[quote author=JoeBlocks post=51635617]Thanks. Will I be letting my audacity get the better of me if I quiver to ask to know you more?. [/quotes
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Raine80:
I occasionally make wedding cakes and this is what I have observed. Many are in love with the notion of being married they love the fact that they are married it's a status symbol after all however the notion that marriage is a partnership is lost to many. I have sat with many brides and it does not surprise me anymore that they will plan and know about every detail in relation to the wedding but do not know the husband's favourite colour is or what his inner fear is what makes him laugh. It might sound petty to some but I am trying to make a point how well do you know someone before you marry them? Working to save a marriage means there is a chance to salvage how can you salvage what was not going to work in the first instance.

You're absolutely right. Most women are only happy with the wedding, other things are secondary to them. That is why marriages collapse.

DeeTus:
You're absolutely right. Most women are only happy with the wedding, other things secondary to them. That is why marriages collapse.

There is no desire in some to understand why things are not working. It's two people here not one, one person cannot be in a marriage!

Raine80:

There is no desire in some to understand why things are not working. It's two people here not one, one person cannot be in a marriage!

It's mostly women. There's a girl, though a friend whom her family pressurized to marry a specific man but within her heart she did not love the guy. They are divorced now. But if you see the wedding pictures, you could hardly know she wasn't in love with the man but just the wedding.

This girl is not from Nigeria. She's from France.

DeeTus:
It's mostly women. There's a girl, though a friend whom her family pressurized to marry a specific man but within her heart she did not love the guy. They are divorced now. But if you see the wedding pictures, you could hardly know she wasn't in love with the man but just the wedding.

This girl is not from Nigeria. She's from France.

I am sure people will talk about the wedding as if that's a reason why she should have stayed married.

5. Misconception About Love
What is Love? Am I In Love? What is the reason why I am in Love?

Truth be told. A lot of people are simply sex starved and any avenue to resolve that issue seems like love to a lot of us. I actually believe LOVE is far more than we have seen in Movies or have read in novels. Love is strictly not what we think it is. So what is LOVE?

Personally, I believe LOVE is the ability to help someone change into becoming better while sticking with them in their bad time. So can you simply love someone and stop loving them. I believe LOVE is simply a process, not a product. It is a commitment to make someone better no matter how bad or inadequate they think they are. LOVE is about making that person better than he/she was yesterday. LOVE is a two-way thing. When you LOVE and you are not loved in return, LOVE becomes something else. LOVE is about communicating every single thing you have in mind with your partner without fear of being ridiculed or being disgraced. LOVE is caring for others even when they do not care.

Simply, LOVE is doing something for the other person which in turn makes the other person feels good and better. At the beginning of a relationship, both couples do things to make the other person look good, but after a while, it stops. At this point, you say there is no LOVE between the couples anymore. As long as we try to make the other person better, we are definitely in LOVE.

Our parents love us so much which is why they always do things to make us better. As long as couples do things to become better. The process of LOVE has indeed found a foundation. Couples out there should please endeavor to make the relationship better so that future generations do not view relationship as means to serve sex and simply procreate.

We can all do better by making the commitment today to make the relationship better. To make my partner better but also never forgetting to make myself better.
Thanks for Reading

6. Communication
Communication is one of the greatest gift any relationship can have. To be able to communicate your deepest fears to your spouse without any fear of embarrassment is so key that without it, relationships are just a bunch of different people without any common interest. Always find time in this hard time in Nigeria to confide in your spouse some of your fears. You cannot trust your spouse, so who can you trust.

Being in a relationship without the commitment to communication is like entering a plane where the pilot and the copilot do not communicate all through the journey. Well, there is a very great chance that the journey would crash somewhere along the way.

Remember, relationships are about teamwork. Communication strengthens teams. So make the step together to be better in your relationship. Discuss your greatest fears with your spouse and never feel afraid of doing that.

These are not the Almighty Not Wrong Advice. They are simple words that I hope would help build relationships.

Thanks for Reading

Raine80:

[b]This is why I don't comprehend the "Raine80 you are going to far" comment. [/b]Many persue the status rather than the reality. It will never work if there is no common ground no foundation or familiarity.If you don't each other how can you work together to make something work? The mind boggles !

She was supporting you. She meant u went too deep with your example abd that ladies marry for less flimsy reasons.

5minsmadness:


She was supporting you. She meant u went too deep with your example abd that ladies marry for less flimsy reasons.

Then say it like it is ...

JoeBlocks:
That's a 20 year old for pete's sake. What do they know? Like seriously, what does a 20 year old know?

