my husband and i have been living in the Uk for a couple of years now. My husband has got 4 younger sisters, 2 of whom I have not been in good terms with. The immediate younger one 2 my husband never liked me from the onset, although i sensed it, my husband assured me it was notin. As time went on She began 2 display her unfriendly attitude 2wards me 2 which i told my husband and he said my mind was playin tricks on me. I tried on my part 2 make friends wit her, i'd call her, text her etc and she never responded nor replied. Finally i told my husband i would no longer call his sister 2 which he agreed: all this happened while we were courting (i was still in nigeria then).
She did sometin on my weddin day at the reception which made me really pissed, i was hurt n cried, still my husband took sides wit her. I then decided to stop talkin 2 her completely and becos of that, the younger siter also took offence and stopped talkin 2 me and began sayin alot of nasty things about me 2 my husband and parent inlaws which i later found out. The only people who took sides wit me were my parent inlaws n my husband's 2 younger sisters.
Well my 'weddin spoiler' then began 2 report me to everyone in the family that i was disrespectin her by not callin her, it carried on for a year wit several calls to my husband and my parent inlaws. Again, Everyone took sides wit her and urged me to call her. I succumbed and called her several times, she still never returned my calls. She said she was pregnant and told my husband she wants 2 relocate to the Uk 2 have her baby and also live wit us 2 which my husband was very excited and supportive .
I know she's trouble and have told my husband i've no problem with her relocatin 2 the UK, but livin wit us is impossible. I also told him, i would seperate from him if she comes.
Pls i need ur candid advice: I'm i been irrational or is it the right thing to do.

I am sorry for your situation. But, women, women, women, I do not understand why womenfolk find it difficult to relate with one another. Whatever being the case, note that confrontation will do you no good, and if you stick to it you will be the loser at the end. You better bring your mind together and find a way to make Peace with those chicks. Diplomacy is the best weapon you can use to win the war.

I wish you a Happy New Year!

Take care

What about your husband?

One day at a celebration my sister confronted my former wife.
I asked my sister to apologize, but she refused to do so.
Then I cut ties with my sister cos no one should be allowed to offend my wife.

I understand the value of familiy, but if I have to decide my family is not people abroad,
but the ones I am living with.

I pray your husband will take the right decision!

Let her not come and spoil your marrage .
Make it clear to your husband why you do not want her.
Do you have kids?

this is really confusing  cause i won't advice you to seperate from your husband,or start a fight with your sister inlaw cause its going to get you no where,but i would advice you to talk things over with your husband,explaing things to him in a calm way cause if you try shouting,it might not get you a good response and also put everything in prayers,cause in such situations its a time you ve got to cast all your burdens to Him,cause humanbeings would dissapoint you but God would never dissapoint you, and i believe He would see you through.

I believe this sister -n law of yours is going to make life hell for you if she comes into your home
discourage your husband from allowing her come into your home at all cost diplomatically

why separate from your husband because of his sibling? naah i would not advice you to do that! and if by all means she must come into your home, do your best to be the sane or bigger person because believe me she is going to bring "it" just be very careful around her in other words "shine your eye " very well 24/7

like some one adviced go into prayers, i believe your husband should be able to stand up for what is right!

My dear, am so sorry for your present dilemma. it really a pity. you have to let your husband know how you really feel straight from the heart. there is no hiring place for you because your husband's sister is coming to make life unbearable for you.so tell your husband your fears and you are ready for any trouble
she brings along.

God will help you ad your husband.

hmm i feel for you but the answer is very simple, forget all that crap about oh you don't want to seem like you coming between your husband and his sister. Listen what she thinks of you wont change for now so do not jump from frying pan to fire and invite her. You will be asking for trouble. I sense she is up to no good, better safe than sorry. Keep family at a distance is what i say once you marry its you and your husband and kids . Every other person can visit, but to live in my house? Only when hell freezes over.

That is your home, your sanctuary do not invite someone who does not even like you room to play games. Keep her well away from you home. Got to get your hubby on side, it will be hard for him but he has to realise that you are his wife and you are his priority, your happiness comes first . Any man who needs  reminding of that especially a married one should never have gotten married. Three is a bleeding crowd  

Dont not let sentiments rule use your head

If your husband's sister is pregnant, that means she may be married. What is her husband doing and is your husband also responsible for helping him relocate to the UK too?

