My Friend Is Putting Me In A Tight Situation

My very close colleague and friend and I work in the same office. He relocated his family out of town almost a year ago, the wife traveled for further studies. He has a lovely wife, really good woman and two lovely kids. I also live with my family. We used to visit each other and our kids played together while they were around.

The issue now is he now keeps a steady girl. The girl cannot hold a light close to anywhere near his wife. The wife beats her in terms of beauty, class, intelligence, fashion, attitude, just name it.

At first i didn't talk when i saw them together. Felt it was a casual fling, he probably was lonely and needed a little company. However, he now takes her everywhere, friends houses, colleagues parties etc. I have warned him severally but he keeps telling me he'll look for the right time to let her go. He's been saying this for more than 6 months now. He even confessed that they do have unprotected sex occasionally, especially when they are both drunk and she has said she'll kill him and kill herself if he leaves her for another girl.

I hate to see my friend destroy a beautiful family. I don't know what to do to save him. I don't have his wife's number, even if i did, telling her might result to breaking the marriage instead of saving it. For now, all i do is just pray for him. Anybody with any brilliant ideas?

Unprotected Sex!? And Wifey is there oblivious of her philandering husband's escapades! Lord bless her good heart and save her from STDs please
Mr Op, you have a good heart too, God bless you and your lovely family. Threaten him with telling his wife about everything, and also about severing your relationship with him. He's a bad and negative influence

Hmmm. Its stories like this that make me completely disagree with the issue of spouses staying apart for whatever reason. I have never liked it and do not think I ever will. Each time I hear of it I wonder how they intend to cope with their sexual lives.

Try to get his wife's number from his phone and put an anonymous call or text msg across to her. No details, just something that will make her take the next available flight back home.

Which kain book she dey read there? So she expect the man to just maintain dey form celibacy for this kain world wey we dey so.

It's a pity, some married women are like that... They will leave their husband, travel abroad for further studies and I usually ask, this PHD or masters u are going for? Please enlighten me, what do u intend to do with it? They will say they just want to have higher degrees.
I shake head for those wives.. Later they will start crying wolf, saying can u imagine her husband has married another woman.. May the almighty God give them sense to see the havoc they are creating in their homes.

Op, your friend is lonely. And even if the wife travels with the next flight back home to fight her husband. Cos He is the only person she can fight for now.. After telling her sorry dear, with sweet words and she travels back.. He will still go back to his girlfriend.. And the girlfriend is determined to be his wife.. So my dear, the situation is messy already.

Lalasticlala come and save a marriage o

just here to read comments

Amelian:
It's a pity, some married women are like that...They will leave their husband, travel abroad for further studies and I usually ask, this PHD or masters u are going for?
Please enlighten me, what do u intend to do with it? They will say they just want to have higher degrees.
I shake head for those wives.. Later they will start crying wolf, saying can u imagine her husband has married another woman.. May the almighty God give them sense to see the havoc they are creating in their homes.

Op, your friend is lonely. And even if the wife travels with the next flight back home to fight her husband. Cos He is the only person she can fight for now.. After telling her sorry dear, with sweet words and she travels back.. He will still go back to his girlfriend.. And the girlfriend is determined to be his wife.. So my dear, the situation is messy already.

What is wrong with gunning for a master's degree or a PhD? SMH.

DarkRebel101:


What is wrong with gunning for a master's degree or a PhD? SMH.

Gun for it when you are single as a lady.. Not when you are married... Smhhh

DarkRebel101:


What is wrong with gunning for a master's degree or a PhD? SMH.

Honey, there is nothing wrong with it but when it is done @ the expense of one's marriage, then everything is wrong with it.

She could have done it back here where she will be with her husband.

Amelian:

Gun for it when you are single as a lady.. Not when you are married... Smhhh

This probably qualifies as the dumbest comment I've seen since last week on all the social media platforms that I frequent.

According to Amelian, any woman who has been walked down the aisle ought to osculate her academic aspirations goodbye. And why? For a reason as tenuous as preventing her husband from diverting his gaze onto other women.

You might as well ask her to consign her life dreams to the incinerator because she now has a rock on her finger.
...

See, this is why I suggested that you be a MILF and consider dating younger guys.

Younger guys = Younger spërm = Sharper and more discerning mind.

DarkRebel101:


This probably qualifies as the dumbest comment I've seen since last week on all the social media platforms that I frequent.

