MARRIAGE LANDMINES (1)
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A soldier was once asked why he kept cleaning and fixing his gun when its effident that war wouldn't ensue anytime soon. This was his response ''I can't afford a gun that fails to work.''
You can't afford a marriage that fails to work, divorce isn't an option either. You've waited, prepared, attend seminars, listen to quantum of advice, all because a failed marriage is too expensive to bear.
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While you are busy getting yourself ready, have you considered that there might be some landmines that can possibly halt that Union?
One good soldier knows too well the sort of havoc a mine can wreck. And the only possible way to avoid it is to clear the field. Marriage also has its landmines. This isn't about finance issues, sex starvation and barreness. I'm talking of little matters usually unnoticed.
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After living for over 22 years with a family that has had its own share of ups and down of marriage, and after making a case study of some other successful marriages, I have come to realize what marriage landmines are.
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Care to join the ride?
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FARMILIARITY:
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Why is it that doing courtship a partner is ready to fall heads over heels only to see that the other partner wears a smile? What happens to the call rate as well as buying of gift just after a couple of months or year of marriage? The answer is not far-fetched. FARMILIARITY.
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You sleep on same bed, eat the same food, put on similar outfit, you both got your hands tied with office work, and when kids sets in, the couple continue to drift apart. But you never fashion out time to renew your vows and love life. All am trying to say is your living together has almost become a routine, Familiarity is taking a nap. We tends to appreciate things when they are out of reach, more when they are at arms reach and less when we fail to make them look new each day. Way out? Successful marriages Break routine; they renew their love life rather than look for reasons to stay together. Plan for a special treat, reflect on reasons why you are willing to catch a grenade for him/her when you first met (The spark), then continue to think about that every blessed day.
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TEMPERAMENT:
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The woman continues to nag which the man can no longer withstand. So He picked up his car key off the sofa and head for the door. The woman rushed towards him, blocking his way and holding tight his necktie, screaming on top of her voice. Thinking He had no other choice, he landed a big slap on the womans beautiful face (You know what follows). He felt bad instantly and started to apologise. This was the same man has who has sworn never to hit his wife. Note, its only once (#Ìfótí/Slap...) but the woman will continue to recount such a day as long as there is breathe in her lungs.
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What has just happened? TEMPERAMENT. Way out? He who wins an argument in any relationship is evidently the loser. One of the ways of overcoming a bad temperament is to admit you have one (a bad one). Don't ever let a conversation hit its peak before you bow out. Read my write up on the #principles_of#conversation.
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To be continued in the next post.
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Thanks for taking time to read these piece. I hope it has been helpful.
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Writer.
Sayo Ademola
#Ingeniousconsult