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Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by mengho(m): 6:33pm On Oct 18, 2016
it's not like you will be living in same room anyways, so just chill a bit, she be his mama, am sure you won't mind if it's your mama even if she does not like your husband.
Tell your friend to stop being paranoid & do her duty as a good wife. Her husband will naturally notice if his mama is constraining her in any way if he really loves his wife.

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by jayAjoku(m): 6:34pm On Oct 18, 2016
if they ain't in good terms i wouldn't advice that..
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Josmila(m): 6:35pm On Oct 18, 2016
A MIL that has not been cool with her DIL will make life unbearable for her if she moves in with them on a permanent basis. If the man is wise, he'll dissuade her from coming over. Being a retiree, she can still be adequately taken care of at her base if that's the justification for moving in with them.

6 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 6:37pm On Oct 18, 2016
mengho:
it's not like you will be living in same room anyways, so just chill a bit, she be his mama, am sure you won't mind if it's your mama even if she does not like your husband.
Tell your friend to stop being paranoid & do her duty as a good wife. Her husband will naturally notice if his mama is constraining her in any way if he really loves his wife.

Don't be so sure. I'll mind... smiley

4 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Bobmaintain: 6:38pm On Oct 18, 2016
@Seun: Please how long do you intend to keep Nairaland Forum running?

The above question is important because the answer I intend to give here on this issue will only hit these ladies here when they clock 60 (Retirement Age).

I want them to be able to come back to it then.
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Mznaett: 6:39pm On Oct 18, 2016
Hmmm...

When ever I see or read things like this I'm like ....shocked

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by FreeWorld23: 6:40pm On Oct 18, 2016
Ujoan:


What if he daughter's husband doesn't want her in their house.Its his house after all and we all know how Nigerian men think. The woman is afterall his wife's mother not his.

On the other hand, the woman wants to move into her SON's house, the son she bore and nurtured and made a man out of her loins. Abi your friend doesn't think she deserves to reap the fruit of her labour in her own son's house undecided

A lot of men get married and still live with their wives in their parents home, with their parents still alive. So why can't mama move into her son's house

As far as she's not causing any troubles for the couple, I don't see this as a big problem.

Your friend needs to be a little more receptive towards other people.
thank u.

Ask the op if her own mother can't live with them

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by malbro(m): 6:40pm On Oct 18, 2016
Make them give am the other room naah

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 6:41pm On Oct 18, 2016
Dyt:
Some MILs sha
I have had my fair share even without living together
..... grin grin grin

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Icecream4U(m): 6:43pm On Oct 18, 2016
Chai! A friend of mine is feeling sorry for your friends situation right now. undecided
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by FreeWorld23: 6:43pm On Oct 18, 2016
sisisioge:


Babes, she said they don't get along. Why bring them together under the same roof? He could service his sonly duties while mama is safely tucked in her quarters biko. Obviously, you haven't seen any dreadful MIL at work before. The story gets dirty.
why aren't they getting along? She should treat her like her own mother. I notice most ladies/women out there don't like their MIL. Ladies out there lack manners and attitude and u expect the woman to shine teeth with you?

3 Likes

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by trendyprettygir: 6:44pm On Oct 18, 2016
hmm...

Well op, just tell your friend that this is a lesson. She also should learn to be a nice mother-in-law when it gets to her turn.

However, mother-in-law moving permanently is not really the best but if her husband insists, then she should put it in prayers.

God is great and is the best help in times of trouble. Banking on her strength and the advice from nairaland might not go too far, but rather cause more fracas between her and her mother-in-law.
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Mayflowa(m): 6:45pm On Oct 18, 2016
sisisioge:
Chai! Fear is already catching me on behalf of your friend already. I think she should tell the guy her concern, if he insists then na gobe be that o.

I think she needs to prepare a sort of armour in anticipation...

