Jarizod's Book Of Jokes - Jokes Etc (3)

Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,147,987 members, 7,799,383 topics. Date: Tuesday, 16 April 2024 at 08:03 PM

Jarizod's Book Of Jokes - Jokes Etc (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Jarizod's Book Of Jokes (48955 Views)

Huncho's Book Of Jokes / All New Sort Of Jokes. +updated+ / Chronicles Of Jokes (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 1:01am On Oct 25, 2016

Pastor received chicken as charity from a
certain farm.. Unfortunately One expensive
cockk went missing...the next day, Pastor
asked the congregation:"Who has a cocck?"All the men got up..."No, I mean who has seen a
cockk?"All d women got up..."No, no, I meant
who has seen a cockk that isn't theirs?"Half of
the women got up..."Oh my goodness!!Who
has seen my cocck?"All the choir girls stood up.

8 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 1:07am On Oct 25, 2016

[b]
***DAIRY OF LALASTICLALA grin

***

I Promised Felicia 10k Last Week As We Were
Chatting on BBM. She Came To Abuja Yesterday, An
Unexpected Visit. Dis Morning, She Asked Me Of
The 10k I Promised Her. I Then Told Her Dat I Want
To Leave For Makurdi In The Next 5mins. I Gave Her My First Bank ATM Card Dat She Should Take It nd
Withdraw All She Wanted
(Knowing Fully Well Dat I
Had Less Dan 3k In Dat Account).
As Soon As She Kissed Me & Left, I Quickly Left The
House Knowing Dat She Will Kom Crying Back To
Me.
As I Got To AYA Junction,
Moses My Elder Brother Called Me On The Phone Saying "Lucky,You
Don Get The Alert, I Just Dey Komot From FirstBank
oh! I Don Pay That 80k Wey I Been Owe Ƴöů Into Ƴöůr Account, Thanks"...
Mheen!!! See Sweat!!!
Few Minutes Later, I Got The Alert!! Confirm 80k Credited.
I Wan Die As d Money
Enter.
Tried calling Felicia's phone, Switched Off. Tried PING!!! PING!!! No Delivery.
The Next minute, Alerts: 20k Debited,
20k Debited,
20k debited,
20k debited.
Even the Last 2k Withdrawn... I No Know Wetin Happen To Me, I Found Myself On
Hospital Bed.
Now They Are Asking Me What
Happened?
But Wot Will I Say

[/b]

10 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 6:29am On Oct 25, 2016

Smallville10:
Trapqueen77, sinaj, mackbrooklyn, fairlyusedpant, presh900, honeygirl17, STFUareuG0d, kisschris, lawladey, Cyndyonyx ... Oya u people should come and see... Oga jari.rod say u should come and yaf

I dey here o

Anti-spam BOT don rape My main

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 6:33am On Oct 25, 2016

KissChrix:

I dey here o

Anti-spam BOT don rape My main

Hahahaah.. Oohh tat bot loves me so much too .. grin

juz email the mods sha... Juz state it tat my ex raped ur main... Hahhha.. JK... They can unban u if u send them an email..

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 6:37am On Oct 25, 2016

TrapQueen77:

Hahahaah.. Oohh tat bot loves me so much too .. juz email the mods sha... Juz state it tat my ex raped ur main... Hahhha.. JK... They can unban u if u send them an email..

I don't want to be unbanned jurh grin

Lemme cause small trouble with this account

2 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 6:39am On Oct 25, 2016

KissChrix:

I don't want to be unbanned jurh

Lemme cause small trouble with this account

Oohh OK... My eyes on u then wink

.. Show me how u gonna smash all these little pumpkins hahahahhahaha..

1 Like

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 6:45am On Oct 25, 2016

TrapQueen77:

Oohh OK... My eyes on u then .. Show me how u gonna smash all these little pumpkins hahahahhahaha..

