RadicallyBlunt:
Op be cautious of the way you follow the advises above me o. You just said ur hubby wasn't like this before but now he's showing his color at d slightest provocation. Who knows...you may think taking the above steps will calm him down but turn out to make things worse and these so called advicers would not be there to help your marriage. A man with a child can still remarry o but an after-one woman may find it difficult.

Even if you're young blooded with radicality i still advice you to use a better approach not because ur husband is d head blabla but because you dont want to go thru a long marriage palava so early in life. Because if he takes d matter to his family he will not say he started it first. And your own family have received your total bride price...eaten it sef. So

Calm your anger, talk to him heart-to-heart first, if that doesnt work, you can talk to your pastor or snr in-laws that have good sense of reasoning too...this is essential. Let them know you told them first so that when you take action, it will have deep effect and impression. Don't be deceived with the "no 3rd party" advice for new couples. There are some things you may actually need some one for. what matters is the kinda 3rd person you involve and of course not always.

Besides what you're going thru is normal in the first 1-2yrs of marriage. Both of you will stabilize soon

That is why it is good to have stabilizer in the house

My brother use to do the same thing to his wife and she kept quiet and endured it until he developed to regular beatings and that was when she told us, we advise him to no avail that was when we advice her to give him fire for fire at home not in public. My dear see my brother turn ice water we nor believe our eye na.
Dont shout ät him in public deal with privately, men sometimes need iron hand, sack that yr housemaid dont trust most of them.
Sorry to ask this question did you force yourself on him? How long was the courtship? Did u know he has that behaviour before and u ignored it? What his is relationship with ur maid? Are u a full-time housewife? Is he seeing someone? Are you guys friends? How do y treat him?
Save yr marriage but dont die in silence.
i wish ur marriage forevermore.

Caseless:
I wouldn't mind meeting you.

I want you to come and use that your mum's method on me.

How about that?

Loll

THIS IS RESOLVED DURING A PILLOW TALK. IN THE BEDROOM, WHILE PREPARING TO SLEEP. BECOME RESTLESS AND LET HIM NOTICE IT AND ASK YOU WHAT IS WRONG. THEN VERY LOVINGLY, REMIND HIM OF HOW THE TWO OF YOU STARTED AND THE HOPES THAT SURROUNDED THE RELATIONSHIP, WHICH EVENTUALLY ENDED IN MARRIAGE. REMIND HIM OF THOSE QUALITIES IN HIM THAT SO MUCH ATTRACTED YOU TO HIM. THEREAFTER, MENTION TO HIM THAT THERE'S SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE MISSING AMONG THOSE GOOD QUALITIES. TENDERLY MENTION THIS ISSUE AND DISCUSS IT WITH UTMOST RESPECT. PLEASE, DON'T EVER SHOUT BACK AT HIM IN PUBLIC. YOU WILL BE SHOCK HOW PEOPLE WILL BLAME YOU FOR THAT. A MAN SHOUTING AT HIS WIFE IN PUBLIC IS MESSING HIMSELF UP, NOT THE WIFE.

JeffreyJamez:
This is simple... I'm sure you have your own "craze"..since you have talked to him about it and he has refused to listen, show him that small "craze" ..if he shouts at you, shout at him back... He go calm down!

Haba oga! Why are you pushing this woman na?

I am 100% certain that if she dares shouts back at him, the man is gonna get physical with her.

Madam abeg talk to a counsellor.

Shouting back at him just to make him understand how it hurts won't yield anything positive.

Instead, its gonna get physical and escalates to constant DV

Fairgodwin:


Yes, you have said everything I had in mind, everything. You're beautiful in your mind.

you're handsome in mind too

mysticgal:
Loll

YIM is the only platform to connect?

Its bad to do that a wife not even a servant. I think she deserve better. If he is not ready to change the wife should be ready to change him. Cos if u don't change him, who will.

coolviv:
Op here is what you ll do.
Gather your mind and decide that he ll either stop this or the marriage will end. For him to tell the househelp to disobey u openly is a signal of his growing lack of respect for you which you caused by letting him demean you in public with no consequences.

