Diddyydiva:
Toks you are right this time

On the contrary, you want to believe i am right this time and not that i have been wrong all the while..

drnoel:


Yes ur statistics is very factual cos its what we have to fight with while counselling these people. I agree with asking questions and doing ur discrete research before jumping the broom but thats as far as I think it should be taken. The idea of speaking with the other spouse is wrong and will only bring bias

Well, that's true..

STFUareyouG0d:
Can't marry a divorcee tho

On the contrary, a divorcee is a better option anydday anytime but that depends on the type of divorcee you meet which boils down to making a very good due diligence.

Are never married single guys any better than the divorcee? Remember that experience is a plus.

drnoel:


Yes ur statistics is very factual cos its what we have to fight with while counseling these people. I agree with asking questions and doing ur discrete research before jumping the broom but thats as far as I think it should be taken. The idea of speaking with the other spouse is wrong and will only bring bias

@ the embolden i totally disagree...there is no bias if you are really interested in the person and even if what you hear is very terrible, at least it will give you an idea of what to do and how to make him or her a better person.

The truth is that this piece also applies to single people...if you really want to marry a man or lady and you can do a due diligence and if possible talk to the ex as the case may be,you will save yourself avoidable headache.

Op you are delusional.. Sorry but true
So u honestly think the other partner of the divorcee will honestly tell u the truth of what went wrong in their union?
For real

Mehn I can't believe this..

My dear op, no need marrying a divorcee..allow them to rest from their traumatic experiences... Do u think people are happy to be divorced..?
Honestly I wonder.

Toks2008:


@ the embolden i totally disagree...there is no bias if you are really interested in the person and even if what you hear is very terrible, at least it will give you an idea of what to do and how to make him or her a better person.

The truth is that this piece also applies to single people...if you really want to marry a man or lady and you can do a due diligence and if possible talk to the ex as the case may be,you will save yourself avoidable headache.

There's no ex on this earth that will talk good of their past exs especially when they know someone better is coming to take their place..
U are just inviting more headaches to your life by snooping around too much..
Let the sleeping dogs lie and a better person in the relationship

drnoel:


Since I have to explain an adage to you. I think its "fair to ask for you relatives to return back the dowry paid for marrying your mom", no insults meant but it is alway spoken like this in igboland before an explanation is given.

I have seen many cases of divorce and know many people that have had one, are fighting one and are currently going through one.
The necessity to meet with or speak to the partner of the person in question is irrelevant and only brings confusion. I know a friend that his Caucasian wife visited him at his base and after a long night of activity and serious all night vigil. She called him the next day after she arrived her base and asked for a divorce.
There are many questions that such actions as meeting the partner can never answer. Divorcee's are not animals or monsters like our Nigerian society likes to portray them, they are human beings with emotions and feeling. They get hurt nust like u and me, they shit, they spit and they get sick. Its only due to human weakness or failure of an action or inaction that have placed them at such receving end. They should not be stigmatized because it but rather be understood.
I could tell u many other examples but with stop here. Its a wonderful topic though. God bless.

There was a time i had a lady friend who came to visit me and she was just yapping about how impossible it will be for me and my ex to just split up after years together and that i must have done her something really terrible,bla bla bla...

You know what i did?

I gave her my ex number immediately and asked her to chat her up and that whatever she tells her is the truth. She took the number and told her that she is my friend and she would really want to know me from her perspective and the chatting began.

I was not even bothered about their chats cos i know that at the end my ex will only blab and that was exactly what happened as the lady was so dumbfounded after chatting up my ex and she said "toks,your ex needs help because she is not making any sense"...and this is just a lady friend talking and we have nothing to do together else i would have assumed she was bias.

Why am i telling you this epistle? Its to tell you that no matter how terrible an ex would like to paint you,even if 90% is a false representation, you will always have an idea of that person which is the most important.

If you know why many people divorce,you will pity the new person who marries them..this is not to say there are no good divorced people but at least try your best to really know why he or she divorced and not just jump in.

Amelian:





There's no ex on this earth that will talk good of their past exs especially when they know someone better is coming to take their place..
U are just inviting more headaches to your life by snooping around too much..
Let the sleeping dogs lie and a better person in the relationship

I totally agree with the embolden but then that is the catch..tell me all the lies you can and i will be smart enough to at least bring out the little truth in it..this is very logical innit?

