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What Are Your Views On Divorce? - Family - Nairaland

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What Are Your Views On Divorce? by whizkid(f): 12:40pm On Jun 01, 2005
Hi guys,

In Western worlds, divorce is very common, as a matter of fact, it happens almost everyday. Two people decide to come together and take a vow to share the rest of their lives together, forever. Both after a while for one reason or the other they want out and want to go their seperate ways; sometimes not even considering the fact they children are involved. Some of them go into marriage and come out quickly why others stay together for 10 years and more before they decide they want out.

In Nigeria, we attach importance to keeping our marriage vows and maybe that is why divorce is not so common here but it does happen, yes, Nigerians do divorce but very insignificant figure. That notwithstanding, not all marriages are rosy but the couples still decide to stick together or more like co-exist. But is it really worth it? why suffer in silence? why not go separate ways like people in the western world and find happiness with someone else? what is stopping us? what are we afraid us? or are we trying to uphold moral values, but don't your happiness count? Your views are welcomed.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by jogego(m): 12:51pm On Jun 01, 2005
Below is from Matthew 19

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?"

4And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,

5and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'?

6"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

7They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?"

8He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.

9"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

10The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."

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Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Seun(m): 12:56pm On Jun 01, 2005
trish: Why not go separate ways like people in the western world and find happiness with someone else?

Because most of the time, when couples go their separate ways, they do not find happiness with someone else! The divorce rate for people who have once been divorced is higher than for those who are getting married for the first time.

It's worth thinking about. Perhaps the problem is not chemistry but something in the lifestyle of the partners themselves that makes it hard for them to maintain their marriages? Maybe some people don't know the basic things they need to kow to make marriage work?

I really do believe that our higher institutions should have compulsory courses titled 'Marriage 101' and 'Parenting 101'!. It would make our country 100 times as good as it is today.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by dominobaby(f): 4:53pm On Jun 01, 2005
Divorce [I]most[/I] times is a result of rushed or forced marriages. People rush into marriages for a number of flimsy reasons.

"Marry in haste, repent in leisure" - that's what you get at the end of the day.

When you take time to find the one who really is the one for you, you would not for any reason divorce such one.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by legry(m): 4:58pm On Jun 01, 2005
A sad thing but also a necessity [[I]at times[/I]].

Wives, if you have a husband that's beating and trashing you physically or mentally round the whole place and you can divorce [s]his stupid (God I hate wife beaters) lily-livered, chicken-faced, coward's ass[/s] [I]him[/I], then divorce on the spot.

Husbands, if you have a sleeping around give-everybody-part-of-me wife and you know you can afford or handle it, divorce her black behind before you say ah!

So, my point, divorce is a sad thing But can also be a necessity. cool

2 Likes

Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Fidelia(f): 7:12pm On Jun 01, 2005
The rate at which people go for divorce these days is very alarming. But let's come to think of it, why on earth will you stay with someone who can't make you happy? I don't see any sense in that. Coming home with fear of what will happen again. So I think we Africans take marriage as a compulsory institution and it's not!

Though the children suffer the most side of it, but I can't continue to live with a man who can't make me happy and who will not cherish me. So I'll better find love in someone else and if I can't find love I'll be a single mother and look after my kids.

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Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by bootysue(f): 11:36am On Jun 02, 2005
reckon its from the pit of hell sad
only one reason is permissible for divorce and thats infidelity as we all know

dont u guys think if u put as much effort as u put into ur business in ur marriage, divorce cases will be lesser?

women, patience is the word, not saying u shd be a dummy though.

if the success of a marriage is dependent on the men, they would have been the ones seeing the midwives. grin
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by whizkid(f): 10:50am On Jun 15, 2005
Life is too short. I say go the divorce way, if there is nothing else you can do to make it work, no need to suffer in silence.

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Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Eresi(f): 10:55am On Jun 15, 2005
Divorce is a situation that arises when a man and woman legally joined together as husband and wife decide to separate, each going his own way. As far as I am concerned, divorce is wrong on whatever ground.

MArriage is for matured people and so when once one gets married, you must be prepared to face the music.  The music varies according the parties concerned.  Once a woman chooses a man as her husband,  she must learn to dance to the man's tune and when she derials, the man must be able to tolerate.

No mistake is too heavy for the man to bear from his wife even if he finds her naked in another man's house.  The way problems are handled lead to whether it would reoccur or not.

Let husbands and wives learn to tolerate each other.  It is very important to curb the issue of divorce.

2 Likes

Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by olaide07(f): 11:22am On Jun 15, 2005
Children brought up by seperate parents or divorced parents are always unhappy and seems to vent their anger on the society.Even though they pretend to be happy, innermost they seem to have missed a greatest thing-the joy of living with both parents.
Sometimes,divorce is not the solution to the dispute in the family but one of the patners tend to seek liberty for his or her infidelity.Parents should try and think twice for the sake of the children and their future.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Red(m): 7:42am On Jun 20, 2005
A lot of wornd stuff being written on here.Divorce occur for a variety of reasons and not all of them are crap reasons.Funny thing hearing Nigerians always trying to establish their moral superiority when in reality they are just like everyone else.I have seen a LOT of Nigerian couples divorce over here and they are just as messy if not more that the regular folks.

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Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Motee(f): 2:59pm On Jun 30, 2005
Quite alright it is wrong to divorce but I think its the best if you can't cope with one another again. The children will definitely be the one to suffer through it but it works out for those that believe in God.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Greatpeter(m): 3:29pm On Jun 30, 2005
Motee:

Quite alright it is wrong to divorce but I think its the best if you can't cope with one another again. The children will definitely be the one to suffer through it but it works out for those that believe in God.

