My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week - Family (4)

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My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Nobody: 3:02am On Dec 20, 2016

pocohantas:
People used to come to family section to get quality advice, somehow some people from the children's department still find their way here.

OP, ignore these boys.
You'll be surprised at their ages.
These same guys, clean their rooms, bathe, lay their beds, buy fuel to put on generator, indomie and lacasera because their babe is coming...and they wanna do.

Now they are here advising a married man to collect by 'force', ignore his wife...etc.
You can imagine.

So, you're implying that some men only bathe when their girlfriends come visiting?! shocked

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by texanomaly(f): 3:05am On Dec 20, 2016

Stricker321:

You have said it all my brother. I am beginning to think she hates having sex with me like you said. If not for my Christian faith I tell you I would have married another woman now.

Christian men are really suffering because our wives know we cannot go outside and at the same time cannot divorce them.

If you think the bolded is true find out why. Talk about what you both like about sex. Try pleasing her. Do you jump on top of her and do your business...then roll over and go to sleep? Maybe she gets nothing out of it. The best sex is enjoyed by both participants.

Sometimes it has more to do with what goes on outside the bedroom though. Great advice below.

Pidgin2:

Do you do anything in the house besides eat, sleep, watch TV and have endless sex? Your wife may be overburdened with house chores and she might be too tired to meet up to your demands.

Help her with domestic work or get someone to help her.

We all need to feel loved and appreciated. For some women this needs to come first. Then they are more than willing to show love physically. Many men think sex is the way to show love. Thats not necessarily wrong. It's just not the way some women see it.

Try showing her you love her in other ways. Try pleasing her without sex. Touch her in ways that are not sexual. Try doing some of the things you used to do before you got married. Have a date night. Send her to get her hair and nails done. Think back to when the two of you had fun. Marriage shouldn't be all work and no play.

Do this for at least a month. Don't complain about the sex only 2 days a week. Since you said you are Christian, pray about your needs during this time. Pray with your wife too. Pray with her and ask God to bless your family, your wife, your children (if you have them), your home... Hold hands when you pray and when you discuss things with her.

If you earnestly do these things you should see a change in her. She will start wanting to make you as happy as you make her. Maybe it isn't fair that you have to do this, but someone must start the ball rolling. A woman who feels loved and appreciated will bend over backwards to please her husband.

Good luck and God bless.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by TWoods(m): 4:13am On Dec 20, 2016

lol your wife is willing to give you 2ce a week and you're complaining? Most men are lucky to get it once a month... you better thank your wife and buy her roses and jewelry in appreciation.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by pmc01(m): 4:48am On Dec 20, 2016

cococandy:

What has feminism got to do with sex schedule?

Everything Madam. Let's start with the fact that you consider it something so mechanical and merely routine, rather than a spontaneous act of intimacy.

You have no right to downplay the importance, especially when you even read the situation is emotionally draining the man, to the extent of affecting his work and productivity.
It will even be more unfair to blame him for this. I have read from experts how important sex is in a marriage, in relation to other aspect of the couple's individual lives.

All the same, let me apologize for coming down to harsh on you.

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by pmc01(m): 5:00am On Dec 20, 2016

Mr OP, let me tell you honestly- The importance of sex in a marriage can not be downplayed.
However, it doesn't always have to be sex. There are numerous delighting pre-intimacy games that might bring you even more satisfaction and relief than just sex.

As much as I don't agree on choosing specific date/time for such natural adventure, I will ask you to give some consideration to your wife's dilemma.
Not vouching for her, but it could that she's undergoing some personal emotional struggles. This might need you to play closer attention and show more affection to help her pull through the phase.

Overall, I will advise you seek the help of a professional sex therapist. There is one that has a column in Saturday Punch newspaper. You can try seek her out for professional help.
All the best in your marriage brother.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by pmc01(m): 5:01am On Dec 20, 2016

CFCman:

So, you're implying that some men only bathe when their girlfriends come visiting?!

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by cococandy(f): 5:05am On Dec 20, 2016

Many of you have comprehension issues.

Mtchew.

pmc01:

Everything Madam. Let's start with the fact that you consider it something so mechanical and merely routine, rather than a spontaneous act of intimacy.

