zolapeperenpe:

So u sef see am!!
https://www.nairaland.com/3117231/what-wrong-me
https://www.nairaland.com/3244340/what-perfect-gift-fiancee-birthday
https://www.nairaland.com/3321714/why-deep-lust-what-overcome
https://www.nairaland.com/3360389/should-disclose-salary-raise-fiancee
https://www.nairaland.com/3449060/cancel-wedding
https://www.nairaland.com/3424838/how-know-finacee-virgin/1
https://www.nairaland.com/3552196/wife-driving-me-crazy-getting

Dear OP,
You are a wuss! The only life challenges you've been having has always been your 'wife'. Even the day you touched her private part,you had to come to NL and ask people how to overcome the 'lust'.
Pls you people should read thru his previous posts and stop wasting your time advising him on what to do.
Give OP 3weeks break,he will still come back and ask NLders '' Help! My wife Kissed me on a sunday morning,how do i use such mouth to pray in the presence of GOd!!!

Gosh! All these small small boys getting married ds days sef haff taya me! Mtshew

overcomer123:


not really abeg, a typical example is during the xmas break i suggested we spend the holidays in obudu or a La Campagne Tropicana, she says no we shd go to the US, me that i knw hw costly the flight ticket is and the dollars cost for hotel, for a break less than 2 weeks.
Those are the kind of issues i face, me myself i like to enjoy but this her own is just somethin else

DrogoG:


You see where I marked bold? That's the root of her behavior.

Most common mistakes some men make is that they use money to get a woman they want to marry. You can use money to get a woman for one night stand but NOT the one you hope to marry!

When you use money to get a woman, you may not know if the woman is in the relationship for the money or not! And some women hardly go backwards in lifestyle. When you start spending a lot of money on her from the very beginning, that's the life style she will continue expecting in the relationship. When you stop spending, problem starts.

Even if you're a billionaire NEVER start a relationship expensively if you really want a woman who will love you for who you're and not for the material stuff she stands to gain from you. Let the woman know the real you not your money.

FortuneTeller:


Yes I am abroad, so it is much easier to leave your husband's home due to financial opportunities. But I know it is not so at home. From 2011 you were living well with your wife, but in 2016 she packed out of your home. I imagine, it was hard for your wife to make the decision. She saw a new husband in 2016. Her loving husband of many years turned wicked. She woke up to a man who was unkind, ungiving, and hard hearted. Imagine you are a dog and your owner gives you plentiful food every day. One day the owner throws you a bone. The owner no longer pets your head and chats, but walks away with a mumble. Initially you think there is a mistake, but as weeks go on, you know that something terrible has taken place. Your wife thought her life was in danger, so she went to the protection of her family. I also see you are quite the flirt of NL by all the ladies you follow. God is not pleased with you. You better jget your wife before it's too late.

maysimsimple:



I wish u well. Maybe u can tell their fortunes where u are ma'am. Her life was never in danger in her matrimonial home. Please again dont say things u dont know about me. i'm not d uncultured type. I'm not a flirt. Social media
Network is annoynymous, anybody can pretend n say whatever they like, Use any pics. And never ever say God is not pleased with me. Bcoz u Dont know my story so shut ur mouth.

nairamaniac:


Herein lies the problem: some girls are just so hawt that their beauty inspires u to give them the best things of life while toasting them or dating them, especially if u can afford it.

U got attracted to her due to several expansive things u saw on her. Brazilian hair, Italian shoes and all that.

You would have to meet up and maintain all u saw in her. Not even caring if its from runs or aristos she gets all u see in her.

Truth is, this your fomular of being prudent during toasting or dating also depends on the beauty and standard of the babe.

Xaddy:
People should exercise patience with the IDGAF Crew. They will still go the way the ENDTIME CREW, the NAME CHECKERS ASSOCIATION Crew, etc went.

Please be patient with us...

As I am a PROUD Member!!!!.

PS:

overcomer123:



Bros i don try talk to her oh,
whenever i do now she see me like am giving some hardd talks and all and just try to mock me.

When we started i used to expose her to how much I had and all and plans to maybe get a land and all and maybe start bulding, but i dont think she is matured to handled some of these things. And i guess cos she knows of the money available this is why she just goes for the most expensive and all and just acts lavish.

I had to lie to her that i was scammed of several of millions through MMM to make her forget about the available cash.

Just imagine the rubbish i have to go through.

See me see whahala , me and my own wife again.

daretodiffer:
The OP could really be a miser who thinks himself not and his wife could really be the spendthrift in the relationship. Either way, it is not our business. You have families and friends....Consult them!

Joavid:
I wonder where men find this kind of women, honestly

women are known to be prudent spenders and money managers.

