People should begin to face the reality of today.

Women who choose to adopt their father's name rather than their husband's name after marriage are not really ready for a true marriage for life.

The modern day ideas has some advantages and disadvantages. Let us adopt the good ideas of our past too because they could be the best.

The reason why a wife should answer her father's name after marriage centres on selfishness, except her husband fully agrees.

Hyphenation of surnames after marriage is a western concept, not African and definitely not Nigerian. Let us be careful what we import into Nigeria. It is not all western concept and idealogy that are good, some are terrible, selfish, self-centred and self-serving.

@ bebrief,

We have the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel; US Secretary of State (past and present): Condoleezza Rice and Hilary Clinton, to mention a few. They are still who they are bearing their husbands name, I'm sick of all this!!! Someone please help!

You forgot that for a long time, Hilary Clinton was known as Hilary Rodham-Clinton.

@Phuck_Nl
If you like your fathers name so much, please stay in your fathers house.

What of the post she has held with her father's name, do you think that it is easy for a wealthy Nigerian lady to forget her father's name just-like-that.

Iyabo Obasanjo-Bello, wouldn't have had much fame, if not for her father's name.

Re: Why do Nigerian Women Bear Their Father's Name?
« #5 on: Yesterday at 11:34:10 AM »

Quote from: T-charged on Yesterday at 11:12:10 AM
I am happy you state its 'a sign of submission'. Real submission has nothing to do with names. People have moved on since the time of Adam and Eve, please let the ladies be.

I can assure you, those that have MOVED ON don't do that!!! By the way, where have we (Nigeria) moved to Huh Huh Huh
i agree with u

But the case in Nigeria these days is the fact that Girls now hyphenate their surname with their spouse's name.
Not so sure why that is though.

then again . . .whatever rocks your boat. African men make it such a big deal though. Its just a name afterall.

To be sincere, i think most Nigerian women bare their husbands name. Its usually the celebrity women who still bares their fathers' name. Its usually becos its quite difficult to transition from their father's name to their husband's after they've become celebrated, apart from that, i think women should bear their husbands name.

Busta:

as far as know, if the two are married . . . the kids usually takes the father's name.
On rare occasion though u see them take and hyphenate both dad and mum's name like Zahara Jolie-Pitt.

Good reply from you and your example highlights a situation where the husband and the wife has come to an agreement about this name issue.  At the moment it is the father that divides the names of the kid but that cannot be said of  the near future.

I asked that question about the kid names so women should think thoughtful the reason why they want to keep their father's name. Do you want to show that you are an independent woman or you want to keep your fathers name going hence my suggestion in my first post.

If your reasons are very genuine why not just talk it out with your hubby i believe he will see reasons. I am speaking as a man who is going to do the same thing with my wife about the children's name.

My mother is the only surviving child of her father, i mean only both grand and great. We are all answering my fathers name which she does as well. I want some of my kids to answer her fathers name and i won't be imposing that on my wife. I have to talk it out with my wife the reasons for doing that because they are also her kids.

So the bottom line to me is come with a genuine reason and talk it out with your partner about this name issue.

Why must Nigerians copy everything in the western world?

well dont know yet but if i would be contesting(politics thats in future), i would definately add my dad's name for my people to know that am truely the daughter of the soil.

for instance when Abike Erogbogbo Dabiri contested she used her father's name she is now Kerewa

i just feel it is something that makes a woman feel she still have a family somewhere even if the man bleeps up, she can easily delete the last one

MrCrackles:

What foolish fame does she have
Oh i geddit. . .Famed for looking like a disease ravaged babboon!

You are probably uglier than her. Post your pic if i am wrong. Shame on you for insulting God's creation based on physical traits.

phuck_NL:

You are probably uglier than her. Post your pic if i am wrong. Shame on you for insulting God's creation based on physical traits.

The wife should bear her husband's name, thats how its supposed to be. What's with fame anyways? Its a shame to the husband if the wife decide to bear her fathers name, just bkos of fame n fortune, i will skin my wife alife if she ever imagine such thin, let alone doin it. As my wife, if you are not confotabl bearing my own name, then go back to your father's n marry him, since you so much depend on his name to bekom a famous criminal like Iyabo Obasanjo

@poster

Is not True

SeXyBoNE:

The wife should bear her husband's name, thats how its supposed to be. What's with fame anyways? Its a shame to the husband if the wife decide to bear her fathers name, just bkos of fame n fortune, i will skin my wife alife if she ever imagine such thin, let alone doin it. As my wife, if you are not confotabl bearing my own name, then go back to your father's n marry him, since you so much depend on his name to bekom a famous criminal like Iyabo Obasanjo

get a life, you are not the only man on earth

its so funny how [b]some [/b]men in naija make themselves look so important

why not? i dont want a bad name attached to my family, women in my household are saints, and we all kno some women are hoes, no hoe in my household or lineage, lol

and besides the children usually take the father's last name.
the woman really has no point of taking the man's last name if you think about it.
the children will go on and continue the "family line"
so whats the fuss?