According to Amelian, any woman who has been walked down the aisle ought to osculate her academic aspirations goodbye. And why? For a reason as tenuous as preventing her husband from diverting his gaze onto other women.

You might as well ask her to consign her life dreams to the incinerator because she now has a rock on her finger.
...

See, this is why I suggested that you be a MILF and consider dating younger guys.

Younger guys = Younger spërm = Sharper and more discerning mind.

Really?
It can be the dumbest have might have said so far but do I honestly look like I fucvking care? It's your home to toy with.. Not mine.
And if u are a lady, don't cry wolf when your husband marries a second wife.. Simple.
U can argue from now till tmrw,. Your choice.. Your life.

Gaggi:
My very close colleague and friend and I work in the same office. He relocated his family out of town almost a year ago, the wife traveled for further studies. He has a lovely wife, really good woman and two lovely kids. I also live with my family. We used to visit each other and our kids played together while they were around.
The issue now is he now keeps a steady girl. The girl cannot hold a light close to anywhere near his wife. The wife beats her in terms of beauty, class, intelligence, fashion, attitude, just name it.
At first i didn't talk when i saw them together. Felt it was a casual fling, he probably was lonely and needed a little company. However, he now takes her everywhere, friends houses, colleagues parties etc. I have warned him severally but he keeps telling me he'll look for the right time to let her go. He's been saying this for more than 6 months now. He even confessed that they do have unprotected sex occasionally, especially when they are both drunk and she has said she'll kill him and kill herself if he leaves her for another girl.
I hate to see my friend destroy a beautiful family. I don't know what to do to save him. I don't have his wife's number, even if i did, telling her might result to breaking the marriage instead of saving it. For now, all i do is just pray for him. Anybody with any brilliant ideas?

Yes! Mind your goddam business!

Benbisco:

Honey, there is nothing wrong with it but when it is done @ the expense of one's marriage, then everything is wrong with it.

She could have done it back here where she will be with her husband.

If a man cannot hold out on sex for six months or for one year while his wife is away on studies, then maybe such a man shouldn't be married in the first place. If the worse meets the insufferable worse, couldn't he have wankëd his way out of his sexual conundrum?

...

I believe relationships are about sacrifices, not conveniences. And I'm certain that were the situation in inverse, and were the man the one absent due to his academic pursuits, there wouldn't be as much cöck-a-doodle-doo; and if the woman were to tumble beneath the sheets with another man while her husband was chasing his PhD and whatnot, he wouldn't be blamed for her fickleness. I guess that's where gender bias comes into the picture.

I just don't understand why marriages are made to look like concentration camps where one's life aspirations and dreams must be shunted aside to make allowances for the marriage.

If the two parties involved can reconcile their differences and make concessions and reach compromises, I believe the marriage would run 90 minutes without a red card being flashed by either one of the partners.

Amelian:
It's a pity, some married women are like that... They will leave their husband, travel abroad for further studies and I usually ask, this PHD or masters u are going for? Please enlighten me, what do u intend to do with it? They will say they just want to have higher degrees.
I shake head for those wives.. Later they will start crying wolf, saying can u imagine her husband has married another woman.. May the almighty God give them sense to see the havoc they are creating in their homes.

Op, your friend is lonely. And even if the wife travels with the next flight back home to fight her husband. Cos He is the only person she can fight for now.. After telling her sorry dear, with sweet words and she travels back.. He will still go back to his girlfriend.. And the girlfriend is determined to be his wife.. So my dear, the situation is messy already.

Sweet Lawd!
I have no words for a post as unfortunate as this....simply too stunned and stumped for words
...just know this- you have just betrayed the brain that God gave you, and all of us with that

merahki:



Sweet Lawd!
I have no words for a post as unfortunate as this....
...just know this- you have just betrayed the brain that God gave you, and all of us with that

Am not betraying my Brain.. My brain is intact and working very well.. Better than yours I will say.. And babes am not representing you ooo.... This is a public forum where everyone air their views.. Say yours, if u have anything UPSTAIRS in that brain of yours, try contribute to what the op mentioned above .. And stop quoting me..
Am not your boyfriend nor your husband.

Capish?

Amelian:


Really?
It can be the dumbest have might have said so far but do I honestly look like I fucvking care? It's your home to toy with.. Not mine.
And if u are a lady, don't cry wolf when your husband marries a second wife.. Simple.
U can argue from now till tmrw,. Your choice.. Your life.

