londoner:

I get what you mean, he is at a very fragile time, and I do suggest things just in conversation only because two heads are better than one. I care about him and I dont want to just stand by saying nothing, when I can see something else coming from it which will further hurt him.

A friend will not do that to another friend, how much more a partner?

As I said he tends sometimes to ignore reality, meanwhile he still ends up bearing the consequences.

ence the reason I touched on their ego, when you try to help and offer them a solution, they would go into a strop and tell you to stop nagging them, that you are not their mum, fast forward to two days later, they would come in brimming with happiness and tell you they have come up with some brilliant and wonderful news to share with you, guess what the news is - exactly what you told them to do two days ago


Men are not made to be understood, I tell ya

@topic,
Body no be firewood. So i say NO it can't.

@poster

as i said earlier, you need to extremely mega patient for now, i dont know how long you are going to be in uk for so cant say much.

as for me as i said. i am also in a ldr for more than 15months now and i have been to naija 3times this year july was the 3rd time. so i am looking forward to going again in january, infact my bags are packed. as i am moving back finally by july next year. so as they say body no be firewood, but i can proudly say i have been able to control myself. and havent looked at any other lady apart from my woman.

also hope i mentioned that my BT bill comes every quarterly and the lowest i have ever paid is £80 minus almost £40-£50 monthly on lebara topup.

londoner:

Thank you guys soooo much, some of the responses have given me so much more clarity. I do see now that I have to be especially careful and maybe (even though it feels unfair) now is the time for me to carry more than my fair share of the burden. I guess "for better or for worse" is not just for married couples huh?

Its a bit difficult to make definate plans because he is more of a dreamer than I, I am more practical and prefer planning, he is more of a romanticist.

I dont know how to get the message across to him about having a timeline and different alternatives so we can eventually come together.He tends to think i have no faith in his ability when I suggest different approaches.

To the men in the house, what do you suggest I say?

hmmm cant really tell u that one,

i have a question 4 you? how did u meet this guy

and i take it that u r the one with the british passport,

When a nigerian meets another nigerian abroad and they want to fall
in love, the two obvious question must be settled!!!!

1 - is anyone of us illegal in this foriegn country

2 - which one has the foriegn passport/permanent residence

if the answer to question 1 is "none"
and the answer to question 2 is "both"

then both the girl and guy can proceed on a level playing field

if the answe is not "none" and "both" to question 1 & 2 then
buckle your seat belt and be ready for all kind of lies, deception and bullsh**t!!!!

well to itz pure foolishness to try dat how can one date someone u'vent met.well with some social networkz one can see there picz but it isnt enough.one how can u know d person character etc.so i don't advocate for dat

@martinosi, I met him in our neighbourhood as we lived in the same area. He was on a student visa and had one year to work which he was doing when I met him. His visa ran out and he had to return to Ghana, he didn't tell me his situation until he was nearing the time to leave and he said he did not want me to think he was with me in order to stay in the UK, so he would prefer to return home an maybe I move to Ghana. After visiting Ghana, as nice as it was I just cant live there. We went to Nigeria also, he liked it, but he said he wouldn't live there either.

So we decided its either UK, or anywhere else we are both happy to live.

He left four months into our relationship, and I have seen him once because neither of us are flush with money. i strongly believe we should build our relationship first before we make plans to live together in one country. Things havent worked out for him in Ghana, and I dont want that to constitute part of the reason he is willing to come to the Uk, rather than actually coming 100% to be with me and further our relationship.


There is no part of me that believs he has an ulterior motive for being with me,but I dont know how much his current situation is unconsciously at play.

If both of you truthfully love each other without any cheating, then distance is just a piece of cake because whether near or far love exists in the heart.
However, getting in touch once a while will make the relationship stronger. Just be strong and patience if my above write-ups are true in your relationship .

yh it really does. im in d uk n my boo is in 9ja,
4 bout, uhm a lil over 2yrs.
smetyms it gts really tough
bt wen yhu noe wt yhu wnt den
i guess tis worth d effort, Bleep

well, it works for peeps that can handle it.
i'v bin in one now for over a year, and so far so gud

Yes it does for dome people, and for others, it doesn't work out

well as for me it doesnt work out, it full of unnecessary obesity in the begining and end with insecurity as time goes on, i have try it twice now, and it like ladies are on the losing side.

sure it can work, communication matters and trust has to be there.