Toks2008:


Sexual deprivation is a sin even in the bible but if i am a woman i will not just buy that excuse without asking some vital questions.

Infact i always love it when a new lady or man who wants to come into the life of a dirvocee to find a way of having a one on one conversation with teh ex of that person...sounds stupid but it makes sense as it will save one from avoidable heartbreak.

The bottom-line is that one should not just buy any pooh story but try to really find out what went down.

U been talking about having a one on one with the ex like that will be possible in all cases here. We are not oyinbo meen....ou4 mindset is " if I dont have you , none else will". I know of a lady who eloped cos her partner cant offer her the kinda life she want and return after sometime to "stay with her daughter". My guy refused, she went extra length to destroy the guy...another scenario is a guy who almost battered a friend cos he saw him with his ex whom he divorced.....am not against making findings but......from ex....forget

Toks2008:


I totally agree with the embolden but then that is the catch..tell me all the lies you can and i will be smart enough to at least bring out the little truth in it..this is very logical innit?

Lol, so are you a spirit that can read inbetween the lines if the ex is saying the truth or not?
Smiles u make me laugh.. Lol

Uv not seen or spoken to pathological liars.. U will be amazed.

Very insightful

Kunlegold:
The gospel truth is bf u marry a divorcee you should do a proper investigation.... I married one and I am passing thru hail. Anything can happen bc I am getting tired of her behavior.

Means u failed to find out wot makes her first marriage failed

Toks2008:
In every case of divorce, there is rarely a situation where the two parties involved will be totally willing to part and there is usually a party that wants reconciliation and another that insists that it is over.

Before you marry a divorcee please make sure you find out the reason for the divorce and if it is possible,have a discussion with the ex to hear the other side of the story and no matter the false representation given by the ex, you will still have an idea of the type of person he or she is and the reason for the divorce because in most cases, the party who insists on divorce will always have a reason to divorce again and again.

I hope this makes sense.

People need to understand that some partners are just not compatible . . . no matter how you want to look at it.

The fact that MR. A could not put up with my attitude and divorced me doesn't mean that Mr. B will divorce me for the same attitude.

If what you posted were true, then people shouldn't even date those who have broken up from any committed relationship in the past.

People may, in marriage, make the extra effort to make things work, but a doomed relationship will always be doomed, married or NOT.

For This Recession, How Can A Man Think Of getting Married To A Divorcee When Single And Searching Girls N Ladies Abound. Op, This Topic They Somehow Nah. Dont Worry Hunger Don Make Man Wise O

nelsonjj:
For This Recession, How Can A Man Think Of getting Married To A Divorcee When Single And Searching Girls N Ladies Abound. Op, This Topic They Somehow Nah. Dont Worry Hunger Don Make Man Wise O

Stop fooling yourself some divorcees are far better than the never married.

Technically every man or woman who have been in and out of a committed affair is a divorcee.

Toks2008:


Sexual deprivation is a sin even in the bible but if i am a woman i will not just buy that excuse without asking some vital questions.

Infact i always love it when a new lady or man who wants to come into the life of a dirvocee to find a way of having a one on one conversation with teh ex of that person...sounds stupid but it makes sense as it will save one from avoidable heartbreak.

The bottom-line is that one should not just buy any pooh story but try to really find out what went down.

Don't waste your time.the stubborn goats will never listen to intelligent advice. my sister almost fell for this. she almost married a "divorced" pastor in the name of desperation. today she is happily married.

My dear God bless u. A lot of christians forget the bible says narrow is the way to heaven. An asian woman was taken to heaven and she said the road is so narrow that nothing extra can go in, however little it seems like small small lies, unforgiveness. God's word and standard never change. Only man changes with time. God help us.


[quote authorIamMissMarvel post=50275146]Toh. My mum and I still had this conversation yesterday.

God NEVER intended for any marriage to lead to divorce. The only ground Jesus gave in the book of Matthew was Infidelity. Yet, both parties can't marry after the divorce else, they become guilty of Adultery.

