Do Relationships break because people fall out of love or simply were not in love from the beginning? How do you know you are in love with someone? What are the basic ways to improve relationships? Why are marriages breaking Up?

Well, here are some questions that run through my mind every single day when I see relationships fail. I think I have seen about a few and I can share some of my thoughts and I would like you to share yours too.

Would love to make this a continuous thread so that we can learn from the mistake of others and develop our relationships and avoid another loss of Relationship. Let's get started.

1. Lack of Sincere Purpose
Most people if asked why they are in a relationship cannot simply give a sincere answer for why they have a partner. Well, everyone has a partner so I also have a partner. Everyone is getting married so I have to get married. Most people are in a relationship simply because they are following the wave of life. Following what others are doing.
Take a few minutes of your life today and write on a piece of paper why you really want the relationship you are having. Some people find it difficult to even be sincere to theirselves. When you cannot trust yourself, then can you be trusted.
Find a quiet time to yourself and explain to yourself why you want this relationship. Whatever reason it is, write it down.
Let's start with this exercise and move on from here.
Share your Purpose here with us and let's help one another.

ohhh life

2. Beyond having a sincere purpose, some couples have no reason for being together beyond sex. I want to marry because God says Marry. I want to marry because I want to have someone to spend my life with in ease and in difficulty.

Most people nowadays simply do things because their friends and colleagues do it. I want a big wedding because my sisters wedding was big. My dear, you and your sister are not competitors. People organize weddings such that people simply come to eat, meet other people and just enjoy. They are even not interested in the name of the couples.

I believe it is time we set our priorities right in our relationship and get to do things because it would make our relationship life better rather than because others are doing the same thing

Thanks for Reading

azibit:
2. Beyond having a sincere purpose, some couples have no reason for being together beyond sex. I want to marry because God says Marry. I want to marry because I want to have someone to spend my life with in ease and in difficulty.

Most people nowadays simply do things because their friends and colleagues do it. I want a big wedding because my sisters wedding was big. My dear, you and your sister are not competitors. People organize weddings such that people simply come to eat, meet other people and just enjoy. They are even not interested in the name of the couples.

I believe it is time we set our priorities right in our relationship and get to do things because it would make our relationship life better rather than because others are doing the same thing

Thanks for Reading

Nicely written.

for the potential lazy readers, the summary of the op's write up is ''when the purpose of something is not known, abuse is inevitable''.

3. Prayer
Some people say Nigerians are too religious. Well, it is because this whole planet cannot have been created by a string of randomness so it is better to stick with He who created the planet.

When we feel we do not need God, we have already created a foundation for a failed relationship. Never should you keep a relationship in a way God does not want. A lot of relationships are already misplaced in the sight of God and you want your relationship to work. Sorry Brother and Sister, ko le work.

Seeking God in any of our endeavors is important. Before starting any relationship or while in any relationship. Keep your call to God constant. tell Him to put you two together if that is going to be the best. If not, let everyone find his/her partner soon. Because we choose to be alone in our activities, God says Okay, handle your matter on your own. Couples should pray together, speak to God always.

Never have I seen a couple who has God as their pillar and they have failed. No, there would be challenges. but we can only become better in the face of challenges. Your current relationship problem does not mean God has forsaken you. He is simply preparing you for something greater.

I hope we start creating time to pray together as couples and I believe things would definitely get better
Thanks for Reading

4. Patience
The idea most of us have about marriage is like a machine that never develops any fault. A machine that continues to be new every single day. However, marriage is never like that. Marriage is like buying an old car and having to maintain for the rest of your life.

What makes marriages successful? It is a set of patience and persistence to make the relationship work. People who stay together forever always have to make extra effort at being patient. If you want to start a relationship, the most important key of what you need to have is you must be patient.

Always remember that the most important virtue any couple can have is PATIENCE. Always remember that the decision to make your relationship work is based on how patient you can be. No person is ever perfect, you simply have to be patient about the things you do not like your spouse for the things you like.

Please let's endeavor to make our relationships work. The rate of failed relationships creates an atmosphere bad for the upcoming generation. Please lets make a difference today. Be patient with your spouse till your spouse thinks My Dear, you are patient oooooo, whats the problem?