Ordinarily, the mother in-law wouldn't think of moving in knowing there is no love lost between her and the DIL if she hasn't been getting her ways with her in the past. The DIL should just be ready to change their relationship asap. No need to fight, no need to talk too much, no need to be rude...na body language! She shouldn't cower for her abeg. Just treat her like another long staying house guest. Maintain your stand and dignity...she no be god biko.

By the way, babes might need to invest in a CCTV o. Just in case things escalate beyond "wetin happen"...a picture speaks more than a thousand words!

Jeez! I don't know why MIL are like this, imagine this poor woman going bunkers just cos mma is coming...can't MILs be civil?


Why would the son allow it if the wife is already dying from the thoughts. Visit may be perfect. The woman has lived her life as she so desired in her youth. She can have it all her way. Hey...I love my mum more than anything but if i sense my mum will be opened to trouble in my house, I won't let her stay permanently. I cannot even survive gloomy environment. I will be most affected.

I can imagine her hoping for MIL to die quicker than her age. grin
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by kado(m): 6:45pm On Oct 18, 2016
as long as she doesnt intrude or gatecrash into the 'other room'....Ba Wahala! angry sad
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by FreeWorld23: 6:48pm On Oct 18, 2016
PaperLace:
Nobody can move into my house on permanent basis...nobody.

'but this isn't cast on stone_ it's in fact a very flexible rule. If push comes to shove, I can/will compromise.
This may be their chance to make-up, when you get to stay with someone long term, you'll see the good sides of the person you never knew (and the bad too).

So, she should relax. It might end well... grin
that's if you are the one that build the house. If its your own mum, you will reject her too?

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Mayflowa(m): 6:53pm On Oct 18, 2016
Ujoan:


So because her DIL doesn't like her she should avoid her own son's house. Trust me, I know about dreadful MILs, I also know there's always a way to handle people, no matter how difficult they are.

Why can't she at least make the effort and if it don't work out, find an alternative abode for the woman.

Why cast her away like yesterday's trash because 'they don't get along'

Ujoan! Ujoan!! Ujoan!!!. How many times I call you? Nor go there oooo. There are people you can't please no matter how much you try. Most of these people come in form of mother-in-law. Trust me on this.

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by eitsei(m): 6:57pm On Oct 18, 2016
Greenbullet:
WHAT RUBBISH, WHY WILL A MOTHER IN LAW MOVE INTO A MATRIMONIAL HOME ,IS IT A FAMILY HOUSE, NO WAY I WILL NOT TAKE IT!!! PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIEND TO TELL HER HUSBAND THAT IF HIS MOTHER MOVES IN ,SHE WILL MOVE OUT BECAUSE SHE CANNOT BECOME A SLAVE IN HER HUSBANDS HOUSE.
how will her mother in law living with them turning her into a slave undecided

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by missyge(f): 6:58pm On Oct 18, 2016
Nah. Wont allow dat o. Noy even my mother ooooo

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 6:58pm On Oct 18, 2016
sad
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by abbey621(m): 6:59pm On Oct 18, 2016
This is why it's best to have lots of money. Mama is coming to stay with us permanently, no problem! Stay with mama get her a personal maid and enjoy your life, once a month tell mama you and your wife are going on a trip, spend a week or two in your other house, repeat and rinse. Diplomacy is the key to everything and money makes diplomacy a lot easier grin grin grin Other than this, there's nothing you can do, a mother has the right to come and stay with her child if she wants, as a wife you must learn to respect that!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by realityone(m): 7:02pm On Oct 18, 2016
That is not scriptural. Don't accept the wrong thing because of emotions so that you don't blame yourself in the future. Let her stay with her own husband in the village and take care of him while my wife also take care of me.

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by kingphilip(m): 7:03pm On Oct 18, 2016
What I see from the ladies who comment here isn't just any thing reasonable walai..

I just see them saying it's not right just because the mother-in-law isn't getting along with the daughter-in-law.. How many of you ladies commenting here is married for two+ years and getting along with your mother in law really well should quote me and tell me your experiences..