You have no right to downplay the importance, especially when you even read the situation is emotionally draining the man, to the extent of affecting his work and productivity.
It will even be more unfair to blame him for this. I have read from experts how important sex is in a marriage, in relation to other aspect of the couple's individual lives.

All the same, let me apologize for coming down to harsh on you.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by pmc01(m): 5:12am On Dec 20, 2016

cococandy:
Many of you have comprehension issues.
Mtchew.

Many of you have ego issues. I'll just pass.

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by dopedealer(m): 6:07am On Dec 20, 2016

ActOfWar:
Lol! You are joking ryhh?

ThaT nigga is mean...

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by pocohantas(f): 6:20am On Dec 20, 2016

CFCman:

So, you're implying that some men only bathe when their girlfriends come visiting?!

Lol.
Not that, but you'll be amazed at how much they pay attention to their hygiene when a girl is coming around.
Those ones in Nigerian universities are the worst culprit, sadly...they are the ones advising OP.

These same men will marry tomorrow, and expect their wives to spread the legs inside hot room with their smelly bodies because it is their CONJUGAL RIGHT.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Nobody: 6:30am On Dec 20, 2016

pocohantas:

Lol.
Not that, but you'll be amazed at how much they pay attention to their hygiene when a girl is coming around.
Those ones in Nigerian universities are the worst culprit, sadly...they are the ones advising OP.

These same men will marry tomorrow, and expect their wives to spread the legs inside hot room with their smelly bodies because it is their CONJUGAL RIGHT.

Eww.
That's just gross. Personal hygiene is important to me every day though.
Can't imagine wearing only 2/3 boxers, or not doing laundry every week or every other week.

I sure as hell can't make love in a dirty environment.

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by kayzat: 6:51am On Dec 20, 2016

Pidgin2:

There is always two sides to a story, you've said your part but we've not heard from her so how can we judge this matter fairly?

Two days a week is not too bad, make the most of it by making her want more. I don't see anything wrong with this, some men like you allow their wives to study elsewhere or to travel for months and some still remain faithful. What do you spend your spare time doing? Get busy, engage in positive hobbies, it seems your mind is always on sex, do you have a job?

like seriously

he should get busy because his wife is denying him sex ! why don't you advice him to kill himself instead ?

You women can be very selfish . Should the man go out chasing other women now you will join them in judging him abi?

radarada !!!

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by kayzat: 7:00am On Dec 20, 2016

sparkleRed:
Twice in a week is enuf to me except u both don't work, after. Work stress u pple will still come and do jigi jigi jaga issokay

The problem is not the number of days in a week but the way the wife stick to the chosen days like its a law . Assuming the chosen days was Monday and Friday , the husband can't shake body aside those days, the timetable is not amendable.

Their marriage is too young to be passing through this kind of issues abeg.

It is a demeaning act which may lead to serious issues later

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by JerryTemi(f): 7:07am On Dec 20, 2016

please find a place in your heart and forgive your wife. sir do all this am about to say in her presence and at odd hours just watch how she will be running around to beg you. buy a new sim,use it and call your line or messages to your main line(Romantic messages) leave your phone and to the bath room watch her behaviour and if you are typing comment on that sex aspect like you were satisfied and wish to have more also around 12 or 1,call your line and do like you don't want to pick it,if you notice her interest is there pick it and shift belt me she will become restless and curious to no who that lady is and will wish to have you back. good luck

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Nobody: 7:29am On Dec 20, 2016

Stricker321:

You have said it all my brother. I am beginning to think she hates having sex with me like you said. If not for my Christian faith I tell you I would have married another woman now.

Christian men are really suffering because our wives know we cannot go outside and at the same time cannot divorce them.

firstly I would say perhaps you are not upto a man so to say. if you have the grip of your matrimonial home she won't give you timetable. perhaps you are sharing some responsibilities with her. Then I blame pple who does court marriage with women cos by this she knows she's at liberty your jugular vein is in her hands cos she nos u can't try marrying another woman.
I would not advise you go out with another woman outside married cos it's not good for your health and makes you unstable in life but nothing stops you from having another wife. Hmmm I trust ma sef no woman fill try that with me na two women I go marry join her

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Olabestonic001(m): 7:57am On Dec 20, 2016

Mutuwa:

I take it you are the man of the house,and in charge as well? Or is there anything else the forum needs to know?