Thanks for Reading

convincing, thumbs up bro, #myfirst comment on NL

Nice write up op

I occasionally make wedding cakes and this is what I have observed. Many are in love with the notion of being married they love the fact that they are married it's a status symbol after all however the notion that marriage is a partnership is lost to many. I have sat with many brides and it does not surprise me anymore that they will plan and know about every detail in relation to the wedding but do not know the husband's favourite colour is or what his inner fear is what makes him laugh. It might sound petty to some but I am trying to make a point how well do you know someone before you marry them? Working to save a marriage means there is a chance to salvage how can you salvage what was not going to work in the first instance.

Raine80,you are going too far. Some girls marry because of the pictures that woUld be taken.I am really serious.I asked a 20 year old why she was getting married and the girl said she does not know oh but her pictures would be dope...like TF,seriously. No handwork,no sense,I doubt she knows she knows left from right,no knowledge about marriage and will still birth babies that migHt suffer because of divorce(jesus!!)

Every woman who wants to get married must build virtue,take your mind off instagram and have a purpose for getting married shikena.

mysticgal:
Raine80,you are going too far. Some girls marry because of the pictures that woUld be taken.I am really serious.I asked a 20 year old why she was getting married and the girl said she does not know oh but her pictures would be dope...like TF,seriously. No handwork,no sense,I doubt she knows she knows left from right,no knowledge about marriage and will still birth babies that migHt suffer because of divorce(jesus!!)

Every woman who wants to get married must build virtue,take your mind off instagram and have a purpose for getting married shikena.

That's a 20 year old for pete's sake. What do they know? Like seriously, what does a 20 year old know?

Many come on social media and show all manner of cow boy machismo, forgetting that it's one thing to talk and another thing to do.

The lack of maturity we see today is among what is responsible for the high rate of divorce in Nigeria today.

Many always fail to ask themselves, after wedding, what next? That's why they always tumble and find fault...

JoeBlocks:
That's a 20 year old for pete's sake. What do they know? Like seriously, what does a 20 year old know?

Many come on social media and show all manner of cow boy machismo, forgetting that it's one thing to talk and another thing to do.

The lack of maturity we see today is among what is responsible for the high rate of divorce in Nigeria today.

Many always fail to ask themselves, after wedding, what next? That's why they always tumble and find fault...

After which they say to themselves,I tried my best,which is obviously their best but unfortunately is not a good enough best.

mysticgal:

After which they say to themselves,I tried my best,which is obviously their best but unfortunately is not a good enough best.

Anything termed 'best' based on narrow mindedness and naivete isn't anybody's best.

Many people are more talk than action. How can you give your best when you don't even know where you're supposed to channel that best to in the first place.

I find the mindset of many people very funny nowadays.

mysticgal:
Raine80,you are going too far. Some girls marry because of the pictures that woUld be taken.I am really serious.I asked a 20 year old why she was getting married and the girl said she does not know oh but her pictures would be dope...like TF,seriously. No handwork,no sense,I doubt she knows she knows left from right,no knowledge about marriage and will still birth babies that migHt suffer because of divorce(jesus!!)

Every woman who wants to get married must build virtue,take your mind off instagram and have a purpose for getting married shikena.

So what do you think I was saying in my response? Going to far? Hardly I should have said more!

mysticgal:

Every woman who wants to get married must build virtue,take your mind off instagram and have a purpose for getting married

Nice.

JoeBlocks:
That's a 20 year old for pete's sake. What do they know? Like seriously, what does a 20 year old know?

Many come on social media and show all manner of cow boy machismo, forgetting that it's one thing to talk and another thing to do.

The lack of maturity we see today is among what is responsible for the high rate of divorce in Nigeria today.

Many always fail to ask themselves, after wedding, what next? That's why they always tumble and find fault...

My point was what you are saying here , the emphasis is on getting married but not why am I getting married, what is going to happen after the cakes, presents and fan fare has gone? You have committed to do something without the compatability to support you.

Raine80:

My point was what you are saying here , the emphasis is on getting married but not why am I getting married, what is going to happen after the cakes, presents and fan fare has gone? You have committed to do something without the compatability to support you.

That compatibility is what many still fail to grasp. Support is suppose to come from the two side of a marriage (male and female).

One who commit into anything without knowing what that commitment is about is heading for failure.

Many still believe marriage is about the gilts and glamour, or even wearing a wedding ring and branding the status of "I'm married".

