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Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" - Family - Nairaland

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Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by bukatyne(f): 2:08pm On Oct 10, 2016
Dr. Laura Schlessinger has written another book that deserves a place on the best seller list with six of her other books, such as Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, from this unmarried man’s perspective, is an excellent manual for women on how to get want they want from men and marriage and, generally, how to be happy. Dr. Laura makes a number of important, practical points, based on her experience in private practice, from advising her radio callers, and from literally hundreds of letters and emails she received from men and women while she was writing the book. Here are the points that struck this writer, together with commentary:


1. Men Need Women, and This Need Gives Women Huge Influence. Dr. Laura states the point as follows: “[M]en are simple creatures who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration, and approval from a woman.” Women have great power and influence over men, and wives in particular have tremendous power over their husbands. How they use this power essentially controls the relationship, because women are the masters of most relationships and marriages. That’s why Dr. Laura says that she probably won’t write The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives: wives already have most of the power and their marriages depend, for the most part, on them.


2. Women Err in Favoring Children Over Husband. A friend once told this writer that once a woman has children, her husband is relegated to the moral equivalence of a piece of furniture. How sad if this is true in many marriages. Here’s how Dr. Laura puts it: “Once wives became mothers, they had no time to be wives. The men would even compliment their wives on being great mothers, but expressed considerable pain over not being shown love, affection, or sexual interest. The typical reply from a wife challenged with this was ‘I only have time to take care of one person, and our child is that person. I’m just too tired for you.’ This puts fathers in the ugly and uncomfortable position of feeling competitive with and resentful of their children, whom they love so much.”


3. Men and Women Are Different. That men and women are deeply different ought not to be notable, but for the fact that it is so often challenged today. Dr. Laura says that society tries to make both men and women “unisex.” But men are happiest being men, and women are happiest being women, with few exceptions. The differences start to manifest themselves very early. In one study Dr. Laura mentions, a barrier was placed between 1 year-old babies and their mothers. What did the little boys do? They attempted to get around the barrier or knock it down. The little girls? They cried until their mothers’ picked them up. Men tend to respond to things physically, women verbally. In fact, the two sexes are just right for each other.


4. Not Every Thought and Feeling Needs to be Said. Women tend to be so verbal, so expressive, that they can tire out men easily unless they exercise some restraint. Dr. Laura reports that wives generally overwhelm their husbands with communication. “Husbands imagine (so foolishly) that their wives are telling them something they actually need to know because they’re supposed to do something about it. Otherwise, men can’t imagine why the ‘communication’ is happening at all. It confuses them, frustrates them, and their response is to turn off. That’s when they unfairly become labeled insensitive.” Husbands and fiances are not girlfriends or psychologists, and women who want attention should adjust their communication style accordingly when speaking with them.


5. Men Are Not Mind-Readers. Most men are not very intuitive compared to most women. Many women “get caught up in the absurdly romanticized notion that ‘if he loved me, he’d just know what I’m thinking, what I’d like, what he should say.'” If a woman wants her man to do something, she should just ask him plainly, without nagging, and show appreciation when he does it. To act otherwise, as many women do, shows arrogance and lack of respect for the husband’s difference, and it leads to unhappiness in the marriage and in the family.


6. Man Is an Embodied Soul. No, Dr. Laura didn’t put it that way; “embodied soul” is a Catholic concept. But that concept is what underlies her discussion of how important it is to a man that his wife try to keep up her appearance. What does it mean that we are embodied souls? It means that our bodies are integral parts of who we are. We are not just souls. Our bodies are not like clothing that we can take on or off. There was no time during which we had only souls and not bodies, and in eternity as well we will have bodies. It is through our bodies, in fact, that we communicate to our loved ones and to the rest of the world. One thinks of the beautiful line from the old Anglican marriage rite: bride and groom pledge to each other “with my body I thee worship.” It is ironic, but in many cases men–sex-crazed pigs in the minds of many women–actually have a truer understanding of the beauty of the body and the meaning of the marital embrace than their wives do. “Objectification” may come as much or more from the woman’s side as from the husband’s if the woman sees her own body as being separate from rather than an integral part of herself. Dr. Laura writes: “In reading all the letters from men, I was struck by their depth of senstivity about the issue of women’s appearance. It wasn’t an impersonal, animal reaction (as it is with women the men don’t personally know), it was a deeply personal one. The wife’s comfort with and appreciation of her own body and femininity, and her willingness to share that with her husband, actually fed his sense of well-being, his feeling of being loved as a husband and valued as a ‘man.'”


