you must find peace within first, then you'll know how to use your head and heart to your own advantage

In short, life is one man for himself.. if you lose your limbs today, hardly will you see any of those guys around you again

when you see single people, don't see them as fools.. most have gone through it an have understood welk

samuelson06:
Go and make peace with the past guys then PM me for more counsels, other than that, I have nothing to say. You don't just work out of a relationship because you feel hurt else the abandoned relationship would hunt you.

Cc: broadsway

What kinda mentality is this? Do people still reason this way?

The guy cheated on her and you're saying she shouldn't have walked away.

Nothing would hunt her.

The reason why u feel this way is becos U r still holding on to ur past....
Which affects every new relationship U r into...

Its true that He who has being beaten by a snake,runs when he sees an earthworm....

But u must learn to erase every hurt or pain from the former relationship b4 u attempt to go into anoda....

If U really want to have a healthy and lovely relationship in the future,learn to forget Ur past relationship and all its baggage...

U measure the past with the present but you cant and must not judge the future with the present.

Broadsway:
My name is Broadsway and this is a summary of my relationship life, please do read and give me a tangible advice. Tnx

I started dating In senior sec sch to a guy I loved and who never loved me back but only dated my cos of my popularity and the attention I gave him, breaking up with him I dated another guy just to forget the first guy and also hoping this wud be better but it didn't turn out well, he tried wooing my girlfrnd by insulting me, I confronted him, he apologized but I couldn't stay with him, I just zereod my mind off him even though he showed he was sorry. Some times later like 3yrs after met another guy but it didn't last, this last one was the most terrible but I wud ignore it cos it brings tears to my eyes.

So right now after 5yrs from my second relationship and days of training myself to avoid relationships and just be friends with guys, I find myself with people that love me and wud want to spend their life with me, but I can't reciprocate the love any longer, I feel like I am deceiving them, I like dem, even one has stayed with me through all my pains and lafta and also there is the guy who is the second guy who wooed my friend still asking for a second chance and a lovely guy dah I met recently who i see as an angel and lastly there is a guy who has spread my qualities to all his fam members and frnds and I know he loves me dearly.

My main reason for writing this is to know if its possible to make my heart love again and if it can which one of these four guys shud I stay with?

Tnx

You can love again....you just have to work on yourself. Go for counseling before its too late.

Nothing beats marrying the one you love with good characters. Also remember that those choices won't wait for you forever. The time goes tick tock.....

Broadsway I think you are putting way too much thought and energy into it and by doing so, all u build in your mind is a level of perfection (which ideally does not exist). Give yourself some time. You need to work on yourself first. Build your self esteem, love yourself. Allow love happen when it would happen organically. Every good thing takes time. As for breakups, we have all been there. What matters is how we let it affect us going forward (ps: most Naija guys are not even worth the heartache and tears). So perk up girl, you will be fine

I no this guy please he's still a kid. just ignore him. the mum still baths him, most times he steals from the pot of soup d always prepare

As I am typing this, I have this deep conviction that he just stole money to get data on a stolen phone which his friend gave to him. so please pardon him cos matters like this is MTH ( matters too high ) and he can't handle them cos this boyish and childish tendencies always overwhelmed his ability to comprehend subject of this nature.

I beg of you just let him pass.

Now to the matter on ground. I don't really blame you cos physiologically d experience might be traumatic which has wired your mind in a particular pattern ( negative pattern ). you need to be healed which is a process that doesn't last a day. but you no what I'm happy for you cos you have started the process already by pouring out ur emotions. There is love out there which are tangible and letting go is difficult to do.

you have to see this new relationship differently and see it with a different view. check yourself and see if you are doing anything wrong. if you can honestly answer this you have another phase of your healing process . if you feel there's something right you r not doing change and forgive those that have hurt you. but if you r "spotless" I bet u. the love of your life that gives and radiate joy is not far from you. Let God lead you dearie. love is real. wish u the best.
sorry abt my typos n abbreviation. one love

Stop fantasizing ...There is no perfect relationship anywhere...secret to happiness is to expect less from people, expecting so much hurts

Broadsway:
My name is Broadsway and this is a summary of my relationship life, please do read and give me a tangible advice. Tnx

I started dating In senior sec sch to a guy I loved and who never loved me back but only dated my cos of my popularity and the attention I gave him, breaking up with him I dated another guy just to forget the first guy and also hoping this wud be better but it didn't turn out well, he tried wooing my girlfrnd by insulting me, I confronted him, he apologized but I couldn't stay with him, I just zereod my mind off him even though he showed he was sorry. Some times later like 3yrs after met another guy but it didn't last, this last one was the most terrible but I wud ignore it cos it brings tears to my eyes.

So right now after 5yrs from my second relationship and days of training myself to avoid relationships and just be friends with guys, I find myself with people that love me and wud want to spend their life with me, but I can't reciprocate the love any longer, I feel like I am deceiving them, I like dem, even one has stayed with me through all my pains and lafta and also there is the guy who is the second guy who wooed my friend still asking for a second chance and a lovely guy dah I met recently who i see as an angel and lastly there is a guy who has spread my qualities to all his fam members and frnds and I know he loves me dearly.

My main reason for writing this is to know if its possible to make my heart love again and if it can which one of these four guys shud I stay with?

Tnx

Hmm, you story is quite touching but like every problem there's solution. I have gone tru posts and I will give you the best advice I can ( I normally don't do this here). You are still in love with your first and since you don't want him anymore please try and FORGET about him (Very important), your view about relationship is dreamy and non-realistic. I have never seen a perfect, rosy marriage, talking less of a BF-GF relationship. Life is far from the India, Korean love movies you watch and reality is very unfair. Only by understanding and chemistry will you survive in anything you do including relationships, so please stop FANTASIZING as there's no perfect man. Draw a list of things you like in a man to bring into your "rightful" relationship but without the fantasies please, then compare it with the guys (friends) that woo you and your exes to see if they have it in abundance. If you feel it's too much now, take a break by reading books, going out with friends, work and anything that keep you occupied.

Ps: You story seems very familiar and I honestly feel like I know you. My ex started exactly like you with the first 2 guys. I hope you didn't attend Greenwich University? Well...
Code name: Lazy Cute?

My sister, the only solution is prayers. Ask God for guidiance. Find out who has the fear of God among them. Find out who among them can stay with you without demanding for sex until after wedding. And you should be ready to zip up too. Fornication remains abormination in the sight of God even when the world tries to justify it. Marriage is honourable with bed undefied. Like i said earlier, go to God in prayers. He will show you the right way. Shalom!

Broadsway:
mmmmm tnx, if u know how I feel ryt now, u wudnt say such I tell u

I no this guy please he's still a kid. just ignore him. the mum still baths him and most times he steals from the pot of soup the sister always prepare.

As I am typing this, I have this deep conviction that he just stole money to get data on a stolen phone his friend gave to him. so please pardon him cos matters like this is MTH ( matters too high ) and he can't handle them cos this boyish and childish tendencies always overwhelmed his ability to comprehend subject of this nature.

I beg of you, just let him pass.

Now to the matter on ground. I don't really blame you cos physiologically d experience might be traumatic which has wired your mind in a particular pattern ( negative pattern ). you need to be healed which is a process that doesn't last a day. but you no what, I'm happy for you cos you have started the process already by pouring out your emotions. There is love out there which are tangible and letting go is difficult to do.

you have to see this new relationship differently. check yourself and see if you are doing anything wrong. if you can honestly answer this you have entered another phase of your healing process . if you feel there's something right you r not doing, change and forgive those that have hurt you. but if you r "spotless" dearie I bet u. the love of your life that gives and radiate joy is not far from you. Let God lead you dearie. love is real. wish u the best.
sorry abt my typos n abbreviations. one love

Young lady, my observation with you z that u fall for mostly players (Bleep boys) like most of us young people below 30, we don't bloody care about ur feelings, we feign love to get sex with no emotion attached while u girls create an emotional attachment that makes you vulnerable and prone to heart shatter ...sorry break when u get ditched.
if u re ready to get married, use ur brain n come up with what you really want, itz either u re going for looks or riches or caring/loving or religious/born~again or intelligent or fame or whatever, u know urself better than any one else, be bold to make ur choice but remember u got to compromise as there z no ideal partner in real life, it only exist in movies n fantasies.

You need a love doctor!

desquad:
you can ask me again ,,, come lemme finish your heart completely


TEAM FŪCK BOYS!!!

wicked!!!

the purpose of a relationship is marriage

hence if you are not ready for marriage why go into it.......you dont need the donkey years dating ..the fact it works for others doesn't mean it'll work for you


so my advice is
go and figure out who you are first (goals , temperament etc) before trying to assist someone else figure out who the both of u re

u cant treat aids without knowing what hiv is

the moment you do that you'll know when you have found the right person

My Dr,i should hv encourage u 2stay off anytn concerned friendship stuff,try achieve somethg meaningful to urcef and ask God 2gv u ur own lovn man dat wl last 4eternity. If i tell u my own last 3mthz marriage devastated,my Dr u wl cry 4m, but i thank Godalmighty 4saving mylyf. My Dr if u wano settle down ask God 2gv u ur rite man i repeat.

Finding a person who loves you and you feel same way about,is one of life's hardest tasks. Truth is,you may have to kiss several frogs to meet that special one. It's nver easy,coping with hurt from people you gav your all to but that being said,there's the possibly of one beautiful soul out there,waiting to happen to you. Try not to allow your experiences inhibit you. To be on a safer side,pay attention to responsible deceent matured guys cos most guys your age,probably just want a taste of the cherry between your legs.

Broadsway:
My name is Broadsway and this is a summary of my relationship life, please do read and give me a tangible advice. Tnx

I started dating In senior sec sch to a guy I loved and who never loved me back but only dated my cos of my popularity and the attention I gave him, breaking up with him I dated another guy just to forget the first guy and also hoping this wud be better but it didn't turn out well, he tried wooing my girlfrnd by insulting me, I confronted him, he apologized but I couldn't stay with him, I just zereod my mind off him even though he showed he was sorry. Some times later like 3yrs after met another guy but it didn't last, this last one was the most terrible but I wud ignore it cos it brings tears to my eyes.

So right now after 5yrs from my second relationship and days of training myself to avoid relationships and just be friends with guys, I find myself with people that love me and wud want to spend their life with me, but I can't reciprocate the love any longer, I feel like I am deceiving them, I like dem, even one has stayed with me through all my pains and lafta and also there is the guy who is the second guy who wooed my friend still asking for a second chance and a lovely guy dah I met recently who i see as an angel and lastly there is a guy who has spread my qualities to all his fam members and frnds and I know he loves me dearly.

My main reason for writing this is to know if its possible to make my heart love again and if it can which one of these four guys shud I stay with?

Tnx

Broadsway:
My name is Broadsway and this is a summary of my relationship life, please do read and give me a tangible advice. Tnx
Tnx

At the moment you feel considering any of these four is the option u have,there are still people out there u will meet who can b better off than them, set ur mind on other things, be focused , be an achiever, the right man that will b the best for you will find u, and if it's still any of these four so be it, but most importantly set standards, have qualities u desire in your future husband, stand for something so you will not fall for everything, things will fall in place as time goes by, b approachable, do not be too rigid, if the wrong ones approach be polite enough to discharge them there are still very nice guys out there....just be yourself, people will love you for who you are than pretending to be something else and ur real character unfolding with time .
All d best

Take it to God in prayer

Broadsway:
My name is Broadsway and this is a summary of my relationship life, please do read and give me a tangible advice. Tnx

I started dating In senior sec sch to a guy I loved and who never loved me back but only dated my cos of my popularity and the attention I gave him, breaking up with him I dated another guy just to forget the first guy and also hoping this wud be better but it didn't turn out well, he tried wooing my girlfrnd by insulting me, I confronted him, he apologized but I couldn't stay with him, I just zereod my mind off him even though he showed he was sorry. Some times later like 3yrs after met another guy but it didn't last, this last one was the most terrible but I wud ignore it cos it brings tears to my eyes.

So right now after 5yrs from my second relationship and days of training myself to avoid relationships and just be friends with guys, I find myself with people that love me and wud want to spend their life with me, but I can't reciprocate the love any longer, I feel like I am deceiving them, I like dem, even one has stayed with me through all my pains and lafta and also there is the guy who is the second guy who wooed my friend still asking for a second chance and a lovely guy dah I met recently who i see as an angel and lastly there is a guy who has spread my qualities to all his fam members and frnds and I know he loves me dearly.