Now get ready to make him feel you hate him. When he shouts at you in public again for like maybe a minute or 2, ensure that you use the next 28 mins to tell him his life history and his grandfather's own. You can actually time yourself. ..remove your mouth from brake and let it run as if he stole your money. Even after the shout, keep throwing dirty and hateful looks at him such that he ll wonder If it's safe to sleep in d house.

Now after all these, the following might happen:

He ll ask for a divorce or drive you out of his house.. whereby u can get a good lawyer and get some financial benefits.

He ll be so shocked at your actions, he ll remember how he married you and try to make peace and win your love back.

Police will arrest you both and someone will snap d pic and post it on nairaland with the title.. ' Wife goes kolomental on mentally deranged husband (Photos) '.

Don't bother thanking me..

All the best..

lolss....some people are just comedians.

JeffreyJamez:
This is simple... I'm sure you have your own "craze"..since you have talked to him about it and he has refused to listen, show him that small "craze" ..if he shouts at you, shout at him back... He go calm down!

Haaaa! Ur advice is eavy because igbaju will end her boldness.. .Gbabee

Caseless:
YIM is the only platform to connect?

Go to Facebook.. I like it

davidif:

Bro, i believe it's called free speech and she is exercising it.

All these girls matter trie me sef

kassy777:
These are the non wife materials and jet age ladies. Shout back at him. My mum did this and that. Highly indesciple and desrespectul lady be your name. Just read the few piece of advise below yours. The difference is clear. First class agboro house wife.

But is it not an agboro husband that shouts on his wife in public?
No decorum at all. Its so shameful. How can anyone respect such a man? Or even the wife?
Respect can't be forced or commanded. Its earned , and definitely not by barking like a dog in public.
Ewww...

iamloyalty:
My brother use to do the same thing to his wife and she kept quiet and endured it until he developed to regular beatings and that was when she told us, we advise him to no avail that was when we advice her to give him fire for fire at home not in public. My dear see my brother turn ice water we nor believe our eye na.
Dont shout ät him in public deal with privately, men sometimes need iron hand, sack that yr housemaid dont trust most of them.
Sorry to ask this question did you force yourself on him? How long was the courtship? Did u know he has that behaviour before and u ignored it? What his is relationship with ur maid? Are u a full-time housewife? Is he seeing someone? Are you guys friends? How do y treat him?
Save yr marriage but dont die in silence.
i wish ur marriage forevermore.

.

Its not every man o....if shout at me. U might be making the worst mistake...I hate confrontations even if you are right...but just keep shut and calm...guilt will just overcloud me

eyinjuege:


But is it not an agboro husband that shouts on his wife in public?
No decorum at all. Its so shameful. How can anyone respect such a man? Or even the wife?
Respect can't be forced or commanded. Its earned , and definitely not by barking like a dog in public.
Ewww...

Mtchww...see how you think...if she shouts back are they not both stupid... So people determine your reactions... That's childish na...violence is never the best....let her sit hubby down and pour her heart out..she can even cry...if he doesn't react positively then you know its something extra odinary

warmachine:


Mtchww...see how you think...if she shouts back are they not both stupid... So people determine your reactions... That's childish na...violence is never the best....let her sit hubby down and pour her heart out..she can even cry...if he doesn't react positively then you know its something extra odinary

OK, so you've agreed the man is stupid right?
Meanwhile, I've not read anything about violence here, maybe lack of manners but not violence.
You've also said she should start acting nollywood by crying like Mercy Johnson? She should start faking tears? Wonders shall never end. So you support she should start some emotional blackmail to get what she wants? That's also not healthy in any relationship.
If you don't like your husband shouting at you in public madam OP, there and then look him in the eye and tell him you'll appreciate not being shouted at and remind him that you're not his child!.
You don't have to shout while doing that, be calm focused and direct. Don't get riled up over his stupidity as this person I quoted has aptly put it.

eyinjuege:


OK, so you've agreed the man is stupid right?
Meanwhile, I've not read anything about violence here, maybe lack of manners but not violence.
You've also said she should start acting nollywood by crying like Mercy Johnson? She should start faking tears? Wonders shall never end. So you support she should start some emotional blackmail to get what she wants? That's also not healthy in any relationship.
If you don't like your husband shouting at you in public madam OP, there and then look him in the eye and tell him you'll appreciate not being shouted at and remind him that you're not his child!.
You don't have to shout while doing that, be calm focused and direct. Don't get riled up over his stupidity as this person I quoted has aptly put it.

