"MY MARIAH CAREY STORY"
most people often ask me why I listen to a lot of Carey's music,here is the story.
between 2009 to 2011 was horrible years for me and my family, many things happened that did changed my/our story forever,
I lost four of my siblings to death between these years, it was a horrible experience looking into the eyes of your loved ones and watch them fight their last, I could still picture everything in my mind.
as if that wasn't enough my mother lost her job due to retrenchment and weeks later she was struck with stroke, it was too much to bear, I slipped into chronic depression, I saw no reason to live again,
In a blink of an eye, everything was gone. Everything was over, and no one cared. No one cared. I often ask myself
'Why is life worth living if there us nothing to do here,why should I bother continuing it if all I know is pain"?
actually No one ever lacks a good reason for suicide,
the agony of the sleepless, tortured hours spent watching my world get smaller and uglier, were unbearable,my mind was so confused and altered,
I spent a lot of time wondering what dying feels like. What dying sounds like. If I’ll burst like those notes, let out my last cries of pain, and then go silent forever. Or maybe I’ll turn into a shadowy static that’s barely there, if you just listen hard enough. The thought of suicide was a great consolation to me, the only joy I derived was I knew somehow I wouldn't be here anymore, life had no meaning to me.
one day, I was lying down in a sleepless solitude, and mariah's hero was blasting from my sister's phone, the song suddenly gave me some sort of strength, I've never had in years, I kept reflecting on the line "when it seems all hope is gone look inside of you and be strong"
that moment I knew no one could save me except myself, I knew i had to be strong for everybody,
if anything should happen to me my mother wouldn't bear it,
from that moment I started listening to her music,songs like hero, can't take that away, through the rain, close my eyes, petals,anytime you need a friend,my saving grace,when you believe,iam free,side effects,etc gave me major strength, and I started reading the Bible too, it took so long before I finally began to heal, by that time my mum had recovered too, it was a slow buh steady journey, The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.
I no longer wanted to live, but God &
MariahCarey 's Music helped me to not make that decision,her songs helped me fight my darkest moments, i would forever be grateful to her.
we all should show empathy to those struggling with depression and suicidal thought if you know any,
Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.
There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.
That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.
The world is so cold and dark these days . We need love . People are passing through a lot right now , so next time you want to yell at someone, remember to operate from a place of love . You never know , you just might be saving a life