newdeal:

I thought to bring this worrisome trend to general notice, it may be useful for one or two persons.

The rate at which vastly educated girls of African [mostly Naija] descent, lose their senses of self worth and sink into compromising relationships in the UK is worrisome. Let us make some distinctions here; apart from girls who were born here, every other marriageable girl here is either a legal or a not so legal   [my coinage] migrant. Those who belong to the later category are a different kettle of fish. That category requires special grace of God or special attributes to break into the class of the married! I am referring to those who belong to the first category. I work closely with a faith based NGO that deals with young adults and university students [counselling, career advise, job placements, etc] I noticed a lot of young and promising girls going into relationships that are patently doomed to fail. What do you say of a brilliant black university student running after a knife wielding Yob? [their euphemism for an aspiring criminal] or the one doing her MBA at the moment going out with a man who had 2 children from another woman he is not married to, but still see from time to time? She knew the relationship will not work, yet she is prepared to risk it, because there no better options, 
These are just few of such cases. The obvious reason is that there not enough responsible bachelors around. The few who are legally entitled to be here are either pursuing their careers or are already married. Those bachelors who have no papers and are not married are either too afraid to go near the educated girls, or busy sampling white girls, leaving only a very few who are willing to settle down with the many sisters that can offer access to Red Passport.

My blunt advise to unmarried sisters coming over here ?
Try and sort out your love life before jumping on the plane, to avoid situations like this. You are free to ignore this advise though, if your faith is big enough to see you through, but this is the reality!

tboy1:

Im sorry but this is Absolute Rubbish - from start to finish

newdeal:


My blunt advise to unmarried sisters coming over here ?
Try and sort out your love life before jumping on the plane, to avoid situations like this. You are free to ignore this advise though, if your faith is big enough to see you through, but this is the reality!

newdeal:

I thought to bring this worrisome trend to general notice, it may be useful for one or two persons.

The rate at which vastly educated girls of African [mostly Naija] descent, lose their senses of self worth and sink into compromising relationships in the UK is worrisome. Let us make some distinctions here; apart from girls who were born here, every other marriageable girl here is either a legal or a not so legal   [my coinage] migrant. Those who belong to the later category are a different kettle of fish. That category requires special grace of God or special attributes to break into the class of the married! I am referring to those who belong to the first category. I work closely with a faith based NGO that deals with young adults and university students [counselling, career advise, job placements, etc] I noticed a lot of young and promising girls going into relationships that are patently doomed to fail. What do you say of a brilliant black university student running after a knife wielding Yob? [their euphemism for an aspiring criminal] or the one doing her MBA at the moment going out with a man who had 2 children from another woman he is not married to, but still see from time to time? She knew the relationship will not work, yet she is prepared to risk it, because there are no better options, 
These are just few of such cases. The obvious reason is that there not enough responsible bachelors around. The few who are legally entitled to be here are either pursuing their careers or are already married. Those bachelors who have no papers and are not married are either too afraid to go near the educated girls, or busy sampling white girls, leaving only a very few who are willing to settle down with the many sisters that can offer access to Red Passport.

My blunt advise to unmarried sisters coming over here ?
Try and sort out your love life before jumping on the plane, to avoid situations like this. You are free to ignore this advise though, if your faith is big enough to see you through, but this is the reality!

Responsible men in general are hard to come by regardless of geographical location. The good men are nearing extinction. Its high time ladies realized that they can be somebody with out a man rather than settle for scum.

Ebonyeyes:

Responsible men in general are hard to come by regardless of geographical location. The good men are nearing extinction. Its high time ladies realized that they can be somebody with out a man rather than settle for scums of the earth.

platinumnk:

So women should accept lazy men?

or better yet force women to to be the breadwinner

bawomolo:

when you start dating a string of horrible men, the problem is you and not men.  You are what you attract

ayo84:

rubbish, i think this should be rephrased as creative,beautiful,unsophisticated and understanding women are difficult to come by.

The issue is not with us men, but i think is the ladies.we are witnessing a scenario  where material wealth is a necessity for a stable relationship,gone were the days where couples fell in luv, even without no money.but these days the lady folk have created this illusionary world where money is everything, men are imprisoned by this trend , they disregard all forms of honest simple,truly luv at first sight incidences, and chase money, hoping that after accumulating the money they now have what it takes to get any woman they want.it's all the ladies fault-their obsession with material things drive men to do what they do.

                                                                                     

newdeal:

@Tboy;
If it is absolute rubbish to you, why do you still ask 'how'?