Yet, the bible asked that we forgive our neighbours 70 times 7 times a day (correct me if I'm wrong), so, how can one person commit adultery 70 times 7 times a day that we can't forgive, yet, we ask God daily for Mercy even tho we sin against Him countless times a day.

This is why it is very important to seek God's face before jumping into marriage, do things the way God has instructed, so when you're in a fix, you can go to Him and ask Him to fix it.

But now, we see biblical standards as "Old School".[/quote]

Ujoan:


People need to understand that some partners are just not compatible . . . no matter how you want to look at it.

The fact that MR. A could not put up with my attitude and divorced me doesn't mean that Mr. B will divorce me for the same attitude.

If what you posted were true, then people shouldn't even date those who have broken up from any committed relationship in the past.

People may, in marriage, make the extra effort to make things work, but a doomed relationship will always be doomed, married or NOT.

Its all depending on the attitude in question and the degree of unrepentant nastyness of the attitude.

Femiwilli:
Good One OP.

One of the reason's I knew that Adeboye is not of God.
His pastors divorce and remarries.

the bible is clear that if you marry a divorcee, you are committing a adultery.
Not committed but committing so it's a continuous process .

Matthew 5:32
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication,
causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication,
and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mr man, you better watch your mouth. Know what you say before you say it. If you are not a member of RCCG, please open up your mouth and ask God for forgiveness. Hope you know the devil knows the bible too, so those verse you quoted up there can be quoted by anybody.

As a matter of fact do you know Pastor Ituah Ighodalo?? Please make research on Pastor Ituah Ighodalo

STENON:
The best is to run away from divorcee.



They are always nice, God-Fearing and caring at the beginning in order to attract opposite sex.

You are very quaret but aas the saying goes, a leopard cannnot change its spots.

[quote author=nelsonjj post=50279451]For This Recession, How Can A Man Think Of getting Married To A Divorcee When Single And Searching Girls N Ladies Abound. Op, This Topic They Somehow Nah. Dont Worry Hunger Don Make Man Wise O[/quot



Exactly my thought..
Why should anyone leave a single lady and get married to a divorcee?

viktor01:


You are very quaret but aas the saying goes, a leopard cannnot change its spots.

It is a matter of time...They would soon start to exhibit their worst character.

[[b]what about gambling habits, shameless infidelity acts, stealing and every rehabilitation exercise has proved ineffective?[/b]




quote author=Toks2008 post=50259506]

Many people now use flimsy adjectives to buttress their premeditated act of divorce..emotional abuse,irreconcilable differences bla bla bla..

Talk about physical abuse and i will agree and i mean wife or husband battering...any other reason is a facade.

But then as i wrote, investigate and you wil know if the divorce is justified.[/quote]

Makes sense. No matter how badly you're driven by love, always ensure to study the past because oftentimes it revolves around just like a trend cycle.

alexiej:

PS: GOD HATES DIVORCE

GBAM

ednut1:
makes no sense. which ex will give u audience self. plenty single babes dey around why i go con dey look divorcee

Some divorcees are better than the young and unmarried ladies.

hamilton62:

in marriage both partners are pushed to the wall... the truth is that when you loss faith in your marriage, nothing can savour it... and some people really lack the knowledge of marriage, thinking it is a bed of roses or bf and gf stuff...
what do you think about these?
Downloads •
Parallel Verses
King James Version
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish
plucketh it down with her hands.
Darby Bible Translation
The wisdom of women buildeth their house; but folly
plucketh it down with her hands.
World English Bible
Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one
tears it down with her own hands.
Young's Literal Translation
Every wise woman hath builded her house, And the foolish
with her hands breaketh it down.
Proverbs 14:1 Parallel

Commentary
Geneva Study Bible
Every wise woman {a} buildeth her house: but the foolish
plucketh it down with her hands.
(a) That is, takes pains to profit her family, and to do that
which concerns her duty in her house. Proverbs 14:1

women are home builders and that is why their kids take more care of them than men
so men no dey try sha

I agree with you, but how about a case of domestic violence where the woman is being turned to a dumping bag on a daily basis. Will you agree she risks her life for a marriage that isn't going anywhere?