Many come on social media and show all manner of cow boy machismo, forgetting that it's one thing to talk and another thing to do.

The lack of maturity we see today is among what is responsible for the high rate of divorce in Nigeria today.

Many always fail to ask themselves, after wedding, what next? That's why they always tumble and find fault...

a 20-yr old is an adult, no excuses. if she doesn't know anything, then the more reason why she shouldn't be getting married.

iliketheSunrise:
a 20-yr old is an adult, no excuses. if she doesn't know anything, then the more reason why she shouldn't be getting married.

Yes, an adult who still depend on his or her parents for survival.

Being an adult entail more than just being 18 years old.

JoeBlocks:
Yes, an adult who still depend on his or her parents for survival.

Being an adult entail more than just being 18 years old.

i said "if she doesn't know anything, that's the more reason why she shouldn't be getting married".

iliketheSunrise:
i said "if she doesn't know anything, that's the more reason why she shouldn't be getting married".

Okay. I hear you. Nice smile and nice dimple, if that's you on your profile?.

JoeBlocks:
Okay. I hear you. Nice smile and nice dimple, if that's you on your profile?.

yes, that's me. thanks.

iliketheSunrise:
yes, that's me. thanks.

You're welcome. Tell me, it's your smile as charming in person, as it is on picture?

Hi,
No. 3 was well written. The problem lies with the fact that more often than not, it wasn't God's will for the specific people to get married. It was moreso lust (or other factors)...let's be honest. However, if God put it together, then it will NOT fail.

7. Daily Habits
Have you ever noticed why there is a strong relationship between kids especially those who do a lot of thing together? It is because most of their habits conform to one another. Kids bathe together, eat together, sleep in the same room, fight together and as such are always together.

How many relationships these days can boast of even eating together? When habits of couples do not intersect, the idea of love is never present. People who want to take themselves as couples must always learn to do a lot of things together. When you have habits that are always done together in the house, it builds a really great relationship.

Make a decision today to start something together that creates a family habit. Couples can pick any of the following habits and start with together because the only thing most couples do is only sex. Beyond sex, there are a lot of other activities that can build greater bonds of relationships

1. Cleaning -- I mean wash together, bathe together, have your nails cleaned and trimmed by your spouse
2. Eat Together
3. Plan your day Together
4. Pray together.

And a lots more. Some of these tips can be funny, but the pathway to a great relationship is always about starting small

Thanks for Reading

8. Compliments
We do things because we believe they are the right things to do. However, we become better at doing those stuff when we know someone on the other side appreciates whatever it is we are doing. So is relationship, when a partner does something for the other, he/she feels they are doing the right thing.

However, when not complimented, we quickly feel what we are doing is not really necessary or important and we want to stop. A lot of relationships today simply fade off due to the lack of compliments. Kindly make it a habit to express gratitude for anything your partner does or gives. It really means a lot to couples.
Kindly make it a habit to express gratitude and compliments to your partners no matter how small whatever it is they have done.

Thanks for Reading

Raine80:
I occasionally make wedding cakes and this is what I have observed. Many are in love with the notion of being married they love the fact that they are married it's a status symbol after all however the notion that marriage is a partnership is lost to many. I have sat with many brides and it does not surprise me anymore that they will plan and know about every detail in relation to the wedding but do not know the husband's favourite colour is or what his inner fear is what makes him laugh. It might sound petty to some but I am trying to make a point how well do you know someone before you marry them? Working to save a marriage means there is a chance to salvage how can you salvage what was not going to work in the first instance.

You shouldn't only be making wedding cakes. You could also become a Low key marriage counsellor, Maybe start a seminar or something

truthsayer007:


You shouldn't only be making wedding cakes. You could also become a Low key marriage counsellor, Maybe start a seminar or something

Not many people admit they have problems with their marriage ...they focus on external causes few look inward.

Raine80:

Not many people admit they have problems with their marriage ...they focus on external causes few look inward.

I can't but agree with your post. Most people find it easy to accuse the other person or the other thing or even the government of not being responsible while we cannot even hold ourselves accountable for our own deeds and mistakes. Being human is about making mistakes and correcting them, but most importantly admitting that we have a weakness and we are trying to work on it

Couples should take time to review their personal being and decide whether to continue on the path of accusing every single thing in their lives for their problems or simply take the bulls by the horn and decide to turn their lives around because you and only one are responsible for what we become.

Please let us give better relationships a chance so that future generations can believe in love in relationships rather than an avenue to seek for sexual fulfillment only.