This is an over grown child

Pls stay of my mentions till u grow up

warmachine:

This is an over grown child

Pls stay of my mentions till u grow up

Better an overgrown child than a senseless adult...

Try snubbing him and acting as if you aren't the one he is talking to whenever he tries disgracing you in the public

mysticgal:

Go to Facebook.. I like it

your handle on Facebook.

Why did you wipe off your comments, Yieldings?

Because the thread made the front page?

Weirdo.

Yes, that's why. I do have copies of the replies, as I saved them beforehand.

Thanks, I embrace my weirdness, lol.

DarkRebel101:
Why did you wipe off your comments, Yieldings?
Because the thread made the front page?
Weirdo.

jarmy:
Show more submission to him. Stop arguing with him. Give your suggestions when he ask for it, and when you do, do it with respect. You have not being satisfying his ego!

pathetic

Disgusting

oatzeal:




Once again , am here, ..... If u tell your pastor or tell his relative, it will make it worse.

There is no man a woman can't handle.. Study ur man and handle him. IF YOU TAKE TO SOME ADVICE HERE, IT WILL ONLY GET MESSIER.


he has reasons for shouting at u, if u can't detect the actual reason, play round it... That's why am giving u tips.

Possible reasons why he shouts at you... I used myself as an example.

Again... Some men don't like to be slowed down., They like it wen dey say ABCDE and u continued ..FGHI..

Only smart ladies can cope..

Another way is to always assist him not to be late. Wake him, help him pick what he may forget,
.

Help him to be faster at anything

... Am not saying you shud not do your own, but be involved in his own , at least for this time, please


......
Dont see it as selfishness on his own side... Or slavery on ur side. JUST DO IT , u will get amazing result.. You will ask for A, he will give you AAAAAAAA, he will notice it easily wen u re not happy, he ll listen to you and change completely.

PRAY TO GOD, WITH SINCERE HEART, ASK FOR WISDOM TO BE SMARTER.... GOD WILL GRANT IT UNTO YOU..

cococandy:
pathetic

Lol I sense sarcasm sis

lepasharon:


Lol I sense sarcasm sis

Hmm. it better be

MBTI = Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. It pretty much tells you what your personality type is. There're 16 types, with each person falling under one. It's best to take a test offline first, before playing around with the ones online but I know not everyone has access to the former, so you should do whichever you can get your hands on. Enneagrams are also personality types but they're more in-depth and they're definitely a bit more personal because they explain your core self, your motivations in life, your pattern of behaviour and why, etc. There're 9 enneagrams. They're like an addition to the MBTI, however the MBTI is more commonly used, e.g. by some employers. Enneagrams are a bit more complicated because there're wings and there're tritypes but like the MBTI there's always one dominant type that explains who you are at the core.

Based on your NL posts, I would say you're an ENTJ.

DarkRebel101:


What is ‘MBTI’? Help me out here.

I took a pseudo-personality test one time; but I thought it was applesauce, I consider myself protean and unpredictable; no series of tests can have me bucketed in category A or category B. Even if I took enneagrams with a cubic metre of salt, I wouldn't share it on a public forum where walls have ears.

But I'm curious, B.F. Skinner, from my teeny-weeny snowflakes of quirks that have studded your winter grounds, what personality would you say that I fit into?

dangotesmummy:
you're handsome in mind too

Funny you. Thanks though.

Caseless:
your handle on Facebook.

M'prizy Nnake

mysticgal:

M'prizy Nnake

Yieldings:
Yes, that's why. I do have copies of the replies, as I saved them beforehand.

Thanks, I embrace my weirdness, lol.

And because you are equally self-conscious and shy. Yes?
Would you like to talk offline? Don't say yes if you are too busy with work and school at the moment, just give me a mention and type the word “available” whenever you've got time on your hands -- that way I'd get the cue.

...

Besides, I meant weirdo as a compliment. I also consider myself cut from the same bolt of polyester fabric of weirdness.
Who likes a regular Joe or a regular Jane anyway?