drbolade:
Trust nairalanders with their views and ''yabbings. There are some assumptions you guys are making that are not correct. It takes courage to post a topic like this and want people to learn from your own mistake, if people will do anyway. I am sure some of you shouting ungrateful will say I am bragging if I said I have done this or that for her, but does that one change her status no. A poster claim the topic is gender bias well sorry for that but from experience women are more emotional and being tempt to take up such responsibilities, for instance my sister is the fourth born. Note the only reason while I post this topic is just for people to learn and that is all

teeghurl:
Smh, that's life for you. The same people you are bursting your as.s for will be the first to rub it in your face. In this life, you owe nobody anything. Help when u can but dnt break your back to satisfy anyone

njiasi30:
Enya op BC things re ok with u and ur family now, u now think dat she shouldn't ve done more Dan her limit or probably u would ve been successful one way or d other without her help. She sacrificed 4 d well being of d family and ur thank u is dis... How many ppl can do what she did? D kind of sis dat everyone wish to ve. Human being..... May God heal ur sister and restore her back.

Change ur mindset pls

Acidosis:
Your sister acted f00lishly.

She did all she did because she loved the experiences.. She enjoyed every bit of it.


Pray for your sister, and make her happy. It is normal for any/every-one to cater and help their relatives, whether they make legitimate money or not.

If I make legitimate money, I will provide for my family. If I steal to survive, I will still provide for my family. So what's the issue about again?

Acidosis:
Your sister acted f00lishly.

She did all she did because she loved the experiences.. She enjoyed every bit of it.


Pray for your sister, and make her happy. It is normal for any/every-one to cater and help their relatives, whether they make legitimate money or not.

If I make legitimate money, I will provide for my family. If I steal to survive, I will still provide for my family. So what's the issue about again?

Latty88:

So what is your point now?

Yieldings:
She sponsored the second born's wedding, sponsored the third born through university, fed the family. All of these involved a lot of money and all of these greatly outweigh whatever desires she wanted to satisfy.

Intention often precedes action. If we're to question whether her intention was to satisfy her desires or to help her family, I would go with the latter. One way to find out is to ask, "What was she doing with the money she was making?". She was clearly using it to help her family. If she was selfish, she would've kept all the money to herself / used it to take care of herself but this wasn't the case, so I imagine her family's situation was what made her start, not her desires; and it was probably what kept her going - since they were relying on her.

Acidosis:


I will share in your view if OP can attend to my queries:

- does your sister purchased a car, fine and expensive jewelry, a house, or at least a well furnished apartment for HERSELF?

TonyeBarcanista:
Some people are just getting emotional about this, which I think is unnecessary.

@OP: F

Your sister followed the illegitimate and immoral route thinking she could achieve fun and help your family escape poverty but only ended up messing up her life.



Every matured member of your family (as then was) including your mother and your HIV sister destroyed the Lady. It is a shame but a scar is already in the family.



Anyway, the deed has been done. Unfortunately, your sister took a decision and will face the consequence. Your family failed her then, but you can remedy it by showing her maximum love.

That's a cross your family will have to bear


@NLders: The Moral lesson is NEVER because of any circumstance take to immorality.

TonyeBarcanista:
Some people are just getting emotional about this, which I think is unnecessary.

@OP: Firstly, your mother and the rest of the family FAILED your sister. Your sister also failed herself. Poverty may be very tough, but there is always the proper way to mitigate through such situation.

Your sister followed the illegitimate and immoral route thinking she could achieve fun and help your family escape poverty but only ended up messing up her life.

Your mother and matured siblings (as then was) could not denounce her immoral act and reject proceeds of her action, but enjoyed the goodies that came with prostitution thinking it is well.

Every matured member of your family (as then was) including your mother and your HIV sister destroyed the Lady. It is a shame but a scar is already in the family.

This is a case of a man taking to vices to fees his family. he will end up losing his own life and tarnish the family image.

I trust my family, not even under extreme poverty will my parents accept monies that came from illegitimate source.