Thanks for Reading

9. Whats Your Goal?
So you really like your spouse and everything is going on fine. Wait before you proceed, what plans do you have for your family? I mean in the next 5 years, where do you see your family? What impact would you have had in your family.

Keep trying to develop yourself and your family every single day because if you have no goal you are strictly adhering to, you would move around life like a dirt on the ocean following wherever the tired carries it.

Make a plan today of what exactly you want to achieve for your family. It must not be something very big, just start small. Start with changing yourself before you ask your family members to join you.

Take it upon yourself to change for the best. The world needs more of good people and it starts with YOU

So I specifically have nothing to say today. But this also happens in relationships when you specifically have nothing to say. Understand when your spouse is in their down times and want to be left alone for a while. We love our spouses but sometimes we simply just want to be alone.

Understanding this would create a balance in our relationships. But always try to understand what makes our spouse moody and try to abstain from it.

Enjoy your weekend.

10. Fight for It
So you decided you no longer care for your relationship and you want to get out, before you make that decision, note that there is a 50% chance you might never get a relationship better than that one you are leaving behind. Try within your human power to make the relationship work before you slam the door.

It is always easy to leave and start another relationship, but it is harder to stay and maintain the current relationship. Always think through before you use the exit door. However, if it is a relationship where you are morally and verbally abused. Dump everything I have said and make it to the exit door.

For whichever relationship you are in, kindly take your time to do your best to make it work. The world needs more love stories beyond Romeo and Juliet. I want to write about your relationship.

Thanks for Reading

There is no one formula or big secret of a successful relationship. People in successful relationships just have that partner that fits them perfectly, they do not go into relationships with people who are not a good fit for them.

Reminds me of silly threads on front-page like " my girlfriend is lazy" so why are you with someone who is lazy
"my girlfriend is always asking for money and fast food" so why aren't you with someone who is independent and a good cook

DeeTus:
It's mostly women. There's a girl, though a friend whom her family pressurized to marry a specific man but within her heart she did not love the guy. They are divorced now. But if you see the wedding pictures, you could hardly know she wasn't in love with the man but just the wedding.

This girl is not from Nigeria. She's from France.

And do u know the fault is not from the girl.
Have noticed one thing in Nigeria, married couples, even pastors will tell their Congregation, especially the single ladies, that the man God has chosen for u as your husband, may not be the kind of guy, a lady may naturally fancy.
I will be like WTF!
A guy who claims to be a marriage counselor preached such to me during the weekend and I stopped him inbetween his speech and told him thats a Pure lie from Hell.
How can i marry a guy that his touch repulse me, there's nothing I virtually See in that guy , that I like and u say thats my husband?
Oh please try another trick again!

I told him, look it's not about money. Have met guys whom I don't fancy at all, they are stinkingly rich but for crying out loud, I find him repulsive and such guy one will tell me he is my husband from God.

I just laughed. Nigerians can confuse themselves sha.
I rather wait, be patient and be with my own husband whom we both click spiritually, physically and otherwise. Such relationship or marriage is so easy to handle.
It's not stressful, it's not annoying and it's not overbearing.
Ladies should quit listening to such trash and marry whom their heart wants and their love is reciprocated back. Don't ignore your intuition about any guy or suitor that comes your way. Your intuition is the best oracle to seek for your answers.
Parents and people will only confuse u. Follow your heart and stick with it.
Well that's what am doing anyways. I wont settle for less, no matter what.

11. You alone can make it successful
The finest lie of all times is to think that people stay in a relationship because they use all the advice they get from relationship books and forums. The ability of a marriage to remain rock solid is to be able to be together even after going through very tough times together and never giving up on one another.

The sincere secret is if both of you are indeed willing and ever ready to make it work. The advice people give are just what we feel can guide you but the ultimate secret of long lasting relationship is the undying commitment to make the relationship work out.

Always do the best you can as far as you believe the relationship is indeed the best for you. Relationships don't fix themselves. Humans have to

So enough of the advice, If you have any experience in your relationship that you believe can really help anyone, kindly share with us. The world needs more of that

Thanks

Who The Heck Are You?
Sometimes people in a relationship want someone who is nice, friendly, religious and a lot more. But are they themselves that kind of a person. You cannot give what you do not have. Before seeking for a righteous and pious spouse, you have to be that righteous and pious spouse first.

It is important that in our journey of wanting to have good spouses that we ourselves are indeed good. Try today to make changes that you would like to see in your spouse. Make that change in yourself, then you can seek a spouse who has those characteristics

Thanks for Reading