Long (uneccessary) story.

Relationships fail because the parties involved take each other for granted. They get too comfortable and neglect sets in. They stop dating and courting each other. Boyfriend and girlfriends become husband and wife and children comes and the fun stops.


I think people should treat their relationships like a job! Do what you do to keep ya job. Work hard, show up on time, keep yer boss happy etc.

Same should go for relationships. If you want a happy relationships, put in the work. Lazy folks should not get into one. Simple.

JoeBlocks:
That compatibility is what many still fail to grasp. Support is suppose to come from the two side of a marriage (male and female).

One who commit into anything without knowing what that commitment is about is heading for failure.

Many still believe marriage is about the gilts and glamour, or even wearing a wedding ring and branding the status of "I'm married".

This is why I don't comprehend the "Raine80 you are going to far" comment. Many persue the status rather than the reality. It will never work if there is no common ground no foundation or familiarity.If you don't each other how can you work together to make something work? The mind boggles !

Raine80:

This is why I don't comprehend the "Raine80 you are going to far" comment. Many persue the status rather than the reality. It will never work if there is no common ground no foundation or familiarity.If you don't each other how can you work together to make something work? The mind boggles !

The mind will continue to boggle as long as people lack depth.

Look at the society we live in today. All you see is fakeness, pretending, narrow mindedness, holier than thou attitude and what have you. Then you'll ask yourself how a person who has all this negative attribute can make the home work.

A person's personal attitude is a pointer if that person's marriage is heading for failure or success.

JoeBlocks:
The mind will continue to boggle as long as people lack depth.

Look at the society we live in today. All you see if fakeness, pretending, narrow mindedness, holier than thou attitutde and what have you. Then you'll ask yourself how a person who has all this negative attribute can make the home work.

A person's personal attitude is a pointer if that person's marriage is heading for failure or success.

People used to be so transparent now ,they come with layers like an onion and few are patient enough to go though the layers before committing.

Raine80:

People used to be so transparent now ,they come with layers like an onion and few are patient enough to go though the layers before committing.

The layers are usually full of fakeness, pretending and all manner of what I'm ashamed to even mentioned.

Who has time to go through all those annoying layers. What happened to 'take me as I am'?

JoeBlocks:
The layers are usually full of fakeness, pretending and all manner of what I'm ashamed to even mentioned.

Who has time to go through all those annoying layers. What happened to 'take me as I am'?

Many don't know why they are to begin with ...how can they expect anyone to know them?
It's quite refreshing speaking to you ( I digress slightly )

Raine80:

Many don't know why they are to begin with ...how can they expect anyone to know them?
It's quite refreshing speaking to you ( I digress slightly )

It's the world we live in. Full of uninformed opinion.

It's always a pleasure speaking to a free mind as refreshing as yours.

JoeBlocks:
It's the world we live in. Full of uninformed opinion.

It's always a pleasure speaking to a free mind as refreshing as yours.

Why thank you...
This forum does not seem like such a bleak place

Raine80:

Why thank you...
This forum does not seem like such a bleak place

LOL. Believe me, it isn't. It's like Nigeria. Where you see different people from all works of life.

You just have to spot the difference and sieve the nonsense, from the sense.

I tell you, this forum have added great value to me, better than FaceBook or Twitter ever did.

And you're welcome.

JoeBlocks:
LOL. Believe me, it isn't. It's like Nigeria. Where you see different people from all works of life.

You just have to spot the difference and sieve the nonsense, from the sense.

I tell you, this forum have added great value to me, better than FaceBook of Twitter ever did.

And you're welcome.

There are times and there are many when I just read posts and I start to respond and then I stop myself as I realise there is no point. On the odd occasion I find a gem!

Raine80:

There are times and there are many when I just read posts and I start to respond and then I stop myself as I realise there is no point. On the odd occasion I find a gem!

A gem is a gem, as rare and precious, but a gem isn't a gem cos gems have class.

It's always nice to separate gem from stones. And precious stone from precious stones.

JoeBlocks:
A gem is a gem, as rare and precious, but a gem isn't a gem cos gems have class.

It's always nice to separate gem from stones. And precious stone from precious stones.

Well said

Raine80:

Well said

Thanks. Will I be letting my audacity get the better of me if I quiver to ask to know you more?.