I think he was referring to my post.

Ebonyeyes:

Responsible men in general are hard to come by regardless of geographical location. The good men are nearing extinction. Its high time ladies realized that they can be somebody with out a man rather than settle for scums of the earth.

ayo84:

rubbish, i think this should be rephrased as creative,beautiful,unsophisticated and understanding women are difficult to come by.

The issue is not with us men, but i think is the ladies.we are witnessing a scenario where material wealth is a necessity for a stable relationship,gone were the days where couples fell in luv, even without no money.but these days the lady folk have created this illusionary world where money is everything, men are imprisoned by this trend , they disregard all forms of honest simple,truly luv at first sight incidences, and chase money, hoping that after accumulating the money they now have what it takes to get any woman they want.it's all the ladies fault-their obsession with material things drive men to do what they do.

Pharoh:

@Poster Is it compulsory they have to marry Nigerian Guys? Are there not responsible guys in other parts of Africa and The World?

Pharoh:

Tone it down dear before you become misjudged . You sound too bitter sometimes when issues like this are raised about men.

Ebonyeyes:

Im not bitter hun far from it actually. Hope you are well. I agree we Nigerians gals should not seat and wait for Nigerian guys like we have been doing. There is a whole world of men out there and we should explore.

POSAKOSA1:


G B A M!

VGA:

Are we not the one complaining we dont like MR too nice, now we"re saying something else. we go to church and pray to meet MR right at the same we"re not giving these guys opportunity. we"re still looking for MR bad.

ayo84:

rubbish, i think this should be rephrased as creative,beautiful,unsophisticated and understanding women are difficult to come by.

The issue is not with us men, but i think is the ladies.we are witnessing a scenario  where material wealth is a necessity for a stable relationship,gone were the days where couples fell in luv, even without no money.but these days the lady folk have created this illusionary world where money is everything, men are imprisoned by this trend , they disregard all forms of honest simple,truly luv at first sight incidences, and chase money, hoping that after accumulating the money they now have what it takes to get any woman they want.it's all the ladies fault-their obsession with material things drive men to do what they do.

ayo84:

rubbish, i think this should be rephrased as creative,beautiful,unsophisticated and understanding women are difficult to come by.

The issue is not with us men, but i think is the ladies.we are witnessing a scenario where material wealth is a necessity for a stable relationship,gone were the days where couples fell in luv, even without no money.but these days the lady folk have created this illusionary world where money is everything, men are imprisoned by this trend , they disregard all forms of honest simple,truly luv at first sight incidences, and chase money, hoping that after accumulating the money they now have what it takes to get any woman they want.it's all the ladies fault-their obsession with material things drive men to do what they do.

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cold:

Spot on.Truth is,u loose money chasing women but u never loose women chasing money.It's the same everywhere,all that talk about 'true love' is all balderdash,there's no such thing.

POSAKOSA1:

I hate when conversations about relationships/love come up and some Arrow brings up the issues of money.


You know how many men get women who are financially comfortable and leave them anyways because men are not satisfied or get tired or them/ or women who get men with money and still CHEAT on them.

Lets be clear, people make CHOICES and money IMO has nothing to do with a successful relationship/love.

redsky1:

I could write a long essay here but I'm tired. I thank God this is no longer a problem for me cos the amount of unserious, lazy and ignorant men in this UK is simply pathetic.

I think the blame can be put at the doorsteps of both the men and women. the problem you have is that women have become very educated and career orientated and this leads to higher requirements in a partner, a lot of our boys tend to be unserious and for various reasons, be it racism, lack of confidence etc they just don't seem to be getting the good jobs and the ones that do carry the colonial mentality and believe that only oyinbo is now good enough for them.

for the women we have to admit to ourselves that we want a ready made man and tend to over look brothers that have potential but might not be that financially buoyant, therefore missing out on a possible husband material

men hear this you guys have something called wife material but we women also have something we call husband material - not all men fall into this catergory.

anyway like i said i'm tired can't concentrate on what i am writing again. hope i made at least some sense

Pharoh:

You made more sense than you can imagine because what you said was the simple truth. Both sides are to blame and the earlier we start sorting it out the better for both parties.

The obvious reason is that there not enough responsible bachelors around

tboy1:

Im sorry but this is Absolute Rubbish - from start to finish

Pharoh:


Thats one truth and option both parties will not dare to think about because the Nigerian men are also complaining in that same UK that there are no wife material around them. Why don't both party leave each other alone and go elsewhere to seek for what they truely want in a partner.