Directly in response to “The 10 Different Types Of Dicks,” a few of us guys decided to share our thoughts on some common types of vaginas. Although I, sexual guru Johnny Long, actually did the bulk of the writing, I gotta give credit where it’s due: this article could not have come together without the helpful musings of the men in the Comments section, and specifically Brave New World, whose title suggestions I quote here.

1. The Loose Vagina You Can Last Forever In
This vagina is simply put… loose.

A loose vagina feels like it’s slid 12 babies out of it in the last couple of years. Being in a woman should feel like a jacuzzi bath for your cock, but instead, it feels like driving your car through a carwash, when those flappy curtains soap up your sedan. It’s not doing much, barely putting any pressure on your penis, and you can just keep going… and going… and going… and going. Your girl probably has some idea that her vagina is really loose, so maybe spare her self esteem and don’t mention it to her. Just… do the best you can, and maybe get out of there. Literally.

2. The Too-Tight Virgin Vagina That Makes You Cum Too Quickly

This is the opposite of #1. Some girls are crazy tight, and it’s just impossible to last. I mean, this vagina is made by nature to squeeze man juice out of you, and with every stroke, you feel like your kids’ faces are becoming more and more defined before your eyes. You switch up positions, and start to wonder how much longer you can last, as this vagina massages every inch of your dick into sweet, sweet ecstasy of release.

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myperiod:
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Yinkey6:
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myperiod:
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AfroMighty:

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following keenly from the top of a tobacco tree

I just dey observe... from a far away corner.

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myperiod:
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myperiod:
Who is dis bipolar..ur cucumber must b small ...sorry boo

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myperiod:
Who is dis bipolar..ur cucumber must b small ...sorry boo

Ye mogbe what an insult thou it is small compare to the cucumber you Bleep

To slap the op dey hungry me.