On no account must you encourage your husband to let her come to the UK, if she does she WILL stay with you no doubt! You are his wife and you have to put your feet down, your husband must rise up to his responsibilities and that is YOU not his sister!

we thrashed this issue, calmly, romantically, spiritually, emotionally, maturely etc but my husband has made his stands known on the issue and i also made my stands known on the issue.
Mind u, my sister in law is married and has a hubby who supports her relocation idea.
Also we have a baby who's less than a year old. My husband finally admitted that he realised she never liked me but believes i should overlook her behaviour.
I only tot about the whole situatn and realised my husband had and will always take sides wit her ever since and i dont tink i can handle being a second fiddle in his life. He hasnt changed a bit and believe me I tink i have a life ahead of me and can start from the scratch if i walk away now rather than waitin for her to come and plot some tricks to break my home and leave me wit no strength to live my dreams.

deejnr:

we thrashed this issue, calmly, romantically, spiritually, emotionally, maturely etc but my husband has made his stands known on the issue and i also made my stands known on the issue.
Mind u, my sister in law is married and has a hubby who supports her relocation idea.
Also we have a baby who's less than a year old. My husband finally admitted that he realised she never liked me but believes i should overlook her behaviour.
I only tot about the whole situatn and realised my husband had and will always take sides wit her ever since and i don't think i can handle being a second fiddle in his life. He hasnt changed a bit and believe me I think i have a life ahead of me and can start from the scratch if i walk away now rather than waitin for her to come and plot some tricks to break my home and leave me wit no strength to live my dreams.

Of course what husband will not support the relocation idea? Is that not a one-way ticket for him to relocate too while leeching off ur husband's spinelessness?

You have a baby less than 1 yr and ur husband is bringing in your worst enemy? Seems to me he has some growing up to do himself, there just may be two babies in your home!

The best way to thrash this out is not by walking away now, sit back, dig in your heels and fight for your own home and marriage!!!

davidylan:

Of course what husband will not support the relocation idea? Is that not a one-way ticket for him to relocate too while leeching off your husband's spinelessness?

You have a baby less than 1 yr and your husband is bringing in your worst enemy? Seems to me he has some growing up to do himself, there just may be two babies in your home!

The best way to thrash this out is not by walking away now, sit back, dig in your heels and fight for your own home and marriage!!!

word!

i honestly don't know how to fight when it comes to that: I am a person who would rather talk things thru or walk away.
And if i decide to fight now and perhaps win, how many fights 'm goin to be involved in? I cant keep fightin for the rest of my life: Besides, i dont want to fight or force my husband into agreein wit me. I want an honest decision that'll come from his heart. If he goes ahead wit his sister's plan and she eventually comes, then i'd know he's sister's wants is of uttermost importance to him than his marriage/family: that i cannot handle nor bear.

@ deejnr

what were you doing before you got married? Where all these not obvious?

@daviddylan
mean thing to say
@deejnr.
Pray for guidance, hang in there, do what your heart most decides

Don't let people kill your family:
1. It takes two to tangle, access yourself, only your inlaw cannot be 100% wrong
2. Work on yourself and forget about her, so what if she dosen't answer your greeting, does it make you loose money?
3. Let your good character bring shame to her and convince your husband who is right or wrong, make your husband judge but by reason of your good character not your complains
4. You have absolutely no right in stopping your in-law from staying with her brother, only your husbad does
5. Your problem is you think too much about her, enjoy your marital life, life if for enjoyment, the less you think of her, the smaller she becomes, the more you think about her, the bigger she becomes, don't make her unnecessarily important!!
6. If you leave your home, be absolutely sure you have given him another wife because there are a lot of women who will be ready to move in, Husbands are scarce these days!!!
7. My friend be wise, a virtuos woman builds her home and not destroy it.

@ Amadin2000,
You have spoken well and wisely like a great orator. In fact, you are the greatest.

How come you are so wise? I guess you are a guy, If not I will do my best to befriend you and see if we can take the relationship to a serious level . We need more people you here.

@ Deejnr,
Amadin has said it all. A word as they say is enough for the wise.

Oh, i feel so sorry for you, and i know most of d sisters in law always have brain problems Sorry for d situation.

hello girlfriend,quit feeling sorry for urself,i agree with Amadin,you have to be strong,who says marriage is a bed of roses anyway,it comes with its own challenges and this is yours,so deary face it.
What makes you think if you leave your husband and eventually marry another man it won't be a worse situation with a terrible mother-in-law or the whole family ganging up against you?Please be strong for yourself,for your husband and for your baby.Men, what do they know? You will be surprised at the level of their immaturity when it comes to taking some decisions but it does not mean they love you less,he is the head of the family but u r his neck,so turn him whichever way you want,i guess u know how to do that,he is your man.
As for your sister-in-law,just be good to her,i know its difficult,it will take a lot of divine wisdom but she will definitly come around if you ignore all the terrible things she does to you.Just be good to her irrespective of whatever she does to you,she'll come around one day cos she 'll feel really stupid,she is human and she has a concience.
The Lord is your strenght,ask Him for more wisdom.
All the best and dont forget to let us know when things haave been settled.