Hi relationship guru's in the house & romancelander generally, pls i want you pple to give me ways, steps, procedures, insight etc that a man can be doing to make his fiancee regards him & give him the full respect he deserves, my fiancee always disrespect me, she doesn't even av an atom of respect for me, upon all d responsibilities am shouldering just to be a responsible man & to earn her respect, we av been in this relationship for the past 5 years, we love each other immensely, & we av never separated for once truout this years, am trying tirelessly to be loving & caring but she is taking it for another thing, mind you she is not the type that double date or keep side cheeks, she is very decent & God fearing lady, that is the reason am still with her, i can't stand cheating girlfriend, because i know 1st thing some people will be saying is that she is seeing another guy, no she is not, i can vouch for her, am very sure she is not.
I need to earn my respect, because that is the only thing i can see as a big issue in our relationship, i can refer to it as d down side of our relationship, i like & love to be respected, i also hate to be disrespected by d one i will call my wife as much as i hate cheating girlfriend, thanks as u help a brother seriously in need of ur candid advise

To disrespect a man is as good as cheating on him... Take heart op

Royal155:
To disrespect a man is as good as cheating on him... Take heart op

bro, it really hurt like hell to see the one u love dearly disrespect you at will even to your face, whenever it happens i feel depressed like mad, i have tried all i could to earn my respect all to no avail, & i dont want to go violent with her, it is now that i understand the word some men use to say that "it is good to reset women's brain with good slap once in a while"

You've not married her yet and she's already disrespecting you...then when you both tie the knots what will become of your marriage?.

Benita27:
You've not married her yet and she's already disrespecting you...then when you both tie the knots what will become of your marriage?.

that is my greatest fear my sister, it is killing me inside

omochelsea004:
bro, it really hurt like hell to see the one u love dearly disrespect you at will even to your face, whenever it happens i feel depressed like mad, i have tried all i could to earn my respect all to no avail, & i dont want to go violent with her, it is now that i understand the word some men use to say that "it is good to reset women's brain with good slap once in a while"

As in, resetting their brain to default settings.. hahaha! I don die!
But seriously I've been there, though I broke up with her. I can't have a disrespectful lady as a wife. So I suggest you back your's with prayers, maybe she'll change.

Ehee, don't forget to apply the resetting and formatting technique(na joke oo!)hahahaha

Some pple no just get sense

Respect is earned not given . . . . By the way, I hope you weren't expecting her to be fearing you - make sure that you weren't mixing loyalty with servitude. How exactly did she disrespects you? For example an outspoken woman is different from a contentious woman, I believe you should know this.

Well, if truly you have been altruistic, civil and faithful towards her, yet she still disrespects you, then obviously over familiarity is the cause. However, such attitude is a bad one. Only a petty person capitalizes on overfamiliarity to abuse others. That's a sign of rudeness and conceitedness.

I believe you should know what to do to end the overfamiliarity if finally it happens to be the reason for the arguable disrespects she metes at you.

She is God fearing and She dis respects you? I am quite surprised at this, because the two do not match. She can't just double date, or if she is really Gods fearing you are probably showing inclinations that she belongs to the 'kitchen and the other room' which is refusing because she knows she has potentials beyond that. You should've given some instances of her disrespect. Women sometimes use some behaviors that may appear negative to express love, like possessiveness of their man. Meanwhile, have u called her and let her know your 'likes and hates' of her behaviors? Many men becos of fear of the unknown don't like to speak up but harbor things in their mind and allow it to eat them up.

I will say that you caused it. You see the logic is that as a man you must make the woman feel that she can lose you at any moment but while still being faithful. Probably you are too soft. Be the man.