How on earth did op end up with a woman who has no plans for the future and just wants to spend ?

how kwanu

Bizibi:
hmmm,I'm in one and I just recently noticed the red flags,j want to end the 4 month relationship.
I hate headaches

ebby9z:
Women Ehn. Still had a word with my girl about this kinda issue some days ago when she was telling me to buy this buy that despite explaining things to her. This is someone I'm dating, can't imagine if married.
I'm on this thread to learn. Marriage is one helluva scary institution especially if divorce is a no no for you. If I'm gonna get married, divorce isn't gonna be an option.

eRex:
There is always several ways to kill a rat.
I had something similar. When dialogue and common reasoning failed
What I did:
Withdrew all the cash.. went on leave and we both Blew the cash to infinity. Then we came to Zero.. Lesson learnt the hard way.. then the eyes of her understanding started opening.
For the next one month we respected money well.
If you abuse it, it will disgrace u

nwaanambra1:
sit her down again and tell her that those days you use to buy her expensive things - was campaign!

now you have won the election by marrying her - the campaign is over and its time to face reality!

and the reality is - you guys have to live withing your means or u will end up with serious recession in the family!


you can use this reference to drive home your point!

REFERENCE: Nigerian Election 2015 - and the reality on ground now? Dollar almost N500 to the dollar - Electricity? 2hours per 48 hours!.

overcomer123:
How do couples with different spending patterns cope

my partner is driving me crazy, we have been fighting about everything that has to do with money, she is kinda of lavish and i am prudent. It is really frustrating, she sees me as a miser. She has this idea the higher the cost the more quality, but i know this is not necessary the case. at least from experience, i know how people inflate prices , i try to spend on actual value. I have sat her down and explained to her. How we should nt waste, she promises to change but next thing she is back to the basics.

I also think i may be partially responsible for this, during our courtship, i use to lavish her with very expensive gifts. which to me shd nt be a crime, I wasnt spending beyond my means and there is nothing wrong in giving your woman some exclusive treats once in a while what now bothers me is she expects the cinderella story will continue forever.

There was a day the argument got so intense, she began to say very uncool stuff, on hw she know i hate spending on her and always complain. i really felt hurt. She never looks at the big picture, it is always the most expensive stuff she wants, whenever we do anything.

Our counseling was rushed and proper attention wasnt given to finances and all, everyone just believes she is a well behaved girl. We just got married, I really dont know how i missed this earlier during courtship, but it really causing alot of whahala in our home. The funny part is most of this so called expenses are usually to be solely footed by me. My wife has not for one day called me to say she too will contribute this amount for this or that. I dont complain, or expect, where i have problem is when i decide to pay and she complains it is nt good enough. Am sure if her money was involved she would understand what i mean.

Currently i earn more than her, i found a temporary solution which is to keep her out of the financial decisions, Whenever. i want to buy stuff for the house I dont consult her anymore, i just go and buy the stuff and return home showing her i bought it, instead of the normal asking her which is better and she picks and we begin to fight and argue. This is temporal and actually not the best but what can i do? The fights are just getting to me.

When we started i used to expose her to how much I had and all and plans to maybe get a land and all and maybe start bulding. She knows how much i earn and all. but i dont think she is matured to handled some of these things. And i guess cos she knows of the money available (my saivngs) this is why she just goes for the most expensive and all and just acts lavish.

I had to lie to her that i was scammed of several of millions through MMM to make her forget about the available cash.

Just imagine the rubbish i have to go through.

See me see whahala , me and my own wife again.

Is anyone dating a partner with an opposite spending habit.

Can you share and let me learn how you overcame this problem.

overcomer123:
How do couples with different spending patterns cope

my partner is driving me crazy, we have been fighting about everything that has to do with money, she is kinda of lavish and i am prudent. It is really frustrating, she sees me as a miser. She has this idea the higher the cost the more quality, but i know this is not necessary the case. at least from experience, i know how people inflate prices , i try to spend on actual value. I have sat her down and explained to her. How we should nt waste, she promises to change but next thing she is back to the basics.

I also think i may be partially responsible for this, during our courtship, i use to lavish her with very expensive gifts. which to me shd nt be a crime, I wasnt spending beyond my means and there is nothing wrong in giving your woman some exclusive treats once in a while what now bothers me is she expects the cinderella story will continue forever.

There was a day the argument got so intense, she began to say very uncool stuff, on hw she know i hate spending on her and always complain. i really felt hurt. She never looks at the big picture, it is always the most expensive stuff she wants, whenever we do anything.

Our counseling was rushed and proper attention wasnt given to finances and all, everyone just believes she is a well behaved girl. We just got married, I really dont know how i missed this earlier during courtship, but it really causing alot of whahala in our home. The funny part is most of this so called expenses are usually to be solely footed by me. My wife has not for one day called me to say she too will contribute this amount for this or that. I dont complain, or expect, where i have problem is when i decide to pay and she complains it is nt good enough. Am sure if her money was involved she would understand what i mean.

Currently i earn more than her, i found a temporary solution which is to keep her out of the financial decisions, Whenever. i want to buy stuff for the house I dont consult her anymore, i just go and buy the stuff and return home showing her i bought it, instead of the normal asking her which is better and she picks and we begin to fight and argue. This is temporal and actually not the best but what can i do? The fights are just getting to me.

When we started i used to expose her to how much I had and all and plans to maybe get a land and all and maybe start bulding. She knows how much i earn and all. but i dont think she is matured to handled some of these things. And i guess cos she knows of the money available (my saivngs) this is why she just goes for the most expensive and all and just acts lavish.