Anyway, the deed has been done. Unfortunately, your sister took a decision and will face the consequence. Your family failed her then, but you can remedy it by showing her maximum love.

That's a cross your family will have to bear


@NLders: The Moral lesson is NEVER because of any circumstance take to immorality.

Caracta:
Just when you thought you've seen it all...

OP, I don't get. What limits exactly? And why is it gender-based? If she had held back, you would have been the first to throw stones at her and condemn her for doing really good without helping her siblings. You would have condemned her for eating chicken while you ate ponmo. There is no satisfying humans. No matter how well you try, people would find faults. That's some scary shiiit coming from one's sibling.

And acidosis, sorry, are you OK?

drbolade:
Last weekend we Celebrated mumssie in her 4 bedroom bungalow built by our first born to mark her 70th birthday; nice music, good food, nice wine etc. and I look at some years back when things were extremely difficult. I lost my dad when I was in primary 2 age 7yrs, our first born was in his final year in university.

Things were extremely difficult and that was how my sister comes in a dad figure.I can not mentioned all her good deed towards the family but let me just site some instances.

My sister single handedly sponsor our second born wedding, she sponsor our third born through university and on many occasion she used to feed the family. We used to called her mother Theresa.

Unfortunately some years back she was diagnosed of HIV yeah you heard me right and she became the ghost of her former self. Now to the glory of God everybody is doing fine and I keep thinking who knows if my sister did not try to play god probably everybody would have eventually turn out good though things might even be more difficult then. Though we are still one big happy family despite her status but how i wish...

Ladies please don't play God over your siblings do your best not at your own expense

crazymommy:
now the fact is the lady might still decide to go through the moral way and become a bricklayer and she breaks her spinal cord while doing the job??so will that stop the op from creating a thread like this??will that stop the ungrateful attitude of the op??pls when we want to make comments we should think from all sides and not just from one lane....

Aston02:
I still can't understand why most nairalanders are quick in judging the op. From my own perspective, the op is just trying to caution us to know our boundaries when trying to help others...it shouldn't be the detriment of your own life. Wait...do you think the op is happy with the current state of her sister? From my own view, she's not. In fact, she feels sorry for her and somewhat angry at her for taking her own life for granted in other to save others. Try and read in between the lines...

Acidosis:



Trust me, not everyone will understand your points. I think the word HIV got them too emotional, thereby distorting a chance for common sense utilization.

TonyeBarcanista:
Ma'am the OP's family were not the first to experience extreme poverty, and can NEVER be the last.

Nothing justifies immortality and nothing can legitimise it. It would have been better to hustle through the thick and thin for a better future than through an ignoble path that only offers temporal succour.

It is unfortunate that the OP's family watched and merried as their sister was destroying herself. They should forget the past and work towards giving the HIV woman a better life, care and support.


As for the reason behind the thread, it could be that OP is trying to warn us using her family experience. I see no wrong though I think it was unnecessary.

Aston02:
I still can't understand why most nairalanders are quick in judging the op. From my own perspective, the op is just trying to caution us to know our boundaries when trying to help others...it shouldn't be the detriment of your own life. Wait...do you think the op is happy with the current state of her sister? From my own view, she's not. In fact, she feels sorry for her and somewhat angry at her for taking her own life for granted in other to save others. Try and read in between the lines...

TonyeBarcanista:

Excuse me, please how is the story gender based?

TonyeBarcanista:
Exactly! People can be emotional. I think some of them are concluding that OP was an ingrate that is trying to scorn her sister.


But from my understanding, I think OP was only trying to pass a moral message.

BTW The family of the OP and the lady bleeped up big time

crazymommy:
no one is justifying immorality here,what am saying is if the op and his family during that time where busy enjoying the money they got from the sister and never warned her or reject the money then the OP does not have any right to judge her or create a thread like this because it is hypocrisy ...and by the way she could have gotten the hiv through any other means..many people that are not even doing prostitution still get infected with hiv...there are so so many ways anyone can become infected...sex is not the only way...and yes i still maintain my stance that the op is ungrateful and a big hypocrite...: