It all depends on what you want from the relationship. If it's for sexual satisfaction, I expect you to know it can't work. If it's for migration purpose, you might try to manage it to the point of marriage, but you shouldn't expect that type of marriage to work. Because the benefactor which in most cases resides back home e.g Nigeria, has never been sincere in the relationship, even if the one abroad is sincere about it. Often time, it is the selfish partner that gets frustrated first, if his motive for being in the relationship is not achieved on time. Meanwhile, the sincere one still tries to sustain it, even if its not easy. That is why only very few work.

However, if you go into the relation because you really love each other, you believe you are the best match for each other and because of your willingness to grow old together, IT CAN WORK! It depends on if you want it to work. To make it work, love alone is not enough. In the human way, it requires 50% trust, 25% determination and love is just 25%. Often times, you might choose to trust, even if it seems foolish to do so. That is my own theory, and not a generally acceptable one. I only give that, to let you know that love alone cannot make it work. Yet, it can work if you want it to work. Then in the divine way, it requires 100% prayers. The combination of my theory with the divine can also make it work.

What makes relationship to work are the people involved and not the distance. Majority of those giving comments here have been in short distance relationship before. Are they trying to tell me that the guy or lady the dated next door, next street, next state, same office, same school or same church led them into marriage? Are they telling me that all the short distance they had make them happy? If you, why did they break up? Being close doesn't guaranty marriage or happiness, just like the long distance doesn't make it any better. Yet, the long distance can still work.

I do not know if its a coincidence or our family desires. But I can tell you that most of my relatives abroad didn't get married right there. None of them also went their with their families. Most went there as singles, came back home and got married. Most of them court for nothing less than two years. My younger sister left her bf while they are both in 200 level in UNAD. She still came back and married that guy after the guy graduated and served (3 years later). They are both doing fine in U.K

My gf is in the USA. I laughed when some people said they have been in long distance relationship for 15 months. This is our 30th month. Really dont like dating for too long. But we started when none of us is set for marriage. Since its now heading towards that direction, we choose to move on. That is why its about 30 months now. I am still in Nigeria because I am determined to complete my Post graduate degrees before relocating. We move this far, because we are determined to make it work. Though we argue sometimes and its not funny those times. In fact, there was a time she and I were having an argument and I had to ask questions in Nairaland. But the more we are able to settle our differences without third party intervention, the closer we become.

My candid advice is this. If you and someone are in love, the threat you have is TIME and not the DISTANCE. Try to determine how soon you can be together. If you think it would take too long, you may not go into the relationship because you might be frustrated along the way. Generally, if you are the busy type, the time may pass unnoticed. You just have to consider the time. Therefor, to me the threat is the time and not the distance. Till the time you can be together, be set to incure heavy bills on phone calls, air tickets, and other things to keep you connected.

@ Poster, that is my humble opinion. Long distance, short distance, there is no guarantee that any would lead to marriage. There is no guarantee that you would enjoy any of the two. But if you are sincere with each other, you love and trust each other and determined to make it work, any of the two can work! Also if its the will of God, distance is nothing because as big as the world is, we the children of God are all in the palm of his hands. We can always connect together in his hands.

Good luck.

If you spend your phone calls to talk about interests instead of accusations, I think it may do you a lot of good. Long distance, short distance, a man who will cheat will even when you live under the same roof. A man who is not inclined to cheating will try his best not to even in a long distance relationship.

The trying is a mark of respect for you.

If he falls not deliberately, do not ask him to tell you. It is better you do not know. Just trust him while the separation lasts. Such a person will never cheat on you when you live together. When you tell such a man you trust him, it makes try harder not to betray your trust but if after all he endures you keep on accusing him that he cheats, he may as well cheat to be the cheat you are calling him. After all there is no point resisting when you will not appreciate it.

But for the perenial he-goat, you are in for hypertension.

Best thing to do, believe he is not cheating. How will you feel if someone accuses you of cheating when you don't?

i am doing the lagos -abuja route

it aint easy. we see once a month. we plan to get her a job in lagos so we can be together til we get married. cos

the distance aint healthy no more.

It depends on what stage the relationship is at. If you are already married with kids then its fine but the temptations will be there, except you have a trusted lover to make up insanity will set in but if you are not yet married and you are promising eachother, forget it, believe me its not worth the trouble, there so many guys and babes around why should you wait for one person whom you cannot say with 100% confidence is coming back to you without a story to tell. So for me no way for long distance realtionship its a charade, like a kids play. Get real hold your man /woman there with you until they have performed all necessary functions at home before you release them into the world shikena

I'm experiencing same! We're both servin(NYSC),she in enugu, i in ondo. We both luv each oda we jst try 2 make tins wrk.

it can work if you two make it work
have been there(still there partially tho)and it is hard
if i can get out of this one it is bye bye to distance relationship for me for good

it depends on individuals ,but it is very difficult for it to work out, for long distance relationships to work out , the man and woman must be ready to close their ears to each other's faults, because i don't think it is possible to be in a long distance relationship for more than 2 years and stay faithful to each . that is my view

all depends on what you guys want from the relationship, how serious the relationship is and how committed both of you are to making it work.

i got married this year to a lady i have dated for more than 5 years (and I have spent more than 4 years out of nigeria), she joins me here in january anyway. the story has not been as easy as i painted it, tots of breakin up the relationship used to flash through my mind daily sometimes, so, the lesson of the story is that - it all depends on you guys

.

Hmm, thank GOd for this topic o? Well, i,v dated a girl for a year now and i am about to live her to travel to Ghana for about 2yrs, even though i,ll be coming back in festive seasons, but i dont know if it will work? because the girl i am dating was another guys girlfriend before he traveled, even though she was cheating on him and fell inlove with me in naija before he traveled, he found out where he is and threatens to kill the girl and I when she told him she was inlove with someone else, well the story long sha, but now i dey travel, what will happen to her?

Well in the long distance thing i thing you should be ready to permit someone to sleep with your spouse because you both have needs , as long as you have each others heart, what happens to the body in your absence does not really matter.

Abi, you people who have been in long distance relationship, u won tell me say since them travel say no body has been to there

Well in the long distance thing i thing you should be ready to permit someone to sleep with your spouse because you both have needs , as long as you have each others heart, what happens to the body in your absence does not really matter.

Meka Boy, i am not sure abt this ur comment o. I will not not permit my man to slp with anyone, neither will i slp with anyone else. I am not saying u do not have needs, but self control is not impossible. If a person can cheat in a relationship, then he or she will definitely cheat in a marriage.

we act as if we are animals that cannot control sexual urges. Please dont settle. Let ur man be faithful to u o. A man can have weaknesses, but cheating is not a weakness that should be excused

Long distance relationships do work. It all depends on the level of understandin between the individuals in the relationship.I've been dating a girl for almost 3 years and we are still good to go. I can count the number of times we've seen each other these 3 years. Phone calls and text messages have really helped but as I said earlier, it depends on the individuals. It won't work for everybody.

@nues aweso
lol,
dis thread is healn my wound.
@all
thank u all 4 ur comment,

It is really a hard one,i think both parties should do something about the distance cos HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM,its crazy hard to bear.

Talking abt long distance relationship, i used to be in one b4, but tank God we re together nw. Though people with different opinions base on wht they hear and what they ve experienced. I never got to know him very well b4 i travelled out the country then, but we didnt let anything come in btw us nt even the distance cos we talked more than 5 times every day. Moreso, u cant get to know someone better while u re dating nt until u re married leaving together thats when u get to discover more abt each other.
Long distance relationship works, because it works for me and am hoping it works for u as well.

well it depends on the situation

Why not?, if both parties are sincere, and honest, then its possible, have seen and heard several success stories,

I was in one for FOUR years. We're getting married and I'm glad we went though those years apart. It taught us the importance of communication, and mostimportantly, how to communicate and build trust. We now live in the same city and it feels great after all

@ 190

never works

tried one from lagos and she was in abuja
and IT CRASHED

cos she was gettin screwed big tyme~

It never works~

@190, pls desist from using the word 'never'. Nothing is impossible.That your relationship fail to materialised doesnt mean every long distance relationship cannot work.Vicki09, axeman85, N101, Ovie etc have given you their good advice and experiences. With prayer, trust, dedication, patience,communication(at all time),love and sincerety, it will work. I have many testimonies. However, it demand 100% TRUST

i know of a couple who courted for 8 years, and they were in different countries throughout, (Canada, UK) and they finally got married like 3 years ago, i think if you are dedicated and full of trust like the others have said it will work out, The couple i spoke of seemed to be very much in love when they finally came together and they are still happily married today, so it is possible

Thanks to all the people who replied to this thrend, but its really not easy with distance relationship however like someone said its not the distance that make it work or not also it take more than love but trust got to keep the fire burning again

with maturity, trust and love, it will work, jus like mine,

Well, it works. I have been in it for two years since I travel alot, not untill I found out whats been happening yesterday. A guy called her at night and she pretended she didn't know him. I found this guy in the hse on arrival without notice. He drives my cars and sleeps in my room. Verdict? She's been screwing!!!

@nues aweso
lol,
dis thread is healn my wound.
@all
thank u all 4 ur comment,

I know long distance relationships work,they don't just work for me & I'm honest enough to know it's probably my fault.Don't get me wrong,I don't go about cheating.Its just that the distance can't be bridged by phone calls & gradually,we start to grow apart.It's happened to me no less than 3 times.

unless u both r matured n cn apply widom 2 cope wiv d emotional strain, it gonna end up in heartache!
well, dats it in thoery, in practice, Na God o!

@nues aweso
lol,
dis thread is healn my wound.
@all
thank u all 4 ur comment,

Long distance relationships work, but a lot of self-control is involved here.

soreola:

i know of a couple who courted for 8 years, and they were in different countries throughout, (Canada, UK) and they finally got married like 3 years ago, i think if you are dedicated and full of trust like the others have said it will work out, The couple i spoke of seemed to be very much in love when they finally came together and they are still happily married today, so it is possible

May be the lady is not beautiful.