Note any hypocrite that quote me will be fished out

My mention isn't meant for hypocrites

First of all op what has been the cause of their misunderstanding let's know and start from them
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 7:03pm On Oct 18, 2016
like someone suggested, she should get cctv, that will be her saving grace, I know how old people can be,a common what did I do?,can be I interpreted into something else,she should brace her self for the katakata ahead
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Jacko1(m): 7:04pm On Oct 18, 2016
Where i stay

My cotenant lives with the wife mother


If it was the husband mother... They will still live in peace



Make i get my own house... Ma mama wey suffer for me... Ma wife now say she cannot live with us.... It cannot happen


N if the woman is a jezebel dat insists otherwise.... Bye bye jezebel

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by fluxbush(f): 7:06pm On Oct 18, 2016
Laburos:
No comment expect my response in 35 years time.


Like I want to hear your response,right? undecided undecided

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by 2mNaira: 7:08pm On Oct 18, 2016
jasysandra:
I totally agree with you. A mother will always be a mother and as you are already one yourself, you should treat other mothers just as you want to be treated. If you think she hates you so much and wants to break your marriage, why did you even marry her son in the first place cause you said it yourself, she never wanted him to get married. The truth is, we see most of these things before marriage but we tell ourselves, we can handle them. You can't handle this one by stopping a woman from coming to stay in her sons house, you will end up being the bad person in the story. Let her in and leave the rest to God.

Wow! From a woman!.Now I know that this generation still has hope.
Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by kingphilip(m): 7:08pm On Oct 18, 2016
Mayflowa:


Ujoan! Ujoan!! Ujoan!!!. How many times I call you? Nor go there oooo. There are people you can't please no matter how much you try. Most of these people come in form of mother-in-law. Trust me on this.
don't be offended by this simple question and I don't want to make you offended by it

Do you see your mom as someone like that??

I don't see anybody that I can't cope with

Atleast give me a week with such an individual and after that we've gotten along pretty well

This issue only arises because the so called daughter in law's brain has been set to think that mother-in-laws don't like them and they can construe an ordinary get me water please to drink to mean she's just riding them and making them look like a slave

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Nobody: 7:09pm On Oct 18, 2016
missyge:
Nah. Wont allow dat o. Noy even my mother ooooo

Agree.

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by beedam(f): 7:10pm On Oct 18, 2016
sexymoma:
if she goes out in the morning and comes back in the night... she doesn't and wouldn't have a problem with her..
shebi na person wey she see she go dey act for..

You never jam some MIL. Mine stays miles away and she dey control things. And think of a situation where you are avoiding your home and have to come home late in the night? Would there be happiness? Weekends nko?

That PERMANENT RELOCATION thing no fit work, walahi!

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by berrystunn(m): 7:10pm On Oct 18, 2016
Hayy maybe am lucky oooo
My wife and my mum there 5 and 6.
From the first day she came to our house then as a gf, my mum and her get connected...from that time They started talking on phone.. before our marriage.

If she visit my mum.. She will not let her go.. same thing if my mum visit.. My wife will always look for a way to keep her longer. Tomorrow, next tomorrow, next week, ending etc.

Am sure in this case my wife will suggest (propose) my mum to move in with us...

The last time I had my sister saying you done collect our mama from us....

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by Pidggin(f): 7:10pm On Oct 18, 2016
Wetin happen to her own husband house or is he dead that she wants to abandon him?

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Re: Her Mother Inlaw Wants To Move In Permanently by kingphilip(m): 7:13pm On Oct 18, 2016
realityone:
That is not scriptural. Don't accept the wrong thing because of emotions so that you don't blame yourself in the future. Let her stay with her own husband in the village and take care of him while my wife also take care of me.
and what's unscriptural about this??

Is it the mother staying a few days or is it the lady not at peace with her mother in law

1 Like

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