Click on the link below
http://www.splendour.ewebsite.com/page/how-to-get-free-endless-traffic-to-your-site-and-look-forward

It really depend on who you ask. My personal experience is that its not good at all. I lost my girl of 8 years cos of long distance. She told me I wasnt there when she needed me the most. I tried again on this girl that I think I knew. I was so wrong cos this gurl only want American visa thru me. I felt betrayed, and worst of all, she's always been telling me that one pastor told her that I was her husband to make my head swell. Until one day she called me by mistake and I heard her talking to someone that sound like an Alfa and she was mentioning my name. WOW I said. She noticed the phone was on and said she did not mean to call me. Since that time, I postponed our engagement indefinitely and never told her what I heard cos I dont want her to harm me. I will rather get with akata to avoid eating medicine from a 9ja woman.

Thank God for your life brother

BoosGal:

I'm in the same situation, my guy is in US (from Nigeria)  and I'm in the UK,  seeing him soon enough but we argue a lot. It all depends on you and him. The worst thing you can do is be insecure, you need trust otherwise your never gona get through it. I mean i never saw myself in a long distance relationship but cuz i love my boo so much im gona do it, and when we are together I'm gona look back at this and realise all the pain/arguing/tears was worth it.

he is soo cheating on your dumba.ss.

@poster
i was going to say that long distance relationships do work but i think it all depends on the people involved. it certainly worked for me. My husband and i started dating in 1995. he travelled to the US in 1998 and we maintained a very long distance relationship for a very long time. Early this year, 2010, we got married in the US. our relationship has lasted a span of 15 years, and we're still going strong.
You both need to know what you really want out of it before you go ahead with it. i tell you it wasnt easy but u're patien and focused, u just might make it.

i have been in one for a long time but is so hard and the guy does not undstand that is not easy as it may look like, but we breakup he thinks am cheating on him. we breakup few weeks ago now i have to work and get a better place so that when you come over he does not have to live on the street.

MsCee:

@poster
i was going to say that long distance relationships do work but i think it all depends on the people involved. it certainly worked for me. My husband and i started dating in 1995. he travelled to the US in 1998 and we maintained a very long distance relationship for a very long time. Early this year, 2010, we got married in the US. our relationship has lasted a span of 15 years, and we're still going strong.
You both need to know what you really want out of it before you go ahead with it. i tell you it wasnt easy but u're patien and focused, u just might make it.

Your case is different. It is common knowledge that guys in UK/US/etc dabble in a lot of f/u/c/k and run abroad, and are scared they are no match for the girls here whose eyes have opened, so they go back home to marry becauseof the wrong notion that the girls in naija are not exposed and would worship them like a lap dog and are less wayward than their counterparts in UK/US/etc They also believe that if they help their women come abroad, these women would appreciate their gesture and lick their feet for the rest of her life


As a naija girl in the western World, all you need to do is date 2/3 guys to set tongues wagging that the babe is an ashewo, blah, blah, blah and then she becomes untouchable and unmarriageable

YES it can work if both parties are in the relationship for one reason only that's LUV & equally wants to spend the rest of you lives together and not for Material things I.E ( Land of Opportunities, Money etc.) Life is simple, it's just not easy. you are in the relationship, It is your call, let the mistake be yours & not peoples on websites. If the mistake is yours, you can forgive yourself but if it is that of social forum, I leave that to your judgement.

Gademit Jaybee. 

MzDarkSkin:

he is soo cheating on your dumba.ss.

damn.

gosh! it sucks like shit.

In a 3 month long distance relationship myself and we kinda cleared things up. he's in the US currently. We didn't put any restrictions on the relationship buh we communicate well enof cos i find dah trying to talk too much culd cause lots of issues. Am just praying dat evrytin works well. I guess everytin depends on ones determination

Its very possible for long distance relationships to succeed, all you need is patience, lots of communication and off course, prayers,

read this http://ddatingzone..com/2012/01/how-to-make-long-distance-relationships.html

best of luck.

Doesn't work, just accept the fact that you bf/gf is fucking someone else. If you can get used to that idea then it can work.

Otherwise you're just fooling yourself. Men and women are the same when it comes to SEX, both want and need it. It's just something you have to get used to. Even if you break it off with them just know that the next person you meet could have done the same thing and if put in the right circumstance will do the same thing.