It's almost that time of the year again when all
our brothers return home from "the abroad".
Soon, they will come from all parts of the
world- America, Europe, The Philippines,
Malaysia, South Africa and even Sudan- to
celebrate Christmas.
It doesn't matter where they come from, they
will come with a black American accent. Even
the ones that came from Sudan will come with
pounds and dollars. Because the default
currency for "the abroad" people is dollars.
Abroad person that is spraying Cedis, is that
one abroad person?
They will come to the village, and they will be
at every ceremony spraying dollars and
pounds. They will wear their starched laces and
their original gold chains. I don't care the
authentic quality of the chain, but as long as it
is from 'the abroad', it is original. They will bag
chieftancy titles that ends with "Ego".
They are the real MVPs. The Mr Steal-your-chic-
and-convert-them-to-wife. They are always
single looking for a wife at home. Yes, they are
not bastards, they come back home to marry.
You have a boyfriend who is just a civil servant.
Fresh young man who is just starting life. You
think you love him until your mother tells you
about Emeka, the "abroad guy" that just landed
in town. She reminds you about how you both
used to be really close friends before he left to
'the abroad' when you were just 3 months old.
Mama tells you he wants to marry you. You
take a look at Emeka and you see the glory of
the Lord shining around him. You admire his
British-American accent and his fresh money.
You think about your boyfriend- mtchew, who
"young man with Dreams" epp? You suddenly
start hearing the voice of the Lord telling you
that Emeka the abroad guy is the right one for
you. You suddenly realize that at 23 you are no
longer getting any younger and you can't wait
for a graduate who is just starting life.
Emeka spoils you while he is in the village. You
both keep in touch as he leaves for "the
abroad". You don't see him again but you still
talk on phone. You are now both engaged and
you are happy, you are dating a guy in
Indonesia with an American accent.
Two years pass, you've seen Emeka only once.
Because body no be wood, you have a side boo
in your town who lubricates the engine when
the oga is not around. But you are still
engaged. You are getting impatient. You were
23 two years ago but now you are 35, or you
feel 35. You nag, whine, write three different
please-hide-my-Identity messages to "Dear
Amanda". Sacrifice 2 goats as burnt offering to
the Fadalurd above. After some months, your
prayer is answered. He fixes a wedding date
but cannot attend the wedding because of
work. So you just do the wedding with his
enlarged picture anyway. That picture he was
wearing a suit, that one. That's the one you kiss
when it's time to "kiss the bride".
After three months, no Emeka. You realize you
are now a western union wife. Another series
of Dear Amanda messages, burnt offerings and
pastor visits, God finally touches Emeka's heart
to come home. He comes home for a few
months to get you pregnant and go back. When
he goes back, the real Lord - not my "Fadalurd"
- decides to remember you this time and
release you from your misery. You somehow
realize that Emeka has two beautiful children
with his abroad wife of 10 years now. Your eyes
will now clear.
You finally wake up, after 300 posts cursing
Emeka and other men specifically, you decide
to join the Association of Online Feminists of
Nigeria. Dear sister, Kolewerk. You are not a
feminist, you are just an aggrieved mega idiot
who hates men, and that is not feminism.
Christmas is coming, if you like, follow abroad
husband and go.

What's all this?

So i read all this episode,funny shaa,
Ladys of nowawdays can't wait for an unemployed graduate for three years but they can wait for abroad husband for ten years,kolewerk, continue God is whatching...

Iranu

Lmao

Na still true.



Many of them will drop this year, if not for anything, they are coming to invest.


U know, sending money via western union or the banks is a waste of money compared to landing in naija and taking the dollars to aboki by urself. Do the maths and see how much they will make by just visiting home just to see family and friends.



And u will mumuly follow him, when u know that things might change by 2020, and he will not come home again until naija enter another recession, and that will be by 30yrs, that's if buharis son decides to contest( u know President Buhari runs in the blood)