kaboninc:


If my sister or a female friend or if me, I'll tell her that it's best we're separated that be forcefully joined together.

Sometimes we have a choice to say no, but do we also have the power and strength to insist on NO?

Until we know what circumstances the op found himself, we can't conclude. They both never wanted the union....at least from the op's pov

You didn't have the power and strength to say No but you do now... SMH

btw, you sure you ain't the op?

PresVA:
You didn't have the power and strength to say No but you do now... SMH

btw, you sure you ain't the op?

No am not.

And yes, you can have the choice to say no but still lack the strength to enforce it.

Please don't misunderstand me. You have the power to say NO but still may not have the strength to enforce it.

wapu:
@op your selfishness is disgusting.

You remind me of my husband.
I'm in a similar situation as your wife but our parents didn't introduce us.

We met in school and dated for 4 years.
My husband chased me like a possessed person.
We've done trad and I got pregnant and that was when he realized he doesn't love me.

I've been carrying my pregnancy alone but with love from his family and mine.
I'm not sure I can forgive him if he eventually comes back for reconciliation.

We don't live together and I haven't seen him for like 5 months.
I'm 8 months gone, have a good job can take care of myself and my baby.

My God spare us from devilish men like you and my husband.

God will help you my dear sister...don't relent because in no time u will smile so much that he will know your God is alive.

Congrats In advance...

kaboninc:


At the detriment of his happiness?

He can make it work

Pidgin2:



He can make it work

Not in all cases

Dking99:
...Hey I am in a fix right now. The summary of the very long story is this girl who lives with me an carrying my son now was somehow in my life by parental influence.We are living together but not wedded. I assisted her to gain admission and was a family friend but along the line, she surreptitiously endeared herself to my parents. It was obvoius to both of us that there was no love between us but our parets, I mean my Dad and her Mum really wanted us together. I broke up with a lovely friend just to please my dad and relief the subtle pressure from this girl. I went and paid her bride price before we ever had sex. During marriage course, it was clear that marriage built on pity and parental influence was bound to fail. We stopped meanwhile she was already pregnant for me... I made a mistake by trying to please people at the detriment of my happiness. Please how do I wriggle myself out of this situation?

"You are in a fix?" Why won't you be, when you are wussiness personified. A man playing victim? How tragic. You even manage to make "living with me and carrying my son", sound like something that happened whilst you were under general anaesthetic .

You used the word "surreptitious - one I like - but how does one surreptitiously make others endeared to them? What you are doing is shifting responsibility, and using euphemism to label her scheming and manipulative. She did this in conjunction with your parents right?

I wonder about the "lovely friend" you broke up with. She probably dodged a bullet. Hope she realises that. You were never truly committed to her. You brought her up to reinforce your own victim-hood, as opposed to express true remorse for breaking up with her. You weakling.

A man doesn't just "go with the flow", he takes charge and "changes the course", even if it's only of his own life. For crying out loud. And personal happiness that's all about you and your feelings is overrated, if not potentially destructive.. A man takes his place, does his duty, sacrificially if need be. That's what should be the source of his joy.

"Wriggle out". Such juvenile wording and immature thinking. You don't wiggle kan, kan. You face your responsibility - whatever you decide to do - to the unborn child and mother. Start by taking charge and putting others first.

I champion men, not mannequins. Masculinity not it's masquerades .


TV

Berbierklaus:
[b]I just fed up for this [size=25pt]SPERM DONORS[/size] in the name of men roaming d*cks,you claim your family pushed you into impregnanting a woman and paying her bride price,are you confessing to be a dunce I wonder how a grown ass man will say he was manipulated into whatever (this habit of men not taking responsibility for their actions Is something I'm yet to understand in Nigerian Sperm donors)

Mr you Berra start loving that woman,you want to abandon her now that she is heavy with pregnancy,let any man dare that with me,he will never set his eyes on that kid

Lesson to ladies out there,don't go and be entering the family way with any man that has not done all the marriage required,do court wedding join sef,these Sperm donors are just confused people.

mtchwwwww,see what he even wrote sef,I know the Nairaland chauvinists will soon come and type what you want to hear,i hope your own sisters don't go thru what you want to put this lady thru.


Quote Me with sense o,I dey para[/b]

Why do you always write in black text?

I have read all your comments. Replying everyone could cause a cataclysmic chain reaction. Some comments made sense others were nonsense but I am not throwing the baby away with the dirty water. Someone wanted to know what we stopped. It was the marriage course. And on what makes the situation uncomfortable?... hmmm you wouldn't understand how it feels to be in family quagmire.

The situation on ground is just in the incubator till she puts to bed, we can both correct our mistakes...

TV01:

"You are in a fix?" Why won't you be, when you are wussiness personified. A man playing victim? How tragic. You even manage to make "living with me and carrying my son", sound like something that happened whilst you were under general anaesthetic .

You used the word "surreptitious - one I like - but how does one surreptitiously make others endeared to them? What you are doing is shifting responsibility, and using euphemism to label her scheming and manipulative. She did this in conjunction with your parents right?

I wonder about the "lovely friend" you broke up with. She probably dodged a bullet. Hope she realises that. You were never truly committed to her. You brought her up to reinforce your own victim-hood, as opposed to express true remorse for breaking up with her. You weakling.

A man doesn't just "go with the flow", he takes charge and "changes the course", even if it's only of his own life. For crying out loud. And personal happiness that's all about you and your feelings is overrated, if not potentially destructive.. A man takes his place, does his duty, sacrificially if need be. That's what should be the source of his joy.

"Wriggle out". Such juvenile wording and immature thinking. You don't wiggle kan, kan. You face your responsibility - whatever you decide to do - to the unborn child and mother. Start by taking charge and putting others first.

I champion men, not mannequins. Masculinity not it's masquerades .


TV

I owe you bro...

Oga,please assume you are not op and you are not in this 'fix'.

What would you do if the lady were your sister?

Charlie,fix ya wedding date and stop looking for answers that you already have.
They keep telling us to use condoms and not to let some minutes pleasure ruin our parole...

Those folks that tell those tales weren't kidding. ..you didn't sheath and you let it fly...

Calm down and say hello to the 'baby'!

We love you Charlie!

Onegai:


Belle.

See, Nigerian boys and girls grow up in a Nigerian Family, surrounded by Nigerian Society. Just imagine all what you have heard and seen about Marriage in Nigeria, what percentage was good? But whilst girls are taught to accept, manage and deal with the situation, 75% of boys are taught nothing positive. So the girls and boys grow up and when Adult, Marital and Parental responsibilities rear their heads, the boys usually go fleeing. Their flight usually coincides with "She's pregnant for me".

I'm not bashing guys, it is a guy that explained this to me. He said no matter how much a Naija guy claims to love a girl, once she is pregnant and they have not wedded fully, the guy goes into panic mode. Because he has not spent his life preparing for Marriage, he spent it preparing for How to Make Money, Buy Car, Build House in His Village, etc. My friend did the same thing to his wife. My hubby would do the same and judging by so many tales on NL, so would 75% of Naija boys.

I haven't met a single one of the other 25%, you know, the "my bf heard I was pregnant, stepped up to the plate instead of panicking and taking out his fear on me and fully supported me till this moment as my husband". I'm really hoping to meet one soon.

Here!

Dking99:


...the deed is done? I am ready to forfeit the bride price o, if it is not church wedding, I am not married o!

...When my child comes, I will take full responsibility sure, but I think we have to separate for good.

As long as you have paid her bride price, you have married her. God recognizes it. It is not until you visit the Church you are married; at all. That's an error. Marriage comes in as an agreement between the bride's parent, yours, the bride and groom. That's the witnesses needed. Now, concerning your wife, don't be sad. You can make a lemonade out of your lemon (however that saying goes). Do LOVE her, she is now your wife..it is not easy at first considering what you said but if you want to have PEACE as I can see you, follow the commandment of God: love her as Christ love His church and she in return should submit to you. Also, take charge of your family coz it looks as if you are not the ship captain. It is you&her against the world now. It will do you a lot of good if you follow this advice, and be close to God.