@Poster
Hate to break it to you but i think you got what you deserved.
Why did you have to indicate that he is a NIGERIAN. Any other man of any other nationality can/will break your heart.
I bet you were also "Inquisitive" when you met him. You probably wanted to try something different and you realised men will always be men. Nigerian, American or Aliens.
Nobody gives a shit if he is Nigerian. You divorced your husband, who is a man, Period.

So Sorry to hear about what happened to you. In my case I was married to an AA man and when I was pregnant he left me for another woman! well I went home to Ireland to visit my dying father and was told 'don't bother coming back' that I shoudl find an arab man who would appreciate me. Life can be terrible sometimes.

@Poster, don't really understand your post, you said he is a good guy, takes care of the finances and house, but does not know how to show love.
Your post sounds like a dejavu to me.(A woman i met and after talking for hours, i figured out her problem so i would give you the same advice)

When you mean he doesn't know how to love, do you mean he doesn't spend time with you and your kids?
If your kids are complaining about him, is it because he is disciplining them, i didn't like my dad as a kid, i even thought of running away, but when i look back now, am happy he did all that he did, because without it, i wouldn't be where i am.

Sometimes when a man misbehaves, we are quick to judge him ( not saying he was right), but when you search within, are you satisfied you didn't drive him to do it.

Its a known fact that siblings, from the same womb do have serious quarrels, if the can, think about two different people from different cultures brought up thousands miles apart.

How well did you try to learn his culture and compromise on some?
were you the nagging type?

well all these questions might be late now as you have divorced, all i would say is move on

Naija!

The best way to show your kids that you care for the family is to love their mother. This is very important. Paying ur bills and finance is not a way to show love he was just taking care of his responsibilities.

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chrisj2: Poster, you did not indicate in your original when you divorce came through and what sort of punishment legal or otherwise can you give to somene you have already divorced. So the pregnancy with the other woman is not relevant unless you still want him back or dont want him to have babies with others (maybe yet).

So I guess the news of the pregnancy was heard just a few days ago cos you said it was fresh, Either way, you are now divorced, the main issue now is the kids you had together.

Never mind my post (about the village girl), just a distraction and support of what you said about Yorubas and Nigerians and their religion. I am a Nigerian and I have been wary of dealing with Nigerias for a long time - I dont get them even when I grew up in Nigeria. But unlike youself, I will strife to find good Nigerians (there are many in Nigeria not the many hustlers abroad) to interact with and eventually marry.

chrisj2 read tru ur posts.av it in mind that not all gurls are bad.its the bad ones that has given s good ones a bad reputation and even some bad ones became bad as a result of circumstances nd bad xperiences from our so cald men.

dont change who u ar cos of a generalized ideology.just be smart and dnt get carried away.

SCbeauty: u deserve better.do whateva makes u happy nd be positive.i wish u all d best in ur new found love.

Very correct!
NEVER DATE OUTSIDE YOUR CULTURE!
Marriage is tough enough!

So, the man has moved on and the woman has not?

Rubbbbbish!!!!!!!!!

chrisj2:
funky - you gave good advice but even advice will have been very expensive and might have lead to me being scammed. People in UK get scammed as well. I was not going to marry her on the say so of family but it helps if they monitor things and are supportive. I did say I was going to go to Nigeria to sort things out. I still think i things work out it will be better than trying to find a Nigerian girl in the UK.

Anyway, the issue is not just about this girl but the Nigerian way. And that I why contributed to this thread. Look, I am not religious and will happily sleep with someone who attached - consenting adults and all that.

I have not concluded this girl is a scammer but I dont lend people money and was disappointed she asked. And borrowing money is a Nigerian way - we can be shameless sometimes.

Then there is the issue of religion whch ties to this current thread. Even the religious(so-called born-again) people in Nigeria do some weird stuff

Hold your fire guys. I am not desperate and not quick to judge. When I used village, it is just to say she is from the same tribal and micro-group as myself.

Mr mugu in the UK looking for wife how far?Your Nigeria girl Don chop your pounds finish.dumbass matured fool

Wow! See hikacking of thread, I untie my scarf for this chrisj2 o.