I had to lie to her that i was scammed of several of millions through MMM to make her forget about the available cash.

Just imagine the rubbish i have to go through.

See me see whahala , me and my own wife again.

Is anyone dating a partner with an opposite spending habit.

Can you share and let me learn how you overcame this problem.

overcomer123:
How do couples with different spending patterns cope

my partner is driving me crazy, we have been fighting about everything that has to do with money, she is kinda of lavish and i am prudent. It is really frustrating, she sees me as a miser. She has this idea the higher the cost the more quality, but i know this is not necessary the case. at least from experience, i know how people inflate prices , i try to spend on actual value. I have sat her down and explained to her. How we should nt waste, she promises to change but next thing she is back to the basics.

I also think i may be partially responsible for this, during our courtship, i use to lavish her with very expensive gifts. which to me shd nt be a crime, I wasnt spending beyond my means and there is nothing wrong in giving your woman some exclusive treats once in a while what now bothers me is she expects the cinderella story will continue forever.

There was a day the argument got so intense, she began to say very uncool stuff, on hw she know i hate spending on her and always complain. i really felt hurt. She never looks at the big picture, it is always the most expensive stuff she wants, whenever we do anything.

Our counseling was rushed and proper attention wasnt given to finances and all, everyone just believes she is a well behaved girl. We just got married, I really dont know how i missed this earlier during courtship, but it really causing alot of whahala in our home. The funny part is most of this so called expenses are usually to be solely footed by me. My wife has not for one day called me to say she too will contribute this amount for this or that. I dont complain, or expect, where i have problem is when i decide to pay and she complains it is nt good enough. Am sure if her money was involved she would understand what i mean.

Currently i earn more than her, i found a temporary solution which is to keep her out of the financial decisions, Whenever. i want to buy stuff for the house I dont consult her anymore, i just go and buy the stuff and return home showing her i bought it, instead of the normal asking her which is better and she picks and we begin to fight and argue. This is temporal and actually not the best but what can i do? The fights are just getting to me.

When we started i used to expose her to how much I had and all and plans to maybe get a land and all and maybe start bulding. She knows how much i earn and all. but i dont think she is matured to handled some of these things. And i guess cos she knows of the money available (my saivngs) this is why she just goes for the most expensive and all and just acts lavish.

I had to lie to her that i was scammed of several of millions through MMM to make her forget about the available cash.

Just imagine the rubbish i have to go through.

See me see whahala , me and my own wife again.

Is anyone dating a partner with an opposite spending habit.

Can you share and let me learn how you overcame this problem.

DonaTee:


@op u av to calm down a little. Try to make a mental pix or calculation of the basic important spending u guys make in a month. By this I mean feeding.

also calculate wat u spend on luxury.

Table it n show her.

Ask her how she thinks d money will flow when d kids start coming.

Ask her how u guys would b able to build ur own house n houses for rent

ask her jow u guys would b able to hav health n emergency savings

ask her how u guys can b able to create plan B businesses

ask het how u both can fund vacations.

When she answer finish wether gud or bad pls remind her dat timea are hard. And tell her
1. how much u ll b giving her for house upkeep.
2. How much u ll b giving her as pocket money (just a tease...like awuff)

3. Her salary is for her upkeep n hair.
But during festivities n birthday n anniversary u go dey giv am money as it pleases u.

verily I say unto u, soon she may get advice abt stopping u from buying foodstuffs n such.
Dat na her department n apriko is allowed.
Even my hubby knws I do apiriko in market list n he uses it to tease me.
When we started some times he ll withold things frm me. After throwing tantrum I ll couple myself. Yrs down he told me he was testing n training me on how to forfeit during lack. Im grateful for dat.

But seriously be firm in ur financial management if not na she go first tell u how u dey lazy wen ur mates r hustling.

sorry for boring long post

Genea:
lolx, u r very smart ooo

GodsLastBorn:
you and coldfeet are very funny based on naivety. Why would a loaded guy come here, an online forum to seek such nonsense as " letting the females know he's loaded"? And the worse part is that you even encouraged coldfeet smh. In similar discourse pls you can try not to comment if what you want to post makes no sense or helps the op, thanks.
@Op
You are the architect of your problem, Never ever let your partner know how much you have, salary until she proves herself and even after she proved herself you still don't let her know about 80% of your financial status. This advice have saved a lot of wise men. That's what saved an uncle of mine after his wife divorced him and he's grateful to God and more but that's a story for another day.
You guys are newly married and you're supposed to have a separate account (set up a trustfund)where you are to be saving money for your future children's education to avoid hbp of how to pay schools fees in furue and ensure they get good education and other account where you can save up money for rainy days, unforseen circumstances, projects and more. Life is all about good plans and execution so it really drives me crazy that your wife is doing this, it pisses me off that in such economic situation that a human being with brains will be lavishing anothers savings based on the excuse that she's a wife?! Not that she's Babangida's or Abachas daughter. This has to stop and it depends on you, you better man up and be ready for the temptations she's going to throw at you, nagging office more but use wisdom, don't engage her and study her. Her personality will determine how far you will have to go before she learns because now its no more a discussion issue.