I am not a woman.

Second wife? You seem bedecked with the trappings of the archetypal African woman – small-minded and pitifully obsequious. You must have been trained from childhood to kneel in servility at the foot of a man and to worship at his altar.

SMH. What you need is a mental lavation to blot out the slave mindset which society has wrongfully inflicted upon you.

These women blaming HER for His infidelity

Women I weep for us. Why do we hate each other so

The wife is working towards bettering their family while he tears it apart. She is also lonely and those women blame her for his sin.

@Op there's nothing you can do but learn from his mistake. It ain't your marriage or responsibility so mind your own business before people blame for his fvck up and say you broke them up.

merahki:



Sweet Lawd!
I have no words for a post as unfortunate as this....simply too stunned and stumped for words
...just know this- you have just betrayed the brain that God gave you, and all of us with that

DarkRebel101:


I am not a woman.
Second wife?jYou seem to have all the trappings of the archetypal African woman – small-minded and pitifully obsequious. You must also have been trained from birth to kneel in servility at the foot of a man and to worship at his altar. SMH. What you need is a mental lavation to blot out the slave mindset which society has wrongly inflicted upon you.

Lol.. If u like be a man.. If u like turn into a woman? Or even turn into a snake? Who cares?? That's your cup of tea. I will air my views whether u agree or not..thats your business.
And am so happy the way I was brought up.. It gives me complete peace..
If my words are so painful, think about me throughout the rest of today and even throughout this week.
It's your plate of mai mai.

Hahaha
Easy thing....Guys no get mind.

Have we ever consider that the wife maybe doing the same thing abroad? Trust me it happens.

Me too I'm still trying to understand what's wrong with gaining a master's degree that will give you a good job with higher pay

DarkRebel101:


What is wrong with gunning for a master's degree or a PhD? SMH.

Amelian:
It's a pity, some married women are like that... They will leave their husband, travel abroad for further studies and I usually ask, this PHD or masters u are going for? Please enlighten me, what do u intend to do with it? They will say they just want to have higher degrees.
I shake head for those wives.. Later they will start crying wolf, saying can u imagine her husband has married another woman.. May the almighty God give them sense to see the havoc they are creating in their homes.

Op, your friend is lonely. And even if the wife travels with the next flight back home to fight her husband. Cos He is the only person she can fight for now.. After telling her sorry dear, with sweet words and she travels back.. He will still go back to his girlfriend.. And the girlfriend is determined to be his wife.. So my dear, the situation is messy already.

Where is the dislike button when you need one?
I don't think you're a female. You posted like the typical Nigerian man that will heap the blame of a failing marriage on the woman only.

Someone up there blaming the woman for the wrong doings of her man,smh... marriage is not all about seeing each other everyday and having sex every time,yes long distance relationships do work out,the wife is ambitious and trying to upgrade her life for herself and her family,and the man is shamelessly cheating on her....it's not about her not being in the country,if she were pregnant and couldn't have sex,he'll still cheat on her,anyhow,he'll still find some excuse to cheat on her. Marriage isn't for everyone.

Uneducated illiterate

Please pardon me.....I blame PMS

Amelian:




Gun for it when you are single as a lady.. Not when you are married... Smhhh

Sounds like my brother inlaw

ok

A husband that would cheat would still cheat even if the wife gives up everything to stay at home and be his bedmate.

OP, if your friend refuses to listen to you, threaten to report him to a sibling or sever ties with him.

g

nubian999:
These women blaming HER for His infidelity

Women I weep for us. Why do we hate each other so

The wife is working towards bettering their family while he tears it apart. She is also lonely and those women blame her for his sin.

@Op there's nothing you can do but learn from his mistake. It ain't your marriage or responsibility so mind your own business before people blame for his fvck up and say you broke them up.

She may not be lonely

You've said it all jare

DarkRebel101:


This probably qualifies as the dumbest comment I've seen since last week on all the social media platforms that I frequent.

According to Amelian, any woman who has been walked down the aisle ought to osculate her academic aspirations goodbye. And why? For a reason as tenuous as preventing her husband from diverting his gaze onto other women.

You might as well ask her to consign her life dreams to the incinerator because she now has a rock on her finger.
...

See, this is why I suggested that you be a MILF and consider dating younger guys.

Younger guys = Younger spërm = Sharper and more discerning mind.