And how is it your business if she chooses to keep her name? Is the husband complaining? Why are you taking panadol for another person's headache? Anyway, you can skin your wife alive if wishes to do such, but just mind your own business.

It's common with society women, those who are in limelight and for this 'cause', i believe they retain their maiden names. It's not african if you ask me, cos in my opinion doesn't depict total submission to the husband. Many women in Africa have adopted this norm and it's fast becoming the order. From Liberian President, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf to former finance minister, Ngozi Okonjo Iweala the list is endless,

thank God for the Enlightenment.

when they think their fathers name is better than any name their husband can ever make in his lifetime (forgetting that their mothers too adopted their fathers name and drop d their maiden names o). that is the kind of stupid arrogance that takes them no where.

@lovemoi2

I should get a life as if u av 1

truth be told, i can never be intimidated by any man or woman

konfessor:

when they think their fathers name is better than any name their husband can ever make in his lifetime (forgetting that their mothers too adopted their fathers name and drop d their maiden names o). that is the kind of stupid arrogance that takes them no where.

thank God for the Enlightenment.  

Well my husband would have to deal with that cus I intend to include my dad's name alongside my husband's name. . .My father's name's too sexy to let go! lol. . .

There is nothing bad in keeping your father's name after marriage but we should always remember we are AFRICANS and a real African woman would have to bear her husband's name after marriage.

and the very same women will be the first to raise an eybrow should thier son(s) wife(s) do the same!

Come to think of it why not the man adopting the womans surname. since we preach equality

The inferiority complex in most Nigerian men is overwhelming, hence the need to dominate nearest weaker person around them. In this case, their wives and sometimes children pay for their low self esteem. They barely can handle any change hence they end up killing or doing everything possible to subject their wives to the worst condition in an environment that does not support inequality ie USA. They wish they could maintain their archaic cultures by marrying as many wives as they could and turning them to sex slaves, baby machines and hard laborers.

Now, they are not only comparing their slaves Nigerian women to their American counterpart who are allowed to make their own decisions, they have decided to refer us to laws from the supposedly holy books that were written thousand of years ago to back up their chauvinist attitude.

But come on, I should know better. . . Nigerian women deserve exactly the treatment they are getting from their men. I mean, its heartbreaking to hear from some women here still talking about submission only from the wives when its supposed to be from both ways.

Now, dont get me wrong. I will be happy to have whoever will be my wife bear my surname. . . . but to force it on her simply because my ego will be hurt is nothing but being selfish, chauvinistic and archaic.

HAH:

Come to think of it why not the man adopting the womans surname. since we preach equality

i know, some african men only use the bible for selfish reasons----- like the whole wives should submit to their

husbands, thats their way of making their victims  i mean wives slaves at home, while they cheat on her, then they

use the excuse of '' i am an african man and its in the culture to have more than one woman''

complete nonsense

My husband took my surname. He married me, I married him, our new surname is a compound of my family and his family's surnames. We bear it proudly. Sue us poster.My father's name has been a part of my identity all my life, and it's not a small part. My husband understood that. I was going to simply hyphenate the surnames, since he's the most important person in my life by far. But he joined my father's surname to his without my asking it of him. It never even occurred to me. He just blew me away and left me speechless with how much I love him. It's a very brave thing for a man to do, and to be honest it sounded strange and I was a little worried about it at first. But only briefly, it made so much sense when he explained. It was much easier for me to effect the name change in Nigeria than he in his home country though. Reading the various responses of the men on this thread shows a stunning disparity in outlook to life, and it's not taking account of little things like this that get some women in trouble in their haste to get married. Beautifully said, Nuzo. Beautifully said.

The ladies have earned certificates, recognitions etc before getting married. For ease of identification, they hyphenate their maiden names - no qualms about that and shouldn't concern or threaten anybody

@poster, Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, has a partner, but doesn't bear his name. Merkel is her father's name