1. “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called
my office and told me that Barack Obama’s
birth certificate is a fraud”

Trump was determined to ‘expose’ President
Obama’s birthplace back in 2012, and even
claimed to have sent investigators to Hawaii in
the hopes of proving Obama wasn’t born in the
United States.

2. “Robert Pattinson should not take back
Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a
dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do
much better!”

Clearly Donald is a Team Edward kind of guy…

3. “Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both
inside and out. I fully understand why her
former husband left her for a man – he made
a good decision.”

Trump always has charming things to say
about successful, prominent women – but he
stooped particularly low with this comment
about Huffington Post founder.

4. “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the
media write as long as you’ve got a young,
and beautiful, piece of ass.”

Trump proves (again) that he views a woman’s
looks over anything else…

5. “I will build a great wall – and nobody
builds walls better than me, believe me – and
I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a
great, great wall on our southern border, and I
will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my
words.”

Oh for goodness sake.

6. “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not
sending the best. They’re not sending you,
they’re sending people that have lots of
problems and they’re bringing those problems
with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring
crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume,
are good people.”

Just another casually racial slur, then…

7. “Our great African-American President
hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the
thugs who are so happily and openly
destroying Baltimore.”

Don’t worry, his racist outbursts aren’t just
directed at Mexicans


8. “If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie
O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that
fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re
fired.’”

Trump has infamously hated on Rosie
O’Donnell, making crude, sexist and
misogynistic remarks about her on multiple
occasions.

9. “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted
with me – consciously or unconsciously.
That’s to be expected.”

Because of course, no woman can resist
Trump’s charms. [Throws up on keyboard]

10. “One of they key problems today is that
politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t
go into government.


11. “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
And not that fabulous barnet of yours?

12. “It’s freezing and snowing in New York –
we need global warming!”

Definitely not missing the point…

13. “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter,
perhaps I’d be dating her.”



14. “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it
has been well documented, are various other
parts of my body.”



15. “I have never seen a thin person drinking
Diet Coke.”

We’re glad he’s so concerned about the obesity
crisis.

16. “I think the only difference between me
and the other candidates is that I’m more
honest and my women are more beautiful.”


17. “You’re disgusting.”
To put this into context, Donald Trump said this
to the opposing lawyer during a court case
when she asked for a medical break to pump
breast milk for her three-month-old daughter.

18. “The point is, you can never be too
greedy.”

Campaign slogan = sorted.

19. “Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage
tonight!”

In his Twitter liveblogging of the Democratic
debate, Trump seemed to think he was
watching a talent show rather than looking for
the next POTUS.

20. “My Twitter has become so powerful that I
can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”



21. “My IQ is one of the highest — and you all
know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or
insecure; it’s not your fault.”

Don’t worry, we won’t.

22. “I have so many fabulous friends who
happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
What does that even mean?

23. “The other candidates — they went in,
they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t
work. They sweated like dogs…How are they
gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna
happen.”

Because sweating = the inability to solve a
political crisis. Gotcha.

24. “Look at those hands, are they small
hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio]
referred to my hands: ‘If they’re small,
something else must be small.’ I guarantee
you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

Along with the petition to keep him out of the
UK, can we also campaign for Trump to stop
talking about his penis?

25. “Thanks sweetie. That’s nice”
Said Donald in typically patronising style to a
female 9/11 survivor. Inappropriate – and quite
creepy.

26. “Lyin’ Ted Cruz just used a picture of
Melania from a shoot in his ad. Be careful,
Lyin’ Ted, or I will spill the beans on your
wife!”



27. “I was down there, and I watched our
police and our firemen, down on 7-Eleven,
down at the World Trade Center, right after it
came down”



28. “The only card [Hillary Clinton] has is the
woman’s card. She’s got nothing else to offer
and frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I
don’t think she’d get 5 percent of the vote.

29. “Number one, I have great respect for
women. I was the one that really broke the
glass ceiling on behalf of women, more than
anybody in the construction industry.”

Thank you Donald. Thank you for all your help.

30. “I’m just thinking to myself right now, we
should just cancel the election and just give it
to Trump, right?”

I wanna see this guy perform wonders, one of which is to send illegal immigrants back home!!