms den a guest room and only 1 kitchen buh because 1 of d wives refuse to move in wit d Man dats y He asked my hubby to come join dem cos He was still single den buh I was aware cos we were still courting den.... So my hubby is using d parlor mean for d oda wife and room... So i tink d problem is d cooking stuff

Some issue has occur in d past wich ws cause by her wich made d Man flare up dat we should start cooking seperately to avoid such again buh is dis same woman dat refuse dT y ar we goin to cook seperately in dis type of house and nw here she is complaining

I understand d economic reccession d only tin tym we eat together is @@nite cos I av a shop and hubby comes home on weekends buh she wil still complain


She might b tired of US I dont knw buh wat can I do... Am nt hapi abt d whole mess too buh I knw Gods time is d best
We go get my seperate foodstuff dis wk and all oda tiinz I nid

Thank u all

1 Like

Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by InformedLola(f): 9:20am On Oct 09, 2016
EfemenaXY:



You don't sound very smart and I bet you don't work either.


That's harsh and unnecessary to pass your point.

3 Likes

Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by slimmaintenance(m): 12:04pm On Oct 09, 2016
Since you arent paying rent, buying gas and assisting in house cores shouldn't be hard for you and hubby. These will balance the inconvenience you guys are giving them cos its truly an inconvenience. Alternatively, you guys can move in their BQ. It will make you guys to be on your own if its a must, you will stay with your Uncle.
Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by cococandy(f): 4:14pm On Oct 09, 2016
The problem is not whether she knew or not. It's whether she approved from her heart.
If your husband's uncle is the type that's lord unto himself, she might have agreed at face value so as not to upset him.

Use your number six and get your husband to agree with you. Before you guys lose your remaining dignity.

Ajity:
@cococandy she knws we ar coming, initially d house was built for 2wives cos d uncle has 2 wives.. D house has 2 parlors and 5 rooms, each parlor has 2rooms den a guest room and only 1 kitchen buh because 1 of d wives refuse to move in wit d Man dats y He asked my hubby to come join dem cos He was still single den buh I was aware cos we were still courting den.... So my hubby is using d parlor mean for d oda wife and room... So i tink d problem is d cooking stuff

Some issue has occur in d past wich ws cause by her wich made d Man flare up dat we should start cooking seperately to avoid such again buh is dis same woman dat refuse dT y ar we goin to cook seperately in dis type of house and nw here she is complaining

I understand d economic reccession d only tin tym we eat together is @@nite cos I av a shop and hubby comes home on weekends buh she wil still complain


She might b tired of US I dont knw buh wat can I do... Am nt hapi abt d whole mess too buh I knw Gods time is d best
We go get my seperate foodstuff dis wk and all oda tiinz I nid

Thank u all

2 Likes

Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by mamadsquare: 4:39pm On Oct 09, 2016
Ajity:


Some issue has occur in d past wich ws cause by her wich made d Man flare up dat we should start cooking seperately to avoid such again buh is dis same woman dat refuse dT y ar we goin to cook seperately in dis type of house and nw here she is complaining

Really! You moved into her home indefinitely, without footing any of the bills on things from which you derive utility and you say 'she is complaining'!


She might b tired of US

She is TIRED! You are in her personal space for crying out loud!


I dont knw buh wat can I do... Am nt hapi abt d whole mess too buh I knw Gods time is d best
We go get my seperate foodstuff dis wk and all oda tiinz I nid


You still don't get the point, its not about getting 'separate' stuff or things you need, its about contributing to the household. Get whatever you want to get and add to the one at home.
Don't even dare to dream of cooking your 'separate' pot in HER kitchen!

Thank u all
Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by babyfaceafrica: 6:02pm On Oct 09, 2016
MrDavidson:

Ma'am it seems you know you're the one he's directing it at (my guess). Some of your statements are very demeaning, to say the least. Saying the OP doesn't sound smart is very bad.
as in some people don't know how to talk.....how can she say she doesn't sound smart...give advise and leave...chai!!!!...saucy people everywhere

1 Like

Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by Ajity: 10:27pm On Oct 09, 2016
Dis mamadsquare is funny ooo... Well ma'am av jus decided to follow my hrt, cos is lik u carry d matter for head pass d owner and I knw u wil b d hostile type.

Am wearing d shoes and I knw wear it pinches... am jus on Nairaland to read different comment on dis cos av nt discuss dis wit any soul oda dan my hubby and I tnk u all for d comments so far.

Dis woman wil still complain even if am feeding her.. Hubby do buy foodstuff eg bag of rice, bread wen coming on weekend,yam and even fuel d gen dere is no weekend she wil buy fuel as long as hubby is @home buh jus stop it for a week or 2 na problem mayb hubby is broke or so

e. g mayb those week u stop buying u nw decide to buy mayb a top or jean for ur kids dats wen u wil hear u pple dont av moni ooo buh u can buy ur kids clothes or u dont av moni oo buh u can buy provisions for d kids.

Funny tin is her hubby and mine is doin d same kind of job buh nt wrking together ooo. So anytym hubby is broke her hubby might prolly b broke too and she wil start her wahala again

Hubby do fill gas too most tym mayb wen am cooking and it got finished I can't go to her wil jus tell hubby and we wil fill it or she sometimes ask hubby and dey wil both contribute and fill it, mayb on a gudday d gas got finished and she ask hubby and He says no moni... I swear u dare nt near d gas... Dey was a tym she told me to start making use of d stove jus because hubby dint drop moni to fill it.
Dis same woman dat is collecting extra moni frm her hubby jus cos she av extra pple @home (dats nt my problem anyway)

So u see I knw who am dealing wit, my mind is made up already... I jus nid oda pples opinion to clear my mind.
Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by mamadsquare: 10:54pm On Oct 09, 2016
If you are one to be on the defensive when you are chastised then don't bring your issues on nairaland.

If watching out on my personal space from encroachment means hostility to you, then back off!

If really you guys contribute to the upkeep of the home then strive to move out asap. These kinds of situations breed long term grudges, not just between the adults in the household but also the children as well.

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Re: Pls I Nid Ur Advise. by blank(f): 8:37am On Oct 10, 2016
It would be interesting to see how your uncle's wife takes to the new arrangements i.e for you to start cooking separately. Bring back feedback on how she took it.

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