My main reason for writing this is to know if its possible to make my heart love again and if it can which one of these four guys shud I stay with?

Tnx

You need to let the past stay in the past. Of a truth, no one can select for you: You know them and you have your fantasies. So, take your time to study these new guys and see which ones genuinely love you.Which of them meet your criteria. Which of them can you tolerate? From among these, see who your heart throbs for. That's your guy. Best.

Broadsway:
My name is Broadsway and this is a summary of my relationship life, please do read and give me a tangible advice. Tnx

I started dating In senior sec sch to a guy I loved and who never loved me back but only dated my cos of my popularity and the attention I gave him, breaking up with him I dated another guy just to forget the first guy and also hoping this wud be better but it didn't turn out well, he tried wooing my girlfrnd by insulting me, I confronted him, he apologized but I couldn't stay with him, I just zereod my mind off him even though he showed he was sorry. Some times later like 3yrs after met another guy but it didn't last, this last one was the most terrible but I wud ignore it cos it brings tears to my eyes.

So right now after 5yrs from my second relationship and days of training myself to avoid relationships and just be friends with guys, I find myself with people that love me and wud want to spend their life with me, but I can't reciprocate the love any longer, I feel like I am deceiving them, I like dem, even one has stayed with me through all my pains and lafta and also there is the guy who is the second guy who wooed my friend still asking for a second chance and a lovely guy dah I met recently who i see as an angel and lastly there is a guy who has spread my qualities to all his fam members and frnds and I know he loves me dearly.

My main reason for writing this is to know if its possible to make my heart love again and if it can which one of these four guys shud I stay with?

Tnx

So you mean for a whole 5years no guy PIPED your borehole?

Broadsway:
My name is Broadsway and this is a summary of my relationship life, please do read and give me a tangible advice. Tnx

I started dating In senior sec sch to a guy I loved and who never loved me back but only dated my cos of my popularity and the attention I gave him, breaking up with him I dated another guy just to forget the first guy and also hoping this wud be better but it didn't turn out well, he tried wooing my girlfrnd by insulting me, I confronted him, he apologized but I couldn't stay with him, I just zereod my mind off him even though he showed he was sorry. Some times later like 3yrs after met another guy but it didn't last, this last one was the most terrible but I wud ignore it cos it brings tears to my eyes.

So right now after 5yrs from my second relationship and days of training myself to avoid relationships and just be friends with guys, I find myself with people that love me and wud want to spend their life with me, but I can't reciprocate the love any longer, I feel like I am deceiving them, I like dem, even one has stayed with me through all my pains and lafta and also there is the guy who is the second guy who wooed my friend still asking for a second chance and a lovely guy dah I met recently who i see as an angel and lastly there is a guy who has spread my qualities to all his fam members and frnds and I know he loves me dearly.

My main reason for writing this is to know if its possible to make my heart love again and if it can which one of these four guys shud I stay with?

Tnx

Your post is a bit confusing. You didn't separate the guys in your narrative clearly.

Anyway, this is my advice: There were genuine reasons why your past relationships didn't work out. When a relationship doesn't work the way it should, then move on with your life. Unless you want to relive your bad choices and heartbreaks once again by going back to your ex, which no sane person would do.

You should date one of the new guys you've met. Nobody here knows the best guy for you because you're the one who've met them. You're an adult and should know which of them has the qualities you like. If you're used to bad boys, make a change of choice.

And most importantly, if you want someone in your life, you must be ready to give him a chance in your heart. If you build a wall to keep men away, you're doing yourself a disservice. Don't have sex with the person you will choose until you're sure he's the right guy for you. A man who really likes you will patiently wait and won't bother you for sex until you're ready. Date the person long (3 months or more) before sex.

Anyone who hasn't experienced a heartbreak hasn't been in love. Having a bad experience is a part of life. The bad relationship doesn't matter much. What matters a lot is what you do after it's over. That you have not been lucky with relationships doesn't mean you have to give up. Try dating a man different from what you're used to, and see if things will fine. Some women are always attracted to the wrong men and they don't know it.

