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How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? - Family - Nairaland

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How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by solace2013: 1:13pm On Dec 26, 2016
Cynthia was my girlfriend at the university about 12 years ago. She parted ways with me when we were in 300 level because of a guy from her hometown who her parent wanted her to marry.
I haven't been hearing frequently from her since then. I learnt that they got married in 2008. On June 30 this year, she sent a friend request to me on Facebook which I excitedly accepted, as a girlfriend I haven't heard from in more than a decade. Within one week of chatting with me on Facebook messenger, she started telling story of woes, how her Hubby's business isn't working normally anymore, how she lost her banking job, how paying children school fees and feeding has been difficult etc. I have given assistance on two occasions (totalling 50k), but she have persisted in making financial demand. It's not that I'm too buoyant financially but I have been managing to be above waters. I'm confused and embarrassed sometimes when a supposedly married woman with kids would unashamedly ask for financial assistance from an ex, I intend to still assist one more time and after that no more, her pestering is becoming too much and nauseating, what do you think great guys in the house?
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by BlackDBagba: 1:15pm On Dec 26, 2016
Reading...
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by maryjan8(f): 1:18pm On Dec 26, 2016
Hmmm
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by yomi007k(m): 1:18pm On Dec 26, 2016
shocked


U hav PH 2 times n u neva GH?


Wow

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by delishpot: 1:33pm On Dec 26, 2016
yomi007k:
shocked


U hav PH 2 times n u neva GH?


Wow

Later they would make posts wondering why women think that any guy who helps them is expecting sex in return. This is the reason why. This your comment grin grin grin grin

7 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Mujaheeeden: 1:35pm On Dec 26, 2016
Boy, tell her to look for someone else or else she will continue with sob story for you to give her money.


She left you then because she didn't see any future with you and now she wants you to carry her new family load. Mbanu


There is a reason why it's called EX

20 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Olanna45(f): 1:35pm On Dec 26, 2016
Kindly let her know you have your own responsibilities to take care of.

3 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by sexy74(m): 1:58pm On Dec 26, 2016
OP
depends on the kind of things she asks for and how frequent it is.
If it's to settle and immediate need that just cropped up without notice like hospital bills if u have give.
If on the other hand they are for needs that are not impromptu or sudden pally tell am say you no get.
Morally always requesting something from your ex is not too proper, what happens if the husband finds out how do you think he will feel.
on the other hand if our partner always request help from their ex's no one will take it lightly.
So please be properly guided.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by propzncribz: 2:10pm On Dec 26, 2016
I'm sure you are pleased you did not marry her after all.

1 Like

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by cococandy(f): 3:31pm On Dec 26, 2016
You don't owe her money. Tell her you can't if you can't. Simples.

BTW if I left a guy to marry someone else, I'd rather quench before I admit to him that I chose the wrong person instead of him. cheesy

Lol. I guess we are not all the same.

21 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by byvan03: 3:49pm On Dec 26, 2016
Just block her on facebook.

4 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Nobody: 4:04pm On Dec 26, 2016
OP, you're not obligated to be giving her money at all, so stop it. You said you've already helped her out financially on two occasions and you yourself aren't financially buoyant. If you want to help her out one more time, like you've said, then go ahead. Just know that the more money you give her, the more financal demands she'll be making, until you put a stop to it.

11 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by C4Ltd: 4:25pm On Dec 26, 2016
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Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Richy4(m): 6:31pm On Dec 26, 2016
She knew your weakness bro, and she was using it with all her might.....and that weakness is your heart....need I remind you that she is married...If the husband became aware of what you were doing, how do you think he will feel?

Op you are an EX... and she too was an Ex...So both of you belong to the dustbin of history...Do not awaken an unnecessary emotion...It is dangerous..
.

9 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Bobmaintain: 6:40pm On Dec 26, 2016
Next time she asks you for money, tell her you will need the permission and approval of her husband before you can do so.

10 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by solace2013: 6:48pm On Dec 26, 2016
Bobmaintain:
Next time she asks your for money, tell her you will need the permission and approval of her husband before you can do so.
Great suggestion. She's been telling me never to mind each time l ask about her hubby.

1 Like

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by dee02(m): 6:51pm On Dec 26, 2016
solace2013:
Cynthia was my girlfriend at the university about 12 years ago. She parted ways with me when we were in 300 level because of a guy from her hometown who her parent wanted her to marry.
I haven't been hearing frequently from her since then. I learnt that they got married in 2008. On June 30 this year, she sent a friend request to me on Facebook which I excitedly accepted, as a girlfriend I haven't heard from in more than a decade. Within one week of chatting with me on Facebook messenger, she started telling story of woes, how her Hubby's business isn't working normally anymore, how she lost her banking job, how paying children school fees and feeding has been difficult etc. I have given assistance on two occasions (totalling 50k), but she have persisted in making financial demand. It's not that I'm too buoyant financially but I have been managing to be above waters. I'm confused and embarrassed sometimes when a supposedly married woman with kids would unashamedly ask for financial assistance from an ex, I intend to still assist one more time and after that no more, her pestering is becoming too much and nauseating, what do you think great guys in the house?

Marry her and her husband!

1 Like

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Mordyb: 6:52pm On Dec 26, 2016
My People talk say beans wey you no go chop make you no smell am. Hmm... This one odikwa very risky

1 Like

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Bobmaintain: 6:58pm On Dec 26, 2016
solace2013:
Great suggestion. She's been telling me never to mind each time l ask about her hubby.

Insist on getting her husband's approval or permission, or she should forget about it. This will save your head against any false accusation or cheap blackmail.

Not tomorrow she will begin to accuse you of enticing her with money. We are in a strange world, anything can happen!