Divorse is wrong. Anything bad has no other name.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by gina34(f): 1:25pm On Aug 09, 2005
Divorce is wrong that why it is very good to marry someone u love enough to stay with for better for worse , once u are in u got to stay in.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by hotangel2(f): 6:34am On Aug 10, 2005
Bible apart.

Divorce is good and it's also bad.

My views on divorce are: I am willing to divorce any stupid-ass man that messes with my heart.

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Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by nddy(m): 6:50am On Aug 10, 2005
cool Divorce is 100% good if you have a reason for it. I dont think its wrong.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by WesleyanA(f): 7:29am On Aug 27, 2005
i really don't support divorce but if it's really bad bad bad bad then you can consider it. that's why people shouldn't just rush into marriage. you have to think about it and know your partner well. i don't think less than a year is enough.
because i know this one lady.. her husband almost drowned her once while they were arguing (like they probably do everyday) and i'm sure they're still together up until this day. they have 2 kids too. now if my marriage was like that (heavens forbid) i'll consider getting a divorce.

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Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Motee(f): 3:58pm On Oct 07, 2005
I learnt yesterday that when you divorce you can't even re-marry unless death do u both part.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by SirKay3(m): 8:17pm On Oct 25, 2005
wrong

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Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Greatpeter(m): 8:19pm On Oct 25, 2005
Sir kay which one is wrong? Divorce or Motee's comment?
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by WesleyanA(f): 9:01pm On Oct 25, 2005
it is possible to get marrried again after divorce. i don't know where you learned that from motee.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Greatpeter(m): 9:03pm On Oct 25, 2005
It is in the Bible wesleyanA.
If you divorce you can't re-marry until your divorcee is dead.
But no room anyway for divource.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by hotangel2(f): 9:03pm On Oct 25, 2005
rolleyes rolleyes rolleyes
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Greatpeter(m): 9:04pm On Oct 25, 2005
What is this HA?
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by WesleyanA(f): 9:08pm On Oct 25, 2005
Greatpeter:

It is in the Bible wesleyanA.
If you divorce you can't re-marry until your divorcee is dead.
But no room anyway for divource.

can we stop bringing the bible into every post? undecided
well, if you're christian then you can't remarry. if you're not, you're lucky because YOU CAN!  cheesy

well if you're christian and you still want to remarry, do it traditionally or in court (you can't do it in church?)  lipsrsealed
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Greatpeter(m): 9:11pm On Oct 25, 2005
Wes, why shouldn't we bring bible to all matter?
Are not a christian?
So what is word guilding you even when you're going astray.
Is the word of God not to show us the we should live and what to do at the right time?
So what's wrong about that?

Is the guilding rules and words of God, to admonish and correct.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by SirKay3(m): 10:00pm On Oct 25, 2005
Greatpeter, divorce is wrong
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by Greatpeter(m): 10:01pm On Oct 25, 2005
Thank you my brother.
Help me echo it into their ears.
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by SirKay3(m): 10:07pm On Oct 25, 2005
WRONG oooooooooooooooooo

Una hear, marriage is sweet o
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by WesleyanA(f): 10:59pm On Oct 25, 2005
divorce is not wrong. i wouldn't want to live with an abusive, unfaithful, irresponsible husband because "bible says i have to". once i smell serious stuff, i'm out. this is most likely not going to happen because it's not like i'm just going to see a guy on the street and run to the church w/ him. . i feel bad for "christian wives" that have to stay in relationships like that because of "religion".
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by queen2(f): 11:10pm On Oct 25, 2005
Divorce is wrong! Why?
First of all, no matter what view one takes in the issue of divorce it is important to remember the words of the Bible, "I hate divorce, says the Lord, according to the Bible, God’s plan is that marriage be a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one.

Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been
this way. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another
woman commits adultery."

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except
for the cause of unchastity
, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced
woman commits adultery."
Re: What Are Your Views On Divorce? by WesleyanA(f): 11:26pm On Oct 25, 2005
queen2:

Divorce is wrong! Why?
First of all, no matter what view one takes in the issue of divorce it is important to remember the words of the Bible, "I hate divorce, says the Lord, according to the Bible, God’s plan is that marriage be a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one.

Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been
this way. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another
woman commits adultery."

But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except
for the cause of unchastity
, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced
woman commits adultery."


see, that applies only to consevative christians. i'm not one so it doesn't apply to me.
you don't watch oprah do you. if you did, you'll have seen husbands who beat their wifes up everyday, rapes them, get into trouble with the law, are irresponsible (don't take care of wife and kids). these wifes' only way is divorce.except if they want to commit sucide
see, the bible is really old. it doesn't apply to modern times. you can't be saying let's practice the law of the year 1000328 BC. if not, all of us (blacks) will be slaves for white people today. it was after the declaration of rights that says all men are equall that slavery was abolished (that wasn't in the bible)
and if not, women woundn't have any rights today (to good jobs, vote e.t.c). because women almost didn't have much rights in the bible and it was like that until quite recently.

so make sure you think before using the bible to justify every point you're trying to make. some just don't fit in the "religion" category. for secular topics like politics, social, economics and the likes, God shouldn't be brought into arguements. only in religious topics we can bring in religion. divorce is a social topic. so if you don't like your husband or wife and you  both don't feel right living together, GET A DIVORCE instead of living together even though you hate each other to pieces and cause more problems and troubles for yourself all in the name of "religion".

the world is changing and we have to change with it.

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