7. Infidelity by Omission. Brides and grooms make a number of vows, not only of sexual fidelity. Marital vows include and imply words like love, honor, protect, and care for. “[W]hen one breaches those vows by neglect, is that also not a form of infidelity? Perhaps we should start looking at the act of intentionally depriving a spouse of legitimate needs as infidelity, too, because it stems from being unfaithful to the intent of the vows.”


8. In the Bedroom. To her credit, Dr. Laura gives due place to the importance for marriage of the marital act: “The bedroom is the foundation of marriage and family.” St. Josemaria Escriva, founder of Opus Dei, that supposedly conservative institution within the Church, put it this way: “The marriage bed is an altar.” Enough said?


9. Women Should Appreciate Men’s Masculinity. Dr. Laura relates a trip she made recently to a swimming pool. A mom and a dad were wading with their infant child. Mom held the child against her chest, cooed to him, and swooped him up and down. She passed the baby to dad. He turned the baby’s face outward and swooshed him forward and up into the air. “Mom equals protection and nurturance. Dad equals autonomy and adventure. It is the perfect balance that helps produce a functional, secure human being.” Too many women, though, act like Alice Kramdens, constantly belitting their husbands, shooting down their aspirations, treating them like children. Dr. Laura writes: “When a wife treats her man like he’s one of her children, when she puts him down or thwarts his need for autonomy, adventure, risk, competition, challenge, and conquest, she ends up with a sullen, unooperative, unloving, hostile lump.”


10. Thou Shalt Not Covet. Dr. Laura contributes a novel (to this writer) and insightful contemporary application of the commandment, “thou shal not covet.” Specifically, she understands it as a rebuke to people who want it all, especially feminists. “Perhaps the feminist notions about women having power if they do it all has obstructed too many women’s ability to realize that in real life we all make choices, and that the true joy and meaning of life is not in how many things we have or do, but in the sacrifice and commitment we make to others within the context of the choices we’ve made. The Tenth Commandment, about coveting, reminds us that none of us can have everything there is nor everything we want. Without enjoying and appreciating our gifts and blessings, we create a hell on earth for ourselves and for those who love us.”

https://winteryknight.com/2011/01/03/a-summary-of-dr-lauras-proper-care-and-feeding-of-husbands/
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by bukatyne(f): 2:09pm On Oct 10, 2016
So fellas, what sayest thou?

What do you agree with? disagree with? indifferent about?
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by raumdeuter: 2:19pm On Oct 10, 2016
I agree with most things the OP said

God/Nature created men and women different and to perform different roles in point 10, That is why IMO a child needs both parent( I will use both Gender because of same sex parents) In my opinion a child needs both gender to grow up balanced

There are stuffs only fathers understand and there are stuffs only mothers understand
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by bukatyne(f): 2:22pm On Oct 10, 2016
raumdeuter:
I agree with most things the OP said

God/Nature created men and women different and to perform different roles in point 10, That is why IMO a child needs both parent( I will use both Gender because of same sex parents) In my opinion a child needs both gender to grow up balanced

There are stuffs only fathers understand and there are stuffs only mothers understand

What are the little things you don't agree with?
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 2:37pm On Oct 10, 2016
But men are happiest being men, and women are happiest being women, with few exceptions. The differences start to manifest themselves very early. In one study Dr. Laura mentions, a barrier was placed between 1 year-old babies and their mothers. What did the little boys do? They attempted to get around the barrier or knock it down. The little girls? They cried until their mothers’ picked them up. Men tend to respond to things physically, women verbally. In fact, the two sexes are just right for each other
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 2:39pm On Oct 10, 2016
Finally common sense is making a comeback.
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by bukatyne(f): 2:43pm On Oct 10, 2016
5minsmadness:
Finally common sense is making a comeback.

undecided
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by raumdeuter: 2:44pm On Oct 10, 2016
bukatyne:


What are the little things you don't agree with?