Please be very very careful.

10 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Daviddson(m): 7:17pm On Dec 26, 2016
You better stop it for your own good. If you don't, sooner than later, she'll start thinking of how to pay you back in body. I guess you know the grievous consequences such usually bring.
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by baby124: 7:20pm On Dec 26, 2016
Just block her. Also tell her to meet her parents for solution to her problems. They gave her the solution once before by offering her a husband from her hometown. Maybe they can provide for her now too by plucking money from the tree in her hometown. Tell her she made her choice to suffer through thick and thin and that you need your own money for your future family. She should deal with her own problems while you deal with yours. Tell her she is greedy and should be content with what her husband provides her and you are glad you didn't marry her as she would have disgraced you just as she is disgracing her husband begging for money on Facebook. Smh.

11 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by jmoore(m): 7:31pm On Dec 26, 2016
"God loves a cheerful giver". grin

1 Like

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by Fkforyou(m): 8:00pm On Dec 26, 2016
Welldone...o Mr helper.

Why you no go invent your own MMM... undecided

1 Like

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by olac21(m): 8:07pm On Dec 26, 2016
Thats pure nonsense if you ask me...shes in the past for a reason,so either for financial or any other help,let her ask someone else and not you...bye
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by StoneColdBiceps(m): 8:29pm On Dec 26, 2016
NotOfThis:
OP, you're not obligated to be giving her money at all, so stop it. You said you've already helped her out financially on two occasions and you yourself aren't financially buoyant. If you want to help her out one more time, like you've said, then go ahead. Just know that the more money you give her, the more financal demands she'll be making, until you put a stop to it.

No, Untill her husband finds out she has been having money and Shes not working. Then suspicion sets in. .. Then family la crash completely.

1 Like

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by angelTI(f): 8:42pm On Dec 26, 2016
@OP, are you married?
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by pocohantas(f): 9:03pm On Dec 26, 2016
cococandy:
You don't owe her money. Tell her you can't if you can't. Simples.

BTW if I left a guy to marry someone else, I'd rather quench before I admit to him that I chose the wrong person instead of him. cheesy

Lol. I guess we are not all the same.

Very annoying.
I am sure she won't tell her husband where she is getting the money from. I doubt any Nigerian man would tolerate that...

She is obviously cashing in on OP's weakness.
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by legalexpert: 9:30pm On Dec 26, 2016
oga Op,
ignore her request... you are meant to be building your future not hers, she is past and she is another person's responsibility, if the guy cannot take care of his home, its not your business, tough luck to her. as she choose husband make she enjoy husband, no be ur headache.. ps dont even think of getting gratification for help rendered..

1 Like

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by solace2013: 9:39pm On Dec 26, 2016
legalexpert:
oga Op,
ignore her request... you are meant to be building your future not hers, she is past and she is another person's responsibility, if the guy cannot take care of his home, its not your business, tough luck to her. as she choose husband make she enjoy husband, no be ur headache.. ps dont even think of getting gratification for help rendered..
gratification? NO, no such thing.
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by MMotimo: 10:30pm On Dec 26, 2016
solace2013:
Cynthia was my girlfriend at the university about 12 years ago. She parted ways with me when we were in 300 level because of a guy from her hometown who her parent wanted her to marry.
I haven't been hearing frequently from her since then. I learnt that they got married in 2008. On June 30 this year, she sent a friend request to me on Facebook which I excitedly accepted, as a girlfriend I haven't heard from in more than a decade. Within one week of chatting with me on Facebook messenger, she started telling story of woes, how her Hubby's business isn't working normally anymore, how she lost her banking job, how paying children school fees and feeding has been difficult etc. I have given assistance on two occasions (totalling 50k), but she have persisted in making financial demand. It's not that I'm too buoyant financially but I have been managing to be above waters. I'm confused and embarrassed sometimes when a supposedly married woman with kids would unashamedly ask for financial assistance from an ex, I intend to still assist one more time and after that no more, her pestering is becoming too much and nauseating, what do you think great guys in the house?


Do you have a wife, kids? If yes, then your focus should be on them and you should have your wife's permission for the assistance you are rendering.
If no, that's your answer - water your own land so that it will produce for you. Do not create an irrigation system in another man's land.
If you wish to continue the assistance then your spouse(s) have to be in the know and in agreement with what you are doing.

3 Likes

Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by cococandy(f): 10:51pm On Dec 26, 2016
grin
baby124:
Just block her. Also tell her to meet her parents for solution to her problems. They gave her the solution once before by offering her a husband from her hometown. Maybe they can provide for her now too by plucking money from the tree in her hometown. Tell her she made her choice to suffer through thick and thin and that you need your own money for your future family. She should deal with her own problems while you deal with yours. Tell her she is greedy and should be content with what her husband provides her and you are glad you didn't marry her as she would have disgraced you just as she is disgracing her husband begging for money on Facebook. Smh.
Re: How Far Can I Help My Now Married Ex-girlfriend Financially? by cococandy(f): 10:59pm On Dec 26, 2016
pocohantas:


Very annoying.
I am sure she won't tell her husband where she is getting the money from. I doubt any Nigerian man would tolerate that...

She is obviously cashing in on OP's weakness.
It's not even that she's getting the money outside that's the problem. I don't think it's a huge deal if the husband is aware that someone gave her(them) money. Circumstances differ.

It's just that the guy is an ex and she dumped him for this man she married now. Wow. I'd be mortified to ask an ex that I left for money to give me the same money I thought he'd never have.

what will he think? "Good for you."
I guess.

No. I'd rather suffer in silence and wear my best clothes in case I ever run into him. I'm fine o. I don't care how bad it is but he must never know.

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