I want you to know that there many good men out there who're equally looking good women. Good luck.

and all d while d Holy Spirit is speaking 2ur spirit but ur mind can't here amidst all ur emotional clutter and noise. what's with d rush? having a bf isn't d promised land and if u think ur ain't whole 4wateva reason and so u can't love, then it means u don't know God for God is love! maybe u go2 church a lot but I think you need a personal revelation with the Love of Christ..Romans 5:5. u should reset ur priorities

Even if ur heart is ice,it will melt when u meet the right person

To me I feel like there's only one rule..... Which Is nothing ventured, nothing gained. U can't continue living in the world u are now, cos it is a world u created in ur head out of fear, it's not real but it's destroying ur ability to love and trust...and again there's nothing like a beautiful relationship, trust me it doesn't exist anywhere. There are trials and temptations in relationships, there are quarels too, the ability for both parties to overcome and move on is what makes the relationship beautiful. If u are scared of all these then how can u ever have a meaningful relationship? The solution is to first get rid of ur relationship phobia then u can begin to talk about choosing from the 4 guys.

I'm facing a similar challenge...
I'm scared of rejection, I hate NO as an answer. But anytime I get it, I simply move on and say ''there's someone better awaiting me''
At times I feel like, ''let a girl just ask me out, at least I wouldn't be rejected then''.
My last relationship was also five ago!

In your case, keep on being friends with them. Dont rush yourself, and as time goes on, the better choice would be more clearer.

Remain casual friends with them. If a serious guy comes into your life with a serious package(marriage), you will know. He will do all he can to prove to you that he wants to settle down. Leave them f^^k boys for now. Keep your break and defence intact. Marriage should be your goal now. You don't want to get older falling in and out of shady relationships. Get closer to the working class and busy ones coming your way. A serious minded man aint hard to detect

My dear under normal circumstances, it is not proper to get into another relationship shortly after leaving a previous one (especially when you truly luved the previous guy).. nd the experience we have in our 1st, 2nd nd 3rd relationships (in this era of "all guys are the same"), creates our ideology abt relationships in general (except subsequent "miracle" relationships happens.. which is very rare).. however, despite all the damages done, I do not think the right guy is amongst the above listed guys.. I think you just haven't met him yet.. cox when you do, you'll know.. u'll feel it fit like a shoe that is perfectly ur size..
Lastly.. I think you re not letting the past go yet.. so I advice you let it go, nd just free yourself.. #LoveComesWhenNdWhereWeLeastExpect...

#5iver...

This osun girl. So u finally presented this issue on nairaland? BTW. Go for the last dude.

OP, How old are u now? If you are above 25years and you are still finding it difficult to forget the past and identify a man that is good for you amongst your many suitors, you really need to sit down with a counsellor.
If a woman refuse to date an angel, she's definitely meant for the devil

Broadsway:
I don't think so, cos I really do want a beautiful relationship...
Most times I fantasize about it...
I really do need help cos I don't think I want to go through a hrt break again, I'm really scared.
I didn't want to bring this here but I had to, even as I type I'm in tears wondering y my relationship life is upside down and if I wud ever have a lovely relationship

Have you seen a psychologist and therapist?

firstking01:
I hardly make comments on a thread i didn't read but from my perception and observation it seems to me like you are still very young and perhaps naive in this thing called relationship...my candid advice, wait till you are of age with a mature mind.

Dis na broadsway story

firstking01:
I hardly make comments on a thread i didn't read but from my perception and observation it seems to me like you are still very young and perhaps naive in this thing called relationship...my candid advice, wait till you are of age with a mature mind.

Dis na broadsway story

firstking01:
I hardly make comments on a thread i didn't read but from my perception and observation it seems to me like you are still very young and perhaps naive in this thing called relationship...my candid advice, wait till you are of age with a mature mind.

Dis na broadsway story

Broadsway:
please help me out. Cos I diverted it to my education, friends and leadership roles but even so I still come back to this same spot

The best way for u is to enter a relationship without expecting anything to come out of it. Drift along naturally and don't set yourself for any expectations so that they will not be cut short and would take you back to square one!