Not like I disagree but I really dont understand point 6. And I wont say i agree with what I dont fully understand
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by bukatyne(f): 2:55pm On Oct 10, 2016
raumdeuter:


Not like I disagree but I really dont understand point 6. And I wont say i agree with what I dont fully understand

I believe she was saying men are interested in their women's bodies with a loving interest as opposed to them wanting rail thin or perfect wives. Relate it to sex if you will.
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 3:30pm On Oct 10, 2016
bukatyne:


I believe she was saying men are interested in their women's bodies with a loving interest as opposed to them wanting rail thin or perfect wives. Relate it to sex if you will.

I think what the writer is trying to say is, your body is just as important as your soul. Physical attraction is just as important as intellectual/behavioural attraction. In order words women should realise that men see physical attraction as a very big deal. We worship the female body, moreso when it is a female we love. When we have sex with a woman we love, its much more than just a romp between the sheets and sexual gratification, its a deep physical and emotional connection. We yearn to give as much pleasure as we recieve. In fact most men reach climax faster from the visual confirmation that we are giving pleasure to the woman. That is why a man's sense of sexual achievement comes when he makes his woman climax. We dont just have sex, we make love.


Something like that anyway.

3 Likes

Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 5:40pm On Oct 10, 2016
I think point 6 refers to men valuing a woman's body because of the affection they might have for her. And because they love a woman, they naturally want the best for her body and even when this best cannot be achieved, they don't really mind as they aren't fixated on that aspect of the whole person that she is. Also that men aren't as forgiving/lenient to women they barely know. grin

Also, men are happy when their wives surrender their bodies willingly to them when copulating, especially when she has taken good care of her body(vessel).

I agree with this and the other points very much.

PS: Laura says her male respondents says her male respondents tell her this makes them "feel like a man". Just a friendly nudge to those who hoard the cookie from hubby

2 Likes

Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 7:19pm On Oct 10, 2016
bukatyne:


1. Men Need Women, and This Need Gives Women Huge Influence. Dr. Laura states the point as follows: “[M]en are simple creatures who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration, and approval from a woman.” Women have great power and influence over men, and wives in particular have tremendous power over their husbands. How they use this power essentially controls the relationship, because women are the masters of most relationships and marriages. That’s why Dr. Laura says that she probably won’t write The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives: wives already have most of the power and their marriages depend, for the most part, on them.

I would say that it takes two to tango.


2. Women Err in Favoring Children Over Husband. A friend once told this writer that once a woman has children, her husband is relegated to the moral equivalence of a piece of furniture. How sad if this is true in many marriages. Here’s how Dr. Laura puts it: “Once wives became mothers, they had no time to be wives. The men would even compliment their wives on being great mothers, but expressed considerable pain over not being shown love, affection, or sexual interest. The typical reply from a wife challenged with this was ‘I only have time to take care of one person, and our child is that person. I’m just too tired for you.’ This puts fathers in the ugly and uncomfortable position of feeling competitive with and resentful of their children, whom they love so much.”

Does this woman have children? It sounds like children only require attention, time and energy from their mothers but it's not like that. Children change everything. They need a lot of time and energy. After spending the day with the mother, the father will come home and the kids will be all over him. They are in between all the time when they are little until you have them in bed ... FINALLY! cheesy

What do you want to do when your two-year-old wants your attention (and they want a lot of it), lock it up?

3. Men and Women Are Different. That men and women are deeply different ought not to be notable, but for the fact that it is so often challenged today. Dr. Laura says that society tries to make both men and women “unisex.” But men are happiest being men, and women are happiest being women, with few exceptions. The differences start to manifest themselves very early. In one study Dr. Laura mentions, a barrier was placed between 1 year-old babies and their mothers. What did the little boys do? They attempted to get around the barrier or knock it down. The little girls? They cried until their mothers’ picked them up. Men tend to respond to things physically, women verbally. In fact, the two sexes are just right for each other.

So?