Mimzyy:


I do not have a problem with the part you mentioned. What i have a prob with is where Toks stated that "...the party who insists on divorce will always have a reason to divorce again and again...".

The above quoted is all shades of wrong.

I doubt seriously if you are married because of your submissions herein. The OP is spot on.
There is no perfect marriage anywhere in the world, the happy families you see, are products of continued resilience and tolerance.

First, you must understand that the institution called marriage is under serious and CONTINUOUS attack by the devil. So, some things happening in marriages are spiritually manipulated and can only be understood by married people.

So, if a husband/wife offends the other and he/she is truly sorry, then the one insisting on divorce is either unforgiving or has no regard for marriage. Such person will always have reasons to walk away from subsequent marriage (s).

He rightly captured it when he said "there is a party that isn't willing to divorce". If you are lucky to have a remorseful and apologetic partner who wants the marriage intact, you should be happy and forgiving. Then follow up with prayers.

From experience, the party who is insistent on divorce thinks the grass is greener on the other side.

lanreni:

Don't waste your time.the stubborn goats will never listen to intelligent advice. my sister almost fell for this. she almost married a "divorced" pastor in the name of desperation. today she is happily married.

As I wrote, there is absolutely nothing wrong in marrying a divorcee but what I advised is that due diligence be done to know why he or she was divorced.

Some people have good reasons for divorcing while some have lame excuses and if the divorcee you are considering marrying falls into the latter category then I will simply tell you to run or stand the risk of wasting your time with such.

histemple:


I doubt seriously if you are married because of your submissions herein. The OP is spot on.
There is no perfect marriage anywhere in the world, the happy families you see, are products of continued resilience and tolerance.

First, you must understand that the institution called marriage is under serious and CONTINUOUS attack by the devil. So, some things happening in marriages are spiritually manipulated and can only be understood by married people.

So, if a husband/wife offends the other and he/she is truly sorry, then the one insisting on divorce is either unforgiving or has no regard for marriage. Such person will always have reasons to walk away from subsequent marriage (s).

He rightly captured it when he said "there is a party that isn't willing to divorce". If you are lucky to have a remorseful and apologetic partner who wants the marriage intact, you should be happy and forgiving. Then follow up with prayers.

From experience, the party who is insistent on divorce thinks the grass is greener on the other side.

Brilliant.

Toks2008:
In every case of divorce, there is rarely a situation where the two parties involved will be totally willing to part and there is usually a party that wants reconciliation and another that insists that it is over.

Before you marry a divorcee please make sure you find out the reason for the divorce and if it is possible,have a discussion with the ex to hear the other side of the story and no matter the false representation given by the ex, you will still have an idea of the type of person he or she is and the reason for the divorce because in most cases, the party who insists on divorce will always have a reason to divorce again and again.

Marriage is a union between two forgivers and if you cannot forgive a spouse who is sorry then what is the guaranty that your next marriage will work?

So ladies and guys, before you marry a divorcee, be sure to find out why that person is leaving his or her marriage because no matter how innocuous that person may look to you,you must understand that many people are like the leopard who never change its spots and most often, any party who insists on divorce especially due to irreconcilable differences will always have reason to divorce the new partner because even if you change partners a million times, there will always be irreconcilable differences.

I hope this makes sense.

This does not make sense one bit!

How did you ever come about the coloured part?
There are millions of people who found TRUE LOVE in their second marriage, Male and Female, and lived together till death!

BTW: there are things that cant be forgiven, or "forgotten", which makes re-unification IMPOSSIBLE and DIVORCE the ONLY ALTERNATIVE!
For[b] example[/b], Man caught his wife with his Brother!

Also, there are times when a divorce is better alternative than forcing two "mad humans" to live under the same roof!
Although, l think it should not be taken for granted, due to its effects on the children, if any

dotedote:
[[b]what about gambling habits, shameless infidelity acts, stealing and every rehabilitation exercise has proved ineffective?[/b]

Do you know that 90% of women who go into marriages with supposedly bad guys or guys with bad habits knew all along that the guy has such traits but the problem is that they always believe they can change that person.

So the truth is that marriage is not a walk in the park and every marriage has its own peculiar problems and until we are ready to have high level of tolerance,we should not bother getting married.