ENOUGH (the Voice of Reason)
This is just a rational mind who tried to see things from where I sit on the fence. I know so many people will say “have you been there before? Or you have not been there so you don’t know where it pinches”. But really, does one need to be in a system of marriage before one knows that domestic violence is a bad disease that once one starts it, it continues and gets worse till one liberates herself. I know some people will say that some men are also victims of domestic violence (the type of men I call women, in fact, not just women but weak women).
The African setting that raised a woman of which I still believe in its discipline have in a way inputted a norm into our venom of which the women of our mothers’ generation have made staying in marriage a do or die affair which had led so many of them to their early grave. The African setting which taught women that men are to be their all and all and whatever they do, they are dependent on men have made so many of them to have wallowed in unexplainable pain. “Women are expected to stay married irrespective of what they face” (according to Mama’s Words(Mama Africa) ). The shame of not succeeding in marriage and the societal view of what they know not about (really, does the society need any form of evidence apart from the result and your cry out before they believe in your pain. Believe me, that there will be the first to criticize you at the end, like “where did she keep herself before it got to this stage”). Many women believe that once a woman is married due to African settings or religious belief of which Africans embrace like magnet to iron more than the westerners that even brought this religion that marriage “must be a do or die affair” have made plenty women wallow and die in pain because, the mindset of an African lady or woman is bent on all and all in marriage and in husband. Cause the choice of getting a divorce and not having the “MRS” umbrella is more like a taboo in our society and it goes against the grains of the African society and render the woman unfit and a disgrace to the African society (my foot).
Coming up with the excuse that “I can’t live my children alone (why not take the necessary action and be alive for your children rather than die with time and render your children motherless or even wanderers).”
It is enough and a voice should sound like that of reason to some of the young girls of my time. Be wary of the type of man you move with, how should a boyfriend be a type that slaps a girl and you still call it love, that’s not love, it’s called “evol” if it has a meaning. Why! Eehn why should a woman be beaten as a sign of love (not forgetting that there is a type of relationship arrangement that one party have to receive all the beating for the pleasure of the other, that one nauna business but some persons still fit die for there) those women or young ladies who tend to remain a victim of domestic violence are people I call “people of LSE (Low Self Esteem, no matter how high and mighty you are). The need for women to view the issue objectively to acquire or to be a form of self-awareness and a lead to liberation and self-love. The need to weigh your options and take the necessary step out of bondage cause if the mode is not changed, one will be stuck and doomed for life.
My view, until women who experience domestic violence choose to love themselves and start to feel and know how important they are, and refuse to take up blame that aren’t theirs but will be held for their reaction which will have effect whether for a short of long term, then a great step against domestic violence will be made (cause I don’t think if you really like yourself, you go wan collect all the beating) and knowing what you really deserve, that which is the “BEST” cause Queens are treated with the best, then you will realize the inner peace and you won’t even see a passerby.
Can you imagine! Women are made to endure a drunken husband, a womanizer, children neglecter, wife neglecter, and all sorts of and reasonable characters. Why then should a woman be meant or expected to endure a wife beater (that is unreasonable, that should not be part of it, that is basically an abuse and can lead to early grave).
I stand against domestic violence of any form against women.
I am AishatAbubakar and I say, any family relationship between a man and a woman that has gone beyond communication and understanding and derogated into victim is no longer worth keeping cause every woman is a Queen and even kings bow for Queens.
Any man or boy who does not understand the value of womanhood should be asked how he came into the world.
I STAND AGAINST VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.