4. Not Every Thought and Feeling Needs to be Said. Women tend to be so verbal, so expressive, that they can tire out men easily unless they exercise some restraint. Dr. Laura reports that wives generally overwhelm their husbands with communication. “Husbands imagine (so foolishly) that their wives are telling them something they actually need to know because they’re supposed to do something about it. Otherwise, men can’t imagine why the ‘communication’ is happening at all. It confuses them, frustrates them, and their response is to turn off. That’s when they unfairly become labeled insensitive.” Husbands and fiances are not girlfriends or psychologists, and women who want attention should adjust their communication style accordingly when speaking with them.

Generalization. Men and women are not opposite ends of a spectrum as this book and some people imply. Some women talk a lot, my best friend barely talks at all. grin Another friend's husband considers communication key and will discuss EVERYTHING and communicte EVERY feeling.

5. Men Are Not Mind-Readers. Most men are not very intuitive compared to most women. Many women “get caught up in the absurdly romanticized notion that ‘if he loved me, he’d just know what I’m thinking, what I’d like, what he should say.'” If a woman wants her man to do something, she should just ask him plainly, without nagging, and show appreciation when he does it. To act otherwise, as many women do, shows arrogance and lack of respect for the husband’s difference, and it leads to unhappiness in the marriage and in the family.

Tell him to take out the garbage to find out that it's still there the next morning. grin


6. Man Is an Embodied Soul. No, Dr. Laura didn’t put it that way; “embodied soul” is a Catholic concept. But that concept is what underlies her discussion of how important it is to a man that his wife try to keep up her appearance. What does it mean that we are embodied souls? It means that our bodies are integral parts of who we are. We are not just souls. Our bodies are not like clothing that we can take on or off. There was no time during which we had only souls and not bodies, and in eternity as well we will have bodies. It is through our bodies, in fact, that we communicate to our loved ones and to the rest of the world. One thinks of the beautiful line from the old Anglican marriage rite: bride and groom pledge to each other “with my body I thee worship.” It is ironic, but in many cases men–sex-crazed pigs in the minds of many women–actually have a truer understanding of the beauty of the body and the meaning of the marital embrace than their wives do. “Objectification” may come as much or more from the woman’s side as from the husband’s if the woman sees her own body as being separate from rather than an integral part of herself. Dr. Laura writes: “In reading all the letters from men, I was struck by their depth of senstivity about the issue of women’s appearance. It wasn’t an impersonal, animal reaction (as it is with women the men don’t personally know), it was a deeply personal one. The wife’s comfort with and appreciation of her own body and femininity, and her willingness to share that with her husband, actually fed his sense of well-being, his feeling of being loved as a husband and valued as a ‘man.'”

Were our grandmothers not chubby or even fat? Did they work out in the gym three times a week? Did their marriages last nonetheless?
Is Angelina Jolie not in shape? Yet her marriage failed.


7. Infidelity by Omission. Brides and grooms make a number of vows, not only of sexual fidelity. Marital vows include and imply words like love, honor, protect, and care for. “[W]hen one breaches those vows by neglect, is that also not a form of infidelity? Perhaps we should start looking at the act of intentionally depriving a spouse of legitimate needs as infidelity, too, because it stems from being unfaithful to the intent of the vows.”

Maybe - just maybe- in modern day marriages too much emphasis is placed on emotional needs even though marriage was designed for pragmatic purpose. It includes some form of care (e.g. cooking) and protection (finances) but the romantic love notion that is required for people to get and stay married is quite new. In fact, it is something that was developed in the 20th century. Correct me if I am wrong or ask your grandparents. wink


8. In the Bedroom. To her credit, Dr. Laura gives due place to the importance for marriage of the marital act: “The bedroom is the foundation of marriage and family.” St. Josemaria Escriva, founder of Opus Dei, that supposedly conservative institution within the Church, put it this way: “The marriage bed is an altar.” Enough said?