Okay maybe d only thing she doesn't av is respect and as you mentioned she's God fearing buh I wonder some1 who doesn't respect you to be God-fearing,instead of you to say that God is even fearing her,here you are saying God-fearing

I think she is feelin over-confident she feels dat she is your one and only, u need to shake dat her OVER-CONFIDENCE by doin these:
1, Dumpin her for some days without callin or textin her sometimes.
2, Be cold and silent when with her sometimes.
3, Be unpredictable, show anger once in a while.
4, Slap her, tell her she is ugly (worwor) once in a while.
5, Call her "small girl" sometime.

bro, dont use 50/50 or call a friend just walk away.....and about the God fearing poo bro na lie. you can also try legitman22 advice but pls dont beat/slap her ooo. Lastly i think she dating someone richer or older than you, so make more money

Alawe:
She is God fearing and She dis respects you? I am quite surprised at this, because the two do not match. She can't just double date, or if she is really Gods fearing you are probably showing inclinations that she belongs to the 'kitchen and the other room' which is refusing because she knows she has potentials beyond that. You should've given some instances of her disrespect. Women sometimes use some behaviors that may appear negative to express love, like possessiveness of their man. Meanwhile, have u called her and let her know your 'likes and hates' of her behaviors? Many men becos of fear of the unknown don't like to speak up but harbor things in their mind and allow it to eat them up.

I was expecting to see 'respect is earned' blah blah blah. There are cases you make exceptions and this is one. Perhaps one of the reasons she disrespects him is as a result of excess familiarity which has broken boundary walls which ought to be accorded

I'm sure she wasn't that way from the beginning. Her action might have been due to something the OP. Eg,

1. borrowed some money from her (some ladies would lose the respect they have for you the day you try this with them. A wise one, however, would consider it as one of her roles in the relationship).

2. Excessive familiarity: While this is not true in all cases, excessive familiarity is often considered a breeding ground for disrepect in relationships. No matter how close two lovers are, the should be a boundary which must not be abused, regardless of what they share. Lack of definition would cause your relationship to run without limits or boundaries. For example, slapping her cheek just because you guys are clowning or you receiving a 'light' knock on your head all in the name of playing.

3. You: If she wasn't that way from the onset, then what are the likely causes? What has changed? When did it start, really? Does she respect other guys and you happen to be the only one she disrespects? Are there things you ought to be doing which you have not? I understand that you work hard to meet up, but are you sensitive enough to know she wants some things and the only way to speak up is by being disrespectful?

4. Her background/family: How healthy is the relationship in her immediate family? How is the relationship like between her parents? Are the parents separated? Is the father misbehaving or quarrels with the mother or the girls at home? These are important cues to note. If the whole thing seems from her family, then I'd suggest you take her to see a counsellor because there's likely to be a trend. And if you think you can't stress yourself, then I'd recommend you walk away. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

Does she have an older sister? If yes, I'd suggest you speak with her, not like you're reporting her though but more like you're investigating on your part while you genuinely open up.

omochelsea004:
bro, it really hurt like hell to see the one u love dearly disrespect you at will even to your face, whenever it happens i feel depressed like mad, i have tried all i could to earn my respect all to no avail, & i dont want to go violent with her, it is now that i understand the word some men use to say that "it is good to reset women's brain with good slap once in a while"

Quit the relationship immediately and find a younger girl that will value and respect you. Husband scarce . I have dated some girls like that .I quite them immediatly without telling them my reason and uptill now I still see those girls single because im sure no man is ready to take disrespectful woman as a Wife . The same way she disrespects you , is the same way she will disrespect all your family members including your mother and father . so don't make such mistake

The solution to your problem is to first acknowledge that you are your problem.

Do you even believe you can get a better woman if she leaves you?

If yes, why can't you leave her and see how much she wants you?

There is a way women smell how much you believe in your self and your self worth no matter how rich or handsome you are.

The reason why most women love and respect thugs is because most thugs have this aura of self worth nd overt believe in themselves, even though ironically most are poor and shallow.

Act on yourself or you might regret ever marrying her.

What's your definition for respect and in which ways does she disrespect you