That's not how it works in marriage. It takes great knowledge to stay married as a man.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Olabestonic001(m): 8:03am On Dec 20, 2016

Stricker321:

How? I have been married over 5yrs now.

Sir, take your wife to a marriage counsellor. Her past and upbringing is haunting your marriage. She might not even be able to connect with the issue.
As a married couple, sex should be like 3-5 days in a week without using timetable.
You can't handle her issue.
On a second note, get Tim Lahaye's book; 'The Act of Marriage'. Ensure you both read it together without pursuing sex during the read.

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Nobody: 8:13am On Dec 20, 2016

dopedealer:

ThaT nigga is mean...

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by PierreSizzl(m): 8:19am On Dec 20, 2016

Mutuwa:

Can't you marry another woman that will yield to your sex demands? Life is too short for one to leave the comfort of his life,in the hands of one woman.

Don't cheat on her.Make plans to marry again.and make it explicit to her,except if you fear the after math.

When has creating a problem to solve another ever worked?

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by PierreSizzl(m): 8:36am On Dec 20, 2016

Pidgin2:

This is very bad advice, OP you will be surprised that it is a secondary school student giving you advice. Nairaland is not the best place to seek counsel

Do you do anything in the house besides eat, sleep, watch TV and have endless sex? Your wife may be overburdened with house chores and she might be too tired to meet up to your demands.

Help her with domestic work or get someone to help her. Try and exercise self control, what if you have to travel away for a month, wouldn't you be able to hold yourself, is sex food, or does it sustain your breathing?

I agree with you ma.. Partially tho.. You are not to deny your partner your body. It's absurd, and it leads to more problems. This man is only baring his mind because I believe he is a good man. Majority would just find another girl that will fill in for madam every other day.

@OP: Maybe she's overburdened with work. She's stressed because you don't help her around the house (maybe).

Look for opportunities to do chores together. Take her out to places she'd love. Be as romantic as possible always.

And when the time comes, don't rush.. Engage in serious pre-intimacy for a long time. You'd be surprised how much your fingers can do.. Forget about yourself. Make it your mission to get her to enjoy it. Observe her body and learn how your touches affect her. Watch out for feedback-not necessarily moans, it can be fake- how she twitches when you touch her. Note how and where you touched her.. Give her head if you can.. It works like magic

Bottom line, try everything. See what she likes and don't judge. Just do.

Good luck.

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Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by dhevid(m): 9:21am On Dec 20, 2016

Stricker321:

I have talked to her many times but nothing has changed. I can only have her when I approach her on those two days in a week. Anything outside that only ends in frustration for me.

Judging from what you've said, I think the fault is from you. Why? You've given her to much authority and she is becoming complacent. As a man you should take charge of every situation, you should not have let it get to this stage, how would your wife bring a proposal of having see twice in a week and you accept? I mean what kind of a ridiculous deal is that? You should have rejected such nonsense at the time, you can't accept and still want other wise!

Right now i say you only have two options, tell her you have to review the terms of the deal and the two days just doesn't work for you

Secondly threaten her of going outside if she doesn't give you when ever you ask of it! Take charge of the situation and stand your ground, you are a man!

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Riddler32: 12:20pm On Dec 20, 2016

Stricker321:
I am so confused right now. My wife cannot cope with my demands in the bedroom.

She has asked me to select only two days in a week when we can have sex. I am so confused and worried right now because I don't want to go after other women.

I have tried all I can to ask her to take a second look at this decision because it does not work well for me at all but she has refused.

Anytime I try to approach her outside those two days she does not allow and I end up going to work frustrated the next day.

God help me.

Do you have kids. If no, how are you going to reproduce. How many years have you been married?

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Nobody: 1:44pm On Dec 20, 2016

Olabestonic001:

That's not how it works in marriage. It takes great knowledge to stay married as a man.

Most people responding are teenagers in secondary school(you need to see their pictures), the problem is they will never listen to someone like you, a result of poor home training, yet someone will listen to their so called advise and ruin his marriage in the process

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by pocohantas(f): 3:24pm On Dec 20, 2016

CFCman:

Eww.
That's just gross. Personal hygiene is important to me every day though.
Can't imagine wearing only 2/3 boxers, or not doing laundry every week or every other week.