Oh yes! cheesygrin

But the reality is that children often change that and familarity turns to boredom. I remember the thread that was up here a few days ago about singles and their fears about marriage. How many people said that they are scared of having to be faithful to one person for decades and of boredom. Go and figure. wink


9. Women Should Appreciate Men’s Masculinity. Dr. Laura relates a trip she made recently to a swimming pool. A mom and a dad were wading with their infant child. Mom held the child against her chest, cooed to him, and swooped him up and down. She passed the baby to dad. He turned the baby’s face outward and swooshed him forward and up into the air. “Mom equals protection and nurturance. Dad equals autonomy and adventure. It is the perfect balance that helps produce a functional, secure human being.” Too many women, though, act like Alice Kramdens, constantly belitting their husbands, shooting down their aspirations, treating them like children. Dr. Laura writes: “When a wife treats her man like he’s one of her children, when she puts him down or thwarts his need for autonomy, adventure, risk, competition, challenge, and conquest, she ends up with a sullen, unooperative, unloving, hostile lump.”

I have made the same observation.



10. Thou Shalt Not Covet. Dr. Laura contributes a novel (to this writer) and insightful contemporary application of the commandment, “thou shal not covet.” Specifically, she understands it as a rebuke to people who want it all, especially feminists. “Perhaps the feminist notions about women having power if they do it all has obstructed too many women’s ability to realize that in real life we all make choices, and that the true joy and meaning of life is not in how many things we have or do, but in the sacrifice and commitment we make to others within the context of the choices we’ve made. The Tenth Commandment, about coveting, reminds us that none of us can have everything there is nor everything we want. Without enjoying and appreciating our gifts and blessings, we create a hell on earth for ourselves and for those who love us.”

I don't agree. I don't consider my family a sacrifice. Have I already said it? cheesy



The author has touched upon many interesting topics but has not offered any solutions that have not already been out there.
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by bukatyne(f): 10:35am On Oct 12, 2016
5minsmadness:


I think what the writer is trying to say is, your body is just as important as your soul. Physical attraction is just as important as intellectual/behavioural attraction. In order words women should realise that men see physical attraction as a very big deal. We worship the female body, moreso when it is a female we love. When we have sex with a woman we love, its much more than just a romp between the sheets and sexual gratification, its a deep physical and emotional connection. We yearn to give as much pleasure as we recieve. In fact most men reach climax faster from the visual confirmation that we are giving pleasure to the woman. That is why a man's sense of sexual achievement comes when he makes his woman climax. We dont just have sex, we make love.


Something like that anyway.

Timbuktou:
I think point 6 refers to men valuing a woman's body because of the affection they might have for her. And because they love a woman, they naturally want the best for her body and even when this best cannot be achieved, they don't really mind as they aren't fixated on that aspect of the whole person that she is. Also that men aren't as forgiving/lenient to women they barely know. grin
Also, men are happy when their wives surrender their bodies willingly to them when copulating, especially when she has taken good care of her body(vessel).
I agree with this and the other points very much.
PS: Laura says her male respondents says her male respondents tell her this makes them "feel like a man". Just a friendly nudge to those who hoard the cookie from hubby

See you guys fixation on sex/female body tongue

So you guys acknowledge men need women? Laughing in Spanish grin

She equally authored another feeding and proper care of marriages... can't seem to find a good summary like this.

Hint hint: She doesn't believe in una the 'head' makes the final/sole decisions. grin

1 Like

Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by bukatyne(f): 10:44am On Oct 12, 2016
Mindfulness:


I would say that it takes two to tango.




Does this woman have children? It sounds like children only require attention, time and energy from their mothers but it's not like that. Children change everything. They need a lot of time and energy. After spending the day with the mother, the father will come home and the kids will be all over him. They are in between all the time when they are little until you have them in bed ... FINALLY! cheesy

What do you want to do when your two-year-old wants your attention (and they want a lot of it), lock it up?



So?




Generalization. Men and women are not opposite ends of a spectrum as this book and some people imply. Some women talk a lot, my best friend barely talks at all. grin Another friend's husband considers communication key and will discuss EVERYTHING and communicte EVERY feeling.



Tell him to take out the garbage to find out that it's still there the next morning. grin




Were our grandmothers not chubby or even fat? Did they work out in the gym three times a week? Did their marriages last nonetheless?
Is Angelina Jolie not in shape? Yet her marriage failed.