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Presh900(m): 6:54am On Oct 25, 2016

Smallville10:
Trapqueen77, sinaj, mackbrooklyn, fairlyusedpant, presh900, honeygirl17, STFUareuG0d, kisschris, lawladey, Cyndyonyx ... Oya u people should come and see... Oga jari.rod say u should come and yaf

wetin dey happen here.

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 6:56am On Oct 25, 2016

Presh900:
wetin dey happen here.

it means u have to laugh with us sha

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Presh900(m): 7:01am On Oct 25, 2016

TrapQueen77:

it means u have to laugh with us sha

lol... Never knew oga Jarizod has a large sense of humour

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 7:05am On Oct 25, 2016

KissChrix:

I dey here o

Anti-spam BOT don rape My main

hahahaha... Na wetin u do na wey dem rape u

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 7:12am On Oct 25, 2016

TrapQueen77:

Jarizod.... I know ur such a funny guy... I like jokers, they're cute and sexxxxy...

chai! I don die... Gals can be funny... Na Jari.zod call u here undecided

smh

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 7:25am On Oct 25, 2016

Smallville10:
hahahaha... Na wetin u do na wey dem rape u

I no know o

Dem go talk say I spam like that

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 7:56am On Oct 25, 2016

TrapQueen77:

Oohh OK... My eyes on u then .. Show me how u gonna smash all these little pumpkins hahahahhahaha..

who are the pumpkins? undecided

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 8:09am On Oct 25, 2016

lhawarl1:

who are the pumpkins?

Whoever he wants to call a pumpkin grin

it's his call...

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 8:16am On Oct 25, 2016

TrapQueen77:

okay

Whoever he wants to call a pumpkin it's his call...

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 10:09am On Oct 25, 2016

KissChrix:

I no know o

Dem go talk say I spam like that

na so dem ban me onetime like dat becus i comment '.' (fullstop)

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 12:09pm On Oct 25, 2016

Presh900:
lol... Never knew oga Jari.zod has a large sense of humour

Lol..thanks baba

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 2:18pm On Oct 25, 2016

jarizod BADT GUY

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 2:59pm On Oct 25, 2016

lhawarl1:
jar.izod BADT GUY

HAILINGS BOSSMAN

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 3:38pm On Oct 25, 2016

Imagine a porn star wins an award for "best porn actress" and she's like, I first wanna thank the Almighty God for.....

Eeiiii sister , thank God for wot
♧are u okay??
Is He your producer?
☹☹☹

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by smardray(m): 5:07pm On Oct 25, 2016

hmmmm boda jarizod....hmmmm u get book of Jokes here ..na hin u see me 4 corner dis aftunun u no tell me.. theblessedMAN.....Royh... tgold1......comman see dis big thing dat jarizod has here....oya make I laugh join kikikikikukikiki

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 5:21pm On Oct 25, 2016

smardray:
hmmmm boda jarizo.d....hmmmm u get book of Jokes here ..na hin u see me 4 corner dis aftunun u no tell me.. theblessedM.AN.....Ro.yh... tgol.d1......comman see dis big thing dat jariz.od has here....oya make I laugh join kikikikikukikiki

no vex my Oga

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by ROYH(m): 5:24pm On Oct 25, 2016

smardray:
hmmmm boda jarizod....hmmmm u get book of Jokes here ..na hin u see me 4 corner dis aftunun u no tell me.. theblessedMAN.....Royh... tgold1......comman see dis big thing dat jarizod has here....oya make I laugh join kikikikikukikiki

TELEPORT To Nairaland, I Dön Land Sir, Jarizod, Nice One, You Gat Me Showing My 36 Though grin

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Tgold1(m): 9:16pm On Oct 25, 2016

smardray:
hmmmm boda jarizod....hmmmm u get book of Jokes here ..na hin u see me 4 corner dis aftunun u no tell me.. theblessedMAN.....Royh... tgold1......comman see dis big thing dat jarizod has here....oya make I laugh join kikikikikukikiki

This Is Cool.... Thanks for The I.V man

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 10:03pm On Oct 25, 2016

Jarizod:

HAILINGS BOSSMAN

a little boy was playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He told her "No! These are for boys", the little girl ran to her mother. The next day the girl sticks out her tongue at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his bike and said: "oh yeah! Only boys can get this!"
but the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants and points to his unit and said "look! Only boys have these and your mum can't buy you one".
The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress and points to her bits, and said "my mother told me that as long as i have these, i can have as many of those as i want"

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by Nobody: 10:06pm On Oct 25, 2016

lhawarl1:

a little boy was playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He told her "No! These are for boys", the little girl ran to her mother. The next day the girl sticks out her tongue at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his bike and said: "oh yeah! Only boys can get this!"
but the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants and points to his unit and said "look! Only boys have these and your mum can't buy you one".
The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress and points to her bits, and said "my mother told me that as long as i have these, i can have as many of those as i want"

Tooooooooo funny laugh wan kee me

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 10:30pm On Oct 25, 2016

An American tourist went on a trip to China.
While there, he was sexually promiscuous and doesn't use condom.

A week after arriving home, he noticed his penis was covered with bright green spots. Horrified, he went to see his doctor.

Days later the doctor calls and says "i have bad news. You have contracted monogolian VD. It very rare and we know little about it. We have to amputate your penis"

the next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring out that he will know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examine him and proclaims "ah! Yes Mongolia VD"

"what can you do?" asked the man, "my American doctor want to amputate it"

the Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs "stupid American doctor always want to operate and make more money that way. No need to operate!"

"oh thank God!" the man replied

"yes" says the Chinese doctor. "you don't worry! Wait two weeks, dick fall off by itself"

7 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 10:52pm On Oct 25, 2016

This man is wanting to breed sheep but has no male sheep, as male sheep are so rare in his area, he decided to try and impregnate the females himself by taking the to the forest and shagging them all one by one.
A local farmer once told him that he will know his sheep are pregnant once they stop walking around and lay down,

the next day the man bundles his sheep at the back of his land rover and shags them all, he was 'knocked' as soon as he got home and went straight to bed,
he wakes up the next morning and dives straight for the window to see if the sheep are lying down......... To his dismay they aren't, so again he puts them in his vehicle and head straight to the forest, this time he shags them all twice for goodluck,
when he get home he was 'knocked' once again and went straight to bed, in the morning he asks his wife to look out the window and see what the sheep are doing,
"that amazing!" she said,
"what! Are they all laying down?" he asked,
"no, they are all in the land rover and one of them is beeping the horn!"

8 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 11:01pm On Oct 25, 2016

3 most difficult things to do in the world.........

1. You can't count your hair

2. You can't wash your eyes with soap

3. You can't breathe while you tongue is out..................

NOW PLEASE PUT YOUR TONGUE BACK INSIDE

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 11:21pm On Oct 25, 2016

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15years, he breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed,

he ordered the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair , while tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her , kissed her neck and goes into the bathroom, while he is in the bathroom, the husband tells his wife:
"listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years, i saw him kissing your neck, if he wants sex, don't resist or complain, do whatever he tells you no matter how much he nauseates you, This guy is probably very dangerous, if he gets angry he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you"

To which his wife responds:
"he wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering into my ear, he told me that he was a gay, and thought that you were cute, and asked me if we had vasline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too.

Jarizod if na you be the guy wetin you go do?

5 Likes

Re: Jarizod's Book Of Jokes by lhawarl1(m): 11:34pm On Oct 25, 2016

Facebook asks: what's on your mind?
Twitter asks: What's happening?
Instagram asks: what did you eat?
Firefox gives: cookies.........

HMMMM SEEMS THE INTERNET IS A WORRIED MUM!

5 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply)

Donald Trump And Hillary Clinton's Wedding Invitation (Photoshopped) / When You Have A Spy As Daughter At Home (Photo) / How To Know You're Becoming Tushed(photo)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 47
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.