I sure as hell can't make love in a dirty environment.

Seems you don't stay in Nigeria?
Lots of Nigerian guys don't have more than 3 boxers. There was a thread on it way back, some of them admitted wearing 1 boxers for 2-3 days.
Don't worry, they change it when they are expecting a girl.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Nobody: 4:57pm On Dec 20, 2016

pocohantas:

Seems you don't stay in Nigeria?
Lots of Nigerian guys don't have more than 3 boxers. There was a thread on it way back, some of them admitted wearing 1 boxers for 2-3 days.
Don't worry, they change it when they are expecting a girl.

Yeah, I stay outside Naija.

Well, guys always try to impress ladies. But if the girl doesn't show up, they won't change it grin

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Ngokafor(f): 5:28pm On Dec 20, 2016

...@pocahontas don finish work for this thread..lol!! cheesy

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Olabestonic001(m): 6:43pm On Dec 20, 2016

Pidgin2:

Most people responding are teenagers in secondary school(you need to see their pictures), the problem is they will never listen to someone like you, a result of poor home training, yet someone will listen to their so called advise and ruin his marriage in the process

Don't mind them, they think its their girlfriend.
A wife is different from a girlfriend.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Happyfellow147: 7:49pm On Dec 20, 2016

Shallow response to a pressing issue

Op, you mean the property(woman) you bought(married) with your money, gave you timetable on when to touch her

Op, you are joking

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by boladale(f): 10:21pm On Dec 20, 2016

Exactly. Women don suffer.

pocohantas:

Lol.
Not that, but you'll be amazed at how much they pay attention to their hygiene when a girl is coming around.
Those ones in Nigerian universities are the worst culprit, sadly...they are the ones advising OP.

These same men will marry tomorrow, and expect their wives to spread the legs inside hot room with their smelly bodies because it is their CONJUGAL RIGHT.

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by Nobody: 8:53am On Dec 21, 2016

cococandy:
She gives you twice a week. It's more than many married people get. Count your blessings and love on. The only problem I have is with the rigidity of the plan. Sex should be spontaneous and fun.

If you like listen to fools telling you to discard her or marry another wife. YOUR LOSS. It's that simple.

All I see are hormonal boys advising you to ruin your marriage because of sex. not that your wife is a bad person or is abusive. You can go ahead and listen to them.

well said if ure wife has other good qualities I suggest u stick to her. In as much as sex is important in marriage it's not everything. If it's all about sex men who patronize prostitutes would end up marrying them. I would rather stick with a good woman that even offers me sex once a week than a bad woman who is ready to give me daily sex.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Has Given Me Days To Come For Sex Every Week by filani(m): 9:49am On Dec 21, 2016

@ stricker321
With 3 pages done , a fair bit has been said on this thread but if by any chance you are still following this thread then let me also offer my 2 kobo.

Stricker321:
I am so confused right now. My wife cannot cope with my demands in the bedroom.

She has asked me to select only two days in a week when we can have sex. I am so confused and worried right now because I don't want to go after other women.

Please understand one thing right off the bat......You can't negotiate sexual desire with your 'wife'

https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/25/the-desire-dynamic/

which is exactly what you were trying to do below

Stricker321:

I have tried all I can to ask her to take a second look at this decision because it does not work well for me at all but she has refused.

Anytime I try to approach her outside those two days she does not allow and I end up going to work frustrated the next day.

God help me.

' A woman who wants to f*ck you will find a way to f*ck you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, f*ck the shit out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to f*ck will find a way to Bleep. ' - Rollo Tomassi

Stricker321, burn the above quote into your heart and soul as it is the bitter truth. Your wife giving you a timetable for sex is as good as saying she has no sexual desire for you!

Your post will never tell any of us all the in and outs of your marriage but for your own benefit and others in a similar case please follow the links below

https://therationalmale.com/2014/02/23/beta-bleeps/

https://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/

When it's all said and done , us guys will be better served by adopting a mindset of screening our proposed future marriage partners on their attitudes towards sex in marriage to avoid a situation like that of the OP.

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