Maybe - just maybe- in modern day marriages too much emphasis is placed on emotional needs even though marriage was designed for pragmatic purpose. It includes some form of care (e.g. cooking) and protection (finances) but the romantic love notion that is required for people to get and stay married is quite new. In fact, it is something that was developed in the 20th century. Correct me if I am wrong or ask your grandparents. wink




Oh yes! cheesygrin

But the reality is that children often change that and familarity turns to boredom. I remember the thread that was up here a few days ago about singles and their fears about marriage. How many people said that they are scared of having to be faithful to one person for decades and of boredom. Go and figure. wink




I have made the same observation.





I don't agree. I don't consider my family a sacrifice. Have I already said it? cheesy



The author has touched upon many interesting topics but has not offered any solutions that have not already been out there.

This your post na another thread on its own kiss

I agree with you that there are generalizations of what men like/are ditto women.

She has other books such as proper care and feeding of marriages... still looking for the summary to bring here.

She's of the school of thought that a lot of men are good husbands and their wives treat them like children/babies which in-turn make them 'bad' and the wives changing makes their husbands return to default.

Reminds me of team 'foreign women are better' and the 'men are babies' chants we see here.

I kind of prefer their perspective of marriage (even their conservative/anti-feminist/self-styled feminist authors) than ours. However, their idea of bringing up kids is odd to me.
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 10:55am On Oct 12, 2016
bukatyne:


This your post na another thread on its own kiss

I agree with you that there are generalizations of what men like/are ditto women.

She has other books such as proper care and feeding of marriages... still looking for the summary to bring here.

She's of the school of thought that a lot of men are good husbands and their wives treat them like children/babies which in-turn make them 'bad' and the wives changing makes their husbands return to default.

Reminds me of team 'foreign women are better' and the 'men are babies' chants we see here.

I kind of prefer their perspective of marriage (even their conservative/anti-feminist/self-styled feminist authors) than ours. However, their idea of bringing up kids is odd to me.

Don't they want to be treated like babies? Cleaned after and cooked for? gringrin

I find her views irritating. Women focus on their children too much? It's a mother's job to give her little one as much attention as the child needs and caring fathers do the same. The relationship between the couple is less important for some time and until the child develops some autonomy. If you can't deal with it, don't have kids. Simples.
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 1:36pm On Oct 12, 2016
bukatyne:




See you guys fixation on sex/female body tongue

So you guys acknowledge men need women? Laughing in Spanish grin

She equally authored another feeding and proper care of marriages... can't seem to find a good summary like this.

Hint hint: She doesn't believe in una the 'head' makes the final/sole decisions. grin

Not really fixation as much as programmed genetic attraction, which has kept humanity going. It's as natural as breathing, any man without this "fixation" has major issues. grin

I'm sure I've never claimed not to. In fact, it is good for a man's health that he has a woman to care for him.

The woman is tesearchingvwhat she's been taught and has found that feminist propaganda about Ze Patriarchy is just bollocks. Both genders need each other, and gender roles, contrary to "enlightened" thinking, isn't just a social construct. I would like to read s summary of this book if you do find it.

Hint, hint: Reverend King claims to be a man of God. grin grin grin grin. People say all sorts of stuff, bit it's their actions that determine what the truly believe in and how they really see life.
At the worst, she understands gender relations but doesn't like how it plays out or she has resigned herself to her fate. grin. *chuckle**chuckle*

1 Like

Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 4:29pm On Oct 12, 2016
bukatyne:




See you guys fixation on sex/female body tongue

So you guys acknowledge men need women? Laughing in Spanish grin

She equally authored another feeding and proper care of marriages... can't seem to find a good summary like this.

Hint hint: She doesn't believe in una the 'head' makes the final/sole decisions. grin

undecided
Where did we say men dont need women(and vice versa)?
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 4:36pm On Oct 12, 2016
Mindfulness:


Don't they want to be treated like babies? Cleaned after and cooked for? gringrin

I find her views irritating. Women focus on their children too much? It's a mother's job to give her little one as much attention as the child needs and caring fathers do the same. The relationship between the couple is less important for some time and until the child develops some autonomy. If you can't deal with it, don't have kids. Simples.

@mindfulnes what things do you do for your man that dont revolve around you and yet make him happy? Three examples would suffice.

P. S dont bother if u think i'm being too personal.
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 4:38pm On Oct 12, 2016
5minsmadness:


@mindfulnes what things do you do for your man that dont revolve around you and yet make him happy? Three examples would suffice.

Why do you want to know? cheesy
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 4:42pm On Oct 12, 2016
Mindfulness:


Why do you want to know? cheesy

Have faith. Everything isnt a trap wink. Answer first let me ask my next question.
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 4:51pm On Oct 12, 2016
5minsmadness:


Have faith. Everything isnt a trap wink. Answer first let me ask my next question.

I iron his shirts. He needs a fresh one every day.

I take his cars for inspection regularly because he would barely do it due to a busy schedule.

I cook dinner for him ans his business partners when he invites them over.

I often take care of his paperwork.

Only three? I have four. Want some more? grin
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 4:59pm On Oct 12, 2016
Thats cool. All very important.
However,

Mindfulness:


I iron his shirts. He needs a fresh one every day.

I take his cars for inspection regularly because he would barely do it due to a busy schedule.

I cook dinner for him ans his business partners when he invites them over.

I often take care of his paperwork.

Only three? I have four. Want some more? grin

All these seem like necessities to me. Like he needs you to do them. Like he would get into trouble if u didnt do them. What do you do that he doesnt need you to do, yet it makes him happy when u do it? (hope u get what i mean?)

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Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 5:34pm On Oct 12, 2016
5minsmadness:
Thats cool. All very important.
However,

All these seem like necessities to me. Like he needs you to do them. Like he would get into trouble if u didnt do them. What do you do that he doesnt need you to do, yet it makes him happy when u do it? (hope u get what i mean?)

He doesn't need me to do those things. wink
He managed to have them done before I started doing them.

I make him laugh. Is it a necessity?
Oh, and I get his favourite drinks and snacks when I know that he is going to watch his favourtie team play.

I am such a great woman. cool grin cheesy

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Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 5:40pm On Oct 12, 2016
Mindfulness:


He doesn't need me to do those things. wink
He managed to have them done before I started doing them.

I make him laugh. Is it a necessity?
Oh, and I get his favourite drinks and snacks when I know that he is going to watch his favourtie team play. (without him asking me to do so).

I am such a great woman. cool grin cheesy

Why do you do those things?
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 5:50pm On Oct 12, 2016
5minsmadness:


Why do you do those things?

I don't know. Probably because it makes me feel good. Selfishness again. The good side of it. wink
Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 6:02pm On Oct 12, 2016
Mindfulness:


I don't know. Probably because it makes me feel good. Selfishness again. The good side of it. wink
Because you love him. He is special to you. You wouldn't do those things for me even if i was your next door neighbor. Why? Cos you barely know me. And even if you did, it wouldn't have the same effect cos i'm not special to you. He is.





And if he feels neglected because of the kids and told you about it you would pay attention to his needs and not just sternly tell him to be a more caring father and 'suck it up'or not have kids next time.

Why?

Because: You don't know. Probably because it makes you feel good.
Or in other words
Because: You love him and would do it to make him happy because he is special to you and it makes you feel good.



[size=4pt]I won. Admit it[/size] grin

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Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by Nobody: 6:11pm On Oct 12, 2016
5minsmadness:

Because you love him. He is special to you. You wouldn't do those things for me even if i was your next door neighbor. Why? Cos you barely know me. And even if you did, it wouldn't have the same effect cos i'm not special to you. He is.





And if he feels neglected because of the kids and told you about it you would pay attention to his needs and not just sternly tell him to be a more caring father and 'suck it up'or not have kids next time.

Why?

Because: You don't know. Probably because it makes you feel good.
Or in other words
Because: You love him and would do it to make him happy because he is special to you and it makes you feel good.



[size=4pt]I won. Admit it[/size] grin


You are special to me too. cheesy A special nairalander. wink And I like your response a lot. It made me smile like a re.tard. grin


[size=3pt]Don't get carried away. tongue [/size]

1 Like

Re: Summary Of Laura Schlessinger's Book: "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands" by 5minsmadness: 10:05pm On Oct 12, 2016
Mindfulness:



You are special to me too. cheesy A special nairalander. wink And I like your response a lot. It made me smile like a re.tard. grin


[size=3pt]Don't get carried away. tongue [/size]



Heheheh grin

1 Like

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